Because they think we are dumbasses

J-Lo and Marc Anthony attempted some damage control by taking a "romantic getaway" to Puerto Rico over the holidays.

Their reps have told PEOPLE, that despite all the rumors (and both publicly seen not wearing their wedding rings) that they doing "great."

Divorce announcement in 3.......2.........

It's Still a Felony!

"Hey I'll be able to vote in the next election. Then I'll get a free Starbucks too!"

What's the deal with Madonna and A-Rod?

So Madonna and Alex Rodriguez took separate helicopters to the Hamptons and went to Jerry Seinfeld's place and yada yada yada.

According to a source in the Hamptons: “A-Rod arrived at the airport by helicopter and was whisked away in one of Seinfeld’s Porsches. Madonna arrived less than an hour later by helicopter and left with Seinfeld in another car."

The source added: “It is believed they all went to Seinfeld’s mansion for a discreet party for a few hours, before they all left separately.”

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Well, anymore.

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BREAKING NEWS!!!

People take John Mayer's picture again!!!

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Father of the Year

Us Weekly has a story in its latest issue on how everyone's favorite dad Joe Simpson is to blame for Jessica and Tony Romo's split last month.

According to a source, Joe even asked Tony to fire his agent and hire him to take over his $67.5 millon NFL contract! Then he told Tony if he and Jess got engaged, he'd broker the deal to sell the engagement and wedding stories to a magazine "the same that I did with Ashlee."

Joe Simpson defended himself to Us saying, “It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?"

Uh, in this case? Lou Pearlman, Heidi Fleiss, The Church of Scientology, any pimp on Sunset Strip, Jeff Archuleta, Satan? Yeah, any of those would be better.

The story also claims that Tony was upset because Jessica's a lush. A "pal" said, "Tony goes out and he will drink socially, but he said Jess takes it to an extreme."

As for the status of their relationship, Jessica and Tony are now in a "middle-of-the-road state" and are "talking."

Olly out?

So it looks like Ryan Seacrest has a new bear--uh, girlfriend. He was spotted out having dinner at Ago last night with model/singer/actress/ex-Benji Madden fiancee Sophie Monk. The two were introduced by a mutual friend who said, "Sophie's got a great sense of humor. She's really goofy and sweet, a down-to-earth gal." Well the sense of humor part's gotta be true. Ironically, Sophie was discovered on the Australian version of "American Idol" called "Pop Stars." Sorry Holly. Or Molly. Looks like you're out of a job!

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Jeremy Piven's kind of a stalker

Last week in Hollywood, Jeremy Piven was spotted picking up two mini-dresses from a gift suite. When the staff asked who the dresses were for, Jeremy first played it coy and said they were for a "curvy brunette" that he had a crush on, but later revealed they were for Dita Von Teese after he realized he didn't know her size. (Hey Jeremy, I'm pretty sure her waist size is -5 inches. Damn!)

An employee said, "He said he likes her, but it's not official yet." So he doesn't officially like her?

Dita's lawyer, Keith Fink confirms that the two have met and gives Jeremy this advice: "She is single, and she's not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there's a lot of guys interested."

This whole story's kind of weird. So he's picking out clothes for her, but he's too chickenshit to ask her out on an actual date?

Maybe the Dita thing was a cover and the clothes were really for himself? That one actually makes more sense. And if that's the case, he probably has a pretty good chance with Dita, since she likes that kind of thing:





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Are we still playing this game?

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were spotted canoodling by the fire (Stop laughing!) at a party at Carrie Fisher's house Sunday night after attending Rufus Wainwright's tribute to Judy Garland's 1961 Carnegie Hall concert (Hardy, har, har, Judy Garland, we get it.) at the Hollywood Bowl.

A source said: "Jake and Reese were sitting by the fire all night, talking. Everyone was talking, laughing and celebrating Rufus, but they were deep, deep in conversation. It was like there was no one else in the world."

Jake and Reese attended the concert with Jake's father, Stephen Gyllenhaal, and his actress godmother Jamie Lee Curtis (I had no clue she was his godmother. That would mean she could also be his godfather too right?) bringing on speculation that the two, who have yet to confirm that they are dating, (Ok, seriously, stop it! ) are getting serious.

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I don't know what's so funny. I'm sure after their intense, in-depth conversation about Judy Garland they had some hot and nasty sex.