Donald Trump says Clooney is "short" and St. Angelina is "no beauty"

Oh no Donald Trump!! You haven't been in the news for awhile so what are you going to do?

Insult Rosie O'Donnell? Again?

Nah, beyond played out.

Talk about the new season of the number 1 hit show The Apprentice?

Oh, wait. Never mind that one too.

Get into another fictional feud with Vince McMahon and make wrestling fans suffer through it for months?

For the love of Snitsky, fuck no!!

Uh, ok. How about insult a couple random big celebrities for no reason?

DING! DING! DING!


Donald Trump has recently declared himself an expert on beauty and sorry George Clooney and Saint Angelina, you guys don't make the cut.

Trump recently told Larry King, "One of the perceptions I had of George Clooney was he was this big, strong guy. And he was very little when I met him."

On Angelina he had this to say: "Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not - I do own Miss. Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."

Hey Donald, I do own a muzzle. I do own duct tape. I understand relevance, and you are not.

By the way, has anyone checked in on George and Angelina to make sure they are not on suicide watch?

SOURCE

(Yeah, I realize I sorta, almost, kinda defended Saint Angelina. Mark today's date, because it won't happen again anytime soon.)


Meanwhile, Trump's first ex-wife Ivanna (58) will marry 35-year-old dancer and model Rossano Rubicondi. The couple is planning to wed at Donald Trump's Florida estate. Ivana told the New York Daily News, "I feel great. We've been together five years."



Now I ain't sayin' he's a gold digger.

Marks!

I can't believe the "Battle of the Billionaires" at Wrestlemania 23 this Sunday is actually making national news. It cracks me up that some people actually think there's a chance in hell Donald Trump may "lose" and end up having to shave that bird's nest off his head.

PEOPLE ran the following quote. On the possibility of shaving his head, Donald said, "It reminds me of when I was in military academy many years ago – my head was shaved, so I guess I'll have to do it a second time. I think there are a lot of people that would like it very much."

And yesterday TMZ posted a clip of the Wrestlemania press conference in which Trump slapped Vince McMahon after the ol' handshake fake-out.

But all the publicity is exactly what they both want. However I don't think it's gonna translate into non-wrestling fans paying $39.99 to see.

Billionare Hair Bet

Donald Trump made an appearance on WWE Raw last night to continue the feud with Vince McMahon. He challenged Vince to a match at this year's Wrestlemania on April 1st. Vince counteroffered to instead have each of them find a wrestler to represent them and fight. Donald accepted that offer, but added, “But let’s make this a little more interesting. As you know, I have quite possibly the most famous head of hair in the world, and for years, people have questioned if yours is even real! “At WrestleMania, if my guy loses, you can shave my head. But if your guy loses, I’m going to shave your head!”

The rumor is that Trump's wrestler is going to be Stone Cold Steve Austin in a rare return to the ring. Vince's will probably be Eugene, cause you know there's no way in hell Donald Trump is going to shave his head (even though he really should).

SOURCE

Donald vs. Vince BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING!

WATCH IT HERE

So Donald Trump made an appearance via satellite on this past Monday Night Raw. He began a feud with Vince McMahon by one-upping him on "fan appreciation" night and dumping thousands of dollars of [real] cash on fans in attendance. I hope at least some of those fans were the same ones that had to pay to watch the awful Donald vs. Rosie fight a couple weeks ago. They deserve their money back! Expect this publicity stunt to drag on until Wrestlemania.

SOURCE

Make It Stop!

The Donald and Rosie war continues and now they have some support.

On the Today show Madonna said (in a faux British accent of course): "People are giving Rosie a hard time. I wish they'd stop. I don't think it's fair." Madonna also said she emailed Rosie to find out what was going on. "I have to hear it from the horse's mouth." (I'm sure Donald is delighted with Madonna's choice of words.)

Meanwhile Donald Trump told the New York Times, "I just got a congratulatory call from Star Jones."

I think Rosie gets the point for this round.

tmz

More Catfightin' with Donald, Rosie, and Babwa

Round 300

So Rosie and Babwa bashed Trump on the View today.

TMZ gives a recap: " Rosie opened the show, sneering,"He's at it again," referring to Trump's open letter to Rosie yesterday, in which he recounted a conversation with Walters wherein she supposedly called Rosie a "pig" and essentially gave Rosie her walking papers. Just after Barbara took her shots at Trump, whom they couldn't bring themselves to call by his name, Ro and Babs reaffirmed (at least on-air) their professional relationship ("We're both OK?" "We're OK"). Then, they engaged in a deeply galvanizing, team-building high five with Joy and Elisabeth, whereupon Ro took one final parting shot at Trump, exclaiming, "His show tanked!" (referring to "The Apprentice's" tepid Sunday debut) and quickly changed the topic."

Donald responed with this statement: (click to enlarge)

I'm beginning to think they are all in cahoots with each other to get ratings for their shows.

Ok, it's really getting old now

Somehow [/sarcasm] ET Online managed to obtain the following letter the Donald Trump wrote to Rosie O'Donnell:

"Dear Rosie,

I hope you had a wonderful vacation with your wife -- you needed the rest.

An article in today's New York Post indicates that you blew up at BARBARA WALTERS for being a 'liar.' Actually, I don't blame you, but in fact she lied to both of us! After your maniacal and foolish rant against me two weeks ago, Barbara called me from her vacation (I did not call her) in order to apologize for your behavior. She had heard that I was going to retaliate against you and tried to talk me out of it. She very much wanted me to go on the show as soon as she got back so that she could 'patch things up' (I said no). To be exact, she said that 'working with her is like living in hell' and, more pointedly, 'Donald, never get into the mud with pigs' and, 'don't worry, she won't be here for long.' Barbara knows exactly what she told me over the phone and she has to live with it. Perhaps that's why her initial statement was so mild!

In another incident, when I saw her eating at Le Cirque about two months ago and asked how 'Rosie was doing,' she sarcastically rolled her eyes and said 'Donald, do you have to ruin my meal.'

In any event, you have a good reason to be angry. Please give my warmest regards to Kelly!

Sincerely,

Donald J. Trump

P.S.

I was surprised that you let your spat with Barbara get into the newspapers, but, as I have always said and as you proved with Rosie, the magazine, you are very self destructive. You must work on this for your own good!"


Deja Vu? Donald?


I don't know about you but I'm getting sick of this whole thing. I never thought I'd say this but, PARIS, BRITNEY, LINDSAY, WHERE ARE YOU?

More Fun With Rosie! Now With Baba!

From PAGE SIX:
' January 9, 2007 -- THE tension between "The View" creator Barbara Walters and co-host Rosie O'Donnell, sparked by O'Donnell's feud with Donald Trump, boiled over yesterday morning when the portly comic called Walters "a [bleeping] liar."

The fight started around 8:30 a.m. when Walters, back from a two-week vacation, walked into the hair and makeup room at ABC studios and tried to hug O'Donnell, whom she hired onto the popular show.

According to spies, O'Donnell recoiled from Walters' touch and yelled, "You kept me in the newspapers this whole time!"

Both "View" producer Bill Geddie and Walters tried to calm O'Donnell. Walters told her, "I did everything I could to squash the story" - prompting Rosie to scream, "You didn't call me for 10 goddamn days, and you didn't tell me what you were going to say on television!"

O'Donnell is fuming because Trump went on Larry King two weeks ago - after she had called Trump a "snake-oil salesman" - and said Walters told him she regretted hiring O'Donnell. Trump also blasted the comic as "a horrible human being and a loser."

During her vacation, Walters issued a carefully worded statement saying, "I'm sorry there is friction between Donald and Rosie. That said, I do not regret for one moment my choice to hire Rosie O'Donnell as the moderator of 'The View.' "

After O'Donnell's outburst at Walters yesterday, Geddie jumped in and told her, "You've crossed the line." O'Donnell retorted, "Cameras are now outside of my house where my wife and kids are." She turned to Walters and said, "You went all around this and never called [Trump] a liar. You never said, 'Donald is lying.' You never called him a liar."

When Walters tried to defend herself, O'Donnell erupted, "Are you looking me in the face and denying you didn't tell him you didn't say this? You're a [bleeping] liar."

Cindi Berger, a rep for both Walters and O'Donnell said, "Whatever happened in the hair and makeup room was hardly a squabble. It's business as usual, everyone has moved on." '


Sure sounds like business as usual at the View! This is better than Springer! I vote they hire Star back and lock her Rosie, Baba Wawa, Trump, and Tara Conner in a room together. With cameras of course. Hell, throw in Elizabeth Hasselbeck too.


Speaking of Rosie and Donald, as promised, here are some pictures from last night's RAW. As predicted, they used celebrity impersonators. "Rosie" looked and sounded a lot like her, "Donald" not so much. But you know it sucked when the best character was Fudgy the Whale. It could have been funny, but was really lame. You can watch it here.

Rosie eating Fudgy.
Really, couldn't they have thought of something other than the obvious fat jokes?
Maybe Donald Trump wrote the skit.

Cool wind effect on the hair though.

Donald wins after nailing Rosie in the face with Fudgy.

Oops, how'd that get there? Edge still puts the hurt on my penis (it's gonna catch on, you wait!), even with a tore-up face!

Ok, ok, I promise, no more wrestling posts for a while.

Speaking of the WWE:

Now that the K-Fed thing is played out (even though he may become a permanant fixture on Monday Night RAW, see below) Vince McMahon is desperately trying once again to gain mainstream news exposure by attaching his organization to a media circus.

The following was posted on wwe.com:

' WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has never been so proud to present live on Raw the “match” – Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. “This is the equivalent of Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H, Stone Cold vs. The Rock, Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant,” McMahon said.

Using his vast influence, Mr. McMahon contacted both parties last night and both agreed to meet in the ring to settle their issue once and for all.

When reached for comment, Trump was characteristically blunt. “I don’t back down from a challenge. Rosie may host The View, but the only “view” she’s going to be seeing is me beating her butterball ass.”

Miss O’Donnell could not be reached for comment. Sources say she was consulting with her personal physician about possible gastric bypass surgery.

From Hollywood to Wall Street to the Nation’s Capital, the scorching hostility between The Donald and the Entertainment Queen will have all eyes on the USA Network tonight. While no one knows who will win, one thing is certain: EVERYONE has an opinion.

Barbara Walters, Rosie’s co-host on The View, was adamant in her opinion, saying “I’m 100 percent behind Rosie. Donald Trump claims I can’t stand Rosie but nothing can be further from the truth," Walters continued. "Just because she’s brash, opinionated, steals the spotlight from the other women on The View, belches without covering her mouth and leaves the toilet seat up… come to think of it, I hope Trump wipes the floor with her. That way maybe he can tell her what I’ve been dying to - You’re Fired!”

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was reached for comment, and he stated “I can relate to both Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. I mean, I’m overweight AND have bad hair. I see this match as a draw.”

Kevin Federline, a celebrity who has experience in the squared circle, had another opinion entirely. “All I know is, I hope Rosie has the decency to wear underwear.”

And Paris Hilton had a unique perspective entirely. “Wrestling? Is that like where the people fight each other? That is sooo barbaric. That’s what the dinosaurs did. Dinosaurs are stupid. What was the question again?”

The hype and animosity of this issue has reached unprecedented heights, all the way up to the President of the United States. When reached for comment, President Bush said, “I just hope this match ends definitively and soon. There’s nothing worse than a conflict that lasts and lasts with no end in sight and no clear exit strategy.”

With the nation’s appetite clamoring for resolution, Mr. McMahon’s plan to bring these media titans together is being hailed as a promotional stroke of genius. “THIS is what America is all about,” the Chairman of WWE said. “Two out of control egomaniacs beating the holy hell out of each other. It will be brutal, it will be ugly, it might even be disgusting but it will be LIVE Monday Night at 9 p.m. ET on USA’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW!” '

Ok, well obviously the quotes (other than K-Fed and maybe Paris Hilton) are fake.

Vince alluded to this last week, so something's been in the works. Donald Trump is supposedly a friend of Vince's (their egos are rumored to have been separated at birth) and he hasn't been showing much class with this whole Rosie thing, so I wouldn't be that surprised if he made an appearance, but my guess is they will have look-a-likes. Too bad, I'd like to see the real ones join the Kiss My Ass club.

I'll let you know tomorrow. Between this and I Love New York (thank Jesus for my DVR) this is one night of high quality television programming!

More Donald Drama

FROM THE NATIONAL LEDGER:
Donald Trump had a banner week leading up to Christmas. The Real Estate mogul answered Rosie O'Donnell's attacks on Miss USA Tara Conner and also slammed the round mound of put down in a variety of ways, hitting her with a barrage insults and even saying he could steal away Rosie's lover Kelli Carpenter with one of his 'friends.'

Now Radar Online takes the opportunity to again drag up nude photos that they allege are of Melania Knauss and publish them with the query: "Which of The Donald's many "friends" possesses the lesbian know-how, killer bod, and romantic cunning needed to seduce Rosie's lady lover, Kelli?"

The photos were spotted in some magazine called Celebrity Sleuth (in issue 35 no less) and Radar reports that the mag had run two full spreads of nude and near-nude pics of Melania, the future Mrs. Trump, in various stages of lesbianic embrace, which it claimed were taken during her modeling days in the late '90s.

At the time Radar reports that they had received word from the Donald that these pictures were not of Melania.

No matter - the online pictures are again posted at Radar, and are definitely of a striking brunette solo and with a friend. Are they of Melania Knauss, the wife of Trump? The shots copied from the magazine are far from any high resolution shots, so it's a tough call.

PICS HERE- NOT WORK SAFE

Negotiations are currently underway to determine if Melania will lose her title as Mrs. Trump.

The Hair vs The Mouth

So the latest asshats feuding are Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.
Here's the rundown:


On Wednesday, "The View" co-host Rosie O'Donnell expressed her dismay over Donald Trump's news conference with Miss USA Tara Conner, saying it had annoyed her "on a multitude of levels."

The real-estate mogul countered on "Access Hollywood," saying he would sue O'Donnell and have someone seduce her girlfriend.

The following are excerpts from their tit-for-tat comments:

O'Donnell on Trump:

"This young girl, Tara Conner, how old is she? 20? 21. She went out and she was partying. She's from Kentucky. She went to New York and she was hanging out at all the parties, doing what Paris and Lindsay do — you know, dancing, whatever.

"And so he held a press conference on whether or not she was going to retain her crown.

"And then she started to cry, going 'I just want to thank Donald for giving me a second chance.'

"And there he is, hair looping, going 'Everyone deserves a second chance. I'm going to give her a second chance.'

"He annoys me on a multitude of levels. He's the moral authority? Left the first wife, had an affair, left the second wife, had an affair. Had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America.

Donald, sit and spin, my friend. I don't enjoy him. No, no, no, no.

He inherited a lot of money, wait a minute, and he's been bankrupt so many times where he didn't have to pay. ... I just think that this man is sort of like one of those, you know, snake oil salesmen in 'Little House on the Prairie.'"


Trump on O'Donnell:

"Well Rosie is a loser. Rosie’s been a loser for a long time. Her magazine failed. She got sued. She folded up like a tent. It was too bad.

"Everything about Rosie, and I watch her — and actually somebody sent me a clip of what she said — Rosie is somebody out of control who really just doesn’t have it. And she ought to be careful cause I’ll send one of my friends to pick up her girlfriend, and I think it would be very easy.

"Rosie’s first show had very poor ratings, and at the end she was doing very badly because the public got tired of her, and Rosie is somebody you get tired of.

"But her show did very poorly. Her magazine, I think it was called Rosie, was a total failure. Rosie is a failure.

"Ultimately she will be a loser and you watch. Watch what happens to 'The View.' I will bet the ratings very shortly will start going down. People can’t stand watching her. She’s both unattractive inside and out. She’s got some big problems.

"Well you know what, I’m worth $5 billion plus — by a lot. And Rosie said Trump went bankrupt. I never went bankrupt. She’ll say anything that comes to her unattractive mouth. She said I went bankrupt. I’m worth much more than $5 million.

"She said lots of things. She said the Miss USA pageant was the small sister to Miss America. Miss America was thrown off the air. It’s on cable. It’s on a small cable network. And the Miss USA is getting great ratings and most importantly, it’s on network television. It’s on NBC.

"So she says things that come to her mouth. She’s not smart. She’s crude. She’s ignorant, and to be honest, I look forward to suing Rosie.


"I’m going to sue her and I look forward to it. She’s really very dangerous for the show. Now the people on the show don’t like her, the people that watch don’t like her and let’s see what happens.

"She’ll find out. She’ll find out. Rosie will find out what we’re suing her for. She knows what we’re suing her for. It’s something I look very forward to. ...

"In the case of Tara I wanted to give her a second chance and I thought it was important and somebody like Rosie doesn’t take it seriously because Rosie doesn’t have sensibility.

"Well look, Rosie is a very unattractive woman. I’m saying something. I’m not a politician so I’m not running for office so I can say it. I’m mean, Rosie is a very unattractive woman but as unattractive as she is on the outside, she’s even worse on the inside, and she’s very lucky to have a nice girlfriend.

"I think you better hold onto your girlfriend Rosie because if you lose her, you’ll never be able to get another one."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.
SOURCE

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But wait!! There's more!!

FROM TMZ.COM

Rosie O'Donnell shot back at Donald Trump this morning on "The View" -- with nothing more than a piggy-ish face.

Fitting, perhaps, since "pig-faced" was just one of the adjectives Trump used to describe Rosie yesterday after their public slapfight exploded. Against expectations, Rosie chose not to get in the ring with the Infamously-Coifed One, making only passing reference to The Donald.

Pointing out the presence of her partner Kelli in the studio audience, Rosie said, "I was afraid to leave her home in case someone with a combover [ahem] came and stole her from me."

And that was that. Meanwhile, Donald vented on "Good Morning L.A." Is Rosie now taking the high road, or has she been silenced? Her rep says she's has no additional comment.
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Got all that? I know, they're not as skilled and it's not as fun as Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay. "Pig-faced" is no "firecrotch," but oh well, it's a slow gossip day so it's something to talk about (exactly as the Donald wants you to)

Hey Fox Network, I smell a "Celebrity Ultimate Fighting" special in this, how about you? You can even get O.J. to ref!