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Get out the bongos and celebrate! Matthew McConaughey announced yesterday on his website that he and his Brazilian model girlfriend, Camila Alves are expecting a baby.
Matt wrote: "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. It's 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. Wanna know how we made it? See, first I put the ol' love machine in her hooha and yaahhhooo! Git er'done! Now there's this teeny little person in there all growin' an' shit!"
Ok, not really, but you could imagine him saying that second part though right?
Matt continues: "We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being mother and a father, and shepherding him or her through this life. Wish us the best, keep us in your prayers, and God bless evolution. Thanks for being fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and Camila and our child do our best to just keep living.
-Wow,
McConaughey."
Matt's rep says, "He is euphoric. He couldn't be happier."
SOURCE
I know, I'm slacking again. Ok so wow, lots to catch up on with the asshats so lets get started.
So first off in Do We Care? news, the wedding of Usher and futurebabymama Tameka Foster is off. It was supposed to happen this past Saturday, but only hours before they called it off. No one really knows who called it off. Some say Usher, some say Tameka, some say Usher's mother, some say who gives a shit. They supposedly disagreed on lots of the wedding details. For instance, Tameka wanted to serve barbeque at the reception and Usher wanted a celebrity chef (I'm not kidding, it's on PEOPLE so it must be true) Also, Usher wanted to go shirtless and Tameka didn't like that idea (That's not on PEOPLE, but I'm going with it.) All I know is, good for them! It's refreshing that they realized they were making a mistake before they went through with it and then brought a child into the world. Oh wait. Well anyway, somewhere Chili is laughing and that warms my heart because Chili is awesome. No scrubs!
In more ex-couples news, Britney and K-Fed's divorce has been finalized. That's right ladies, Kevin Federline is a free man!! Goddammit, there are crickets in here! They agreed to a 50-5o custody split of their two sons. So 50 percent of the time K-Fed gets the kids and the other 50 percent Child Protective Services will get the children. It's kind of sad, who would have predicted while watching Chaotic that it would come to this. They seemed so in love.
At a recent concert, a female fan grabbed Tim McGraw's balls. His wife, Faith Hill was having none of that. She got onstage, grabbed a mic and proceeded to rip the fan a new one in front of the entire arena: "Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend,. You don't go grabbin' somebody else's, somebody's husband's [private parts], you understand me? That's very disrespectful." Well, I guess she sort of ripped her a new one, more like politely tore in a nice neat line, like those people that unwrap presents and go "Oh, what nice paper." She should have beat her ass like Whitney would have back in the day if some ho tried that with BobbAY. But thumbs up Faith, way to tell that bitch you are the only one who manhandles Tim's cojones in the classiest way possible. Too bad you couldn't use the same restraint when Carrie Underwood won the CMA.SOURCE
The Church of $cientology would like to welcome its newest member, Story Elias, the newborn son of Jenn Elfman. The kid was actually born on July 23rd but it was a silent birth and Jenna wasn't sure how long she was supposed to stay silent.
Just in case you missed it, she named the kid Story. Yeah.SOURCE
Now for the McConaughey report:
Still shirtless, hot, and active.
And now, a reason for all the new moms to feel really shitty about their post-baby bodies:
Jamie Pressley just had a baby like what, yesterday? Yeah, go do some crunches you lazy bitches!
Paris Hilton has been cast in a movie musical called Repo! The Genetic Opera. The film is set in 2056 and centers around a mysterious plague that threatens the survival of the human race, and things hinge on the financing of an expensive organ transplant.
Paris will play the part of the mysterious plague.SOURCE
