Catching up

Sorry, sorry!! I know I have a habit of taking a few days between posts.

So let's get caught up on what's gone down so far in 2009:

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell had twins and named them Dolly and Charlie, neither of which are sheep nor male.


I'm sure everyone has heard the sad news about the passing of 16 year-old Jett Travolta. The death was determined to be the result of a seizure.
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In happier news, Alyssa Milano has announced that she is engaged to agent David Bugliari.
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BUT,

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her fiance Ross McCall have split up.
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Another rumored-to-be troubled couple, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a second daughter yesterday, but have not yet released the name.
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We finally got to see the Rock of Love Sharon Osborne/"model" (HA!)Megan catfight:

Staged or is Rodeo psychic (for knowing to wear waterproof pants)? You be the judge.

Fight at the Rock of Love Charm School reunion, and it's not Heather!

On Rock of Love Charm School a few weeks ago, Megan Hauserman was expelled after she kicked Brandi M. Host Sharon Osbourne told her she just would not tolerate violent behavior.

However, what Sharon didn't mention to Megan at the time was that the no violence rule did not apply to her!

At the RoL Charm School reunion special taping Saturday night, Megan insulted Sharon by telling her that she was "only famous for managing a brain dead rock star." Oh snap!! (Oh Megan, you poor, dumb, slut. That may very well be true, but you never, EVER say it to Sharon's face!) That was it. Sharon reportedly jumped up, ran across the stage and grabbed Megan by her hair and beat her ass down. Security had to separate the two. Megan went to the hospital the following day and was seen exiting wearing a sling. She also filed a report with the LAPD.

Megan is next up to star in her own VH1 reality show called Trophy Wife (Christ, make this shit stop!) in which she searches for love with a sugardaddy. She may not need one after this is all settled.

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Rock of Fake

The Rock of Love reunion airs this Sunday on VH1, but just in case anyone was wondering if Bret and Hombre are still (or were ever) together, it's pretty safe to assume from her latest MySpace post that they aren't. She's even denying that she slept with him at all:

Hey guys! Well, I was so fearful of the finale and how it was all going to be edited. While I watched the finale, I relived all of those emotions I experienced in Cancun. I cried, I got mad and I cried again....especially at the end. I actually thought VH1 edited the show beautifully. They edited it pretty much exactly how it went down, specifically regarding the dialogue between Daisy and I. So, what you saw was what really happened.

Here's a question I get a lot: "Did you sleep with Bret?" Well, listen, sometimes you gotta make things look more intimate. When the cameras were gone, I'm not gonna lie, I totally made out with him. I mean, can you blame a girl?? We had fun! But, we also talked a lot and he told me these hilarious stories...Bret is just too dang funny. We spent quality time together which when all the cameras are gone....is just nice. Did I spend the night? No. I wanted him to be rested for his date the next day and I actually thought I was going to see him again before elimination, so I left. If you watch the footage, take a look at my hair & makeup when we're saying goodbye. It's just a little 2 perfect for a night of hot, passionate sex. Wish I could give you more seedy details....but that was it.

Another question I get a lot: "Are you mad at Daisy?" ok at the time I was very hurt but so was she. We were in a very intense situation and we handled the stress in different ways. We talked after the reunion show and hopefully we can move on....I'm def willing to.

"How did I feel when he asked me to be his Rock of Love?" elated, relieved, happy, tearful, faint....haha. You name it and I felt it. I was so happy I just can't articulate exactly how I felt. I think you can see in the footage that I was overwhelmed with emotion and truly happy. I will always cherish that moment. OH! Something that you guys didn't see. At the end, he gave me a present. It's a necklace with a beautiful dark silver cross pendant with black and white diamonds....gorgeous!

Well, I think that's it. Stay tuned for another blog after the reunion show airs....I'll talk more about things that happened as well as Bret and I.

Luv ya guys!

xoxo

Ambre

Other things I learned from Ambre's Myspace : Ambre has a straight-to-DVD horror movie coming out soon where you can choose whether or not she gets killed and she lists her age as 99 years old. Way to finally be honest Ambre! Now just freaking spell your name right!

AMBRET!

So Bret chose age over beauty last night on the finale of Rock of Love 2 when he made Amber---I mean Ambre, his tv girlfriend and sent Daisy flying home from Mexico. (She actually flew herself by flapping her arms up and down--pretty impressive!)

Speaking of the lovely and eloquent Daisy, Metal Sludge has put up part two of their interview with her and it's even better than part one! She gets in some good digs at Bret, but she's very classy and always knows when to hold back (especially when talking about her beautiful lips).

Metal Sludge: What was the grossest thing that any of the other girls did during filming that we didn’t get to see?
Daisy: Ok seriously I shared a room with Destiny, Jessica, and Meghan. And Destiny liked to go to the bathroom in front of everyone in our room.

MS: Which number?
D: All!

MS: All? (laughing)
D: All of the above and that to me was (pause) that was really disgusting to me. Because I like my privacy and she was definitely very (pause) the exhibitionist.

MS: So that was the grossest thing, her shitting in front of people.
D: Yeah.

MS: What was the grossest thing Bret did?
D: (laughing) Took his bandanna off.

MS: So what do you have to say about people saying you sound like you have a dick in your mouth, or that Bret should pick Big John cause you’re all nuts?
D: That’s why I got my lips done, because I wanted dicks in my mouth.

MS: (laughter erupts)

D: I have nice DSL’s (dick sucking lips), dick pillows, whatever. And I guess I was just practicing then, if that’s what it sounds like. I guess I’m always practicing, always trying to better my dick sucking skills.

As far as Bret picking Big John over (pause) you know I am crazy. I’m not gonna lie you know I’m definitely (pause) crazy but that’s okay.

I think he could’ve already picked Big John many times. It’s not fair because Big John is always there, so he should give somebody else a chance.

MS: Have you ever been with Bret in a hot tub or shower, and if his hair gets wet does it smell like a horse hair blanket?
D: Yes. (laughter)

For the entire interview (more on poop, plus drugs and dildos) click HERE!

Can't wait until the reunion!! Here's a clip of the Heather/Daisy smackdown!:

Elegance!

I'm wigging out!! I can't understand why I can't find a damn screenshot of Bret without his bandanna from last night's Rock of Love episode!! The wig was gleaming! Fortunately, my searching wasn't for nothing because I stumbled on this awesome interview with the lovely and classy(and obvious winner--did you see when they showed the preview for next week? He was looking down when he said "you are my Rock of Love"--now granted, one of them could have been giving him a bj, but I'm thinking he wasn't talking to Ambre who is his height.) Daisy De La Hoya!

Here are some gems from the interview:

On her band: "If Madonna and Motley Crue had a baby, I guess it would be Daisy. "

On her ex(?) Charles: "When I met Charles he had suggested that I should do dancing. I think it was sorta something that I always thought was just gonna happen anyways. I don’t know (pause) sort of like pre-determined." What a guy!

On The Awesome Heather: "I think she’s the skankiest, crustiest, old hag stripper on the Planet. And I hate her. I literally hate her. All the other girls joking aside, you know whatever, but her, wait until you see the re-union show because (pause) I hate her. If we could tie Heather down, then I would definitely like to stab her in the eye with a stiletto. ....she’s like a big giant man. She’s a Bret Michaels wanna be. " But what do you really think?

On what other rock stars she'd like to sleep with: "The rock star who I’d really like to fuck his brains out would be Nikki Sixx. I don’t wanna make out with him. I don’t want any kissing involved. I just want to fuck him. No kissing, just fucking!" (Awww! Just like in Pretty Woman!!)

The whole interview's gold. Kudos to Metal Sludge for finally doing something interesting!


At first I was looking forward to the reunion mostly for Angelique, but it sounds like there's gonna be a Daisy/Heather smackdown and now I really can't wait!! Sorry Daisy, but I'm TEAM TATTERS all the way baby!

I bet it goes down like this: Bret chooses Daisy in the finale. On the reunion show, he confesses that during their separation after the show, he finally realized that Heather was his true Rock of Love. Daisy hyperventilates/grabs her boobs/cries/loses her fake eyelashes. Kristi Jo starts crying. Rodeo starts crying/laughing hysterically. Peyton jumps out and starts yelling "FACE TIME!!" Then Daisy yells, "Oh yeah? Well I DID fuck CC!!" Then Bret yells "Fine then. Take it CC!!" Then CC Deville comes out and plays a solo. Then Bret goes "No, take HER!" So then CC and Daisy go off together and live happily ever after--once Daisy's lease with Charles is up in 2012, that is. Then Ambre starts going on and on about how she has to lie about her age but her hip goes out right in the middle of her explanation. Then New York comes out just to remind everyone that she is still the HBIC and that she was the original VH1 star with artificial hair and you bitches better recognize! Then Bret compliments her on her weave and asks for pointers. She offers to take him to her salon. Bret then grabs the wig and throws it on the floor. The wig starts crying. Now it needs to find love. A VH1 producer gets an idea!

I mean, it's SOO obvious that's what happens!

Daisy is lovely

Speaking of Jack Daniels and cocaine, here's a photo from the Myspace of the beautiful and talented Daisy from Rock of Love. TMZ posted it today and I had no idea she was Oscar DeLaHoya's niece!!! Wassagoin'on with me? Daisy sang a heart-wrenching version of the national anthem on this week's show. Why doesn't Oscar have her sing before his fights?

If you ever get bored, a good way to pass the time is to look at the MySpace pages of the contestants of Rock of Love and Flavor of Love. I said a good way, not a productive way.

I call Daisy and Kristi Jo for top two!

Seriously, are these men?

So Rock of Love 2 premiered last night on VH1, aw shit, hang on........

BREAKING NEWS!! Britney made it to court!!


So Rock of Love 2 premiered last night on VH1 and I'm seriously wondering if jilted Heather had a hand in selecting some of this year's, uh, girls.

I know that last one is turning you all on most of all. Um, her name is Angelique, but the other contestants call him--I mean her, "Frenchie" because she is from France, or at least most parts of her are.

One awesome part from last night's show was when Daisy (second to last) was commenting on how awful Frenchie's plastic surgery was!! Eat your hearts out striking writers!! You can't make this shit up!

Another highlight was when one of the first to be booted girls said "I wonder if Nikki Sixx is single," as she walked off VH1 (but not out of our hearts).

If you aren't watching, you really need to be.

I can't wait for the reunion show!

So last night was the big Rock of Love finale and to noone's surprise Bret chose Jes, the 23 year old Gwen Stefani look-a-like over Heather, the 31 year old classic beauty/stripper.

Bret knew Jes was the one after she cried when he had a near-death experience due to his diabetus while Heather seemed to say "Screw your diabetus, I wanna drive in the dirt."

Well Heather is so pissed up to her Aquanet and she's not keeping quiet.

On her MySpace, Heather cries foul editing:

HELLO ALL,
FIRST I WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THROUGH OUT THE SEASON OF ROCK OF LOVE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EDITING PLAYS A HUGE PART IN TELEVISION, THAT'S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE INTERESTED IN WATCHING. I HAVE CRIED MANY NIGHTS OVER HOW SOME EPISODE PROTRAY ME. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN AND APPALLED THAT I LOOK SO INSENSITIVE IN THE FINALE. I LOVED BRET VERY MUCH AND HE WILL HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOREVER. IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART THAT THE EDITING MAKES ME LOOK SO INSENSITVE.ON OUR DATE IN CABO WHEN HE SAID HE WASNT FEELING WELL WE STOPPED AND I WENT AND GOT HIM SOME WATER..IT WAS HIM WHO WANTED TO KEEP RIDING TO GET ALL DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES. I WAS
FULL OF SAND AND WOULD HAVE LOVED TO JUST CHILL ON THE BEACH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THE MOST REAL, DID EVERYTHING I COULD FOR HIM---U GUYS DID NOT SEE WHEN I WOULD MAKE HIM BREAKFAST IN BED OR WHEN I BOUGHT HIM BALLONS AND ROSES ON HIS BDAY.. I WENT SHOPPING FOR HIM AND HIS KIDS IN CABO AND ACTUALLY SPENT OVER 1000 THROUGHOUT THAT MONTH., BECAUSE I LOVE TO GIVE AND ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.
NO, I WASNT THE SKINNIEST ONE OR THE PRETTIEST ONE, BUT I WAS HONEST AND GAVE HIM MY HEART. BRET SEES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYDAY OF HIS LIFE---REMEMBER TAMARA--BUT, ITS CHEMISTRY AND AN AMAZING BOND THAT IS HARD TO FIND.... WE BOTH FOUND IT AND ITS A SHAME ALL OF AMERICA HAS TO THINK THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST---I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT--AS IF THE STIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)--OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN.
I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THE TRUTH.
I DO HAVE A COUPLE THINGS IN THE WORKS, SO U WILL BE SEEING ME AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE
SINCERELY,
HEATHER

Oh Heather. First off - after a pole, spellcheck is a stipper's best friend. Please look into it. And secondly, don't waste your time crying over Brit. He's just jealous of your hair. Not to mention, I think it's quite obvious why he chose Jes:




I knew he always had a thing for C.C!

Oh, btw - rumor has it that Bret and Jes are no longer together (if they ever were in the first place) and that casting has already begun for Rock of Love 2.

Hey, it's better than Britney's latest song

Here's a treat for all you Rock of Love fans. Lacey (have you heard? She's a musician!) has her very own music video!!!

And it's every bit as awesomely craptastic as you'd imagine! Seriously, it's right up there with Why Must I Cry.

Enjoy!

I wonder who Otis is.

Oh god, this is like that movie Citizen Kane, you know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled.................

Whoa, I wasn't prepared for this and almost choked on my wine!! Bret Michaels on tv without a bandana or hat? Yup!! On last night's Rock of Love, Bret ended a decade-long mystery and bared all---his hairline. Check it out:



Now the question is: weave, plugs, wig, or natural receded hairline? I have no idea, but here's an old picture for comparison. If there are any weave experts (any of the Charm School girls will do) please let me know.



I do kinda have to hand Bret an Awesome Person Award for having the balls to go through with the (literally) unveiling. And wearing awful pajamas at the same time too. Oh, AND while hooking up your penis to a machine that measures the hurt. Damn, he's just going all out!

But I'm sad that Tiffany was eliminated. Goodbye Tiffany, you sure did threaten us all with a good time.

A Star is Born

So who besides me checked out the premiere of Rock of Love starring Poison's Bret Michaels on VH1 last night?

You MUST, especially if you enjoyed Flavor of Love. This show has everything FoL had. 80's has-been bachelor? Check. Scary hoes? Check. Busted weaves? Double check! - Bret gets in on that one too! (not entering Bret's room unannounced is actually a rule! I think we all know why.) Oh and some girl even inherited Hottie's bicycle bell blink sound effect! It just doesn't get any better than this y'all!

The standout trainwreck ho so far is Tiffany (I mean, duh? Her name is Tiffany ) who, if you ever wondered what Ginger Spice would look like in 30 years if she kept the 1997 hair and clothes and adopted a daily regimen of drinking a 1.75 liter of cheap vodka and smoking three packs, ponder no longer!

So first Tiffany is kicked out along with four other wannabe groupies before even setting a hooker heel into the mansion. But then, in pure allegedly unscripted reality television fashion, bangs on the door and demands to be given a chance to screw Bret and possibly get her own spin-off show. So the bodyguard lets her back in. Of course she then proceeds to get wasted, make an ass out of herself, piss everyone off, all the while spouting off nonsensical babble that even Paula Abdul wouldn't understand (which is skillfully captioned for us by the those jokers in the control room). So come elimination time (btw- I totally called the backstage pass thing. Next I call Rock of Love: Charm School with Tawny Kitaen ) what happens? Surely she's blown her chance and will be sent home for certain? Nope, they keep her of course!! They don't even try to lie about why. Bret explains "You're entertaining." Awesome.

For a complete and fabulous recap, check this blog out:

I love you VH1!

They should call it Pout of Love

Lisa Rinna wants her lips back

It has been confirmed that Bret Michaels is indeed the 80's rocker looking for love on the upcoming VH1 show, "Rock of Love."

The press release is hysterical:

' Hot on the heels of VH1's record breaking hits, "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York," comes a fresh new take on this wildly exciting relationship show. Known as the bandana-clad ( lol ) , blue- eyed lead singer/songwriter from one of today's (today's?) legendary (legendary?) rock bands, Bret Michaels has been handpicked (the only one that would do it) by VH1 and producers Mark Cronin & Cris Abrego to take this series to all new heights of rock-n-roll insanity! The hard-rockin' Poison front man is looking for a woman who can truly keep up with his rock-n- roll lifestyle (um, he's what? 50?) and not become jealous of his one true passion -- performing, which has been the reason for and destruction of most of his relationships (either that, or they saw him without his bandanna). As VH1's hottest eligible bachelor (well yeah, when your only competition is Flavor Flav), a bevy of beauties (washed-up groupies or young girls trying to get an insta-career) will vie to win his heart (whatever money he has which can't be much since he's doing a VH1 dating show) in the new series "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" premiering in July. With twenty years of continuous multi-platinum success (two twenty year old albums that sold a lot in the 80's) sold-out tours and a couple of high-profile relationships that never led to the altar, Michaels is ready to wear his heart on his sleeve (or on his head for extra coverage). The series will focus on the never- before-revealed private side of Michaels ( Pam/Bret video anyone?). With that said, the casting executives have received an overwhelming (20) response from female fans of all ages (washed-up groupies or young girls trying to get an insta-career). Residing with Michaels in his (Vh1's rented) Los Angeles rock palace, these women will be tested on their devotion to him and their love and understanding of all that is rock-n-roll (they will be tested on who's the biggest trainwreck). To help narrow the field, Michaels will put these women through various challenges. The ladies who win these challenges will join Michaels on some wild (nothing too wild, don't wanna lose the bandanna!) and exclusive excursions, while those who can't hang like true backstage VIPs will be escorted out in bona fide rock star fashion. '


Don't get me wrong, I'm superduper excited about this! In fact, if it had been C.C. I would have auditioned myself (he ruled on Surreal Life). I bet that instead of clocks, Bret gives out backstage passes.

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