Who even watches commercials anymore anyway?

Heinz made news this week when it pulled the above commercial for mayonnaise featuring...OMG!!! two men kissing! The company reportedly received a whopping 200 complaints after the spot aired. They pulled the ad and apologized to anyone who may have been offended.
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In a related story, another commercial recently spread online (this one actually legitimately offensive). It was for JC Penney and showed two teenagers rushing to get dressed after having sex:


Calm down everybody, Jamie Lynn Spears doesn't have her own teen maternity line at Penney's. The commercial was created by an advertising agency and submitted to the store, but JC Penney claims they never approved the ad and are "furious" over the attention it is bringing to the store--which hasn't gotten attention since...well, ever. Yeah, ok, whatever you say JC Penney.

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Here to comment, please welcome the Geico Caveman.

Welcome!

"What's up?"

So I'm interested to hear your take on all these controversial commercials, being in advertising yourself. Do you think commercials have gotten out of control, or are we just being too sensitive?

"You know I come from a time before television. Back then, it took a lot of time to get information on a product out because there were no commercials. We had to go door to door, you know? Like when I invented the wheel..."

Wait, wait, hold up, YOU invented the wheel? Like, you personally?

"Did I stutter?"

No, it's just that's pretty impressive, that's all. Hey, too bad there weren't patents back then huh? Ha!


"Oh ha ha, yeah, very funny. Do you even know how much that sucks? Now look at what I'm forced to do. I'm an advertising gag and the star of a failed sitcom. I INVENTED THE DAMN WHEEL! If it weren't for me, there wouldn't be any cars. There wouldn't be any car insurance. There wouldn't be any GEICO!! It's so disrespectful it makes me sick!"


"I don't mean to barge in, por favor, but Ay dios mio!!! Give it a rest Caveman!!!! At least you still got a job! I had to hump a lot of legs to get that Taco Bell gig! I gave them best years of my life and then they just threw me out like the leftover pintos and cheese. Speaking of which, thanks to that place, I had the runs for TWO WHOLE YEARS ese! That's 14 years for me! Oh yeah, I dropped the chulupa alright.

Oh, and now Taco Bell wants 50 Cent to change his name to 79 cent and he wants to sue them. Did it ever occur to them to ask me? Hell, I'd change my name in a Nueva York minute! So I don't wanna hear your bitching or about your dumb wheel invention, which you probably didn't even really invent, it's just that there's no one other cavemen alive to dispute it!"

".........................."

Caveman? Anything to add?

".........................."

Um, ok then. Thanks to the Geico Caveman and The Taco Bell Dog.

"I am not the Taco Bell Dog anymore! My name is Rick James. Yeah, like 'I'm Rick James bitch'! Don't get me started on that one either. "

Random shit I found on YouTube

I totally agree with Obama on this issue:





This is begging for a disco remix!

Random shit I found on YouTube

Ever been so bored out of your mind that shit like this is fascinating?

Did you ever notice...

...how many shot-for-shot spoofs of the Journey "Separate Ways" video there were on YouTube? It's the new Rickrolling!









I blame the rising gas prices--this is what people are being forced to do with their time now that they can't afford to go anywhere.

I'd like to thank metalsludge for bringing attention to this epidemic.

Wow, everybody's bird crazy lately

Flippin' bird crazy that is!

Those two just need to fuck and get it over with.

Hey Madge, you missed a spot!

First Miley and Mandy remade (with choreography and a crew and everything)Madonna and Timberfuck's 4 Minutes video.

Now Madonna, who's apparently really bored, has posted a response telling everyone who is making YouTubes to her song, to "FUCK OFF!" Ok, she actually says "keep up the good work, but clean up afterwards", but Fuck Off would have been so much better. It's actually pretty funny to see her vacuuming in a designer gown and bling:



Yay, she's half-British again!!!


Madonna also has a message for Perez Hilton where she asks him to make a decision between her and "Teddy" who is either a dog or some gay guy with a back problem. Either way, I'd probably chose Teddy.:

Latest YouTube Sensation!

In case you haven't heard of Tricia Walsh Smith yet, you will. She's the crazy bitch who made a YouTube video after her bad, mean, husband filed for divorce and evicted her from their London flat. And she rules. She kind of resembles Pamela Anderson but with an English accent, smaller boobs, and CRAZY EYES!! Check it out, but grab a bottle of booze first and take a drink everytime she says "Con---DOM."

Who got it worse?

George Bush throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals home opener game?:




Or John Cena at the WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony?:

Better than Kristy Lee Cook

I was upset that no one sang "Hey Jude" this week on Idol, but then a friend found the above video and it's way better than any of those contestants could have done it (yeah, even David Cook!) I guarantee this will be the cutest thing you'll see all day!

I smell an Emmy!

Here's the first preview for Britney's much talked about guest spot on "How I Met Your Mother."

Personally I would have said it "Can we have sex and then GO shopping?" instead of "Can we have sex and THEN go shopping?" But I'm just so proud she remembered her line! Although it's not that much of a stretch, as she probably said that to Adnan at least a couple times a day.

Enjoy the 10 seconds!

Asshat Idol!!

Last night the American Idol top twelve performed Beatles songs on the NEWER! BIGGER! FASTER! HARDER! new set!!

Here are the high (and low)lights:


MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:



I'm just not sure if the award should go to Chikezie or Ryan Seacrest. I didn't even miss Danny Noriega because this was so amazing!




MOST AWESOMELY BAD PERFORMANCE:



John and George rolled over in their graves.
Paul and Ringo made a mental note to roll over in their graves .



YOU CAN'T NOT LOVE THIS GOODY-TWO SHOES BITCH!:



Yes, I cried, and if you didn't there's something wrong with you.



THIS GUY'S LIKE CRACK:



Every week I want more Cook(ies)! Last night, I think I may have wanted to have his babies. What the hell is going on? Is it the hair? Is there power in it like Sanjaya's?


WHAT HAPPENED?:



This is all the judges fault for declaring him the Chosen One!


GOING HOME:



David Hernandez (a.k.a: the guy on American Idol that was a stripper at a gay nightclub)performed this song last night, but I much prefer Tiffany's version. ( If David doesn't go home tonight, it will be Syesha. )



I was gonna post Jason Castro's, but then I got high.

Congrats Madge!

Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night in New York City along with John Mellencamp, Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen, the instrumental band the Ventures, and The Dave Clark Five.

(YouTube links won't work for some reason, so click on the text to view clips)

She was inducted by Timberfuck, who I begrudgingly have to give credit to, because he did a decent job (did we really need two Britney jokes though?).

Madonna decided to be from Michigan last night during her speech, though Madge creeps in every now and then.

Then Iggy Pop (who was snubbed by the Hall of Fame) performed. Um . And check out how the staged the backstage exchange between Iggy and Madonna looks!

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Everybody loves to sing Guns N' Roses!

Any why wouldn't they since GN'R are the best band EVER! They NEED a Guns N' Roses theme night on American Idol!! (and if they do, they need to bring back Danny Noriega!)

A couple days ago I posted a clip of Carrie Underwood getting her Axl on during a recent concert. Now here's Pink getting hers on--along with getting on the dude from Metal Skool or Steel Panther or whatever they're called. It's pretty fun but the best part is her face at the end when they tell her she's "way better than Ashlee Simpson."

Being on this show wasn't his most embarrassing moment?

Remember that MTV show about the up and coming singer (that never ended up coming) called Cheyenne? Me neither. But check out her stoned and dreaded boyfriend Jason! Where have I seen that guy before?

Funny how he's more famous now than she is.

For all you Castrates (it'll catch on) out there, he's shirtless at 1:47.

Unfortunately there's not a shot of him accidentally pulling out one of his dreads.

Holy shit- I guess I have to love this chick now!

Relax, it's not Danny Noriega again.

It is a former American Idol though:Carrie Underwood.

And she's taking on.... GN'R?

And not just one song, but two!

And it's awesome!

Want more Danny Noreiga?

This guy's quickly getting up to Chris Crocker YouTube status!

I can't help it, he's really growing on me. That rap is awesome!

I can't wait to hear what he does tonight!

I need more!!

Danny Noriega is punk rock!!!

This video of American Idol contestant Danny Noriega spreading some Christmas cheer surfaced today.

How did he know what I wanted for Christmas?!

Ashlee and Pete are not downloading a baby

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have denied that Ashlee is pregnant following a parody video the couple made on the website friendsorenemies.com .

In the video, titled "World's Greatest Assholes" (my my, aren't we full of ourselves?) Pete talks about the illegal downloading of music problem and how he wants to make something that can't be illegally downloaded- A baby! Then the camera cuts to Ashlee lying on the bed eating Cheetos. ( I think they're reenacting the conception of Sean Preston Federline. ) Thankfully, the video ends there. Then they say the the release date is July 08. Get it? Those pranksters!

It was obviously a joke, but the couple want to make sure everyone knows that. Or they want to make sure everyone sees the video because they are really proud of the comic geniuses they are. Hey guys, next time: YouTube!

What is with all these celebrities making viral videos lately? Has anyone seen the Miley and Mandy show? (Disclaimer: Clicking on the Miley and Mandy link may cause maniacal rage and Asshat Hollywood is not responsible for any injuries or deaths that may result.) It used to be an outlet for nobodies like this guy to get their 15 minutes of fame. But the celebrities just won't let that be without getting in on it too.

SOURCE

20 MILLION DOLLARS??!!!

Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. will reportedly receive $20 Million Dollars to fight Big Show at Wrestlemania 24 on March 30th!!

Damn, for 20 Mil, I'd have a 3-way with Snitsky and Hornswoggle!! Ok, maybe I'd do it for $50.

He apparently has no problem sharing the wealth. Check out the video from yesterday's Wrestlemania press conference. He looks legitimately pissed when the crowd starts chanting "De La Hoya!"

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Jimmy's response

In case you missed it!

Even though Page Six spoiled it, it's still pretty damn funny!