Got Pepto?

Seriously, some things we just don't need to see.

It's Britney bitch, Where's your hand K-Fed?

Star Magazine reported not too long ago that Britney and Kevin recently shared a kiss and now they say the two have progressed to having phone sex.

An "insider" tells Star that Britney couldn't sleep one night and called Kevin at 2 am. The talk started about their children but soon the topic got dirty and they weren't talking about Brit's weave.

Since then the two have been reaching out and touching themselves on a weekly basis, says the insider.

Ok, first - ewww! I was going write a fictional transcription of what one of these sessions might be like, but some things are just too gross and scary, even for my polluted backyard mind, so sorry.

Second, who is this insider? Are they listening in to these conversations? Are they getting off too?

Ok, I'm sorry, I'm getting a little queasy now. I guess we should try and see the positive. At least they can't conceive any more children this way.

Good boy!

Ashton Kutcher recently revealed that he enjoys urinating outside his house every morning with his dogs.

"I pee outside, outside my house, in my yard. I usually start off my day by taking my dogs out. While they go, I go. That's probably my least appealing habit. I just feel like I'm connecting with nature, I bond and feel like caveman. Man, tents, cave, pee, bush."

Demi is said to be very proud that Ashton finally stopped peeing on the sofa.

SOURCE

Stuff we really, really didn't need to know

Britney Spears has reportedly been receiving regular colonic sessions at a Beverly Hills clinic!! Fun!!

The Daily Mirror got the poop, oops, I mean scoop. A source said, "Cleansing a few times a week gets rid of lingering stuff in the colon. Britney's had the treatment before and says it makes her feel great, more upbeat and energetic." And not toxic!!!

Aren't you glad you know that now? How's your lunch by the way?

SOURCE

Just Say No to drugs kids

Seriously.

This is almost as bad as that public service message with the lady that started out pretty and got uglier and uglier and took her teeth out at the end.

PP Cool J?

Could a duet with Fergie be far behind?

PHOTO

Pete Doherty is the next Picasso!

Look! You can see Kate's nipples!

Pete Doherty's blood paintings went on display yesterday at the appropriately named Bankrobber Gallery in London. The 14 paintings in the collection, called the Bloodworks Exhibition, are priced up to $90,000 each.

The director of the gallery, Michael Chambati-Woodhead, said of Doherty, "Painting is a relatively new thing for him." No, I don't believe it!

SOURCE

Ever wish you could have Paris Hilton cooties of your very own?

There is an auction on Ebay for a hamper that supposedly belonged to Paris Hilton. You can see the actual listing here. The opening bid is $50.00 and no one has bid yet.

The description reads:

This is truly PARIS HILTON HAMPER, where she kept all her dirty laundry.

The item comes with a certificate of authenticity from Star Style, who ran a Paris Hilton auction that included furniture and this piece. The Paris Hilton hamper is in excellent condition.

This is your chance to share in Paris' dirty laundry. No DNA found inside but maybe you have a better investigator. Valtrex sold separately.

The best part is the certificate of authenticity (click to enlarge):

So let's get to bidding people!

I always thought he'd be more of a swallower

From STAR:

' While at the AOL gift suite in Park City, Utah, last week for the Sundance Film Festival, Justin shocked onlookers with an ever-so-icky joke to fellow suite-goer Christina Ricci. "Christina said to Justin, 'I'm thirsty,'" a source tells Star. "Justin responded to her, 'Come here, I'll spit in your mouth!" Ewww!!! (Fear not: Christina didn't take Justin up on his offer!)

The source also adds that Justin didn't want any employees from the suite bothering him, let alone fans! Wow, Justin is a closet diva! '


Ok, it could have been a hell of a lot worse than spit, but still... Forget Jessica Biel Justin, you should hook up with Pumkin!