Kanye West doesn't care about white country singers

FUCKER
(sung to the tune of "Stronger")

Get lit, start shit, throw fit, just quit
Douchebag, loser, bastard, fucker!

Na-na-na-now they wanna kill me,
Cause I acted like a fucker
I seriously need to grow up now
And stop acting like a soreass sucker
Perhaps maybe I should have allowed
Taylor to talk a bit longer
Man, I’m regrettin’ it right now,
Hope my career don’t suffer

I need help right now,
Where’s my publicist now?

On the sauce tonight,
Was pissed that Beyonce lost tonight.
Jump up on the stage, I'm a douche alright,
Cuz I don't give a crap about being polite
Here comes, hey Taylor give me that award!
Damn, look at me, I’m a real famewhore
I suck ass, I’m immature,
Now nobody likes my rants anymore

How in the presence of greatness
'Can they boo at me? but nevertheless
This will be covered by all the press
That I’m bullying the country princess
Lost my head, went nuts, threw a fit,
It was worse than that time the guy from Oasis spit
Or that dude from Rage climbed up that sh*t
Can’t help it, phony, bein’ a dick
Pickin’ on chicks, later!

Na-na-na-now I blame Hennessey
Can that stuff be any stronger?
I gotta go throw up now
Can’t sit here much longer
I just don’t understand how
Everyone thinks I’m wronger
Than that Lady Gaga blood shit
Beyonce changed her number

I need meds right now,
Call the doctor right now.

I don't know if my date’s a man or not,
Wonderin’ that a lot,
Don’t really matter cause I think she’s hot
Or maybe that should be I think he’s hot
We like to go to Rodeo on shopping sprees
Then go home and check out the latest Glee
But if I had to choose, I’d choose me
.
Ain’t trippin', I'm caught up in my ego, a’ight?
I mean, look at me I’m God-like,
A mirror and KY for a good night
Singing with a vocoder on my mic
Ranting on my blog, CAPS-LOCKED keys I strike
Calling people SQUIDBRAINS and the like
Dressing like Steve Urkel on his prom night
All these things makin me a
Douchebag, loser, bastard, fucker!

Na-na-na- it’s all over tv
About how I’m a fucker
The bitches on the View are saying
“He’s got less manners than a trucker”
I just had a little outburst
This won’t last much longer
It ain’t like I’m Chris Brown
He probably would’ve clocked her

I need nap right now,
I need nap right now.

Seriously, what about that Lady Gaga?
And Pink exposing her ta-ta?
I think Russell Brand had a boner
Beyonce deserved that honor.

Beyonce deserved that honor.
Beyonce deserved that honor.
Beyonce deserved that honor.
Beyonce deserved that honor.

When auto-tune attacks!

Congrats Ashlee Simpson! You no longer have the worst musical performance in Saturday Night Live history!

Even more reason he's the Asshat of the Week

Apparently, being the voice of the generation, does not mean that you are exempt from getting arrested.

Kanye West was leaving a nightclub in the U.K. early this morning when he saw a paparazzo taking his picture. This prompted him to push the camera into the photographer's face while shouting, “Get the fucking camera off him!” Kanye was arrested three hours laster at his hotel. He was then released and has not been charged.

The man, Terry Blackburn, says he has been suffering with a cut face and bruising since the incident. TMZ obtained a photo of his boo-boo.

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Are you listening Axl???? Kanye is trying to steal your thunder!! Beating up people with cameras is YOUR gig! Do something!!!

Asshat of the Week

There's delusions of grandeur and then there's Kanye West.

In an interview, Kanye recently spurtled out this mouthful of verbal diarrhea:

"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice,. It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan."

Hey Kanye,

Oh sorry,

HEY KANYE!! LIL BOW WOW BEGS TO DIFFER! HE GOT THE MAGIC SNEAKERS, NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanye then went on to call out Timberfuck, claiming Justin's slacking off was his gain ( of being the voice of the generation):

"There were people who had the potential to do it but they went on vacation, so when Justin went on vacation I made albums. And it just came out to be that."

Ok, seriously. Everybody go out to Best Buy next Sunday and buy a copy of Chinese Democracy. Even if you don't like the band, do it for better good. We really need to stop this. Not having the number 1 album, will knock him down a little, you know? And even if you like Kanye, do it for his own good, because any more success and his head will explode.

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My dream come true!!!

So guess what? Kanye West has moved up his album release date to November 24th!!! That's right, the day after Chinese Democracy comes out!! Please please please let this turn into a feud!!

As for the reason? Kanye blogged: "I CHANGED MY ALBUM TO NOVEMBER SOMETHING CAUSE I FINISHED THE ALBUM AND I FELT LIKE IT.. I WANT YALL TO HEAR IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE."

But it looks like Kanye is picking a fight with the wrong person. On his blog today, Kanye posted a photo of Killers' front man Brandon Flowers with the heading "FRESH KID." Hmmm...that's random. Not! See, The Killers' new album has also been pushed up one day to Monday November 24th. (New releases usually come out on Tuesdays.)

No, no, no Kanye!!

Wait, let me rephrase that so you understand:

NO NO NO KANYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRANDON FLOWERS IS NO MATCH FOR YOU!!! IF YOU WANT 2 SPAR WITH YOUR TRUE THREAT, I SUGGEST YOU GET IN THE RING WITH ONE W. AXL ROSE... OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST AFRAID 2 BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'LL KICK YOUR BITCHY LITTLE ASS... LISTEN HERE AXL IS THE TRUE MESSIAH AND KING OF RANTS WHO THROWS TANTRUMS AND SHOWS UP LATE 2 SHOWS, NOT YOUR COPYCAT PUNKASS... LOOK FUCKHEAD , I SEE YOU STANDING THERE... YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL? WHY DON'T YOU JUST POST A PHOTO OF AXL WITH THE HEADING "STALE MAN"... I DARE YOU 2!!!!!!!! DO IT KANYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DARE YOU TO RISK INVOKING THE WRATH OF OUR LEADER... DO IT YOU PARASITIC HOMEFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT ON YOUR NICEST PINK POLO SHIRT AND THOSE ASININE GLASSES WITH THE SLOTS AND CHALLENGE MR. ROSE TO A DUEL LIKE YOU DID WITH 50 CENT... AXL'S MORE GANGSTA THAN HIM ANYWAY ... SEE AXL GOT SKILLS.. MAYBE YOU DON'T CONSIDER HIM A THREAT BECAUSE MOST OF YOUR FANS DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS OR THINK HE IS NO LONGER RELEVANT, BUT DON'T COUNT OUT ALL THE OLD ROCK FANS WHO ARE GOING 2 GO OUT 2 BEST BUY 2 BUY THE ALBUM THEY'VE BEEN WAITING 2 HEAR FOR WAY 2 LONG, ABOUT 2 HUNDRED YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE WARNED SQUID BRAINS....HE'LL KNOCK YOUR ASS DOWN 2 THE PAVEMENT....YOU STILL 2 CHICKEN? THAT'S OK, LUCKY FOR YOU, THAT CHICKEN COOP AXL BUILT FOR BUCKETHEAD IS VACANT, SO YOU CAN GO LIVE IN THERE... CHINESE DEMOCRACY STARTS NOW... SO TAKE THAT ONE TO HEART!!!

Round one! You're welcome Axl.

Come on, Fight!! Fight!! Fight!!

In related news, the new Ludacris album has also been moved up a day to November 24th. Wow, it's like they're all a bunch of women whose cycles synched up!

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BREAKING NEWS!!

KANYE WEST BEATS BEYONCE AT CANDYLAND!!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

KANYE WEST BEATS BEYONCE AT CONNECT FOUR!!

"Pay attention Grammys!"

I'm serious. Kanye West wrote on his blog that he's been playing the game to help him cope with the shocking death of his mother last November. I hate giving this guy credit for anything, but that's pretty cool considering those other easier yet self-destructive ways of coping that are out there.

So he said, "I would play this game for hours and hours ... It helped me zone out. But every now and then people would speak of this legendary Connect 4 champion ... BEYONCE!!! I had 2 play her." (Dude, two letters: T-O. It shouldn't be so hard for someone who's always referring to himself as a genius.)

So the two played on New Year's Eve at Jay-Z's club 40/40 in Las Vegas. Beyonce beat Kanye nine times. Kanye bitched and moaned over never winning anything. Then he knocked the game over and left the room vowing never to have anything to do with Milton Bradley ever again for the rest of his life.

Then he finally calmed down, came back, and managed to beat Beyonce (at the game!). He was so proud, he posted the above picture on his blog.

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