One Night at Britney's

So like last night, Britney and bff Sam Lutfi were driving around Bev Hills and scoping out the quickie marts. They got into a disagreement about Slurpees or something like that and Brit jumped out of the car crying once they got back to her house.

Rather than going inside, she sat on the curb crying while her dog London dreamed of a normal life.

When a member of the paparazzi asked if she was ok, Britney said "I'm fine. I'm . . . having a nice time with my dog." London said, "At least one of us is, can you let me go now so I can go hump a pillow?"

Then Brit got into a car with another photographer named Filipe Teixeria. They went to Ralph's supermarket and then returned back to Brit's. Another pap joined them and the three went inside and had a Frappuccino-induced threesome. (Look for the video coming soon: "Two guys, one girl, and a Starbucks cup.")

A half hour later, guess who comes to the door, Adnan Ghalib, Brit's on again/off again/"I don't know him" paparazzo boyfriend who may or may not be pimping photos of Britney out for cash. But guess what? Adnan was turned away at the gate.

Then Sam sent Adnan some text messages calling him a "manic trigger" for Britney and even said that if the two are together anymore it "will kill her."

Then the Po-po showed up! (Brit's security team called them.) Britney drove out through the gates and paparazzi ran after her. The cops gave out parking tickets to the paps that were illegally parked.

Now it was about time for a family reunion, wouldn't ya say? Dad Jamie and mom of the century Lynne arrived a Brit's estate at 9p.m. But Britney wasn't having that and ran out again (Sometime in between the cops and the parents, Britney came back. I don't know, this shit's hard to follow.). This time she jumped into a car with Adnan.

But wait, there's more!!! His car got a flat tire. They pulled into a gas station (luckily Brit is an expert at those!) and inflated the tire.

Then they returned to the house again around 11 and Adnan left.

Then Lynne and Britney went out to a drug store at 1:30a.m.

Then they returned. Then Britney took a shit. Then Lynne made some tea and left a message for Mary Hart. Then Britney ate some Fun Dip. Then the house blew up.

SOURCE