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Hey Bitches (any bitches even still there?),

So I'm back from an unplanned (and unwanted) sabbatical. Life really sucks sometimes, but no one ever said it wasn't going to.

You just have to deal with some things and always try to remember that no matter how bad things seem to be, there's always someone else in a worse situation. Yeah, it's kind of a selfish way of thinking ("this shit sucks, but at least it doesn't suck as much as what those other people are going through.."), but it makes you thankful for the positive things that you do have, and the most important thing you could have is hope, which I'm really thankful to have, because some people don't even get to have that.

So anyway, apparently I missed the most monumental event of the year.


Yeah, the birth of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt of course!

Speaking of, here's a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier about things sucking but other things sucking more for somebody else. Angelina and Brad's new twins being born sucks for Shiloh, who is now old news. However, it sucks more for Jennifer Aniston, who, for no matter how long she and Brad are divorced will continually be expected to comment on every development in Brad and Angelina's relationship for the rest of her life and will always have to say how happy she is for them so she comes off as the bigger person when she really wants to say "FUCK THEM BOTH, I HOPE THEIR MUTANT BABIES LOOK LIKE SLOTH FROM THE GOONIES!"



Nicole Kidman (above, post-birth) also recently gave birth to that tiny baby she's been carrying around. This sucks for her husband Keith Urban, because now he'll no longer have his wife to himself. However, this sucks even more for Nicole's other two (adopted) children, Connor and Isabella, because now they'll be down to only one photo opp with their mom per year instead of two.

See, how this works?


I missed yet another baby's birth..or is it baby giving birth? Jamie Lynn Spears popped out her little bundle of joy too! This sucks for Jamie, the father, their families, Jamie's career, Planned Parenthood, Zoey 101 fans, etc. But it sucks more for parents of teenagers who on top of trying to teach their children about sex and responsibility, will have to also explain what is wrong with a national magazine treating a 16 year old mother like a celebrity and paying her millions for a cover story.



In non-baby news, the long-awaited and much-hyped Batman sequel, "The Dark Knight" opened last night to rave reviews. This sucks for Jack Nicholson, who was reportedly pretty pissy in the past that he wasn't asked to reprise his role as the Joker for the film and is probably even more pissy now that everyone's going on and on about Heath Ledger's amazing performance. But it sucks even more for the costume designer from "Batman and Robin" who is now working at the Real Doll factory.


So when faced with something bad in your life, always remember: This shit sucks, but there's always somebody else going through suckier shit.

When did this happen??

We finally have a baby bump!

SOURCE

Connor who?

"Are they taking the picture?"

Nicole Kidman's rep told Usmagazine that despite her expressionless face, she is "really excited" for 13-year old adopted son Connor who is set to make his movie debut playing a young Will Smith in the upcoming drama called Seven Pounds. This was after they showed Nicole a photo of Connor and reminded her that he is her son.

Nicole added, "maybe one day my real baby will be in a movie too!"

(I kid, but you believed it for a second, didn't you?)

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What the hell happend to Nicole Kidman's face?

I will never understand why these dumbasses think troutlips are a good idea.

Nicole's Having a Kid-Man (fuck! TMZ came up with the same title!! )

Congrats to Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban who announced yesterday that they are expecting their first child together.

Nicole's publicist, Wendy Day, confirmed the rumors that have been circulating since the below baby bump photo surfaced weeks ago.

Wendy added, "The couple are thrilled." (I'm glad she added that, because if we had to go by Nicole's face alone we'd have no way of telling!)

SOURCE

Nicole Kidman in crash on the set of her new movie

CLICK HERE TO SEE VIDEO

' LOS ANGELES - Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman and seven other people suffered minor injuries on a movie set on Thursday after the car they were riding in crashed into a light pole, police said.

All eight of the injured, including Kidman, were taken to a local hospital for examination after the accident, which occurred at about 1am (9.00pm Thursday NZT), Los Angeles police spokeswoman Karen Smith said.

Smith said all eight people were released from the hospital and did not suffer major injuries.

The Los Angeles Police Department will likely conduct a routine traffic accident investigation into the crash, which occurred while a stunt driver was at the wheel of the car, she said.

Celebrity news program Extra reported that in addition to Kidman, the injured included three other actors, a camera crew and several stuntmen. According to Extra the accident happened during filming of the thriller The Invasion. '

- REUTERS

The following statement was released:

OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON KIDMAN ACCIDENT
There was an accident involving a rigged camera vehicle on the set of THE INVASION Wednesday night (1/24/07) in Los Angeles. Nicole Kidman was in the vehicle at the time of the accident and was taken to the hospital for evaluation. She was released shortly thereafter. No other actors were involved in the scene at the time of the incident. Two additional crew members sustained minor injuries as a result of the collision. The production took the appropriate steps following the incident to ensure the safety of the cast and crew. Production resumed Wednesday evening and Kidman will return to the set on Thursday, January 25.

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It is not known at this point if Brandy is responsible for this accident.
(I'm sorry, that was really tasteless, even for me)