One engagement, one rehab, ok, who's having a baby?

Dennis Rodman's manager confirmed that he entered outpatient rehab this morning in Fort Lauderdale.

But since it's outpatient, he doesn't have to stay there or anything. Hopefully it will be enough to get the judge to go easy on him for (allegedly) beating up his girlfriend last weekend.

Good luck Dennis, you piece of shit!

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Not Pregnant (anymore)

TMZ reports that a source close to Jessica Sierra's family revealed that she is no longer pregnant, but would not give any further details. Jessica is currently on probation and after reaching a deal with the judge that she would complete a one-year stint at Dr. Drew's treatment center in Pasadena, California.

Sad, but probably for the best.

In related American Idol baby news, the public can also breathe a sigh of relief that Sanjaya Malakar has also not yet reproduced.

Who's IN and who's OUT!!!! (of rehab)

So here's the update on the revolving door of Celebrity Rehab (no, not that one)!

Amy Winehouse: Still technically IN rehab, with daily outings. OUT of the Grammy Awards because her passport was denied. She will perform via satellite from London though.

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Eva Mendes : OUT of rehab, but only temporarily. Her publicist said: "Eva is attending to some personal business in Los Angeles and intends to return to complete her treatment shortly." So it's ok if she has a little chippy, because Eva and rehab are ON A BREAK!!

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Kirsten Dunst: IN rehab. PEOPLE confirmed that Kirsten checked into the Cirque Lodge Treatment Center in Utah (the same facility where Eva is on the break from) and according to a source, Kirsten is "not doing well. People were pushing her to go in there but there was no intervention… She has been partying hard for a while and I'm sure the Heath Ledger thing put people over the edge."

Scott Weiland: IN rehab. Poor guy keeps falling to pieces. (That was lame I know.)

Velvet Revolver released the following statement:
"Following VELVET REVOLVER's performance last night [Wednesday, February 6] in Los Angeles, lead singer Scott Weiland voluntarily entered a rehab facility. Tonight's San Diego show at the House of Blues has been postponed; the rescheduled date for San Diego is [to be announced]. VELVET REVOLVER deeply apologize to their fans and thank them for sticking by the group."

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Miley Cyrus: NOT in rehab.



Yet.

Holy shit!! Remember her?

Remember American Idol Season 4? Of course you do! That's when we were introduced to America's still-reigning country sweetheart, Carrie Underwood. Oh, and remember when Bo Bice did that awesome a cappella number on the finale and then nobody bought his albums? And of course, how can we forget the daterape eyefucks of the fabulously douchy Constantine?

But how about Jessica Sierra? You may not remember her as well as the others. She finished tenth that year and hasn't really done much since.

Unless you count getting arrested for battery (she threw a cocktail glass at a bar patron's head) and cocaine possession back in April, that is. Take a look at her mugshot! It looks like one of those websites where they show what meth does to a person over time. She's only 22!

After pleading no contest to the charges yesterday in court, Jessica received 12 months of probation. If she successfully completes her probation, the charge will be removed from her record. (Unfortunately the mug shot will not)

Poor Jessica. Where's a disgraced C-List drug addicted celebrity to go in this day and age?

VH1 of course!! Jessica is going to be one of the contestants on VH1's newest celebreality show set in rehab for "stars" with drug and alcohol problems!! Cool! It'll be like Intervention, but with people we actually semi-care about! May we be so lucky to have Danny Bonaduce on that crapfest too?

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Lindsay has found love!!

Or at least a new bathroom partner. This week's lucky boy is Chesare Bono, as in Sonny Bono, not U2 Bono.

Yup Chesare is the 19-year old son of the late Sonny and Republican Congresswoman Mary, who must be so thrilled.

Lindsay and Chesare met in rehab and are rumored to be getting serious. According to a source: "Chez is telling pals that he and Lindsay have fallen for each other big time. They plan on moving in with one another just as soon as they get out of rehab. He is telling people they spend every moment they can together and lean on each other for comfort."

Oh Chez, you silly pathetic 19-year old. Just because Lindsay mounts you on the toilet doesn't mean that you are serious. I'm going to feel so bad for the kid when she dumps him soon for Richie Sambora.

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Owen Wilson attempted suicide?

Wow!! If I heard an actor was hospitalized after a suicide attempt, Owen Wilson would be the last person I'd think of.

But he was hospitalized yesterday afternoon in serious condition after an "incident" at his home in Santa Monica.

Regarding the incident, the Santa Monica police would only say that they arrived for a "medical assistance call" and that "a person was transported to a local hospital where they are being treated."

Star said the Owen was found by an undisclosed family member after slitting his left wrist and taking "an indeterminate amount of pills."

Star also reported that after stabilized, Owen would be transferred to another facility to "be detoxed."

Neither his reps or any family members would comment.

Damn!

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Promises Made, Promises Broken

Here's Lindsay Lohan spotted outside a gym near Promises, the rehab facility where she is currently checked in. Just like Britney, she got bored with the whole working on sobriety in seclusion thing and left for a few hours to "work out." Please, the only part of her body that is getting a workout is her left nostril.

It was also reported today that Lindsay is getting another hall pass so she can..wait for it, celebrate her 21st birthday at a NIGHTCLUB!

The doctors at Promises must have gotten their license from the same place as Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.

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Britney's Out!

She's all better y'all! Brit left Promises rehab center in Malibu late yesterday. Her manager, Larry Rudolph, said in a statement that she has successfully completed the program.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock....

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New Balls

Brit's not letting rehab stand in her way of getting her freak on. Last week she was letting that guy Jason Filyaw, um Fil-her and now she's playing "tennis" with another fellow recovering addict.

According to a source in Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Britney and her new male friend decided to play a game of tennis. Britney is allowed a little more freedom now she's been in the centre a while. The next thing they had sneaked off into the bushes and were getting pretty passionate. They weren't actually having sex but there was definitely some groping. We had to step in to separate them. They were told off. They're in rehab and relationships between vulnerable people aren't really encouraged."

Those rehab workers are such party poopers!

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Latest Rehabin' Celeb

Eddie Van Halen, 52, has entered rehab.

Janie Liszewski, Eddie's spokeswoman and girlfriend, released the following statement on his behalf:

"I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best. That's why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110 percent that I feel I owe you and want to give you."

Eddie then added: "Some of the issues surrounding the 2007 Van Halen tour are within my ability to change and some are not. As far as my rehab is concerned, it is within my ability to change and change for the better."

I like how he still got in a little implied dig at Dave at the end there. Good luck Eddie!

Robbie Williams pulls a Britney

Robbie Williams has checked out of rehab against doctor's orders a week before his scheduled release. He checked in to Cottonwood de Tucson in Arizona on February 13th for his addiction to anti-depressants, sleeping pills, and caffeine. His spokesman said "Robbie has completed treatment in Arizona and continues with an after-care programme in Los Angeles." His mother is a drug and alcohol counselor, so she is going to help him with the rest of his recovery.

I had no idea you can go to rehab for caffeine addiction! Although I have heard that sometimes an excess of caffeine can make you crazy and you start ripping off your skin.

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Well, I used to write O-Z-Z-Y on my fingers

So Britney left rehab for a bit to go to an AA meeting (I don't get it either) and people noticed that she had writing all over her hands:

' The 'Toxic' star, who hid her recently-sheared head under a brown wig and hat when she left Malibu's Promises treatment centre to attend an Alcoholics ' Anonymous meeting, shocked onlookers by revealing the strange doodles all over the backs of her hands. Flowers and the word 'Push' could be made out among the scribbles. A smiling Britney met with photographers and an eyewitness described the troubled mother-of-two as 'relaxed and in good spirits'. '


Hmmm, flowers and "PUSH" Maybe it is postpartum.

Also, I can't believe they let her have pens in there!

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Britney back in rehab..............again

K-Fed's lawyer confirmed through a spokesman that Britney has re-re-checked into rehab. He also said that the emergency custody hearing has been canceled because of this new development.

So does this mean that K-Fed was using his threats for good instead of greed? Could be. TMZ says K-Fed will immediately go to court seeking orders allowing him unquestioned full custody of the children if Britney ditches again before treatment is complete. TMZ also reported that Britney went to his house last night to see the kids and he wouldn't let her in. Wow!! This is a major face-turn for Kevin! (oh my god, I think that may be the first time I referred to him as "Kevin." Stop the madness!)

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Oops she did it again!

Brit checked out again
Then tried to get a tattoo
But the shop was closed

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Another Britney Haiku

Brit's back in rehab
Let's hope this time she stays there
More than just one day

Big MAC, Mc DLT, A Quarter Pounder With Some Cheese, And Some Poontang

While on her quest to attain adequateness, Lindsay is using her time (all 22 minutes a day of it) in rehab to think about the things that really matter in life: meaningless sex and Big Macs.


FROM US:
' Usmagazine.com has learned that Lohan, 20, who entered L.A.'s Wonderland rehab center on Jan. 18 to treat her addiction issues, has been sending bachelor-about-town Brody Jenner, 23, sexy text messages for the last couple weeks.

We've eye-balled one particularly flirtatious text-message that Lohan sent Jenner - former flame of Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad - last Saturday night in which the 12-stepper, among other requests, texted that all she wanted was "McDonald's and sex."

When asked by Usmagazine.com to comment on Lohan's textual pursuit, Jenner, who just signed a deal to be a spokesman for Scope mouthwash, said, "Sorry, dude. I don't text and tell." A rep for Lohan couldn't be reached for comment. '


What's stopping her from going out and getting it? She leaves every day to go shopping anyway!

Anyway, congrats to Brody on his new ad campaign. That was very smart of Scope to choose him, considering he's dated Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie, Lauren Conrad and now Lindsay.
We managed to get a sneak peek at the his first advertisement:

Lindsay's in Rehab!

Lindsay Lohan has finally checked into rehab. She released the following statement:

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

I wonder what the wake-call finally was. Maybe it's when she realized she was dating that disgusting skank Joe Francis.

Good luck to her! Here's hoping her sobriety lasts longer than a week this time!

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