Axl really did call the FBI

I'm loving all this Axl news lately! So now there is an actual FBI investigation into the nine leaked Guns N' Roses tracks that circulated online last week.

Kevin Skwerl, the blogger responsible for putting up the nine rumored songs from Chinese Democracy on the website Antiquiet.com last week, told Rolling Stone how he received a recent visit from the FBI.

Kevin told the mag that he was "ambushed" by two federal agents on Monday after he admitted to posting the songs on the blog. He claims he received the tracks from "an anonymous online source."

He said, "When I came back from lunch they were waiting in the lobby for me. It's a little creepy they know where I work."

Um, yeah Kevin, that's usually how the FBI works!

He was then questioned for 15 minutes. The agents asked to see the original files, but Kevin had already erased them after Axl's lawyers instructed him when they contacted him shortly after they appeared online.

No word on whether if in addition to the FBI, Axl also called the president, a private eye, or the IRS.

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Ripoff??

So there's this guy Andrew from a band called Creaky Boards who claims Coldplay's song "Viva La Vida" (that annoying one in the ITunes commercial that you think is U2 at first) is a ripoff of a song that he wrote. He even says the Coldplay lead douche Chris Martin went to one of his band's shows. What makes it even funnier is that the name of Andrew's song is "The Songs I Didn't Write." Judge for yourself. Here's the full version of Coldplay's song. Both songs suck ass in my opinion.


But both Coldplay and Andrew ripped off this awesome guy:



In related news, Ricky Martin has not commented on whether or not he too would like to sue Coldplay.

It's always the nanny

In case you haven't heard, Rob Lowe's got some nanny trouble.

It all started last week when Rob wrote on the Huffington Post that: "a former employee is demanding my wife, Sheryl, and I pay her 1.5 million dollars by the end of the week or she will accuse us both of a vicious laundry list of false terribles." He then preemptively filed a lawsuit against his nanny, 24 year old Jessica Gibson, along with two other former employees, for breach of confidentiality agreements and for spreading lies about the couple.

Now Jessica has pulled out the big guns (not Rob's-he did that himself. allegedly), hiring Gloria Allred and filing her own lawsuit against Rob and his wife Sheryl, accusing them of sexual harassment. She claims in the suit, that there were several instances from September 2005 through January 2008 (she worked for the couple for seven years)in which Rob exposed himself and inappropriately touched her, placing his hands inside her pants. You can read the court docs HERE.

Um, maybe it's just me, but if I was being sexually harassed by my rich celebrity (with a history of sex addiction!) employer, I sure as hell wouldn't wait over two years to sue his ass! Why all this time Jessica?

Let's find out from Jessica herself:



"Ummmmmm." Wow, thanks for clearing up that this is actually a case of a threesome gone bad!


THIS JUST IN: Jessica Gibson has filed a lawsuit against Gloria Allred claiming Gloria inappropriately touched her on April 15th during her Today Show appearance.

AND IN RELATED ROB LOWE NEWS: Rob has preemptively filed a lawsuit against Snow White, claiming that she is also set to accuse him of a vicious laundry list of false terribles, mainly this.

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EVER WANTED TO SMOKE TOM CRUISE?!

Ut oh, here comes another Cruise lawsuit!! This time Tom's got his lawyers looking into a new strain of medical marijuana which is being marketed as "Tom Cruise Purple." The vials also feature a picture of Tom doing his psycho laugh (see above). The pot is sold at licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California -----WHAT? There are licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California??? Hang on, I gotta open a new tab...www.expedia.com......

Ok, I'm back. So staffers at the clinics in California have been forbidden to discuss their "inventory" with the press but one source said, "I heard it's the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate."

OMG, how awesome would it be if they remade Reefer Madness (though the musical kicked ass!) with Tom Cruise as Ralph?? He's got the laugh already! PLAY FASTER!!!!



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Jessica Simpson Hates (and HURTS!) Fat People!

Jessica Simpson and Papa Joe have been sued by the owner of fitness video company Speedfit for Jessica's changing her mind about releasing an exercise DVD she made (and was paid for) back in 2005 when she was in her Daisy Duke shape. Jessica has banned the video from being released.

And because this DVD will not be available, there is NO hope for all the overweight people in America to lose those extra pounds!

Ever!

Good going Jessica, you meanie!

See, according Speedfit owner Alex Astilean, "They are hurting millions of fat people in America."

Simpson's spokesman replied with, "It's a legal matter that's in the hands of attorneys."

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Another false alarm

Earlier today there was news that Avril Lavigne was knocked up too. Like with the Pam rumor, this one also isn't true.

Avril's rep contacted PageSix.com and told them, "It's not true."

In true Avril news, a settlement has been reached in the lawsuit that accused her of plagiarizing her song"Girlfriend."

The Rubinoos, a rock band from the 70's, sued Avril, accusing her of stealing their song "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend." Compare the two songs here (Personally, I can see the similarity, but I thought the song sounded more like Tony Basil's "Mickey.")

The settlement is confidential, so the lawyer for the Rubinoos could not comment on the details. Which basically means, she paid them off.

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Dumbass lawsuit of the week

People are still trying to sue Borat! This time it's a man by the name of Michael Psenicska - he's the driving instructor that gave a lesson to Borat in the film. He is suing Sacha Baron Cohen and 20th Century Fox for over $100,000 accusing the producers of lying to him about the film.

Michael says he was told that the footage was for a documentary about "the integration of foreign people into the American way of life". He was paid $500 for his appearance. He also alleges he would not have taken part in the film if he had known it was a mockumentary comedy.

Bullshit, he's pissed because he only got $500 out of it!

20th Century Fox spokesperson Gregg Brilliant says tough luck, "He signed a release, and we have an agreement. Now, two-and-a-half years after giving his consent and more than one year after the movie was released, Mr Psenicska has decided to file a lawsuit, citing the financial success of the film, in spite of our agreement."

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Celebrity endorsements, lawsuits, and inner gay men

The very awesome Victoria Beckham told Page Six recently that she is sick of celebrities that slap their names on products such as clothing lines and perfumes and have nothing to do with the production. As you may know, Vicky has designed jeans lines for Rock & Republic and Rocawear, but she insists she is different because she was actively involved in the production.

On the endorsing stars she said, "There are so many - and I hate the word celebrities - clothing lines and fragrances, and most of them have nothing to do with it. I'm so camp! I'm a gay man trying to get out!"

There are actually two gay man trying to get out and it appears they are attempting to escape out of her chest!

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In related news, Teri Hatcher is being sued by cosmetics company Hydroderm for a complete refund of her $2.4 million endorsement deal plus $400,000 in expenses. Hydroderm says that Teri signed an exclusive endorsement deal in 2005 but his since cheated on them by endorsing at least 17 of their competitors. That makeup slut! One of the competitors, City Cosmetics, has a lip plumper that is a direct competitor to Hydroderm's lip plumper and Terri posed for pictures applying the competing product!

The lawsuit says: "Hatcher's name, image and likeness have been linked to so many competitors' products (at least 17!) that it is anyone's guess as to what product keeps her skin and lips youthful."

Oooh, oooh, wait,I know the answer!! BOTOX! Youthful though? A youthful corpse maybe.

Teri's legal representative has responded to the claims calling the allegations an "unjustified and public assault on Teri Hatcher's good name, reputation and celebrity." The statement continues, "Ms. Hatcher will respond swiftly and decisively by appropriate legal means to recover everything she is owed under her contract, as well as compensatory and punitive damages for Hydroderm's outrageous accusations."

Seems like Teri just proved Posh's point.

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Get in the Ring

So besides Britney's little trainwreck (anyone else tired of it yet?), and Kayne West being a crying little bitch, the other big story this week was the Kid Rock-Tommy Lee almost-brawl.

The possible source of the fight, Pam Anderson, was on Ellen yesterday. Pam wants to stay out of it and frankly doesn't really care because she has yet another man in her life (not that magician guy and not Rick Solomon)

Here's some of the interview from Ellen's show:

Pam: "I'm staying out of it."

Ellen: "Last time you were here you said they didn't get along?"

Pam: "Can ya tell? I actually left. As soon as I left, meow! They all went after each other."

Ellen: "Clearly you and Tommy are good friends? You have kids together and were sitting on his lap earlier."

Pam: "He pulled me on his lap and spanked my butt."

Ellen: "Was that okay or no?"

Pam: "Yeah, that was okay. What are you going to do? Boys."

Then Pam changed the subject and told a touching story about her latest penis. "I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love. It's so romantic. It's romance." (She actually has a pretty good sense of humor--I love that she embraces the slut image and doesn't try to go all Paris on us.)

So Pam wouldn't give a name but she confirmed that the dude is a professional poker player. She added "I'm not really engaged. I don't know what I am. We may never get that far. We're in love. This is nice."

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Meanwhile, the always well spoken Tommy Lee decided to chime in with his side of the story on his website:

' Yeah!!...here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the Mtv awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends......Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore (he loves and adores his lap? Well, yeah I guess if I were him, I would too)....and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!.....and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me.....and he's sitting with Miss HOT AS FUCK!!!!.....Megan FOX!!! So I go over and sit with P!! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance...."i apologize sweetie".....i had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect, ......back to the stupid-ness!!....so..... I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble...i stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say "Hey dude...What up"?? He punches me in the face.....well if ya wanna call it that!?....more like a bitch slap!.......Wuss!! Anyway....i go to knock this jealous no career havin country bumpkin the fuck OUT....and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ....security guards...NOT MINE at the Palms grab me and haul my ass outta the award show threatening me that if I move they'll break my arm......yeah whatever!!....my security guard Bruce grabs them and say's I got him....let go!!! So im fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner George Maloof......the rest is paper work and bullshit!... Anyway...... I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and Mtv for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!! '

"Kid Pebble" BURN!

Now Vegas comedian Jeff Beacher has proposed a a winner-take-all $1 million boxing match between Tommy and Kid. Beacher told PAGE SIX: "We all know that they are fighting over Pam Anderson. What better way to settle their differences then to slug it out in the ring!" Yeah, yeah, I'm not falling for this one, I'm still waiting for Vince Neil VS Axl Rose.


Tommy may want to consider taking the deal though because he won't be making any money on any Motley Crue tours anytime soon. Apparently he quit the band!

There is a squabble going on between bandmates Mick Mars, Vince Neil, and Nikki Sixx and Tommy's manager and business partner Carl Stubner. Mick, Vince, and Nikki are demanding 20 million dollars in damages claiming Stubner cost them the amount by persuading Tommy to turn his back on lucrative concert dates and concentrate his efforts in two reality TV shows (in case you're racking your brain, that's RockStar Supernova--yeah that huge band got their start on a reality show!! and Tommy Lee Goes to College, which judging by Tommy's above post, didn't seem to help so much.)

Tommy's management company released a statement that Tommy "recently informed Sixx and Mars, the shareholders of Motley Crue, Inc., that he was resigning from the band and his resignation was accepted."

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Damn everybody's fighting!! I think Jeff Beacher had the right idea, except let's make it a battle royale with Tommy, Kid, the other members of Motley Crue, Axl Rose , Kanye West, and 50 Cent with Pam as the special guest referee. Oh and Britney can perform the National Anthem.

Dumb Lawsuit of the Day

Remember that flop of a show called Armed & Famous where C-list stars underwent police training and rode along with cops on actual calls?

Me neither. Anyway Jack Osbourne has been named in a recent lawsuit filed by a woman in Indiana whose home was raided by mistake during a pursuit of a fugitive by the police unit (Jack included) and camera crew during a taping of the show back in January. The woman, named Lyndsay Clements, claims she was embarrased when footage of her handcuffed in her nightgown was aired. She is demanding 1 million dollars in the lawsuit.

I'm perplexed by this. Don't you have to sign a release to be shown on TV? Did they actually show her face or did they blur it like on Cops? Because if her face was blurred, no one would know who she was. Actually, even if her face wasn't blurred, no one would know because I'm pretty sure nobody actually watched that show. Of course, now everyone will know who she is. So yeah,way to go, Lyndsay Clements!

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Nasty Divorce Alert

Anne Heche's estranged husband Coley Laffoon filed court papers earlier this month seeking joint custody of their 5 year old son Homer. In the papers, Coley claims that Anne isn't psychologically capable of caring for their son. (Is he for real? We're talking about Celestia here)

Among examples or Anne's "bizarre and delusional behavior" and "poor parenting skills": she once didn't put Homer in a car seat, she often cusses in front of the child, and packed school lunches that Homer "did not like." (that part was suspiciously written in crayon)

Laffoon thinks he is much better suited as a parent because of his prior experience as a nanny and summer camp counselor and is also seeking for $33,000 a month in spousal support.

When reached for comment, Anne responded to claims with "ah ka fota tuna dunna!"

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Starlift needs a little patience... Yeahahhhh

TMZ reports that my boy Axl Rose and the other members of "Guns N' Roses" have been sued by a logistics company hired for their 2006 tour. The company, Starlift Logistics claims that the band owes them $107, 000 in unpaid bills for transportation and touring services.

When reached for comment, W. Axl Rose said in a statement, "It is a very complex payment. We are working on the finishing touches on the payment. We are planning on executing the payment in full by March 6th. It will be the greatest payment. We'll see what happens."

Did anyone even know he had a band?

"Damn you Bacon Brothers!"

FROM THE LA TIMES:

' Kevin Costner has sued a music promoter, claiming the company reneged on a contract to back the actor's fledgling music career.

Costner, 52, filed the lawsuit Tuesday in Superior Court. The suit accuses Mahee Worldwide Ventures Inc. of breach of contract and fraud. Costner is seeking damages in excess of $8.5 million.

Costner is the lead singer in the Kevin Costner Band, for which he also writes songs. He also has a company, Kevin's Music LLC, that manages his musical activities.

The lawsuit claims Costner's company and the promoter entered into a two-year agreement in January that would allow the actor's band to perform in as many as five concerts each year. Mahee also would create and maintain a Web site marketing Costner's band, the lawsuit said.

But Mahee has failed to hold up its end of the deal, according to the lawsuit.

"Defendants made numerous promises regarding their capabilities to promote Mr. Costner's music and (their) willingness to pay for the right to do so," the lawsuit stated. "Instead of following through on their promises, defendants continued to make false promises and ultimately disappeared ..."

An e-mail message left for Mahee was not immediately returned Thursday. '


So now Kevin's done with his fantasy of being a baseball player and now he wants to be a rock star?

8.5 MILLION? Delusional much?

In other lawsuit news

Two photographers are suing Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson for the laptop-throwing incident back in November on the set of the soon-to-be critically acclaimed Blonde and Blonder. In the lawsuit, filed Friday, the paps are charging Denise, claiming she physically and verbally assaulted them when they tried to take her picture. They are also accusing Denise and Pam of lying to authorities about the incident.

This is stupid. The only person who has any right to sue is the old lady who was actually injured when the laptop fell on her head! Unfortunately, when reached for her thoughts on the situation, the old woman was only about to comment with, "You've got mail!" and "DING!"

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Scott and Mary's hotel room falls to pieces

A Burbank hotel is pressing charges against Velvet Revolver/ex-Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland and his wife Mary for trashing their hotel room.

TMZ reports that Scott and Mary " ripped alarm clocks and phones from their sockets and threw them, made "dents and gauges" in the walls, and that there was even blood found on some of the linens afterward. (A picture taken at the scene shows a note attached to a trash bag that says, in Spanish, "with blood.") "

This all started when the couple got into an argument on Saturday. It got so heated that their two children, who were there at the time, had to be taken away by Weiland's assistant. The police were called. No one was arrested and there is no word on injuries.

I wonder what the argument was about. Maybe Mary told Scott the affected epileptic/Mick-Jagger dancing was getting out of hand. There's some pictures below of the damage, I was expecting a lot worse.

Hey everybody, where did Mary go?
Where did Mary go?
And where's my only cigarette?

Did you check the bathroom, the bathtub?
She sleeps there sometimes
Water cleanses, you know

Clean sheets, incense, a lots of fluffy pillows
Now soiled

You're just not roit to get any credit

A writer/producer named Sharlene Sullivan is suing Mark Burnett and CBS, claiming that she came up with the idea for the show "Rock Star."

FROM TMZ:
' Sharlene says that in 2002, she registered a show synopsis called "Rock Star" with the Writers Guild of America in which "lead vocalists for rock bands would compete and would be judged by well known musicians/rock stars." In the lawsuit, Sullivan claims she shared the idea with several industry people connected with both Mark Burnett and the rock band INXS. After receiving initial interest from those parties, Sullivan claims she was told to "abandon the project" and "write an unrelated treatment regarding transvestites." [So she's responsible for Flavor of Love!] Soon after, the suit claims, Mark Burnett claimed he created a reality show called "RockStar: INXS." Sullivan says Burnett knew that it had already been created. Now she wants Burnett, along with CBS, to fork over more than $2 million in damages. Calls to Burnett's reps were not immediately returned. '

You could check out the lawsuit here.


I gotta confess. I totally posted this story as an excuse to use that awesome picture of JD Fortune. Hurt. Penis...be right back.

Brandy Sued for 50 Million

' The parents of a woman killed in a freeway crash involving Brandy sued the actress-singer for $50 millionUS yesterday. The wrongful-death suit claims Brandy was driving recklessly when her Land Rover struck the back of a Honda driven by Awatef Aboudihaj, 38. The suit was filed on behalf of Aboudihaj Ahmed and Labridi Zohra in Los Angeles Superior Court. It comes a day after the California Highway Patrol recommended Brandy be charged with misdemeanour vehicular manslaughter in the Dec. 30 accident. '
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CLICK HERE TO SEE THE COURT PAPERS

In related news: How unfair! Brandy is a celebrity!
From TMZ:
' Black civil rights leaders in Los Angeles claim the California Highway Patrol has made singer/actress Brandy "a political trophy."

The Los Angeles City Attorney is deciding whether to file misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter charges against Brandy, whose Land Rover slammed into a Toyota on the 405 Freeway killing the driver.

Today, Najee Ali, leader of Project Islamic HOPE, said the CHP's recommendation to file charges against the singer "is unfairly targeting her for prosecution because of her celebrity." Ali told TMZ he is organizing an e-mail campaign in the African American community to put pressure on City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo to reject the case.

Delgadillo says "We will treat this case like every other case and treat it very seriously because someone died." '


Um, excuse me? Reject the case because she's a celebrity? What is this, the Vince Neil loophole? Does she think she's getting PUNK'D again? She's not even much of a celebrity anymore. Wasn't there a very special episode of Moesha where the lesson was to take responsibility for your actions?

She was pissed she didn't get a free car

Those accident attorney commercials they show during daytime television seem to be doing their job. A woman has sued Oprah's Harpo Studios with the ol' slip and fall claim.

Tayna Milner was an audience member on an April taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show and claims she was thrown down a flight of stairs when guests were told they could seat themselves. (Some production assistant has a sick sense of humor--could you imagine being in the middle of that shit? It would be like the Running of the Bull or the midnight buffet on a Carnival cruise ship!) She is suing for over $50,000.

In the lawsuit Tayna claims she suffered "sever [sic] and permanent injuries, " has not been able to attend to her "usual duties and affairs of life," and "will in the future continue to suffer pain and suffering and disability." Well damn, I sympathize with that! How can you operate a remote control and eat ice cream after you sever yourself! That's a lot of suffering to suffer! (Really though, if you're going to sue Oprah, you should really brush up on your English 101 first.)

Like Oprah gives a crap. $50,000 is like her annual dry-cleaning bill.

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