Random shit I found on YouTube

I totally agree with Obama on this issue:





This is begging for a disco remix!

ASSHAT OF THE WEEK!

Hulk Hogan went on Larry King Live attempting to do some damage control for his trainwreck of a family and ended up making it worse. Hulk said that Nick's accident was meant to happen by God to make Nick and John Graziano "better people."

Uh, I'm no doctor or theologist, but I would think that not being paralyzed is better than being paralyzed (like John is). Isn't there a story in the Bible about how Jesus healed a man that couldn't walk? So, that would lead me to believe that God prefers the opposite of Hulk said.

Hulk also said that everything happens for a reason and that it is in God's hands.

On a related note, God responded to Hulk's comments saying "Leave me out of this brother."

Denial ain't just a river in Malawi

There have recently been rumors that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are headed for divorce and that Madonna has hired Heather Mills' attorney.

Now Madonna's PR rep has said that the reports are “completely untrue” and the couple are still together.

Yeah, and the couple is also working on Swept Away 2.

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Oh great, now she'll want to adopt all the Fraggles

There are reportedly talks to make a new Muppets movie and Saint Angelina is considering starring in the film.

A source said, "The idea is to re-launch the Muppets with a big name and a big movie. Angelina is a big Muppets fan and being so passionate about kids there's a very real chance that she'll take this project on. Even Brad might want to have Miss Piggy as a love interest!"

Angelina better watch out. Miss Piggy's hot. She'll pull an Angelina and steal Brad.

No word on whether Daisy De La Hoya has signed on to play Janice.

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Clooney don't like fake titties

The latest rumor in the big George-Sarah Larson split (does anyone really still care?) comes from In Touch Weekly, who claims it was because Sarah had a boob job.

A source told the magazine, "George really didn't want her to get the boob job. Although she asked George if she could do her recovery at his house and he agreed."

Sarah's next step? Playboy of course. The source added, "She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she's famous, she would never go back to waitressing."

Famous?

Christ! Yeah, I guess by today's standards. Fear Factor, skanky pictures, sleep with someone famous, boob job, Playboy. You know a reality show's next.

Ugh. Remember the good old days when people got famous based on actual talent?

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Another day, another baby

Tori Spelling gave birth to her second child with husband Dean McDermott yesterday by C-section.

Stella Doreen McDermott was born at 3:13 p.m. and weighed in at 6lbs., 8 oz.

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The magic of live TV

Last night on WWE Raw, Vince McMahon began his Million Dollar Mania giveaway,where every Monday night during the live broadcast he will randomly call people that registered on wwe.com and give them various amounts of cash totaling one million dollars.

The very first winner had one of those callback tones where instead of ringing, you hear music. And he had the best song ever!



This just may have been the first live televised RickRoll! Now, I would say it was staged, but WWE writers aren't that creative and Vince McMahon is not that good of an actor. Check out the awesome look of confusion on his face! And then? He HANGS UP on the guy! So then he tries to call the number again. And the song plays again while the commentators are yelling "PICK UP THE PHONE YOU IDIOT!" The guy finally answers and wins $200,000.00!

Which brings me to a rant about all of last night's winners. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHATS? Every single one of them sounded like they were on Prozac, all level and mellow.. Are you kidding me? They were like "Hello?" (like they don't know who's calling), and then when Vince told them they won thousands of dollars, they're like "wow...uh...thanks?" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Meanwhile, me and millions of other people are sitting there with our fingers crossed and with Rick Astley all cued up to go so it will play in the background when we answer, praying the phone will ring and we'll finally be able to pay for gas and food in the same week.

But I guess not being called is better than being called, winning $2.00 and then having to watch the next person win $200,000.00 (3:15):



At least they got to hear Jillian's beautiful voice.

Can we get an EPT test just to make sure?

Last week, there were rumors that Paris Hilton was pregnant after photos spread of her allegedly sporting a baby bump. Paris seems to have squashed those rumors by drinking and smoking in Vegas Friday night while filming her new stupid reality show where girls that were deemed "too low class" for Flavor of Love and Rock of Love compete to become Paris's BFF.

Paris reportedly drank pink champagne at dinner and vodka, tequila, and smoked cigarettes later that night at Vegas nightclubs.

I'm not celebrating yet. Personally I think people are giving the skank way too much credit to think she wouldn't drink and smoke if she were pregnant. I mean, the bitch doesn't feed her pets and keeps them in the closet.


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I love you, you love me, Nicole is now a good mommy

"Wow Paris, you gained weight!"

For some reason I thought Barney was shot dead sometime around 1995.

If not, he should have been.

Don't agree? Fine, then tell me you can watch this without shoving broken glass in your eyes and ears:

Honorabla Mention

Jessica Alba gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday in Los Angeles. Jessica and husband Cash Warren named their daughter Honor Marie Warren. How cool would it if that kid became a judge?

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Alanis wants Ryan to know, that she's happy for him...

She wishes nothing but,the best for them both...

Really! On former fiancee Ryan Reynolds' engagement to Scarlett Johansson, she told Newsweek, "I'm really happy for him."

No word on whether Alanis also hopes that every time she scratches her nails down someone else's back that Ryan feels it. You know she does though.

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Wait what? Who had a baby?

It was announced today that Vin Diesel and his girlfriend, model Paloma Jimenez, had a baby girl back on April 2nd.

Ok, everyone that thought Vin Diesel was gay raise your hand.

Put your hand down Vin.

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Buffy 101

Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be the subject of a three-day academic conference at Henderson State University in Little Rock, AK.

Philosophy professor Kevin Durand said on Buffy, "It has staying power. It's like I tell my students in philosophy a lot of times: We're not so much about necessarily finding all the answers as wanting to ask better questions. 'Buffy,' I think, does that. 'Buffy' never really leaves you with nice, pat answers. You have even more questions than when you started."

Other works by creator Joss Whedon will be covered as well. Some topics that will be discussed:"Buffy and Feminism," "Buffy and Identity," "Gender Stereotypes and the Image of Domesticity in 'Firefly,' " " 'Firefly': The Illusive Safety of Big Damn Heroes" and a Durand favorite by a British scholar, "Hero's Journey, Heroine's Return: Buffy, Eurydice and the Orpheus Myth." Strangely,"Buffy and my easy credit," was left off the list.

If I lived in Little Rock, I'd go just for the hot Buffy/Spike episodes!

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Rockstar: KISS?

Because they haven't made enough money yet, KISS founding members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are in talks to launch an "American Idol style" tv show to find four new replacements for KISS so the band can continue on long after they retire.

Manager Doc McGhee said, "I believe that KISS can go on forever. I believe that there is a way - and we are talking to people and we're pretty close to getting it done - about finding the four new members of KISS."

Well, it worked for Menudo.

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Asshats of the Week

Every single person who saw this happen and did nothing.

Are we as a society really here already? If so, that's really fucking depressing.

A disturbing surveillance video showing an elderly man getting hit by a car and then being ignored by bystanders has shocked — and shamed — many in Hartford, Conn.

Angel Arce Torres, 78, was trying to cross the street when a Honda plowed into him, sending him flying and leaving him lying crumpled and bleeding in the middle of the street. The driver of the car did not stop; but, even more disturbingly, passing cars and people on the sidewalk nearby did nothing to help Torres.

As Torres lay in the street, nine cars passed him without stopping. More than 40 seconds went by before anyone even stepped off the sidewalk to get a closer look. But no one went over to Torres' body to try to help or even divert traffic.

Finally, after about a minute and a half, a police car responding to a different call happened upon the scene and an ambulance was called.

The accident occurred last Friday, but Hartford's police chief released the traffic surveillance video on Wednesday, hoping to get information on the hit-and-run driver and make an arrest.

Chief Daryl Roberts also expressed outrage in a news conference Wednesday, saying "we no longer have a moral compass."

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