Cruz Beckham Status:

Still pissed off. Stay out of his way muthafucka.

Yes you are!

Spamalot Leaves Britney Alone

Former Monty Python star and author of the musical SPAMALOT, told the Associated Press that he changed the lyrics in the song Divas Lament to avoid making fun of Britney Spears. The reason? "Because we don't laugh at sad people," Idle said.

He continued, "We changed the lyrics in London, on tour, on Broadway and in Las Vegas. We think that it's now too sad. Britney Spears is being tortured to death and we don't want to be on that side."

Britney has been replaced in the lyrics with Victoria Beckham since she is not sad.

Here are the lyrics in question:

I am sick of my career
Always starting second gear
Up to here, with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammy no Rewards,
I've no Tony Awards,
I'm Constantly replaced with Britney Spears

Whatever Happened to My Show?
I was a hit, now I don't know.
I'm with a bunch of British Knights,
Prancing 'round in woolly tights.

Oh my god, I don't know this show, but please tell this song is sung by new SPAMALOT cast member, Clay Aiken! How perfect is that?




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Lady lumps, lumpless seats, and other lumps

When designing outfits for The Spice Girls Reunion tour, Roberto Cavalli was asked by Vicky Beckham to design outfits that would "give her hips". (How about a sammich?)

Cavalli said, "I asked them about their bodies, what they wanted to show and hide. (Victoria) was the most daring. She wanted to experiment, to surprise and be different.

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Speaking of the Spice Girls tour, despite being touted as "sold out," the girls played to a half empty Mandaly Arena last night in Las Vegas. It was their second show in the city.

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Don't feel too bad for them. Especially Victoria, who comes home to this every night:

Celebrity endorsements, lawsuits, and inner gay men

The very awesome Victoria Beckham told Page Six recently that she is sick of celebrities that slap their names on products such as clothing lines and perfumes and have nothing to do with the production. As you may know, Vicky has designed jeans lines for Rock & Republic and Rocawear, but she insists she is different because she was actively involved in the production.

On the endorsing stars she said, "There are so many - and I hate the word celebrities - clothing lines and fragrances, and most of them have nothing to do with it. I'm so camp! I'm a gay man trying to get out!"

There are actually two gay man trying to get out and it appears they are attempting to escape out of her chest!

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In related news, Teri Hatcher is being sued by cosmetics company Hydroderm for a complete refund of her $2.4 million endorsement deal plus $400,000 in expenses. Hydroderm says that Teri signed an exclusive endorsement deal in 2005 but his since cheated on them by endorsing at least 17 of their competitors. That makeup slut! One of the competitors, City Cosmetics, has a lip plumper that is a direct competitor to Hydroderm's lip plumper and Terri posed for pictures applying the competing product!

The lawsuit says: "Hatcher's name, image and likeness have been linked to so many competitors' products (at least 17!) that it is anyone's guess as to what product keeps her skin and lips youthful."

Oooh, oooh, wait,I know the answer!! BOTOX! Youthful though? A youthful corpse maybe.

Teri's legal representative has responded to the claims calling the allegations an "unjustified and public assault on Teri Hatcher's good name, reputation and celebrity." The statement continues, "Ms. Hatcher will respond swiftly and decisively by appropriate legal means to recover everything she is owed under her contract, as well as compensatory and punitive damages for Hydroderm's outrageous accusations."

Seems like Teri just proved Posh's point.

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BREAKING NEWS!!!

Victoria Beckham is brunette again!!

I guess she wants to look like "Posh" again.

I wonder if this means Geri Halliwell is going to do that awesome red and yellow combo hair again!

PIC
& PIC

A Zigga-Zig-Bra

The Spice Girls will release their Greatest Hits (hits?) album exclusively through Victoria's Secret. The album, which comes out on Nov. 13th, will not be available for purchase at retail music stores (are there even any of those left?), however it will be available for download at iTunes and other music sites.

The album will feature 13 of their biggest hits (I dare you to name more than three), plus two new songs called "Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)" and "Voodoo."

The group will also perform during the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show.

You know they're gonna play that shit on a loop. I feel sorry for their employees. Just remember ladies, Victoria's Secret = earplugs.

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I Officially Love Her!

I never was a fan of Victoria Beckham's. She just always seemed like a snobby bitch to me. But lately she's been growing on me. I think it all started when she had her friend Scary's back and publicly called Eddie Murphy a "Beverly Hills Cock." Then I saw some of her show Victoria Beckham: Coming to America the other night and I actually caught myself smiling and laughing thinking "You know, she's pretty damn cool!"

If there was any doubt remaining as to her awesomeness, check this one out: Paris Hilton has been quoted as saying, "We could be soulmates" about Victoria and that she'd love to hang out with her. To which my girl Vicky replied (to a "friend"), "Over my dead body!" That is so awesome I have to go change my knickers!

You Go Girl!! Who cares if your show tanked, you are fabulous!

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$CIENTOLOGY UPDATE

IN (?):

Well, she's already got the perfect outfit!

Rumor is that J-Lo and Ratboy are looking into joining Scientology. Now a report is out that Jennifer's father has been a Scientologist for 20 years.

"It's weird people want to paint [Scientology] in a negative way," Jen is quoted as saying. "It's just sad that people would look at it in that way."

I don't know which is be more annoying: the whole Bennifer thing or J-Lo as a S$ientologist. Tough one.
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OUT:


From The New York Daily News:

Victoria Beckham is telling pals she has no intention of joining the Church of Scientology, despite her close friendship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard.

Says another pal: "It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke." '

Ut oh, Tom's gonna be pissed about that one. I bet he'll make Katie stop being friends with Posh.

AAAACKK!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!