Ring in a box

Justin Timberfuck was recently spotted shopping for diamond rings at a jewelery store in New York, leading to speculation that he and girlfriend of two years, Jessica Biel, are going to get engaged soon.

There are even rumors that the two are already planning to wed this summer in Italy and are even looking at venues. A source told British newspaper Metro, "They both like the idea of marrying in Italy in the summer."

Well I say good for them. I hope they go on a really long honeymoon so we could get a couple weeks without a Timberfuck cameo on Saturday Night Live. I mean really, they should just put him in the opening credits. As if that show didn't suck enough.

SOURCE

Congrats Madge!

Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night in New York City along with John Mellencamp, Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen, the instrumental band the Ventures, and The Dave Clark Five.

(YouTube links won't work for some reason, so click on the text to view clips)

She was inducted by Timberfuck, who I begrudgingly have to give credit to, because he did a decent job (did we really need two Britney jokes though?).

Madonna decided to be from Michigan last night during her speech, though Madge creeps in every now and then.

Then Iggy Pop (who was snubbed by the Hall of Fame) performed. Um . And check out how the staged the backstage exchange between Iggy and Madonna looks!

SOURCE

Because movies starring real-life couples are so successful!

Oh yay! Timberfuck and Jessica Biel are reportedly looking for a movie to star in together.

A source said, "Justin is very keen to do a comedy while Jessica wants to do something grittier because she's concerned about her image." Oh right, because she's sooo hot. she wants to be taken seriously as an ac-tor.

I know what you're thinking and I am too. Please let it be a remake of Shanghai Surprise!! Box office gold!

SOURCE

PUH- LEASE

Timberfuck totally stuffs. That's like Spinal Tap type shit there.

SOURCE

Jermaine says Timberfuck is not hot

Jermaine Dupri has written an autobiography (sure to be a best-seller!) titled Young, Rich and Dangerous (this is an autobiography?). In the book Jermaine blasts Timberfuck for not sticking up for girlfriend Janet Jackson during Nipplegate.

He also puts down Justin's looks: "I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he's very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn't make his style interesting even when he's onstage. To me, he just doesn't look like a star."

Normally I'm all for a good Timberfuck bashing, but coming from Jermaine Dupri? This isn't even a case of the pot calling the kettle black, it's more like the troll doll doggie chew toy out in the shed taunting the kettle, but the kettle can't hear it because the troll doll is so far away. (Yeah, I have no idea what I'm saying.)

SOURCE

Three's Company

Check out this bizarre little gem of a picture. It's a rear shot of Jessica Biel, Timeberfuck (green shirt), and her (lady) friend at a Packers Football game.

Can you really blame Jess though? She probably liked having a real man handle her shit.

SOURCE

Timberfuck lives up to his name

Remember the most awesome episode of Punk'd?

Justin Timberfuck has come clean about the reason that two of his recent concerts in California were cancelled. Originally he claimed that he strained his voice after his performance at the VMA's, but there were rumors that the real reason he cancelled the shows was because he drank one too many wine spritzers at the afterparty (that would mean he drank two -- you know that's all he can handle.).

Justin revealed that he's a big fat liar at a recent show in San Jose when he said, "Certain bloggers said I cancelled because I was hungover and they were right… I was."

He must be taking lessons in pissing off your fans from his ex-girl Brit.

SOURCE

Britney grows hair / disses Timbers

Welcome back Britney's hair!! I like it. It's kind of Trailer Park Momma meets Ziggy Stardust. Go Britney!

In other Britney news, PAGE SIX reports today that Britney Spears shocked her ex Justin Timberfuck and producer Timbaland by backing out of recording the much-anticipated (and last chance at a comeback) duet with Justin at the last minute. Maybe she has issues with people with Timber in their names?

An insider said, "Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song. It's crazy. She's looking for a comeback, and this would have not only been a huge hit, but something she could have opened the MTV Video Awards with and really blown everyone away."

Another source added, "Listen, everyone is worried. In her mind, her album is done and she's done enough work . . . She's an easy target right now, because she's . . . sick. People like her are sick. It's like an anorexic who's sick in the head and needs help. She needs help. It's sad because what she's got - and we've heard it's like bipolar disorder - can easily be treated with medication, but she won't do it."

Insiders are concerned that without this song, her opening act at the VMA's will suck more than Michael Jackson's "Lifetime Achievement Award" acceptance, Paula Abdul's Vibeology number, and Guns N' Roses' comeback performance. Combined.

In related news, Britney's discarded wig has expressed interest in recording the duet with Timberfuck. Some of the extensions have also offered to sing back-up.

I think it could be big.

Girl Fightt!

The MTV Movie Awards just may be worth watching this year, and not just because the very awesome Sarah Silverman is hosting.

Page Six reports that people working on the show, which airs live June 3, are concerned about the fact that Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel are both scheduled to present awards and want to make sure they are kept far, far, apart.

Yes, this is all because of Timberfuck. (Still don't get it!) He's even nominated for his role in some movie no one saw called Alpha Dog (only on MTV).

A source said, "It's becoming a big deal because the girls both want very separate arrival times. Nobody knows who Cameron is going to bring, if anyone. But if Jessica walks with Justin, Cameron will want to bring a date. If Jessica goes alone, Cam will probably walk alone. It's a mess. Cam is used to being more high-profile than Jessica. But now that Jessica's dating Justin, she has more leverage. Cameron's looking a little unstable lately."

Remember when MTV punk'd Britney and Christina on the Video Awards and made them think they were going to be presenting an award to Eminem? They pussied out of course, but it was cool for a second just to see the looks on their faces. They should have Timberfuck and Jess come out together and present an award to Cameron. Then they could lower a steel cage and Cam and Jess could fight it out. Then they could tell Timberfuck that he didn't pay his taxes and they are going to take all his stuff away and he could cry like a little bitch. Then Jack Black could come out and sing a song during all of this. That would be awesome.

SOURCE

Future Ear Pollution Warning

Britney, Justin, and Paris in happier times

In news that would make Britney go so crazy, she'd shave her head all over again, Paris Hilton has claimed that she and Timberfuck will record a duet together.

She said, "I think we blend well and he says that he has something in mind for both of us. I can't wait."

Let's hope for everyone's sake he wasn't talking about a song because that would be worse than My Humps, You're Beautiful, Barbie Girl, and Screwed all rolled into one. Multiplied by infinity. Just to be safe, I'm gonna stop using Q-tips.

SOURCE

This is news?

"I'm bringing mucus back"

Well at least he's honest. Timberfuck recently announced to the world, "I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a bogey there then just pick it man!"

In other Justin news, this week he's dating Jessica Biel, again. A source said that the two were all over each other at a recent party. "If Jessica was talking to a group of girls, Justin would come over, kiss her neck and start making out with her." Of course this means he'll be back with Scarlett Johanson by Wednesday.

SOURCE

Celebrity Duet!

Ok, maybe Timberfuck isn't so bad after all. He's sort of putting his rep on the line to help Britney make her comeback by recording a duet with her! The song will be a remake of Marvin Gaye's 'You're All I Need to Get By', and will be produced by Timbaland.

Justin's part was leaked:

I'm all your star needs to rise.
Like a sweet honeydew, I took one look at you,
And it was plain to see,
you had on no panties. With your legs open wide,
I was glad you weren't my bride
I'll say a prayer for you
So you'll stop acting like a fool


SOURCE

Check that Coca Cola! Sounds like drunk-dialing

Britney Spears was overheard at Malibu's Promises centre talking to someone name Justin on a smuggled-in cell phone (if it's that easy to smuggle in a cell phone, imagine the drugs you could get in..BTW- I don't wanna know where the phone was hidden) and begging him to visit her.

A source said, "She was hiding in a closet and talking to a guy named Justin, probably Justin Timberlake. She was talking to him about coming to support her at a group Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on Wednesday march 7 in Santa Monica. She kept saying 'Come on Justin, please, please, please come!' She was begging him!"

Justin then hung up the phone and whined "Britney! Britney!! Britney!! Why is it always about Britney?"

SOURCE

Britney, Britney , Britney!!!

Justin doesn't care about Britney Spears.

This came from the National Enquirer magazine: so take it with a grain of salt, or a vegetable oil purge or whatever.

So a source said "Justin was coming out of his agent's office when a woman approached him. She scolded him 'Why won't you help her out? I've read she's still in love with you. Can't you just try?' "Justin exploded and yelled back 'Why does everyone keep telling me I have to take care of Britney? Britney, Britney, Britney! She's an ex girlfriend! Doesn't anyone get it? "'We're not together anymore. I am so totally over her!' "And he stormed off."

Justin then called his mom and cried and whined.

If it's true, I can understand where Timberfuck is coming from. He doesn't have to answer for Britney anymore. Although, he may be what set off the crazy. Plus, Cameron went a little nutty after he dumped her too, so maybe there's something to it.

SOURCE

Asshat of the Week

We haven't had an Asshat of Week in a while, so no better time than now since Justin Timberfuck provided this mighty assoriffic quote to MTV.

On Britney's shaved head he says:

'It was a smart choice, she is starting over, cleaning herself up. It was something you wouldn't expect most people to do, so she is taking a chance.'


SOURCE

Um, yeah! Smart!

I suppose I could give him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to say something nice and optimistic about his ex-girlfriend, but I'm not going to because he annoys the ever-loving shit out of me.

Cameron's nights out

So Thursday night rumored new couple Cameron Diaz and Djimon Hounsou were spotted "all over each other" at Hyde in LA. PAGE SIX reports ' They arrived around 1:30 a.m. and stayed for about an hour. They cozied up to each other at a table and left together in Cameron's black Prius. While Cameron was all smiles when they left, Djimon kept his head down, partially hiding his face under his cap." '

The following night Cameron and ex Justin Timberlake crossed paths at Whiskey bar in the Sunset Marquis Hotel. According to PEOPLE, Timberlake was hanging out with Martin Scorsese and about eight other people at a table inside the hotel's bar. (I really hope they were discussing making Dick in a Box into a feature length film) About 1 a.m., Diaz arrived and Justin got up and went over to her and they chatted quietly and friendlily.

This surprised me, I would have thought Justin would have a restraining order by now. What is it with this guy? It seems every woman he dates ends up nuts after they break up. I blame him for Britney. Forget about sexy, he's bringing crazy back.

But good for Cameron for getting with a real man. I haven't seen Blood Diamond yet, but I loved him in In America and as the doorman that tore up Kelly Taylor's fake ID on 90210.

I always thought he'd be more of a swallower

From STAR:

' While at the AOL gift suite in Park City, Utah, last week for the Sundance Film Festival, Justin shocked onlookers with an ever-so-icky joke to fellow suite-goer Christina Ricci. "Christina said to Justin, 'I'm thirsty,'" a source tells Star. "Justin responded to her, 'Come here, I'll spit in your mouth!" Ewww!!! (Fear not: Christina didn't take Justin up on his offer!)

The source also adds that Justin didn't want any employees from the suite bothering him, let alone fans! Wow, Justin is a closet diva! '


Ok, it could have been a hell of a lot worse than spit, but still... Forget Jessica Biel Justin, you should hook up with Pumkin!

Recent breakup? Do sports not drugs

So Cameron Diaz took off to Oahu with Kelly Slater to go surfing and forget about Justin.



Not to be outdone, Justin rebounded (hahaha! I'm so clever!) by playing some basketball with (former hook-up) Alyssa Milano and (where's Tony?) Eva Longoria:

FROM PEOPLE: ' After his Friday night concert at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Timberlake, 25, hit the Jet nightclub with his entourage, where he danced with Milano, 34, and chatted with Longoria, 31. At 4:00 a.m. the whole crew headed to an after-after party at the Palms' Hardwood Suite in the hotel's new 347-room Fantasy Tower. The $25,000-a-night, 10,000-square suite features an indoor basketball court, complete with scoreboard and locker room. "Justin played basketball for quite a while with Eva and Alyssa," says a source. He and about 100 other revelers "stayed there for a couple hours." '

How can you bring sexy back with just one person?

In case there was any doubt that Justin and Cam Diaz were sooooo over, they released a joint statement confirming their break-up:

“It has always been our preference not to comment on the status of our relationship, but, out of respect for the time we’ve spent together, we feel compelled to do so now, in light of recent speculation and the number of inaccurate stories that are being reported by the media. We have, in fact, ended our romantic relationship, and have done so mutually and as friends, with continued love and respect for one another.”

And it looks like Justin has already found a new ladyfriend:


From Life & Style:
' Just days after his split from Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake’s moving on! At LA club Social Hollywood on Jan. 3, his attention was focused on one woman: Scarlett Johansson!

“They arrived together and stuck together all night,” says a partygoer. “They kept flirting and hugging. '
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aw, don't worry Cammy, someone way hotter than JT loves ya:



In Maxim magazine, Eva Mendes said, "If I were a guy I'd ask Cameron to marry me. She's got the greatest spirit and she has the cutest, tighest butt. Her butt is so cute I can't take it."

From Star So Take It For What It's Worth

STAR magazine reports that Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have split:

Sources say the glamorous due [sic-yeah, spellcheck morons!] broke up and went their separate ways after a serious discussion that ended with Justin deciding that his days with Cam were numbered. "They had been planning to be together in Tennessee with his folks," says a source. "But he came out alone and she stayed in L.A." And on Dec. 23, as he partied with friends in Senses nightclub in Memphis, the source says, Justin told fellow revelers: "Me and Cameron? We're done." He also confided to those friends that "the breakup is for keeps!"


You know Britney is hoping this is true.