Lady lumps, lumpless seats, and other lumps

When designing outfits for The Spice Girls Reunion tour, Roberto Cavalli was asked by Vicky Beckham to design outfits that would "give her hips". (How about a sammich?)

Cavalli said, "I asked them about their bodies, what they wanted to show and hide. (Victoria) was the most daring. She wanted to experiment, to surprise and be different.

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Speaking of the Spice Girls tour, despite being touted as "sold out," the girls played to a half empty Mandaly Arena last night in Las Vegas. It was their second show in the city.

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Don't feel too bad for them. Especially Victoria, who comes home to this every night:

In What-Took-Them-So-Long? news:

Rhianna has released a collection of umbrellas--ellas--ellas for TOTES. I think this is great news!! Check out the tops: nice and pointy, which makes them perfect for stabbing in your ears whenever that fucking song comes on.




In related news, Britney Spears is reportedly pissed about the Rhianna endorsement deal.

The Simple Crackhead Life

Nicole Richie wants to make it clear that while she was a drug addict, she has never been under a bridge (though Anthony Kiedis has claimed to have spotted her there once) and she never, ever went without footwear.

In a recent interview for Nylon magazine Nic said, "When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes."

Uh, yeah, that's because your father is Lionel Richie moron! Maybe if he didn't adopt you, you would have ended up under a bridge and not having any Christian Louboutins to protect your feet! Speaking of being a moron, crack and heroin are two different drugs. Care to educate her Whitney?

"CRACK IS WHACK!! KISS MY ASS!"

Thanks Whit!

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Fashion Week

PAGE SIX: ' Sources say the W Suite Backstage at the Bryant Park tents shut down just for Mary-Kate and Ashley. "They were wearing heels bigger than their waists," said one sneaky spy. "They were just sitting there. Literally." The source said, "They weren't drinking, they weren't talking - not even to each other. They sat in silence for at least 20 minutes, staring at the floor." Photos of the twins smiling and laughing have been popping up lately, but our tipster said, "They looked like the saddest people you've ever seen." '

My guess is they're hungry. Or their coke dealer didn't show up.


Some deejay group called the MisShapes threw a temper tantrum at the G Star Fashion show because they had second row, not front. Who? Um, ok, in order to use the "Do you know who I am?" bitchcall, it would be a good idea if the other person actually knew who you are.
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People seemed to know who "Elisabeta and Nicolae Petrescu" were. Dubbed "the cat people" (they always carried a cat), the supposed brother and sister Eastern European socialites made the rounds at Fashion Week decked out in Trovata couture and became instant celebrities. Vogue editor Anna Wintor was even photographed air-kissing the duo. But in a scene straight out of "Ugly Betty", it turns out it was all a big ol' publicity stunt and the two were actually actors from LA. Wintor was in on the prank too. There is a rumor that Borat himself, Sasha Baron Cohen, may be behind the joke for his upcoming film in which he plays a character named "Bruno', a gay Austrian fashion reporter.
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