What the Asshats Are Up To

"I keep fucking that King guy and all he gives me are burgers! He's supposed to be a damn King!"

"Can it really shoot out fire? Can I see?"

"Foiled again!! It's ok Suri, we'll get out of here someday. Nine years at the most."

(Paris and Elisha Cuthbert) "Ok, so if you're gonna be my new best friend, there are some ground rules you'll need to follow. First, I'm the hot one. Second, you can't wear underwear. Third, you can't blame me when you go to rehab, which you will. "

(Pam and Tommy) "Soccer practice again tomorrow?"