Straight Backta Lynwood!

I'm sure everyone knows by now (sorry--slacking today) that Paris Hilton has been sent BACK TO PRISON to serve the remainder of her sentence (which is the original 45 day sentence, not the shortened 23 day one!) behind bars. She reportedly was kicking and screaming and yelling for her mom. She also said "This isn't right!" Oh yes sweetie, it is so, so right.

In case you missed all the developments (and there were more than OJ Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith combined), check out TMZ.

What the fuck?

Paris Hilton is already out of jail!

Sources revealed to TMZ this morning that the deal to cut her sentence short was sealed yesterday and that she is free after serving only 3. Fucking. Days.

The L.A. County Sheriff's Department is going to hold a news conference in an hour to explain themselves. There's no need to, she obviously sucked them all off.


UPDATE : They let her out because of a "medical condition" and she will serve the remainder of her sentence at home with an anklet bracelet. Here is the press release.
Fucking Unbelievable!

Nicole upstages Paris!

Here's a photo of what Nicole would look like at 3 weeks along.

Is Nicole Richie pregnant? According to Life and Style, she is. They report that Nicole recently underwent blood and urine screenings which "confirmed she is pregnant." She was also photographed at a reproductive clinic on May 30 and a source was quoted as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.”

Hmmm, she did seem to have a pooch in some recent photos lately, but I thought it was Ethiopian belly. How does someone so thin even get pregnant?

Well, if this is true and it's a girl they can share clothes!

SOURCE

Jen's dating a model - Angelina's buying a new orphan - Brad's kicking himself

PEOPLE reports that Jennifer Aniston is dating a new guy. His name is Paul Sculfor and he is a British model and former boxer and construction worker..

He even got a recommendation from a former girlfriend, London socialite Lady Victoria Hervey, "He's a lovely guy. A gentleman. Simple things, like opening doors, he does all that. He'll think of the woman before himself."

Meanwhile in Brangelinaland:




Crazycatlady Angie is planning to adopt yet ANOTHER child. This time it's an orphan boy from the Czech Republic. She met the boy at a Catholic orphanage during filming of her latest film called Wanted.

Bartender, please cut her off!

SOURCE

Off again

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson broke up again.

A source told PEOPLE they split just before Memorial Day and that, "They're still friends."

They previously broke up last Christmas and reconciled around Valentine's Day so expect them to get back together around the 4th of July.

What the fuck?

What is wrong with these girls? They went from monkey-looking babies to kind of cute kids, to actually pretty preteens, to Just. Fucking. Creepy. I think they got abducted around age 15 by aliens. Where the hell was Uncle Jesse? He must have been playing a gig with the Rippers.

Paris Hilton Update - Still in Jail

So this is the actual mugshot, because we care.

So far, so good, according to TMZ. The staff is saying Paris is a "model citizen," being very polite and gracious. Well, duh! She wants to get out early.

She's in solitary - a 12X8 foot cell with a bunk bed, a toilet, and a wash basin with two windows. She has to wear an orange jumpsuit which is not hot, but the good news is, she gets to keep her hair extensions!

So far she has not been raped, shanked, or pooped on, so we can all rest assured. In fact, she seems to be getting along quite well with her fellow inmates. Word is she's very excited about being invited to a blanket party.

Ut oh Minnillio!

"I'm so hot and crazy, just like Angelina."

They totally copied off of Omarossa and Janice Dickinson.

So yesterday, these pictures of Lindsay Lohan acting like a psychopathic idiot surfaced. Well today, the mystery friend in those pictures has been identified as sweet little Vanessa Minnillo.

PAGE SIX reports that these photos may mean trouble for Vanessa's future career. They also reveal that Vanessa is kind of a bitch:


' When producers flew her to Los Angeles to cover the Grammys, "she was extremely high maintenance," said one source. "She insisted they fly her own hair and makeup people and her personal assistant out with her every time she flew to L.A. She only flew first class and stayed at the Four Seasons, and then she didn't want to work.

"Vanessa wants to be a celebrity, not interview them," said the source. "She wouldn't conduct post-show interviews because she wanted to party. She expected to be paid a full-time salary for a part-time job."

Page Six spotted Minnillo at one of the fall fashion shows changing seats for 15 minutes until she was satisfied. She's been known to bark orders at cocktail waitresses and cause scenes when she goes club hopping at night.

In April, we reported that Minnillo had moved in with Lachey in Los Angeles, where she's hoping for a movie career.

A rep for Minnillo denied any "diva behavior" and told Page Six, "She chose to leave 'ET' because her contract ended. This is the first I've heard about any bad behavior." '


Poor Nick thought he was finally getting a nice, normal girl. Maybe he should just turn to dudes.

Sarah Silverman gives Paris a proper send-off to jail

Sarah rules!

And it begins...

Paris turned herself in to authorities last night, shortly after the MTV Movie Awards. Her mug shot was released. Not surprisingly, she struck a pose. (She should've put a little powder on first though.)

TMZ

A tiger never changes its dimples

Did anyone think Mario Lopez would really change his ways (has anyone even seen that Doritos girl since their divorce?) and be faithful to Karina Smirnoff? Wait, let me rephrase that: Did anyone, besides my mom, think Mario Lopez would really change his ways ?

STAR reports that he was 'caught canoodling in a casino with a mystery blonde just six days after enjoying a poolside lovefest with his girlfriend', Karina. This all went down on May 19th at Harrah's New Orleans Casino & Hotel.

Oh Karina dear, cha-cah far away from the cheating bastard. You have an open invitation to come over my house to get drunk, watch Saved By the Bell, and make fun of AC Slater's Jerri Curl mullet and acid-washed jeans.

Promises Made, Promises Broken

Here's Lindsay Lohan spotted outside a gym near Promises, the rehab facility where she is currently checked in. Just like Britney, she got bored with the whole working on sobriety in seclusion thing and left for a few hours to "work out." Please, the only part of her body that is getting a workout is her left nostril.

It was also reported today that Lindsay is getting another hall pass so she can..wait for it, celebrate her 21st birthday at a NIGHTCLUB!

The doctors at Promises must have gotten their license from the same place as Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.

SOURCE

Asshat of the Week

I know I'm being a lazy bum today and only posting YouTubes of So You Think You Can Dance, bite me! Anyway, this guy's dad gets the honor of Asshat of the Week.

See Myles' dad is just so embarrassed his son would rather dance than play football. He's probably afraid he's also a queer (you know he uses that word) The fuckhead even says "I had it all" when talking about his son.

I have a small suspicion that this backstory may be a set up for Asshat Dad's inevitable redemption later in the season when Myles needs votes, or maybe I'm just hoping it's that because that would mean there was one less douchebag homophobe in the world. I mean seriously, parents like this is the reason some kids commit suicide.

This Guy Rules!

If you don't watch So You Think You Can Dance (which you should, especially if you are having American Idol withdrawal--it's like American Idol methadone), you missed this guy. His name is Bryan Gaynor and he has scoliosis.

Talk about making the best out of what you have. I'll admit it, I teared up! Check him out, he's awesome! I wish I could do the robot.

I thought he was broke

Michael Jackson has purchased the publishing rights for Eminem's back catalogue.

Wacko bought Famous Music LLC from Viacom for an undisclosed amount and now owns the rights to songs by Shakira, Beck, and Bjork, as well as Eminem under the transaction.

He said, "This is a milestone event for Sony/ATV Music Publishing. The diverse collection of songs in this catalogue range from timeless classics to contemporary hits, and I am pleased to add the acquisition of Famous Music to Sony/ ATV."

So I guess this means we'll be hearing "Stan" in a Nike commercial soon!

SOURCE