Thank you for being a friend

This made me really sad. Bea Arthur passed away Saturday at the age of 86 from cancer.

RIP Bea.

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Goodbye Megan! I won't forget to caw!

VFTW

Sorry about the no Asshat Idol post this week. I did try yesterday, but the fucking copyright police took down every freaking performance from YouTube.

It doesn't really matter though, because there really weren't any standout performances (no, not even Adam) on Tuesday night. The real highlights were on last night's results show when America's favorite songbird, Megan, was eliminated. I hate when people use the term "EPIC", but there really is no other way to describe just how awesome Megan's exit was:



Way to go out Megan!! Tatianna, Norman Gentle, Adam's Ring of Fire, and Megan = BEST AI SEASON EVER! Suck it Simon!

Oh and then there was this insanity:



I'll confess I don't know much about this Lady Gaga person all the kids are listening to these days. I've heard her name mentioned a lot over the past couple years, especially when Christina Aguilera ripped off her gimmick that time, but I've never actually seen a Lady Gaga performance. Wow, that was pretty amazing. It kind of reminded me of those weird alternative videos they used to show on 120 Minutes. I sure hope we get to see a Lady Gaga/Adam Glambert duet on the finale.

There is still hope for American Idol Season 8

Even though the beautiful, talented, and humble Tatianna Del Toro is no longer part of American Idol, there is one contestant who will save this season. And that contestant is Anoop Desai!

I really didn't care much for Anoop until his awesome Wild Card Performance of "My Prerogative" last week:



But I really love him now after someone showed me this performance of Anoop's college acapella group:



Let's hope the trend of loving Indians this year continues through this season of American Idol!

She's Baaacccckkk!!!

I literally jumped up and cheered last night when Tatianna Del Toro was given a spot in tonight's American Idol Wildcard show.

Let's relive the awesome moment:



Simon pointed out earlier in the show that Jennifer Hudson was brought back as a wildcard pick in her season. I'm sure Tatianna will follow in her footsteps and be the next AI contestant to go on to win an Oscar. I mean, she deserves one already for her performance last night!

Let's see Tatianna's reaction after the show last night:



Not everyone's happy about the news though, here's what Adam Lambert had to say:



SHUT UP ADAM!

So everyone out there, even if you don't watch American Idol, watch the Wildcard show tonight and make our beautiful goddess's dream come true!!!!


(NOTE: For all the idiots out there, those last two videos were impersonators.)

Carly 2.0 OUT!

American Idol's top 36 were just announced last night and already there's SCANDAL!!!

Joanna Pacitti (left), the contestant that already had previous recording contracts with A&M and Geffen and who also forgot the lyrics several times in the Hollywood rounds, has been replaced with Felicia Barton (right) for unknown reasons.

Ever since Joanna's first appearance on the show there have been many "ringer" screams across Idol fanboards.

All FOX is saying is: "It has been determined that Joanna Pacitti is ineligible to continue in the competition."

The cause of the disqualification is rumored to a conflict of interest due to Joanna's "private relationship" with executives of (The Evil) 19 Entertainment. Get your mind off the casting couch! Joanna reportedly once resided in the same apartment building as 19 executives Roger Widynowski and Michelle Young.

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In more important Idol news, Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle made the Top 36!!!

David Cook once again proves that he is the most awesome person on the face of the Earth

"Suck it Archuletta!"

American Music Awards

Last night were the American Music Awards. I don't normally watch them, but there was apparently a rumor that our leader would finally be appearing before us and it seemed like an actual possibility. So I armed myself with a bottle of Merlot and decided to watch it instead of my other television option, WWE Survivor Series (which I figured would suck since the most awesome wrestler ever, my beloved Edge, has been gone for the past three months).

Although throughout the night, host Jimmy Kimmel made references to a "surprise guest," it wasn't Mr. Rose. We did get braids, but they belonged to Alicia Keys, who closed the show performing with Queen Latifah as special guest #1 (some "surprise", they kept showing her in the audience!) and some opera singer.



Though that was a letdown, it was nice to see somebody actually singing and playing an instrument instead of singing three lines and dancing to backup singers/taped vocals because that's what the show mainly consisted of.

Even Christina followed the theme of the evening with her opening number:


I will admit though, every time I see Beyonce do this performance it memorizes me and I sit and watch the entire thing:


Then I go on YouTube and watch other people do it. Then I watch the original routine that was the inspiration. Then I do it in front of my bathroom mirror. Then I shoot myself.

Speaking of suicidal (or is that homicidal):


Seriously sweetie, no man is worth that, let alone a Jonas brother. And why no reaction shot? They weren't afraid to get one after every recycled Russell Brand joke Jimmy Kimmel attempted:



So then Kanye said he wanted to be Elvis:


And this was the result:


Here's Scott Weiland introducing Pink who will be performing a song called "Sober." Oh the irony:


And Pink rocked that shit:



The most awesome person in the world, David Cook gets stuck doing the pre-show and then got cut for a commercial:


But they had enough time for this garbage:

Can those other girls even sing?

IT'S MILEY!



Didn't get it then:

Crotchgrabs? Ewww.

And don't get it now:

Thank god for alcohol.

Meanwhile, on Survivor Series:


Yup.

Hey, remember David Cook??

Of course you do, he is the most awesome person of all time you know!

He's going to be on Saturday Night Live tomorrow night! Unfortunately he's only the musical guest (Ben "remember him?" Affleck is hosting.), which is too bad because he was great on Best Week Ever that time. Hopefully they'll put him in a skit too. Something where he gets to talk about magic rainbows!

He'll get our country out of the shitter!

After watching last night's Presidential debate, I have finally decided who I am going to vote for! In eighteen days I will write my vote for Joe the Plumber!

Apparently I'm not the only one that had this brilliant idea. Not even 24 hours later, you can buy your very own Joe the Plumber t-shirt HERE.

I seriously predict this guy will get more votes than Nader ever did.

Milk your newfound fame Joe!!! Make a YouTube!

Happy Birthday Slash!

Guitar hero, living legend, and one of the most awesome people ever, Saul Hudson turns 43 today!!!

To celebrate, here's a video of a great Slash solo from the infamous St. Louis riot show back in 91. Right after his solo, they break into "Rocket Queen"(my favorite song of all time), and shortly after they start is when Axl loses his shit and jumps into the crowd to beat up some guy with a camera. Enjoy!

RIP Estelle Getty

Estelle passed away this morning at the age of 84. She had been suffering from Lewy Body Dementia.

Thank you for being a friend. :(

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Fergie and Slash

You know, most of Fergie's songs annoy the ever-loving shit out of me, but I always thought she was a pretty cool person. I mean, she admitted to a meth problem and wetting herself and she likes Taco Bell and Mustangs. Not to mention Kids Incorporated. And now this seals her status as "awesome" in my book.

R.I.P. George

We lost a genius yesterday.

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The Most Awesome Human Being in the World

Lets follow up the Bill Murray is a wifebeater story with something positive.

So I've been trying so hard to dull the David Cook thing a bit because I don't want to be one of those crazy stalker fans that watch his YouTubes over and over and send him hundreds of cookies and shit like that, but dude's making it really hard because he keeps doing one awesome thing after another (sit down Caldwell, I wasn't talking about your ass!) First the Guitar Hero commercial, then telling Ryan Seacrest to say "Chicks Man" on the Soup, then somehow managing not to burst into laughter when that old crazy owl Larry King "honored" him with his cornyass suspenders, wait a second, what was I saying before about YouTubes? Nevermind, don't answer that.

So now PEOPLE has a story about how a couple days before the Idol finale, David dropped everything to visit his friend and Top 24 contestant Luke Menard, who was recently diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, in the hospital.

David said, “I love Luke and I just wanted to show up and make sure that he understood that I love him and know that if there’s anything I can do for him and his wife, sign me up, you know? Luke, Michael Johns, Jason Yeager and myself, we kind of buddied up one day at Hollywood week. We called ourselves the four horsemen. Any time one of your own is going through something as horrible as that, it makes everything else seem a little bit insignificant. Cancer is a very big part of my existence. I’m excited to be put in [the spotlight] where I can hopefully do something to help other people.”

Luke's prognosis is positive, "They’ve been told that it’s treatable and manageable. Luke is currently in Los Angeles and plans to return home to Indiana soon,” a friend of Luke's recently told news reporters.

Seriously, this David Cook thing is getting annoying. Nobody could be that awesome and nice and sweet and humble and smart and talented and adorable. I'm sure any day now, we'll hear a story about how shortly after meeting David Cook, a little crippled girl in a wheelchair got up and walked for the first time in her tragic life. And, nobody would be surprised!

So, let's just cut the shit and do the next obvious thing and cancel the whole election and just make David Cook the new president.

Really, let's look at the facts: He has about as much experience as Obama; unlike Hilary, he owns up when involved in a scandal (Eleanor Rigby > Whitewater); and he's much younger, hotter, and more living than McCain. Plus, there's the whole stand-up, honest guy thing. There wouldn't even be any need to have an election because everybody already knows he'd win by 12 million votes. And all the money saved on the election could be used to offset gas prices. Then, once in office, David would turn around the economic crisis, fix the health care system, and bring about world peace--all through song, hand messages, and by making world leaders and crooked politicians feel like shitty excuses for human beings compared to the awesomeness that is David Cook. Then he'd rearrange the Star Spangled Banner into a beautiful and haunting post-grunge ballad.

So this November, stop searching America, because the magic rainbow for a bright future leads to COOK!

Cook/Castro in 08! VOTE! VOTE!

Cruz Beckham Status:

Still pissed off. Stay out of his way muthafucka.

Elegance!

I'm wigging out!! I can't understand why I can't find a damn screenshot of Bret without his bandanna from last night's Rock of Love episode!! The wig was gleaming! Fortunately, my searching wasn't for nothing because I stumbled on this awesome interview with the lovely and classy(and obvious winner--did you see when they showed the preview for next week? He was looking down when he said "you are my Rock of Love"--now granted, one of them could have been giving him a bj, but I'm thinking he wasn't talking to Ambre who is his height.) Daisy De La Hoya!

Here are some gems from the interview:

On her band: "If Madonna and Motley Crue had a baby, I guess it would be Daisy. "

On her ex(?) Charles: "When I met Charles he had suggested that I should do dancing. I think it was sorta something that I always thought was just gonna happen anyways. I don’t know (pause) sort of like pre-determined." What a guy!

On The Awesome Heather: "I think she’s the skankiest, crustiest, old hag stripper on the Planet. And I hate her. I literally hate her. All the other girls joking aside, you know whatever, but her, wait until you see the re-union show because (pause) I hate her. If we could tie Heather down, then I would definitely like to stab her in the eye with a stiletto. ....she’s like a big giant man. She’s a Bret Michaels wanna be. " But what do you really think?

On what other rock stars she'd like to sleep with: "The rock star who I’d really like to fuck his brains out would be Nikki Sixx. I don’t wanna make out with him. I don’t want any kissing involved. I just want to fuck him. No kissing, just fucking!" (Awww! Just like in Pretty Woman!!)

The whole interview's gold. Kudos to Metal Sludge for finally doing something interesting!


At first I was looking forward to the reunion mostly for Angelique, but it sounds like there's gonna be a Daisy/Heather smackdown and now I really can't wait!! Sorry Daisy, but I'm TEAM TATTERS all the way baby!

I bet it goes down like this: Bret chooses Daisy in the finale. On the reunion show, he confesses that during their separation after the show, he finally realized that Heather was his true Rock of Love. Daisy hyperventilates/grabs her boobs/cries/loses her fake eyelashes. Kristi Jo starts crying. Rodeo starts crying/laughing hysterically. Peyton jumps out and starts yelling "FACE TIME!!" Then Daisy yells, "Oh yeah? Well I DID fuck CC!!" Then Bret yells "Fine then. Take it CC!!" Then CC Deville comes out and plays a solo. Then Bret goes "No, take HER!" So then CC and Daisy go off together and live happily ever after--once Daisy's lease with Charles is up in 2012, that is. Then Ambre starts going on and on about how she has to lie about her age but her hip goes out right in the middle of her explanation. Then New York comes out just to remind everyone that she is still the HBIC and that she was the original VH1 star with artificial hair and you bitches better recognize! Then Bret compliments her on her weave and asks for pointers. She offers to take him to her salon. Bret then grabs the wig and throws it on the floor. The wig starts crying. Now it needs to find love. A VH1 producer gets an idea!

I mean, it's SOO obvious that's what happens!

Hey Scott, you're no Axl

Well, it was inevitable, and I'm actually surprised they lasted five years and two albums. It looks like my beloved Velvet Revolver are falling to pieces (sorry). Forgive the long post, but y'all know, ok?

So at a recent tour stop in Glawgow, Scotland, Scott Weiland told fans onstage, "You're watching something special... the last tour by Velvet Revolver."

The day after the incident, drummer Matt Sorum posted a message to fans on his blog:

"So last night was interesting. Had a little band turmoil on stage, as you probably all could tell.

Being in a band is a lot like being in a relationship. Sometimes you just don't get along. I guess there has been more turmoil lately, I guess, with the cancellations and all. It has been frustrating, I am not going to lie.

My career and life in rock 'n' roll has come with its ups and downs. Unfortunately, some people in this business don't realize how great of a life they have. Touring the world, meeting great people and fans all over the world. And just playing music for a living. I feel truly blessed. But sometimes the road can be draining for some. Being away from home and family does grind on you sometimes. With all the traveling and different beds. Personally, I love this shit and sometimes can’t believe I am so lucky to still be doing what I do for a living.

Everybody could see who was unhappy last night, but all I can say is let's keep the rock alive, people!!!! In this life, you just pick up and keep moving. And don't ever let anybody stand in your way."

Scott then responded by releasing the following crazyass statement/personal attack on Matt to Blabbermouth.net:

"Well, first of all, the state of my family affairs is really none of his business, since he is too immature to have a real relationship, let alone children. So don't attempt to stand in a man's shoes when you haven't walked his path. Secondly, 'keeping rock 'n' roll alive?' I've made many attempts to remain cordial with the members of VR, but mainly, the likes of you. Funny though — this is your FIRST band, as opposed to being a hired gun. I've been making records (now on my ninth), which have sold over 35 million copies worldwide and have maintained a level of professionalism regardless of how many drugs I've ingested into my system. I have only cancelled one tour during the entire course of my 16-year run and that was the 'make-up' Australia tour. Now, shall I open that can of worms, Matthew? Release the Kraken? Serve... Volley! You canceled the Aussie tour in the fall because you went to rehab, but I won't say why… we'll just let Blabbermouth find out for themselves.

As for our fans — I will sweat, bruise, and bleed for you. And will continue to do so until the end of this tour. However, you deserve to hear VELVET REVOLVER playing… not certain individuals singing along to get a muddied up sound. God forbid — could one imagine if I grabbed a guitar and started soloing along with Slash? That would never happen because I know my place. It's a shame… we were a gang. But ego and jealousy can get the better of anyone. I wish the best and plan to annihilate the stage in the last few shows.

On a separate note, we did an STP [STONE TEMPLE PILOTS] photo shoot before this tour and it was fun, inspiring and it gave me that thrill — that feeling that got my rocks off from the get-go."

Well Scott is a man of his word, he does bruise and bleed alright. Speaking of, he just recently got out of rehab, again. Anyway, it kinda looks he's been festering some ill-will since Matt's statement seemed to be an apology to fans making excuses for Scott (as ex Guns N' Roses members are PRO's at), while Scott's was more of an attack. I have to wonder who he's talking about with the "certain individuals singing along" comment, because if he's including my boy Duff in that statement, I'm gonna half to open a can of asswhip on his scrawny butt. For real, no one fucks with Duff. And he's lucky he didn't say anything about Slash. Even he knows better.

Seems Scott's looking for an easy out since the long-awaited Stone Temple Pilots reunion is coming up and his head is a little more inflated than usual about it. Trust me, if it weren't and if VR's last album did better, he wouldn't be throwing this little temper tantrum right now.

So then yesterday, Slash commented on the whole mess to BBC Radio 1's Newsbeat. He said "Well, let's put it this way — this is not VELVET REVOLVER's last tour." He even said they are at work on their next album. Uh, ok.

So a new singer perhaps? I hear Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse, and Danny Noriega are available.

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Imagine no possessions

Ok, I promise I'll stop with the Beatles/Lennon stuff! But it really fits here.

Jamie Lee Curtis appears topless on the cover of the May/June issue of AARP magazine to show women that there just may be something to that whole aging gracefully thing. Who would've thunk?

In her interview she talks about her health and diet tips (giving up crackers, bread and granola), and about what beauty is (being confident in herself.)

Then Jamie talks about how she gave away nearly all of her jewelry and shoes to "lighten her load." She said "I've had the experience of going into people's homes after they've died, and I'm amazed at the number of things people amass and never look at again. And I'm just not that person."

She then added, "I'm like the Terminator, that's what I am. I should have a TV show where I go into people's houses and terminate their possessions."

Hey Jamie, why don't you start with Kim Kardashian?

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They call him Mellow Yellow; He calls them bitches

I just can't take it! First Britney Spears is a brilliant actress, and now Adam Carolla is a dancer extraordinaire! Here's his first (and most likely, last) dance on Dancing With the Stars which premiered last night.

Cone-Grad-U-Lasions......................Christian!

Congrats to Christian Siriano the winner of Project Runway! Hopefully this means that he will start a ready-to-wear line called "FIERCE! by Ferosha Coutura."

I was looking for a video of him winning, and stumbled upon THIS . It scares me that there are such whacked people out there.