The Latest Member of the "I'm a size 2" Club is..........

Kim Kardashian posted a message on her blog taking offense to the store Forever 21 referring to her as a "fuller-sized woman" while introducing their new line of plus-size clothing. Only, they never actually called her anything other than a "fan" of the store.



Kim wrote:

I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I'm very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a "fuller-figured woman" of extra large proportions is a little offensive.

For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.

HAAAAAAAAA!! Can't. Stop. Laughing! Size 2! I love it! Even Kim's "fans" aren't buying that shit:

April 21, 2009 7:19 AM
blondedmbfan15 says: | Reply

I’m Sorry Kim but maybe you wore a size 2 when you were ten but any women knows that with an ass and thighs like yours you wear a much bigger size. Also maybe you need to take some college courses or high school for that matter; all the article said was that you were a fan of the store not the damn plus size line.


April 21, 2009 5:51 AM
tqgucci says: | Reply

I think you need to go to try on a size 2 in case you forgot what a size 2 is, you are NOT a size 2. Sorry but that's the truth.



April 21, 2009 5:02 AM
badeiah11 says: | Reply

YOU ARE A SHALLOW BITCH*ONCE AGAIN YOU OFFEND YOUR FANS!!! BUT THIS TOPPED IT! ALL US CURVY WOMAN LOOKED UP TO YOU!!! AND NOW WE SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS!!**ITS REAL MESSED UP THAT YOU WON'T TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO ADDRESS THIS! We FANS DESERVE AN APOLOGY

kareno8 says: | Reply

My sister and I used to be fans, but no longer.
You are NOT a size 2. I am 105 pounds and 5 feet and I AM A SIZE 2.
You're not even a size 4 or a size 6. We saw your cellulite get blasted off on TV!


April 21, 2009 2:18 AM
kareno8 says: | Reply

we are still laughing at how you say you are a size 2. Also, some plus sized women still work hard to stay slim and healthy. losing weight is a struggle for many because not all have the same metabolism, genes, or cosmetic surgeons (kim).


April 20, 2009 9:03 PM
shaydiva says: | Reply

ONE OF UR THIGHS IS A SIZE 2


April 20, 2009 9:33 PM
bechiiik said to: shaydiva | Reply

No but what you can do is put a rope around your neck, tie the rope to your roof, get on a chair and then let you fall from it :)


April 20, 2009 11:33 PM
shaydiva says: | Reply

I AM A SIZE 2XL AND I DNT HAVE HALF OF THE CELLULITE AND STRECH MARKS THAT U AT A SIZE 2 HAVE! LMAO!


April 21, 2009 3:28 AM
M. says: | Reply

Kim, I know you're not 2 smart, but now I see that you just might be "Dumb and Dumber" built into 1! The US article states that you are a fan of Forever 21, not the plus size Faith line. You clearly lack reading comprehension skills!!!

(The last 1 is my favorite.)

I have the best idea for a game show. It can be called "So You Think You're a Size Two" where contestants like Kim, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, and any other delusional moron who has ever referred to themselves as a size two have to attempt to put on actual size two clothing in front of a studio audience (and America). Tyra Banks would host of course and any(every)one who didn't fit in the clothes would have to yell "KISS MY FAT ASS!"

In other useless bitches with the last name Kardashian news, Kim's two sisters just got their own reality show for some unknown reason.

Not buying it

Useless slut, Tila Tequila, claims a crazed stalker broke into her house yesterday while she was out at a friend's Easter barbeque, smashed her living room and locked her dog in the trunk of her car.

Tila Twittered (yes, she Twittered!):

"Someone did indeed break into my house. It's been a very scary night for me... Too much has happened. I am scared, exhausted and drained but I am ok! Want to apologize to my fans who were worried about me.
I'm moving into a different house very soon because I have a stalker who is very much so endangering my life at the moment... They broke everything in my living room....EVERYTHING IS SHATTERED! I'm so sad right now....this sucks. Then I found my dog locked in the trunk of my car!!!!!!!!!! I've been crying all night. This is fucked up. I'm sad and shocked... I'm still shaking and crying! My dog in the trunk of the car, house is shattered, everything is smashed! I'm staying at a friends house 2nite. Please pay attention to me!! Remember me? I'm a reality star! If I have a stalker, that means I am still relevant dammit. Like that girl on Dancing With the Stars, hey I could be on that show... ARE YOU LISTENING PRODUCERS? Hopefully this will make E! News. Oh shit, I just realized that I broke the glass from the inside."

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The end of an era

Now that they are old bags (over 25) and their contracts are apparently up, the Girls Next Door are spreading their legs and flying out of the Playboy Mansion. What? Oh, I'm sorry, wings. Spreading their wings and flying. No, I was right the first time.

It was announced yesterday that Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett. The two will marry next June at the Playboy Mansion with Hef giving Kendra away. Awww, how sweet of him to remind Hank of where his new bride has been, if having to listen to this for the rest of his life isn't bad enough!

Hef's ex No. 1 girlfriend, Holly Madison, says she hopes to be a bridesmaid. Holly's been seen out with douchebag and CAMERATRICKS FREAK! Criss Angel recently. Today she revealed to PEOPLE that, "I'm in love with him."


Oh Holly, don't you watch his show? It's all an illusion, he's really a famewhorin' fraud with a speech impedement! And here we all thought she was the smart one of the three.

No word on what Bridget's up to. Does she even know she has to move out yet?

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Hilary Duff tries to be Madonna - Fails

Damn, Miley must be so jealous that Hilary gets to make videos like this to try to shed her Disney image. The original video (above) for her song "Reach Out" had to be censored after being deemed "too risque."

They censored the wrong part! They should have censored the audio as the painful butchering of Depeche Mode is far more offensive than Hilary in bondage.

Who looks like a bigger asshat?

Mariah:


or Kim?:

God Save the Queen!

That's Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera hanging out with Princes William and Harry last night in London. Well actually, word is Harry "snubbed" Paris after she performed a "sexy dance" for him. William bit though - the two were later seen exchanging phone numbers. Later that evening, Paris' crabs bit William.

The whole run of events is here in London's Mirror but I'm having a hard time understanding it (I can't read English very well), so good luck with that.

Flea Bomb maybe...

So one of the Kardashians who isn't Kim, Khloe, was arrested on drunk driving charges and served her three hour sentence Friday. She was supposed to serve 30 days, but her time was reduced due to overcrowding and because she posed a threat to the prison population, or so she told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show this morning.

Are you ready for this? Khloe said, "There was a bomb threat. They put me in solitary confinement and the warden came down to talk to me and said, 'You're the one causing all the problems here. ... There are all these bomb threats, and we think they're because of you.'"

Khloe also said she had to watch an "intense" instructional video about "how to be a good inmate" and to avoid fights and getting a staph infection.

Write your own joke.

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SPLIT

There may have been something to those Madonna rumors after all. The New York Daily News has reported that Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia have officially have split.

The anonymous source said A-Rod and Cynthia have been having``problems'' for about three months.

Yesterday there were rumors that Cynthia was on a romantic getaway with Lenny Kravitz (who also share the same manager as A-Rod and Madonna) but her mother denied that rumor: ``She is not! I know that.''

Maddie "Whoops!" Spears is here!

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth this morning at 9:30 am to a daughter that she and fiancé Casey Aldridge named Maddie Briann.

A source told PEOPLE, "Just the family was there. Everyone is healthy and happy."

That family includes Britney, who flew in yesterday to be with her sister.

Baby and baby are doing fine.

Here we go again.

Oh Miley. Is anyone else getting tired of all the Miley Cyrus photo scandals? Just after all the hoopla died down from that Vanity Fair photo, here comes a couple new photos for everyone to get all worked up over.

They looked innocent enough, until it was revealed that the guy in the pictures is 22-years old. (Miley's 15--or so they claim. Personally, I think she's 35. It takes some time to develop that whisky and Marlboros voice.)

His name is Marshall and he is one of Miley's backup dancers. Hmm, back-up dancer. Where have we heard this one before?

I'm sure she's still a virgin Billy Ray!

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For a good time call...

So Cameron Diaz has been having some fun lately.

First she hooked up with Diddy at a party at Prince's house. It all started when Cameron was seen spoon-feeding Diddy bread pudding. Yeah, bread pudding. At Prince's house. Are you imagining little purple dessert bowls too? Anyway, then they went into the basement together and got it on. Allegedly.

But Diddy's old news now. Two days later Cameron was spotted looking "really" flirty with model Paul Sculfor (he dated Jennifer Aniston last year) at a restaurant in Santa Monica. They left together after two hours.

Cam recently said, "People think if you're single, you are incomplete. No. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship that makes me incomplete."

Hey Cam, it's nice to have a good time and all, but maybe you should keep your hook-ups a little more on the downlow or people are going to start thinking you're a complete slut.

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Jamie Lynn's Shower!

It seems like just yesterday that we found out little Jamie Lynn Spears was knocked-up. Well, she had her baby shower this past Saturday. And soon-to-be Auntie Britney was there!

Star reports that the shower was held in Kentwood at an estate that Britney purchased for her mother. The menu included included cold cuts, juice, and champagne.

Britney didn't smoke around Jamie and even told guests to smoke outside! Wow, that is HUGE!!!

The next day Britney and Jamie Lynn took a drive together and lunched at Sonic. A source said,"Both of them were just glowing, totally happy to be together." I'm sure the glowing part had to do with the greasy food.

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Poor Kim!!

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. Her whole life she dreamed of owning a Bentley of her very own. That's all she wanted, is that so much to ask?

Well this girl never stopped believing and one day he dreams came true!! She made a sex tape and became famous and was able to get that Bentley!

Unfortunately, this story doesn't have a happy ending. The girl only got to drive the Bentley for one week and then BAM!! An evil man on a motorcycle slammed into it! Now she has to wait TWO MONTHS for it to be fixed!!!

Sadly, the horrific story above is true. And the poor big-assed girl is none other than America's treasure, Kim Kardashian.

Kim is keeping her adoring fans updated on the touch and go status of her car on her website. And great news everyone! You can leave get well wishes for her Bentley!

Since my recent car drama has been in the news, I figure I should give you the updates...

I only got to drive my new Bentley for one week when a motorcycle ran into it! It was a hit and run. :(

I've had the car for six whole months, but it had been in shop most of that time getting tricked out at Luxury Ride Motors -- where I bought it. Now my Bentley is at Platinum MotorSport on Sunset Blvd. getting repaired! They say it may take about two months.

I've been waiting my whole life for a Bentley and now this!!! I just have to laugh -- what else am I going to do!?

Wish my car a speedy recovery in the comments and also let me know how you have dealt with car drama!

To further talk about this tragedy, we are pleased to welcome to Asshat Hollywood: KIM KARDASHIAN!!!


Uh, Kim, you think you can turn around?




Seriously, are you ever going to turn around? I know it's hard to believe, but I'm tired of looking at your ass.

"But I did turn around."

Oh, so you did. My mistake. So tell me, how are you coping with this nightmare?

"I'm just so very sad, my Bentley is everything to me."

I know how painful this must be for you and your courage is inspiring. You must also be angry, I mean, the nerve of that motorcyclist taking off like that huh?! I'd be rippin'!

"I know!! He didn't even ask my Bentley if she was ok. That damn ambulance just picked him up and sped off! That fucker!!"

Ummm, hang on a second Kim. You said it was a hit and run. Is the guy ok?

"Who cares about him? MY BENTLEY!!!!!!!!WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

Stay strong Kim, remember what you said: Laugh. That's all you can do in stressful times like this. Hey speaking of stressful times, what do you think of all the talk regarding fears of a recession in this country?

" MY BENTLEY!!!!!!!!WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

I understand your feelings on that. After all, if everyone made a sex tape and starred in their own inane reality show, we wouldn't be in the current economic upheaval we are now. That was actually pretty profoundly insightful, Kim. But surely, you must have an opinion on the upcoming Presidential election?

" MY BENTLEY!!!!!!!!WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

The war in Iraq?

" MY BENTLEY!!!!!!!!WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

The AIDS crisis and poverty in Africa? Comeon, even American Idol cares about that one!

" MY BENTLEY!!!!!!!!WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

Ok, well, thanks for stopping by Kim. I'm sure your Bentley is in everyone's thoughts and prayers.

Scandal With the Stars!!

Ut oh! Star is reporting that Cheryl Burke saved a horse and rode Drew Lachey during the last national Dancing With the Stars tour. In case you didn't know, Drew is married with a 2-year old daughter..

An insider told Star, "They didn't go very far to cover it up. Cheryl was constantly draped all over Drew. They held hands, had their legs intertwined and were always touching inappropriately."

And Cheryl's now ex-boyfriend Matthew Lawrence (Boy Meets World and also Joey's brother) caught Cheryl blowing Drew out of his socks!

Sources say Matthew found the two when he went to retrieve something from her dressing room on a tour stop in Jacksonville, Florida on January 22. He ran out screaming and yelling.

The next day as the buses were getting ready to leave, insiders say that Drew started yelling at Matthew and Joey in the parking lot. "If you talk about this, I'll bury you Matt. I'll bury you Joey. I'm serious I will hurt you!"

Drew and Cheryl's lawyers are both denying the affair (which is pretty much confirming it--I mean, lawyers?) Matthew told Star, "There are too many things going on. I can't talk about it."

I wonder how Drew is going to bury Matt. I wonder how Drew is going to bury Joey. Maybe it will be a dance-off?

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I can't wait!!!!

Be prepared to your mind blown. That's right!! Pop sensation Heidi Montag has another music video coming out soon!!

Heidi's boyfriend and producer extraordinaire, Spencer Pratt told PEOPLE that the video will be out "within the month," and be more conceptual (Personally, I don't know how that's possible) but still “very simple, [and] very entertaining, just like the last one.” He also said that thing about it blowing people's minds. (Insert your own oral joke.)

While you twitch waiting eagerly for the follow-up to Higher, enjoy this gem I stumbled on at TelevisionWithoutPity.com. My favorite part is when the interview turns to religion and Heidi talks about how she's a non-denominational Baptist.

Zoey drops out of high school

Nickelodeon has aborted the teen show Zoey 101 following the announcement of star Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy.

The fourth and final season has already been filmed but Nickelodeon execs are undecided as to whether or not to air it. According to a source, "For now it looks like it has been canned."

No word on whether Nintendo has similar plans to ax the Zoey Sex-Ed 101 video game.

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Asshat of the Week

It's only Monday and already I had a hard time deciding if the Asshat of the Week should be the dumbass Red Sox fans: "We won, let's riot and flip some cars!" or famewhore Trista Rehn Sutter. It was a tough call, but Trista won out. Hey, that's the first time Trista won anything, isn't it? Unfortunately Trista, you will have to share the honor with Us Weekly Magazine, so you're still not a total winner.

I'm being kind of mean here though. See, Trista is already going through some hard times. She's got a battle ahead of her. A battle with her post-baby weight, and she is bravely speaking about her struggle in the latest issue of Us Weekly.

Here is a heartbreaking excerpt of the moving interview that every new mother in America, hell any woman, any size 4 heffer, can relate to:

' Three months after the birth of her son, former Bachelor star Trista Sutter, 35, tells Us she’s on a mission to lose the last of the 30 pounds she gained during pregnancy.

“I’m definitely not pleased when I look in the mirror,” admits the 5-foot-2 star, who now wears a size 4 and weighs 116 pounds, but aspires to surpass her prebaby physique and get down to 106 pounds. “When I fit into my size 26 Hudson jeans, then I’ll be happy.”

Sutter shares her post-baby body issues with Us and how husband Ryan, 33, is helping her get down to her goal weight.

How are you feeling about your body?
“My friend said that when I came home from the hospital, I’d be back in my old jeans. Fifteen pounds did fall off immediately, but the fact that it’s been three months and I’m still not in them is a bummer.”

What bothers you the most?
“My belly. It has a layer of fat, which, of course, your body has to put on, but it’s blubbery and I hate it. I want to be able to go bathing suit shopping for a vacation and not feel totally disgusted…I just don’t feel good in a lot of my clothes.”

Does Ryan help?
If I eat something that I shouldn’t, Ryan shakes his finger at me and says, ‘Uh, uh, uh!’ He’s been awesome, 100 percent supportive. He watches Max when I go to the gym and is constantly saying that I look great. But when you don’t feel good about yourself, you don’t feel like you want to be intimate. I want to feel, and look, sexy again for him. Even though he is being nice and saying he’s still attracted to me, I want to feel like he’s telling me the truth and not just saying it because he’s a good husband.” '

I know, 116 pounds!!! I wouldn't leave the house!!! Poor, poor Trista! It's a good thing she has such a wonderful, supportive husband who's willing to shake his finger at her when she eats a no-no food! Good luck Trista, you can lose that blubber and be back to your former sexpot self in no time! I believe in you! As a matter of fact, don't stop at 106 lbs, try for 96, or 86, or 76. Hell, go for 6!!!

And kudos to Us Weekly for publishing such an inspirational piece about this gifted, talented, and lovely young heroine. I'm sure this kind of story will resonate with the vast majority of women in America who will all surely stand up and applaud Trista's courage.

By the way, did she say anything about the BABY?

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Bullshit quote of the day

Saint Angelina recently told Britain's Cosmopolitian magazine that she has only slept with four men.

On being a slut: "It was never true. I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them!"

For those counting that would be Brad Pitt, Billy-Bob Thornton, Johnny Lee Miller and one other person.


Then again, maybe she's not lying, she never said she only had sex with four men.

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Happy (belated) July 4th!

No point, you're gonna have to just drain it.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July and that you listened to the advice of the reformed and newly wise Paris Hilton who posted on her MySpace:

"Happy 4th of July everyone, and remember to be responsible and have a designated driver!"

Paris even set a wonderful example by having three designated drivers. In fact, she had a few non-designated drivers as well. And a couple doormen. And the guy that delivered the beer. And another Greek Shipping heir.

Hope everyone had as much fun and enjoyed as many hot dogs as Paris did this Independence Day!

We miss you Tupac and Biggie

In the 90's we had the East Coast vs. West Coast rap wars. Nowadays, we have the Dumb vs. Dumber popslut wars.

So the story goes that Fergie and Nelly Furtado have dissed each other on their equally wretched songs. I'm not sure who started it but Fergie said something about not being promiscuous on her song Fergalicious and something else about pulling Nelly's wig off in another song. I don't know what Nelly said about Fergie and frankly, I'm tired of Googling trying to find out. (Supposedly it's in Promiscious but I can't find it. Let me know if anyone knows)

Anyway, recently the two crossed paths and Fergie went on the record about it on Ryan Seacrest's radio show yesterday.

Fergie explained, "Something went down with the lyrics of a song and she thought I was talking about her because we had similar lyrics when our albums came out and it wasn't even true. So she came out with a song talking about it and I approached her and said, 'Hey, listen, is this song about me, because I heard from (producer) Scott Storch it was,' and she kinda beat around the bush a little bit... and she said, 'Yeah,' and she apologized and I said, 'OK.' "I was willing to keep it between us, she goes on MTV, said it wasn't about me and then I hear on YouTube she's saying it was about me, so I'm like, 'OK, which one is it?' "She was just calling me out on a song... (and now) it's kinda like a light battle... I've said my peace. It's not like we're gonna throw down."

Got all that? Me neither. Do you care? Me neither.

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