Monday, April 2, 2007

AsshatMania!

Disclaimer: I'm totally indulging. I know most people that read this are not into wrestling, but last night was Wrestlemania, the Superbowl of Sports Entertainment!! Plus I had to pay $50 to watch it. Plus, it's my damn blog. Don't worry, I'm sure someone's drunk and/or pantyless somewhere and I'll be sure to get to that later.

So Wrestlemania 23 was pretty predictable. Only one real surprise, two if you count the streaker.

I bet Aretha got paid more money to sing one song than K-Fed did in his divorce settlement.


The Money in the Bank Ladder Match was probably the best match of the night. Once again the moment that everyone's talking about and that they'll reshow for years when looking back at Wrestlemania 23 comes courtesy of the most awesome guy in the world, my boyfriend Edge. Oh yeah, and Jeff Hardy. But Edge took the bump kay? THE LADDER BROKE Y'ALL! He was carried out on a stretcher and I couldn't tell if it was for real or not. I heard he's ok. I still would like to volunteer to give him an oral exam though, never can be too careful.


Here's the one true surprise-- The new Mr. Money in the Bank is my boy MRRRRRR. Kennedy!





Kennedy!

I was hoping so bad he'd cash it in against Cena later, but that would have been too much for the creative geniuses to come up with. Because this is the kind of riveting stuff we get:

Yup, the Battle of the Billionaires. Vince McMahon lost and had to get his head shaved. Shocker! I was really hoping Stone Cold would shave Donald Trump after he gave him the stunner, but you know, no. Boring. Someone had a sign that said "THIS IS STUPID." Yup.
Undertaker wins! Shocker! He keeps his streak, now at 15-0! Plus, they even managed to make his entrance longer!

Piss break. Sorry Kane.


Benoit's still pissed he had to tap to Cena last week on Raw.

This was a mini-surprise (if I gave a shit) Melina retains the Women's Championship proving that it takes more than breast implants and taking off your clothes in Playboy to get a title belt, it takes breast implants and some actual talent. Poor Mickie James got so screwed.

"Gee thanks for the consolidation match Vince, you still ruined ECW."

What a shocker!! The golden boy wins again! (Decent match though) And all the kids go to bed happy while the parents are left cursing that they had to spend $49.99.

PHOTOS

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