Showing posts with label Ashley Simpson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashley Simpson. Show all posts

Monday, March 9, 2009

For the love of Kimberly's wig!



Is nothing sacred? Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has reportedly signed on to star in the upcoming Melrose Place remake on the CW.

Ashlee will play "a small-town girl who arrives in Los Angeles with a big secret." How original! Whatever could this big secret be? That she had a nose job? That she doesn't really sing live? That this show is gonna suck?

I'm sure an Olsen twin will be cast next.

SOURCE

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

LEAVE JESSICA ALONE! SHE'S A SIZE 2 DAMMIT!



Ashlee Simpson has posted a reaction on her blog to the recent critism of her sister's weight gain since photos of Jessica performing at a chili cookoff in horribly unflattering mom jeans last Sunday surfaced online.

Ashlee wrote:

"I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter."

Wait a minute... I'm all for Ashlee sticking up for her sister and all but did she just say that Jessica's a size TWO? Nobody believed it when Jennifer Love Hewitt said it and nobody's believing it now either! I guess there is a different standard for celebrities, since they all say they are a size two when they aren't.

Ok, listen. By insisting that you are a size two when you are clearly not totally negates the point you are trying to make about being accepted for the size you are! Why is this so hard for these morons to get?

And you know Ashlee is secretly loving this after all those years of being Jess's less famous, less pretty sister.
(You're all thinking it, I just said it!)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

SHOCKER: Ashlee's pregnant



"Hello PEOPLE? Joe Simpson here. Yes, Ashlee has confirmed her pregnancy.....What? No, ASH-LEE. Yeah...the other one...So the going rate for first photos of babies seems to be around 2 million these days right?...No, she's not having twins...well maybe, hmmm,is it too late for the embryo to split? It is? Well we can pray, I AM a preacher hahaha! Well, let's just say one baby then, one mil? FIVE THOUSAND???? Are you crazy? Wait, what if I can get Jessica and Tony Romo in the hospital room for the delivery?? I'll even get Tony to cut the cord."

SOURCE

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

PEOPLE is FIRST!!!

Of course, PEOPLE got the first photos of Ashlee and Pete's fantasy wedding! And look! They even got a couple shots of Jessica and Tony Romo's fantasy relationship.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Hey little sister, Shotgun!



Did you hear?!! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got married on Saturday. And she's pregnant!

The couple wed in a sunset ceremony at Papa Joe's home in Encino, CA. The ceremony was non-denominational. Jessica was Ashlee's maid of honor and poor Tony Romo still has to pretend to be her boyfriend so she wouldn't look totally pathetic. Pete's bulldog, Hemingway, served as ring-bearer to add some beauty and class to the event.

Also in attendance: Nicole and Joel, the members of Fall Out Boy,
Scrubs actor Donald Faison along with girlfriend, CaCee Cobb (Jess' former assistant)

Ashlee wore an ivory Monique Lhuillier gown and the bridgesmaids wore Vera Wang.

Wolfgang Puck, catered the event. No word on whether anyone has since been diagnosed with hepatitis A.

And finally, according to OK!, a source said Ashlee revealed at the reception that she was indeed knocked up.

SOURCE

Friday, April 18, 2008

"Only time will tell..."

We don't need any time to tell us that Ashlee Simpson is milking this stupid "is she or isn't she pregnant" thing for all it's worth. She was on the Today Show this morning to promote her new album...oooohhhh, now I understand...

When asked if she was pregnant Ashlee responded, "That's been going around for a year now," she replied. "Only time will tell with that. I am giving birth to my new record."

The album is out next Tuesday, hopefully we'll stop freaking hearing about it then.

SOURCE

Thursday, April 10, 2008

They are registered at Hot Topic



Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged! Do we care?!!!

They released the following statement on FriendsorEnemies.com:

"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.- Ashlee and Pete "

No word whether or not Ashlee plans to lipsync her vows.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ashlee and Pete are not downloading a baby



Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have denied that Ashlee is pregnant following a parody video the couple made on the website friendsorenemies.com .

In the video, titled "World's Greatest Assholes" (my my, aren't we full of ourselves?) Pete talks about the illegal downloading of music problem and how he wants to make something that can't be illegally downloaded- A baby! Then the camera cuts to Ashlee lying on the bed eating Cheetos. ( I think they're reenacting the conception of Sean Preston Federline. ) Thankfully, the video ends there. Then they say the the release date is July 08. Get it? Those pranksters!

It was obviously a joke, but the couple want to make sure everyone knows that. Or they want to make sure everyone sees the video because they are really proud of the comic geniuses they are. Hey guys, next time: YouTube!

What is with all these celebrities making viral videos lately? Has anyone seen the Miley and Mandy show? (Disclaimer: Clicking on the Miley and Mandy link may cause maniacal rage and Asshat Hollywood is not responsible for any injuries or deaths that may result.) It used to be an outlet for nobodies like this guy to get their 15 minutes of fame. But the celebrities just won't let that be without getting in on it too.

SOURCE

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Upgrade?

Ashlee Simpson is now a redhead. She looks good. Take note Lohan!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Pete: "She's just a fuckfriend"


Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz totally dissed rumored girlfriend Asshat Simpson in an interview in Rolling Stone magazine. Pete said, "Maybe in a different universe, we'd be some hot couple, but not in this one." He then added, "I'm attracted to creative people and train wrecks, and there's no shortage of that in Los Angeles."

I don't get it, she definitely qualifies as a trainwreck, she's probably not a creative enough trainwreck.

BTW- He totally ripped off that "different universe" line from
Singles.

PAGE SIX:

Saturday, December 30, 2006

MARRIAGE!


Congrats to Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox who married yesterday in LA. Nikki is not sure if she is going to take Mohr as her last name or do some combination of the two. May I suggest Nikki Mohr Cox?

Everytime I see Jay Mohr I can't help but think of the lipsynching show on MTV about ten years ago called LipService. That show was awesome.