This next song goes out to Paris Hilton...

I recently saw Papa Roach live for the first time and I've gotta say, they're pretty damn awesome. I never really gave them much credit before and they surprised the hell out of me at that show.

Here's a video off their upcoming album, Metamorphosis (comes out next Tuesday, March 24th) , it's called "Hollywood Whore" and it's my new favorite song. At the show, lead singer Jacoby Shaddix dedicated it to the lovely Paris Hilton-



Be warned though, around 2:50 it gets a little Raiders of the Lost Ark scary, but it's awesome.

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya honey!" I think I love this dude!

It ain't pretty when the pretty leaves you with no place to go

Hey, remember Rockstar:INXS? Think......

Ok, well, INXS have kicked winner J.D. Fortune out of the band, and apparently he's homeless now. (Is anyone else surprised that they were even still together? They had that one album, toured, and then we never heard from them again.)

Fortune, real name Jason Dean Bennison, recently told Canada's Entertainment Tonight how INXS delivered the news that he just wasn't roit for the band after all. JD said, "I was in an airport (in) Hong Kong and literally got a handshake. They said, 'Thank you very much.' I found myself really alone because I had traveled with these guys for 23 months. I don't know where I am going from sofa to sofa, from night to night. I am trying to get through my life."

JD also confessed that the firing might have been the result of his cocaine addiction, adding, "It got as bad as it needed to be for me to numb out the fact that I knew this was going to come to a screeching halt." He also says that he has been clean for two years.

Look for JD to appear on the next season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Wham rocks!

I just heard this this morning and it's my new favorite song! I'm usually skeptical when bands cover 80's pop songs and make them heavy, but this one's pretty damn awesome. Ok, I'm a sucker for when bands cover 80's pop songs and make them heavy.



Happy Valentine's Day!

Please no!

Limp Bizkit have announced that they are reuniting with the band's original line-up. They will reunite after eight years with a tour and a new album.

Fred "hire me as an actor" Durst and guitarist Wes Borland issued a joint statement:

"We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why Limp Bizkit is back."

Ok, first: Limp Bizkit is back because they need money and they know there are morons out there that will pay money to hear "Nookie."

Secondly, they're disgusted with the state of heavy popular music? Limp Bizkit is a very large part of the reason why music sucks so much today. Once that shit got popular, no one even bothered putting out decent music anymore.

SOURCE

Everything that is wrong with music today

So KANYE WEST... beat my boy Axl in the race for #1 album (in this country anyway. Chinese Democracy went platinum in Finland bitches!) While Axl remains missing, Kanye is currently having his head measured to so his asinine Star Trek glasses can be refitted to accommodate his (even more) expanded head.

KANYE is so impressed with his new album, 808s and Heartbreak, that he has reportedly turned his back on the hip-hop genre altogether, as he claims it has become a "cliche," and will now focus on a new genre he has created which he refers to as "pop art."

"This is not hip-hop music. Taking a sample, looping it and doing all that 'throw your hands up in the sky' thing has become such a cliche. Hip-hop is over for me. I sing, not rap, on this album. I now want to be grouped among those musicians you see in those old black-and-white photos - the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, the Beatles. And I'm not going to get there by doing just another rap album full of samples. I've had to create a whole new musical genre to describe what I'm doing now and I'm calling it 'pop-art' - which is not to be confused with the visual art movement."

Christ, where do I begin? Ok, first off, while I agree with Kanye's assessment of the hip-hop genre, it was ALREADY cliche when he came on to the scene, so the way I see it, he owes all of his success to the fact that it was already at the point where any moron can become a successful hip hop artist!

Secondly, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, and the Beatles never used fucking auto-tune! A vocoder is NOT singing and a product it was used in should never be referred to as "art." Do people actually like the way that shit sounds? This is very troubling to me. Worst fucking invention in music since Britney Spears. And it's all your fault Cher.

Kanye recently compared the current musical landscape to the greatness of the 60's and 70's. Yeah, ok. Shit, the 90's (which sucked!) were better than most of the garbage that's out today. Know what people had in the 60's and 70's Kanye? Talent. These days, people decide they want to be stars before they even know if they have any talent. Because it doesn't matter anymore. Singles have replaced albums, autotune have replaced singing ability, The Pussycat Dolls have replaced The Supremes, and Guitar Hero has replaced guitars.

I sound like a pissy old fuck, I know, but maybe that's because I am one now and I finally understand where the pissy old fucks that used to complain about the synthesized music I loved as a child in the 80's and how it wasn't "real music" were coming from. And that shit was more "art" than today's crap!

SOURCE

American Music Awards

Last night were the American Music Awards. I don't normally watch them, but there was apparently a rumor that our leader would finally be appearing before us and it seemed like an actual possibility. So I armed myself with a bottle of Merlot and decided to watch it instead of my other television option, WWE Survivor Series (which I figured would suck since the most awesome wrestler ever, my beloved Edge, has been gone for the past three months).

Although throughout the night, host Jimmy Kimmel made references to a "surprise guest," it wasn't Mr. Rose. We did get braids, but they belonged to Alicia Keys, who closed the show performing with Queen Latifah as special guest #1 (some "surprise", they kept showing her in the audience!) and some opera singer.



Though that was a letdown, it was nice to see somebody actually singing and playing an instrument instead of singing three lines and dancing to backup singers/taped vocals because that's what the show mainly consisted of.

Even Christina followed the theme of the evening with her opening number:


I will admit though, every time I see Beyonce do this performance it memorizes me and I sit and watch the entire thing:


Then I go on YouTube and watch other people do it. Then I watch the original routine that was the inspiration. Then I do it in front of my bathroom mirror. Then I shoot myself.

Speaking of suicidal (or is that homicidal):


Seriously sweetie, no man is worth that, let alone a Jonas brother. And why no reaction shot? They weren't afraid to get one after every recycled Russell Brand joke Jimmy Kimmel attempted:



So then Kanye said he wanted to be Elvis:


And this was the result:


Here's Scott Weiland introducing Pink who will be performing a song called "Sober." Oh the irony:


And Pink rocked that shit:



The most awesome person in the world, David Cook gets stuck doing the pre-show and then got cut for a commercial:


But they had enough time for this garbage:

Can those other girls even sing?

IT'S MILEY!



Didn't get it then:

Crotchgrabs? Ewww.

And don't get it now:

Thank god for alcohol.

Meanwhile, on Survivor Series:


Yup.

My dream come true!!!

So guess what? Kanye West has moved up his album release date to November 24th!!! That's right, the day after Chinese Democracy comes out!! Please please please let this turn into a feud!!

As for the reason? Kanye blogged: "I CHANGED MY ALBUM TO NOVEMBER SOMETHING CAUSE I FINISHED THE ALBUM AND I FELT LIKE IT.. I WANT YALL TO HEAR IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE."

But it looks like Kanye is picking a fight with the wrong person. On his blog today, Kanye posted a photo of Killers' front man Brandon Flowers with the heading "FRESH KID." Hmmm...that's random. Not! See, The Killers' new album has also been pushed up one day to Monday November 24th. (New releases usually come out on Tuesdays.)

No, no, no Kanye!!

Wait, let me rephrase that so you understand:

NO NO NO KANYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRANDON FLOWERS IS NO MATCH FOR YOU!!! IF YOU WANT 2 SPAR WITH YOUR TRUE THREAT, I SUGGEST YOU GET IN THE RING WITH ONE W. AXL ROSE... OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST AFRAID 2 BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'LL KICK YOUR BITCHY LITTLE ASS... LISTEN HERE AXL IS THE TRUE MESSIAH AND KING OF RANTS WHO THROWS TANTRUMS AND SHOWS UP LATE 2 SHOWS, NOT YOUR COPYCAT PUNKASS... LOOK FUCKHEAD , I SEE YOU STANDING THERE... YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL? WHY DON'T YOU JUST POST A PHOTO OF AXL WITH THE HEADING "STALE MAN"... I DARE YOU 2!!!!!!!! DO IT KANYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DARE YOU TO RISK INVOKING THE WRATH OF OUR LEADER... DO IT YOU PARASITIC HOMEFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT ON YOUR NICEST PINK POLO SHIRT AND THOSE ASININE GLASSES WITH THE SLOTS AND CHALLENGE MR. ROSE TO A DUEL LIKE YOU DID WITH 50 CENT... AXL'S MORE GANGSTA THAN HIM ANYWAY ... SEE AXL GOT SKILLS.. MAYBE YOU DON'T CONSIDER HIM A THREAT BECAUSE MOST OF YOUR FANS DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS OR THINK HE IS NO LONGER RELEVANT, BUT DON'T COUNT OUT ALL THE OLD ROCK FANS WHO ARE GOING 2 GO OUT 2 BEST BUY 2 BUY THE ALBUM THEY'VE BEEN WAITING 2 HEAR FOR WAY 2 LONG, ABOUT 2 HUNDRED YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE WARNED SQUID BRAINS....HE'LL KNOCK YOUR ASS DOWN 2 THE PAVEMENT....YOU STILL 2 CHICKEN? THAT'S OK, LUCKY FOR YOU, THAT CHICKEN COOP AXL BUILT FOR BUCKETHEAD IS VACANT, SO YOU CAN GO LIVE IN THERE... CHINESE DEMOCRACY STARTS NOW... SO TAKE THAT ONE TO HEART!!!

Round one! You're welcome Axl.

Come on, Fight!! Fight!! Fight!!

In related news, the new Ludacris album has also been moved up a day to November 24th. Wow, it's like they're all a bunch of women whose cycles synched up!

SOURCE

Happy Birthday Slash!

Guitar hero, living legend, and one of the most awesome people ever, Saul Hudson turns 43 today!!!

To celebrate, here's a video of a great Slash solo from the infamous St. Louis riot show back in 91. Right after his solo, they break into "Rocket Queen"(my favorite song of all time), and shortly after they start is when Axl loses his shit and jumps into the crowd to beat up some guy with a camera. Enjoy!

ENOUGH!

Ok, who else is SOOOO sick and tired of that stupid ode to faux-lesbianism "I Kissed A Girl"?

Seriously, it is scientifically impossible to hit "scan" on your radio and not have that damn song come up on at least three stations at the same time! It is so fucking annoying. Even more annoying? Those drunk ass girls who think they're being all sexy by making out with each other at clubs when it really just reeks of desperation because they are just doing it to get approval from some nasty hootin' and hollerin' frat boys. Thanks for encouraging this behavior even more Katy Perry!

(NOTE: Not that I even need to say it, but I would just like to point out that I have no problem at all with the gay and lesbian community, you all know the shit I'm talking about.)

So now this Katy Perry chick is getting her fifteen minutes for being soooo shocking. Yeah, ok, please. This shit was already done like 10 years ago. Newsflash: Girl on girl kissing isn't so risque anymore. It's 2008, look at all the famous mainstream lesbians: Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, Rosie O'Donnell, Clay Aiken! So sorry Katy Perry, you and the dude who wrote this song for you suck.

Know what's still shocking in 2008? Bestiality, that's what. Fucking animals! So with that in mind, I revised your song for you Katy. You're welcome.

This may be hard to understand
Please, no intervention
I’m not ashamed, I’ll take a stand
Against repression
Try not to misconstrue
I’m gonna drop a bomb
I'm asking you to hold
Your condescension

I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
I know you might think that is sick
I fucked a squirrel, won’t deny it
Hope rabies didn't transmit
It felt so small
It felt so slight
Gonna store some nuts tonight
I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't think that I’m insane
Your opinion don’t matter
It’s not a detrimental shame
I just love nature
It's not what, humans do
He’s my hot furry game
It’s not rodent abuse
PETA stay the fuck away!

I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
Ain’t that some crazy-ass shit?
I fucked a squirrel, not implying it
Rodents don’t just make Richard Gere tick
Made up this song
Easy to write
I’ll be a success overnight
I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
I liked it

This love is inexplicable
That fur, that tail, screw "permissible"
Prefer Rocky to Bullwinkle
Don't knock it 'til you try it
Roadkill appeal; that acorn scent!

I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
Doesn’t that make me a wild chick?
I fucked a squirrel, won’t deny it
But his teeth did hurt a bit
This could be wrong
Am I alright?
Didn’t take my meds tonight
I fucked a squirrel, and I….
I FUCKED A SQUIRREL???

OH SHIT, CARRRR!!!!!!!

Ripoff??

So there's this guy Andrew from a band called Creaky Boards who claims Coldplay's song "Viva La Vida" (that annoying one in the ITunes commercial that you think is U2 at first) is a ripoff of a song that he wrote. He even says the Coldplay lead douche Chris Martin went to one of his band's shows. What makes it even funnier is that the name of Andrew's song is "The Songs I Didn't Write." Judge for yourself. Here's the full version of Coldplay's song. Both songs suck ass in my opinion.


But both Coldplay and Andrew ripped off this awesome guy:



In related news, Ricky Martin has not commented on whether or not he too would like to sue Coldplay.

Shoot me now!

The New Kids on the Block have a new video. I can't believe I just typed that. So now you can see them lip sync awful lyrics like "With your flip flops, half shirt, short shorts, mini skirt" with synchronized dance moves while wearing all white. Didn't the Backstreet Boys do this ten years ago. Wait, didn't the New Kids on the Block do this twenty years ago? Yeah, it's really, really pathetic. I keep looking for Heidi Montag in the beach scenes and sadly, she's not there.

On the other hand, sometimes attempting to recapture your glory days works awesomely:

Rockstar: KISS?

Because they haven't made enough money yet, KISS founding members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are in talks to launch an "American Idol style" tv show to find four new replacements for KISS so the band can continue on long after they retire.

Manager Doc McGhee said, "I believe that KISS can go on forever. I believe that there is a way - and we are talking to people and we're pretty close to getting it done - about finding the four new members of KISS."

Well, it worked for Menudo.

SOURCE

Worst idea ever!

Yo, it's about that time
To bring back the rhythm and the WHY?

So the Funky Bunch are reuniting......without Marky Mark! The original members have teamed up again, recruited new members that are not Oscar-nominated actors and are now calling themselves the The Funk B's.

Original member Scott 'Great Scott' Ross said, "Hector, Terry, and I have had the opportunity to do many wonderful things in and outside of the music industry since the days of (hit single) Good Vibrations. We always knew that we would do another musical venture together. This year it felt like it was the right time to return. The music on our new CD represents the best in world music and the newest members add a great sound and new look to our product!"

Personally, I'm waiting for Hootie and the Blowfish reunion, without Hootie of course.

SOURCE

Falling Down (twice)

Did you hear? Scarlett Johansson wants to be a singer now! Here's her new video, called "Falling Down."



Ok, was anyone able to get through more than 5 seconds of that loose stool? (And it doesn't count if you fell asleep!) Woody Allen probably told her she could sing in yet another attempt to get into her pants. And what's with the Sinead ripoff? I was waiting for her to start singing about how she goes out every night and sleeps all day.

Fuck that shit.

Here's another video to a song called "Falling Down", only the difference is that this one's awesome:



Great band: check!
Kickass song: check!
Ode to classic 80's movie: check!

She only had 30 minutes to save the world--but it was free

Madonna performed a special concert Wednesday night at New York City's Roseland Ballroom to promote her new album, "Hard Candy". 1000 contest winners were given tickets by local radio stations and another 200 tickets were given to some of her fan club members. For the rest of the tickets, they were on a first come, first serve basis on the day of the show with thousands of fans lining up and camping out 60 hours before the show. The first 750 people were given wristbands and admitted into the show for free.

The show was streamed on MSN.com and on Verizon and Vodafone. When all was said and done, Madonna performed for 32 minutes.

Here's Madonna, with special guest Timberfuck (those two have totally hooked up at least once) performing "4 Minutes."

SOURCE

TEAM SLASH!

Well, it was inevitable, Scott Weiland is out of Velvet Revolver!

The following official statement was released on the band's website:

'Velvet Revolver founding members Slash, Duff McKagan, Matt Sorum and Dave Kushner announced today that they are parting ways with singer Scott Weiland. "This band is all about its fans and its music and Scott Weiland isn't 100% committed to either,” said Slash. "Among other things, his increasingly erratic on-stage behavior and personal problems have forced us to move on." '

The press release announcing the split was issued while the band was still on stage, playing their final performance ever with Weiland in Amsterdam! Scott did not respond until this morning, when he sent the following email to MTV:

"After reading the comment by Duff, Matt, Dave and the illustrious 'Guitar Hero,' Saul Hudson, a.k.a. Slash, I find it humorous that the so-called four 'founding members' of Velvet Revolver, better known to themselves as 'the Project' before I officially named the band, would decide to move on without me after I had already claimed the group dead in the water on March 20 in Glasgow.

In response to Slash's comment regarding my commitment [to the band], I have to say it is a blatant and tired excuse to cover up the truth. The truth of the matter is that the band had not gotten along on multiple levels for some time. On a musical level, there were moments of joy, inspiration, fun ... at times. But let's not forget the multiple trips to rehab every member of the band had taken (with the exception of one member — no need to mention his name).

Personally speaking, I choose to look forward to the future and performing with a group of friends I have known my entire life, people who have always had my back," Weiland continued. "This also speaks to my commitment to my music and my fellow bandmates in [Stone Temple Pilots] and to the fans who I feel would much rather watch a group of musicians who enjoy being together as opposed to a handful of discontents who at one time used to call themselves a gang."

Scott wrapped up the email with "Good hunting, lads — I think Sebastian Bach would be a fantastic choice."

Not a bad suggestion, but of course they'd have to change their name to SAVAGE ANIMAL!!!!


I'd also like to point out that it's pretty funny that Scott said he wants to "look toward the future" when in actuality he's just attempting to relive the past by reuniting with STP.

Whatev. I'm sure the rest of the band is relieved they don't have to watch his lame Mick Jagger impression every night anymore.

Hey Scott, you're no Axl

Well, it was inevitable, and I'm actually surprised they lasted five years and two albums. It looks like my beloved Velvet Revolver are falling to pieces (sorry). Forgive the long post, but y'all know, ok?

So at a recent tour stop in Glawgow, Scotland, Scott Weiland told fans onstage, "You're watching something special... the last tour by Velvet Revolver."

The day after the incident, drummer Matt Sorum posted a message to fans on his blog:

"So last night was interesting. Had a little band turmoil on stage, as you probably all could tell.

Being in a band is a lot like being in a relationship. Sometimes you just don't get along. I guess there has been more turmoil lately, I guess, with the cancellations and all. It has been frustrating, I am not going to lie.

My career and life in rock 'n' roll has come with its ups and downs. Unfortunately, some people in this business don't realize how great of a life they have. Touring the world, meeting great people and fans all over the world. And just playing music for a living. I feel truly blessed. But sometimes the road can be draining for some. Being away from home and family does grind on you sometimes. With all the traveling and different beds. Personally, I love this shit and sometimes can’t believe I am so lucky to still be doing what I do for a living.

Everybody could see who was unhappy last night, but all I can say is let's keep the rock alive, people!!!! In this life, you just pick up and keep moving. And don't ever let anybody stand in your way."

Scott then responded by releasing the following crazyass statement/personal attack on Matt to Blabbermouth.net:

"Well, first of all, the state of my family affairs is really none of his business, since he is too immature to have a real relationship, let alone children. So don't attempt to stand in a man's shoes when you haven't walked his path. Secondly, 'keeping rock 'n' roll alive?' I've made many attempts to remain cordial with the members of VR, but mainly, the likes of you. Funny though — this is your FIRST band, as opposed to being a hired gun. I've been making records (now on my ninth), which have sold over 35 million copies worldwide and have maintained a level of professionalism regardless of how many drugs I've ingested into my system. I have only cancelled one tour during the entire course of my 16-year run and that was the 'make-up' Australia tour. Now, shall I open that can of worms, Matthew? Release the Kraken? Serve... Volley! You canceled the Aussie tour in the fall because you went to rehab, but I won't say why… we'll just let Blabbermouth find out for themselves.

As for our fans — I will sweat, bruise, and bleed for you. And will continue to do so until the end of this tour. However, you deserve to hear VELVET REVOLVER playing… not certain individuals singing along to get a muddied up sound. God forbid — could one imagine if I grabbed a guitar and started soloing along with Slash? That would never happen because I know my place. It's a shame… we were a gang. But ego and jealousy can get the better of anyone. I wish the best and plan to annihilate the stage in the last few shows.

On a separate note, we did an STP [STONE TEMPLE PILOTS] photo shoot before this tour and it was fun, inspiring and it gave me that thrill — that feeling that got my rocks off from the get-go."

Well Scott is a man of his word, he does bruise and bleed alright. Speaking of, he just recently got out of rehab, again. Anyway, it kinda looks he's been festering some ill-will since Matt's statement seemed to be an apology to fans making excuses for Scott (as ex Guns N' Roses members are PRO's at), while Scott's was more of an attack. I have to wonder who he's talking about with the "certain individuals singing along" comment, because if he's including my boy Duff in that statement, I'm gonna half to open a can of asswhip on his scrawny butt. For real, no one fucks with Duff. And he's lucky he didn't say anything about Slash. Even he knows better.

Seems Scott's looking for an easy out since the long-awaited Stone Temple Pilots reunion is coming up and his head is a little more inflated than usual about it. Trust me, if it weren't and if VR's last album did better, he wouldn't be throwing this little temper tantrum right now.

So then yesterday, Slash commented on the whole mess to BBC Radio 1's Newsbeat. He said "Well, let's put it this way — this is not VELVET REVOLVER's last tour." He even said they are at work on their next album. Uh, ok.

So a new singer perhaps? I hear Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse, and Danny Noriega are available.

SOURCE
SOURCE

Has this been bugging anybody else?

Congrats Madge!

Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night in New York City along with John Mellencamp, Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen, the instrumental band the Ventures, and The Dave Clark Five.

(YouTube links won't work for some reason, so click on the text to view clips)

She was inducted by Timberfuck, who I begrudgingly have to give credit to, because he did a decent job (did we really need two Britney jokes though?).

Madonna decided to be from Michigan last night during her speech, though Madge creeps in every now and then.

Then Iggy Pop (who was snubbed by the Hall of Fame) performed. Um . And check out how the staged the backstage exchange between Iggy and Madonna looks!

SOURCE

Paula's not forever MTV's girl

MTV has dissed it's former darling Paula Abdul big time, choosing not to air her new music video for the song, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.” Those cold-hearted snakes!! (sorry!)

A spokesman for MTV told OK! magazine, “There are currently no plans to play the video.”

The spokesman then added, "There are currently no plans to play any videos."

SOURCE