Speidi to make it official on Saturday

Speaking of douchebags, the two talentless attention-whoring ones known as Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will reportedly marry for real this time this Saturday. No word on whether Spencer's creepy-flesh-colored beard will be the best man.

According to UsMagazine.com, it will be a sunset ceremony taking place at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena.

So anyone in Pasadena, please feel free to show up to congratulate the happy couple by throwing rice at them.

Bags of rice.

The big ones.



You could get them at Costco.

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Guess who may be getting married.........again

Stop me if you've heard this one - Pamela Anderson may be getting married again.

Rumors started after Pam's designer friend, Richie Rich (the hell?), told people at a party this week in Miami that he is working on designing her a wedding gown. Richie was quoted as saying "I already did one - we'll do another one" in response to a question about designing a wedding gown for Pam after she gushed about her boyfriend. He didn't mention if the dress would be white.

Pam is currently dating scuba diver (insert your own "going down under with an oxygen tank" joke here) Jamie Padgett.

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Ring in a box

Justin Timberfuck was recently spotted shopping for diamond rings at a jewelery store in New York, leading to speculation that he and girlfriend of two years, Jessica Biel, are going to get engaged soon.

There are even rumors that the two are already planning to wed this summer in Italy and are even looking at venues. A source told British newspaper Metro, "They both like the idea of marrying in Italy in the summer."

Well I say good for them. I hope they go on a really long honeymoon so we could get a couple weeks without a Timberfuck cameo on Saturday Night Live. I mean really, they should just put him in the opening credits. As if that show didn't suck enough.

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16.9 Billion? Oui!

Belated congrats go out to Salma Hayek and her billionaire babydaddy Francois-Henri Pinault who wed in a small ceremony in Paris this past Saturday (Valentine's Day).

PEOPLE will reveal details of the wedding in their new issue. Salma wore white, carried red and white roses, and said her "I Do" in French.

An attendee told the magazine, "The bride was extremely beautiful, even when she was crying tears of joy. They were extremely happy."

Salma,42, and Francoi, 46 (not a typo) have been dating on and off for three years and have a daughter together.

Ca-ching!

Catching up

Sorry, sorry!! I know I have a habit of taking a few days between posts.

So let's get caught up on what's gone down so far in 2009:

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell had twins and named them Dolly and Charlie, neither of which are sheep nor male.


I'm sure everyone has heard the sad news about the passing of 16 year-old Jett Travolta. The death was determined to be the result of a seizure.
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In happier news, Alyssa Milano has announced that she is engaged to agent David Bugliari.
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BUT,

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her fiance Ross McCall have split up.
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Another rumored-to-be troubled couple, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a second daughter yesterday, but have not yet released the name.
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We finally got to see the Rock of Love Sharon Osborne/"model" (HA!)Megan catfight:

Staged or is Rodeo psychic (for knowing to wear waterproof pants)? You be the judge.

Kelly Osboune engaged!

Now we know why Ozzy's doing those cell phone commercials. He has a wedding to pay for!

US Weekly reports that Kelly Osbourne is getting married! Her boyfriend, model Luke Worrall made the announcement on his Facebook page when he changed his online relationship status to "engaged to Kelly Osbourne."

The couple has been dating for six months. Kelly is 23 and Luke is 18. Kelly, you cougar!! At least unlike some people, he's legal.

Congrats to the happy couple who I'm sure will have a long, happy marriage!

Umarki

So while Ethan Hawke traded down (the old "bangin'the nanny" story), Uma Thurman traded up.

Way up.

She bagged a multimillionaire. They began dating last summer and now they're engaged. Uma's rep has confirmed the news. The rich Swiss guy's name is Arpad "Arki" Busson. He used to be with Elle Macpherson and had two sons with her.

Arki gave Uma an 8 carat engagement ring. No wedding date has been set.

Uma and Arki's names go together. It's a perfect rich couple name. Watch: "Bitsy? Hi dahling, it's me Mitzie. Uma and Arki have invited Grant and I to the South of France for a weekend on their yacht, so I won't be able to make the fundrasier dinner at the club. Pity, I so was looking forward to helping those starving children Oh, I know, wrap up our dinners and Fed-Ex them to them! Ok then, send my regards to Candi and Corbie will you dear? Tootles!"

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Newlyweds!

So as we have all heard by now Jessica Alba and Cash Warren had a top-secret wedding on Monday at the Beverly Hills courthouse! Forget Ashlee and Pete's stupid Alice in Wonderland themed fantasy wedding, THIS is the kind of stuff every girl dreams about for her big day!

Of course, PEOPLE got the first photos of the now newlyweds post wedding. Here they are at the Celebration of Mentoring Awards and Gala at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Cash and his friend were honored with a humanitarian award for producing the documentary Made in America about gang violence in L.A.


Archives Special: Shhh ... Top Secret Weddings!

PEOPLE is FIRST!!!

Of course, PEOPLE got the first photos of Ashlee and Pete's fantasy wedding! And look! They even got a couple shots of Jessica and Tony Romo's fantasy relationship.

Hey little sister, Shotgun!

Did you hear?!! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got married on Saturday. And she's pregnant!

The couple wed in a sunset ceremony at Papa Joe's home in Encino, CA. The ceremony was non-denominational. Jessica was Ashlee's maid of honor and poor Tony Romo still has to pretend to be her boyfriend so she wouldn't look totally pathetic. Pete's bulldog, Hemingway, served as ring-bearer to add some beauty and class to the event.

Also in attendance: Nicole and Joel, the members of Fall Out Boy, Scrubs actor Donald Faison along with girlfriend, CaCee Cobb (Jess' former assistant)

Ashlee wore an ivory Monique Lhuillier gown and the bridgesmaids wore Vera Wang.

Wolfgang Puck, catered the event. No word on whether anyone has since been diagnosed with hepatitis A.

And finally, according to OK!, a source said Ashlee revealed at the reception that she was indeed knocked up.

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NOT GETTING MARRIED!

Last week Kate Hudson was seen wearing a diamond ring in Boston, so rumors flew that she and on-again boyfriend Owen Wilson were engaged.

Turns out, the ring was for a movie Kate's filming called Bride Wars.

Her rep confirmed that non-news, "She's definitely not engaged."

So everybody calm your asses down.

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Congrats on your wedding Jenna!

You can finally change your last name!

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Still Married!!

10 days and still going strong!!!! You go Mimi and Nick!

Engaged

It was just announced that singer extraordinaire, Scarlett Johansson and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds are engaged! Scarlett's rep confirmed the news to PEOPLE.

Expect a baby announcement any day now. I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother.

Congrats to the boring couple!

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Married??

So apparently Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, who have only been dating for two months, got married on Wednesday! The story broke when a source close to Nick told Latina.com that the couple wed in a small ceremony at Mariah's home in the Bahamas and that it was "very implusive." So impulsive in fact that there was NO PRE-NUP!

I'm having a hard time believing that Mariah is that stupid not to protect her money, love shouldn't cost a thing. (Get it? Because Nick was in the remake of Can't Buy Me Love called Love Don't Cost a Thing.)

Hey speaking of Can't Buy Me Love, here's the African Anteater Ritual!!

Expect a divorce soon

Gwyneth Paltrow's mother, Blythe Danner, is speaking out on rumors that there is trouble in her daughter's marriage to Chris Martin.

She told PEOPLE, "Oh no! They are really happily married. They are together all time. The public just does not see them together. They couldn't have a better marriage."

She says the reason we never see Gwyneth and Chris out together in public is because "They get so inundated and it's gotten so awful now that they can't go out and enjoy themselves. If they were both out together they would just get so overwhelmed and not enjoy themselves. So they do it for that reason."

Huh?? If they go out together they will be overwhelmed and not enjoy themselves? Yeah, they are SOOO in love!! Thanks for clearing that up Blythe!

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They are registered at Hot Topic

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged! Do we care?!!!

They released the following statement on FriendsorEnemies.com:

"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.- Ashlee and Pete "

No word whether or not Ashlee plans to lipsync her vows.

DETAILS ON THE flowers at the JAY-Z- BEYONCE WEDDING!!!!!

Hey, wanna hear all about the flowers at Beyoncé and Jay-Z's wedding? Well Us Weekly's gonna tell you anyway!!

The mag scored an interview with Amy Vongpitaka, the owner of NYC's Amy's Orchids who said the couple ordered 75 boxes of white-and-cream-colored orchids. "It made the apartment like a heaven, like a palace." said Amy. " You walked in, and it was all flowers — everything white and creamy." She also said she only had one week's notice for the order of the 750 pounds of flowers.

I gotta sit down. Too much excitement!! Good thing they didn't get an interview with the caterer or I'd really lose my shit!

Us also has details about the actual wedding in their upcoming issue including Beyonce's two gowns, their first dance song, celebrity guests, and the 5'8" cake (oh please tell me, Beyonce did one of those horrible cakes model after herself!!)

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So are they???

There hasn't been any official confirmation yet from Beyonce and Jay-Z's camps on their rumored wedding yesterday, although PEOPLE seems to have jumped the gun (probably so they could say they were the FIRST! to report it) and said it happened. Their source, a "friend," said "It happened earlier this evening. Jay wanted it to be a really private affair – close friends and family." Among the guests: Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin.

TMZ had a live stream up yesterday from about 5 to 8, I watched about 10 minutes and all I saw were a bunch of over-anxious cameramen and two FedEx trucks. Too bad Beyonce didn't jump on one of the Fed-Ex trucks like in Runaway Bride--that would have been cool. She could have started singing "Independent Woman."

Anyway, now that they are married (allegedly!), there are already rumors that Beyonce is preggers. The LA TIMES thinks maybe that's why they rushed into marriage--you know, because they've only been dating for what? 15 years? They reference the above photo with Beyonce supposedly sporting a baby bump. Could be. Guess only time will tell. Hey, is that Spike Lee?

Wedding Day?!

I really hope Beyonce and Jay-Z get married today as rumored, because I'm really tired of hearing about it. First Beyonce was spotted wearing a diamond band on her ring finger last month and last Thursday the couple applied for a marriage license in New York City. The wedding will supposedly take place today in New York as well.

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To add spark to the speculation, Kelly Rowland posted this video on YouTube of her and Michelle Williams in an "undisclosed location." Those two look hammered and carry on for a while after that. See what you started Miley and Mandy Show?!