In "Who Asked?" News

"We've been recyclin' with Mr. Al Gore............"

Burnt out as I am, you know I couldn't pass up an opportunity to post when my beloved Axl decides to issue an out of nowhere and pointless press release. So in the latest one released today on his website, Mr. Rose explains, in great length as usual, why (nu) GN'R did not play one of last Saturday's Live Earth shows.

Guns N' Roses or myself will not be performing at Rio Live Earth or Live Earth for a couple of reasons. The first is that we were not asked until the last couple weeks while we were on tour in Australia and have upcoming sold-out dates already rescheduled in Japan. Our gear is already en route to Japan for these shows. We have attempted to find a solution to be able to perform in Rio, but unfortunately none has been suggested.

I was asked to perform individually with Lenny Kravitz by the promoters and Mr. Gore. As we were working this out, Lenny unfortunately became injured and temporarily canceled his involvement from the event. According to the promoters, by the time they had reconfirmed Lenny's performance, there wasn't enough time to arrange flights for myself to Brazil and then to Japan for our upcoming shows. Unfortunately, I was not informed that Lenny's performance was reconfirmed until our own explorations and in following the media surrounding the event today, which is Saturday morning here in Australia and Friday in Brazil.

Guns N' Roses or I were not asked to play anywhere else such as Japan or Australia (as we are already in the regions on tour) and in which we have formally offered to perform but the offer of our involvement was declined.

We wish all involved, the performers, the organizers, the fans and audiences around the world all the best and a very successful event.

Thank you,
Axl Rose

Um, ok? I'm not sure who asked. Even I didn't, and I implore you to find a bigger nutswinger than me.

But now that he's explaining things, hey Axl, how come you didn't play the American Idol finale? Or Eva Longoria and Tony Parker's wedding reception? Or Philadelphia that day in 2002?



You know, you could make it all better though. I have a birthday coming up on Friday. Why don't you give Slash, Duff, Matt, and Izzy a call and give those other dudes a day off? Say about 4 (that's 8 your time)? I'll even dread my hair. (If you can't make it though, I expect a press release.) Ok, call me.

Sorry, it's been a busy day for me

Haven't had a chance to post so in the meantime, for your viewing pleasure, here's a clip from Batshit Abdul's new reality show, Hey Paula!

They are married, but it's not the one that counts

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were married at a small civil ceremony (which is required by French law) at Paris's city hall on Friday, but they are still having a big church wedding and reception tomorrow.

FROM PEOPLE:
' "They are married. They were married here by the Mayor of Paris, Monsieur Bertrand Delanoë," a spokesperson for the 4th Arrondisement district confirmed to PEOPLE.

The bride's guests arrived in a Hummer with California plates around 2:45 p.m. Exactly four minutes later, Longoria stepped out of one of the other limos wearing a rose Empire-waist mini dress. She waved to cheering fans on her way into the building. The groom appeared just before 3, greeting officials amid a chorus of cheers and calls of "To-nee!"

With the civil service complete, the newlyweds will cement their union with a ceremony at the Church of Saint Germain l'Auxerriois on Saturday.

Invited guests – about 250 of them – include Desperate Housewives pals Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Nicollette Sheridan, James Denton, Ricardo Chavira and the show's creator Marc Cherry (Marcia Cross sent her regrets because she couldn't leave her twin babies).

Also expected are Parker's San Antonio Spurs teammates, coaches and friends, as well as Michael Douglas and wife Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jessica Alba and boyfriend Cash Warren.

Longoria and Parker got engaged in November and immediately made plans to have what her rep called a "big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends" in Parker's native France.

Saturday's guests can look forward to a lavish reception at the Chateau of Vaux le Vicomte just outside Paris, where "the big color theme is red," says a source. "It's going to be a fairy-tale wedding."

Friday's ceremony capped off a week of partying, shopping and socializing, including a his-and-her bachelor party in St. Tropez. The newlyweds have been staying in an $11,000-a-night suite at the Park Hyatt Paris Vendome hotel.

"Paris is such a romantic city," says a source close to the couple. "They are so excited to get married there." '

Congrats? Can I say that yet? I'm so confused.

Holy shit, she really is pregnant! How is that possible?

I still don't understand how it's possible, but Nicole Richie is pregnant with Joel Madden's child! Multiple sources (not including Nicole) have confirmed to US Weekly that she is 12 weeks into her pregnancy. I predict it will be a boy. I also predict the child will weigh .5 lbs and will be wearing eyeliner.

If these two kids can't make it.....

Say it ain't so!! Pete Doherty and Kate Moss are over! There are even rumors that Kate has hired security guards to keep him away after kicking him out of her house and to the curb (which coincidentally, is his old home) after he was caught slipping his diseased,um, peter, in another woman.

Removal men were spotted at Kate's house taking his piano, guitars, and needles away.

SOURCE

Happy (belated) July 4th!

No point, you're gonna have to just drain it.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July and that you listened to the advice of the reformed and newly wise Paris Hilton who posted on her MySpace:

"Happy 4th of July everyone, and remember to be responsible and have a designated driver!"

Paris even set a wonderful example by having three designated drivers. In fact, she had a few non-designated drivers as well. And a couple doormen. And the guy that delivered the beer. And another Greek Shipping heir.

Hope everyone had as much fun and enjoyed as many hot dogs as Paris did this Independence Day!

Christina's gonna be changing some dirrty diapers soon!

Congrats to Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman!! E! has confirmed that the two are expecting their first child together! There hasn't been any further information as to when the little Brat is due.

SOURCE

The Simple Crackhead Life

Nicole Richie wants to make it clear that while she was a drug addict, she has never been under a bridge (though Anthony Kiedis has claimed to have spotted her there once) and she never, ever went without footwear.

In a recent interview for Nylon magazine Nic said, "When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes."

Uh, yeah, that's because your father is Lionel Richie moron! Maybe if he didn't adopt you, you would have ended up under a bridge and not having any Christian Louboutins to protect your feet! Speaking of being a moron, crack and heroin are two different drugs. Care to educate her Whitney?

"CRACK IS WHACK!! KISS MY ASS!"

Thanks Whit!

SOURCE

Dumb Lawsuit of the Day

Remember that flop of a show called Armed & Famous where C-list stars underwent police training and rode along with cops on actual calls?

Me neither. Anyway Jack Osbourne has been named in a recent lawsuit filed by a woman in Indiana whose home was raided by mistake during a pursuit of a fugitive by the police unit (Jack included) and camera crew during a taping of the show back in January. The woman, named Lyndsay Clements, claims she was embarrased when footage of her handcuffed in her nightgown was aired. She is demanding 1 million dollars in the lawsuit.

I'm perplexed by this. Don't you have to sign a release to be shown on TV? Did they actually show her face or did they blur it like on Cops? Because if her face was blurred, no one would know who she was. Actually, even if her face wasn't blurred, no one would know because I'm pretty sure nobody actually watched that show. Of course, now everyone will know who she is. So yeah,way to go, Lyndsay Clements!

SOURCE

Lets play What the Fuck is on Mary Kate Olsen's legs?

Still a little shelf life left in those spices

Hey Ginger, Nicole Kidman called. She wants her Far and Away look back!

YESSS, dreams do come true!! The Spice Girls are reuniting!!! Zig-a-zig-ahh!

The group will release a greatest-hits album which will consist of "Wannabe" repeated ten times and starting in December, will lip-sync together on an 11-date world tour in December with shows in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York City, London, Cologne, Madrid, Beijing, Hong Kong, Sydney, Capetown and Buenos Aires.

"We are celebrating the past!" said Geri "Ginger" Halliwell.

"No shit!" said me.

Baby Spice Emma Bunton said"I want to be a Spice Girl again. We are like sisters and we have our arguments, but by the end of the day we get back together." Doesn't she mean decade?

Sporty Spice, Mel C called the tour " a proper good farewell to our fans." Who knew the fans have been waiting ten years for a farewell? On being the last Spice Girl to agree to the reunion, she said"A girl is allowed to change her mind. We only started serious discussions this year. We feel the time is right. I'm very, very excited." Doesn't she mean very, very broke?

Girl Power!!!

SOURCE

The only part of the Larry King Paris Hilton interview worth watching!

Busted!! Dumbass couldn't even think to say John 3:16.

Stock on on your Valtrex boys, Paris is Free!

It seems weird to follow the Chris Benoit story with something as trivial as Paris Hilton being released from prison, but it's everywhere so it must be done. She was released just after midnight this morning. So now she's off to make the world a better place, worship the lord, and build halfway homes for female inmates.

BWAHHHAAHHHHHAAA!!!!!

Oh and in case you haven't heard, she'll be on Larry King tomorrow night!



TMZ posted the following illustrated Thank You card Paris made for Harvey Levin (managing editor of TMZ) Yeah, it's for real:



Actress, singer, humanitarian, philanthropist, author, and now artist. Is there anything this remarkable young woman cannot do.? She certainly is special.

Still in shock: Chris Benoit and family dead

So last night I put on my sweats, poured a Mojito, and settled in for a 3 hour long Raw which was supposed to be a "Tribute to Mr. McMahon, " going along with the whole fake murder storyline from a couple weeks ago. There were to be touching speeches by the wrestlers, retrospective clips, and even an investigation.

How creepy that wrestling fans got exactly that, but instead of an over-the-top, scripted tribute, we got a real one, for Chris Benoit.

The bodies of Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their young song Daniel were discovered by Fayette County sheriffs at their Atlanta home yesterday around 4PM. The police were asked to do a "wellness" check on Benoit after he cancelled several appointments, including an appearance at Sunday night's Vengeance Pay-Per-View where we was to win the ECW Championship, due to "family issues." He reportedly sent out "curious text messages" early Sunday morning which prompted friends to alert Richard Hering, VP of Government Relations for WWE, Inc.

The cause of the deaths were not immediately released. Last night's live Monday Night RAW event was cancelled and instead the WWE aired some of Benoit's greatest matches (including one from WCW in 1994 where Nancy, a valet character known as "Woman, " cheered him on from beside the ring) and clips of other wrestlers crying and telling of what a great, respectful, and devoted man Benoit was. They cried, fans cried, it lasted the entire three hours. The last match they showed was Chris's win of the Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 20. He celebrated in the ring with his best friend, Eddie Guerrero (who died at age 38 in 2005 of heart failure).

Then it came out that the deaths were being investigated a double murder-suicide with Benoit being the killer. HUH? This guy, that not one person ever had anything bad to say about, that was devoted to wrestling for over 20 years, and taught his kids to always be respectful and polite (he even made his son wear a suit and tie whenever his family would visit him at a show) just snapped and strangled (cause of death was not officially released, but that is what they are saying) his wife and child?? I don't get it.

There is a conflicting rumor that his wife killed the son and he killed her in a rage after discovering what she'd done and then hung himself.

It is all speculation at this point, until the police release a full report to the public (apparently the WWE has further information but was asked by the Fayette County Sheriff’s Department not to release it), we can only wonder what could have caused this horrible tragedy.

wwe.com

UPDATED 3:30PM -
FROM TMZ.com:
' Officials have confirmed the horrifying details in the deaths of wrestling superstar Chris Benoit and his family/

In a statement by a member of the Fayetteville Sheriff's Department, "Mr, Benoit had sometime, possibly Friday, murdered his wife by asphyxiation. Sometime shortly after that, the same for his son Daniel and sometime later ... committed suicide by hanging himself in the basement area."

According to officials, Nancy was bound at the wrists and feet, with a towel wrapped around her body, and blood was found underneath her head. A Bible was also reportedly found near each one of the bodies.

Police have also confirmed that prescription drugs and steroids were found in the house.

Benoit was found hanging in a weight room in his house. Cops say that he used a cord from one of his workout machines as a makeshift noose. Authorities also believe that Benoit died on Saturday. '

I'm literally sick to my stomach. I'm also sick that I spent three hours yesterday being sad and crying over what a great guy he was. Crazy fuck! Unbelievable.

What the Asshats Are Up To

'Mr. Murphy, are you my daddy?"

"Hey Suri, pull my finger!"

"One, two, three---wait a minute. Zahara?"

Charlie's Angels 3: Full Throttle To Video

"Here's your dry cleaning, can I be of any further assistance?"

"No, I wasn't just working on the bike...why do you ask bloke?"