Look everybody!! Britney's controversial again!

So there is a big hoopla of Britney's new song called "If You Seek Amy." The controversy is over the way Britney pulls some Miss Susie Had A Steamboat type shit with the line "if you seek amy." See, it sounds like something else when she sings it really fast.

Sound it out.

Get it?

Ok, it sounds like "F-U-C-K-me" (Insert sigh, eyeroll and "oh Britney" here)

So now that radio stations are threatening to ban the song, Britney has released a censored version where the word "seek" is changed to "see"--which makes the line “All the boys and the girls are begging to If You See Amy" sound even stupider.


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Something that I just realized:

The Snuggie is a just a freakin' backwards bathrobe!


P.S. - If you are an idiot and still want to order this, don't accidentally type in snuggLewraps.com , cause it's really creepy!

Dear men of Hollywood,

Please stop with the freakin' moustaches!

Flea better make a cameo!

HBO is developing a series based on Anthony Kiedis's childhood. Anthony is involved in the project, called "Scar Tissue" ("Californication" was already taken). There is concern over the content of show because in his autobiography, also called "Scar Tissue," Anthony brags about having sex with underage girls including actress Ione Skye when she was only 15.

An HBO spokesman said, "We did not buy the rights to his book, and we are not dramatizing the book. This project is focused on Anthony's life as an adolescent." The show will apparently focus on Kiedis and his drug-dealing and Sunset Strip hangin' father. So basically, it's "Everybody Hates Chris", but with rock stars and heroin.

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Step aside Matt, here comes Rooster!

One sexy bitch!

It seems now that they've (and by "they," I mean YOU E! Network) have given every C and D list celebrity their own reality show, it's time to start giving them out to anyone related to a celebrity.

Meet Rooster McConaughey (ok, his real name is Michael Patrick McConaughey). Yup, he's Matt's brother. Rooster's been living his whole life in the suck that it is to be Matthew McConaughey's brother.

But watch out world, because Rooster's got his very own reality show coming out soon! It's called Black Gold (remember that Soul Asylum song? That was a good song.) and it will debut on TruTV (the old Court TV) on June 18th. Mark Your Calendars! The show will be similar Deadliest Catch and it will be about Rooster and his friends who make their living on an oil rig and go down 10,000 feet below the earth's surface!

Oh wait a minute, Rooster doesn't actually do that. He supplies the pipes for the drills though! And, he's Matthew McConaughey's brother!! Oh and he has a son named Miller Lyte! That's more than Kim Kardashian's got going for her!

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Umaga for President!

That's all I have to say about WWE's Hillary vs. Obama wrestling match last night. Thank you Umaga! Bill was awesome though: "I did not have illegal contact with that candidate." I will also say that it's cool they got Will Smith to play Obama-his Rock impersonation wasn't bad.

In something I thought we'd never see though, the real Hillary, Obama, and John McCain actually did appear on Raw last night to read awkward wrestling cliche-riddled campaign speeches in an effort to pick up some votes. This is a strange, strange time. Remember when Bill Clinton was the only candidate to appear on MTV? Now it's normal to hit American Idol, SNL, and the WWE on the campaign trail.

Next week, be sure to watch Flavor of Love to see the Presidential candidates compete for your vote. "Just like Pumkin, I'll spit in the face of terrorists."

Lindsay Lohan is an artiste!

For anyone lucky enough to live in New York, Lindsay Lohan will be opening her very own art exhibit on Thursday!!

No, Lindsay doesn't paint. Or take photographs. Or know anything about art. Instead, the collection will consist of photographs, chosen by Lindsay, which "represent the mood behind her tattoos." That Lindsay is so deep!

Still don't get it?

Here's an example:

The "La Bella Vita" tattoo above her ass was the end result of a three day drinking binge which is represented here by this photograph of Jack Daniels:

If you are artsy (like Lindsay!) and would like to read even more into it, "La Bella Vita' means "beautiful life" and life sure is beautiful after some Jack! Or at least people look better. Better enough, in fact, for you to show them your ass and your exotic foreign language tattoo!


Lindsay also has the word "breathe" tattooed on her wrist in white ink:


Which would be represented by this photograph:

The similar color scheme is not the only link between the tattoo and the photo. The word breathe is very significant as well. One breathes through his nose, and snorting is a variation of breathing--one with added purpose. So it is very important to breathe correctly. Notice the placement of the word breathe on the inside of the wrist--that is significant as well because this way Lindsay can always be reminded of the importance of breathing right before she's about to dive right into some lines.

I never realized how artistic Lindsay was!

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"Springtime For Castro" anyone?

There are some people who you can never tell if they are joking or not. Michael Moore is one of them. You think he's joking, but you never really know for certain.

He's gotten himself in the news this week after declaring that he has invited retired Cuban president, Fidel Castro, to the Oscars on Sunday. Moore's recent documentary, Sicko, featured a segment on Cuba's universal health care system.

Moore issued the following press release, "I got some great news today because I was trying to figure out how I was going to get Castro into the Oscars and for me he resigns today so he can come to L.A. and go as my guest and perhaps give the acceptance speech. As long as he keeps it under five hours. I'm telling you, that's got to be a ratings grabber. Can you imagine him? Showing up? If I could talk to (Oscar producer) Gil Cates and maybe get Castro in a dance number at the beginning of the show? Great."

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The reunion everyone's been waiting for!!

First Van Halen,

Then Led Zeppelin,

and now:

GREEN JELLŸ!!! (or "Jello" - if you're not afraid of Bill Cosby)

GREEN JELLŸ have reformed and are in the process of booking a national tour this summer (that means state fairs!)!!! They will also re-release their "Cereal Killer" and "333" videos/albums on DVD for no apparent reason.

Remember "little Pig, little pig, let me in?" That was 1993. FIFTEEN years ago! Fuck!

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Here's a name for you: DOUCHE

Guess what kids? SeanPuffDaddyDiddyJustDiddyCombs is changing his name again.

Whoeverthefuck heis says, "I have always evolved and taken a different name each time. It's nothing unusual where I come from. Right now I want to be Sean John because that's where I am."

Where exactly does he come from where people change their names all the time? The Social Security office?

Prince wasn't this annoying when he changed his name to a symbol!

I swear, I'm just going to call him Douche from now on.

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Indiana Jones and the Dumbass from Oklahoma playing a Dancing Russian Soldier

PAGE SIX reports that one of the dumbass extras working on the new "Indiana Jones" film is in big trouble after revealing some of the movie's top-secret plot points in an interview with his hometown paper.

The entire cast and crew of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" had to sign non-disclosure agreements by order of both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg (yeah,two people an aspiring actor really should NOT piss off) But "dancing Russian soldier" or maybe I should say "former-dancing Russian soldier" Tyler Nelson didn't quite understand that.

In an interview with Oklahoma's Edmond Sun newspaper Tyler revealed the followign spoilers:

* Indy, played once again by Harrison Ford, and the Soviet army are both searching for a priceless skull made of crystal in the jungles of South America. (well in Tyler's defense, you can get that much from the title)

* The Russians take Indy hostage and then blackmail him by threatening to kill his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son, Marion Ravenwood, portrayed by Karen Allen. Cast as the son is Shia LaBeouf.

* Cate Blanchett plays an evil Russian who grills Indy. "I saw Harrison Ford strapped to a chair and being interrogated," Nelson told the paper. Word is this one's false and that Nelson simply mistook Harrison's Acorn Stairlift for a set prop.

*There is no opening number by Kate Capshaw. (BOOOOO!)

Spielberg's spokesman, Marvin Levy, would not confirm or deny these spoilers but did say in response to Nelson: "Who knows whether that particular person will ever work in this town again?"

In too little too late news, Page Six contacted Nelson who said"No comment. I'm not supposed to talk about it."


Asshat Hollywood, however, was able to get a comment out of Tyler. We caught up with him on his way out of a meeting with the man below. When asked how he felt about everything, Tyler responded, "My heart is broken."




We have also learned that the role of the dancing Russian soldier has been recast with Chris Crocker.

Jen's dating a model - Angelina's buying a new orphan - Brad's kicking himself

PEOPLE reports that Jennifer Aniston is dating a new guy. His name is Paul Sculfor and he is a British model and former boxer and construction worker..

He even got a recommendation from a former girlfriend, London socialite Lady Victoria Hervey, "He's a lovely guy. A gentleman. Simple things, like opening doors, he does all that. He'll think of the woman before himself."

Meanwhile in Brangelinaland:




Crazycatlady Angie is planning to adopt yet ANOTHER child. This time it's an orphan boy from the Czech Republic. She met the boy at a Catholic orphanage during filming of her latest film called Wanted.

Bartender, please cut her off!

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This sucked a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-asssss

My dearest Blake,

Please tell me this was bad on purpose because you don't want to win and sign away your life to the evil 19E.

Because if that's the case? Well done.

Love,
Me

UPDATE: First of all, Get your act together YouTube!! I posted this yesterday !!

Anyway, so we all now know that Blake is safe as Lakisha went home last night. No surprise. Blake could fart on a snare drum next week and he'll still make the top two. Sorry dude!

It isn't possible for her to get any stupider, is it?

Here's Paris. In the driver's seat of a car. YESTERDAY.

Dumb skank! She didn't even bother trying to disguise herself or anything.

I think that warrants another 45 days, how about you?

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UPDATE 5-10 - OK, apparently Paris gave someone a BJ and is now allowed to drive again.

Dumb Idea Alert

RealityTvMagazine.com is reporting that British author Tony Cowell(aka Simon's brother) has landed a deal for a show called “Publish My Book!” (aka Book Idol) in Britain and is pitching to US networks.

I don't know about you but I am superexcited about this!! What a fantastic idea!! This is sure to be edge of the seat, nail-biting television! I hope they have theme weeks like on American Idol! Picture it! Edgar Allen Poe week! Charles Dickens week!! Danielle Steel week! They hit the nail on the head with this one!! This is just what the kids want!! They'll break voting records for sure!