Friday, February 2, 2007

Babe, I Got You Babe..I Got You Babe...

Bulletin - Groundhog Day 2007 arrived!

Phil did not see his shadow!

There will be an early Spring!


In related news, there is some scandal surrounding Punxsutawney Phil. Sources say he has become extremely difficult to work with. Now some incriminating photos have popped up on the recently opened website . The town of Punxsutawney and Donald Trump are considering dethroning him. He has an interview scheduled with Matt Lauer and is considering checking into the Wonderland rehab facility. We'll keep you posted.

Here are the pics:

Real? Fake?

There's been a lot of hoopla about the sex scene between Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen in the upcoming Factory Girl. Yawn. My guess is the movie sucks and the producers are hoping the promise of real porn will get people to go see it who weren't planning to otherwise. Dumbasses, it didn't work for Brown Bunny and it won't work for this one. Plus, it will be on YouTube any day now.

CLICK HERE to see uncensored screenshots.

Translation: HELP!!!!

Katie Holmes recently gave her first post-sham marriage interview to Harper's Bazaar. Here are the answers Tom programmed:

On Tom and Suri: "I have a husband and children that I adore. I have a career that I really love. When I sit back and reflect, it's – wow!"

"I am very grateful. Tom makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and has since the day I met him. I love being with him. I love calling him husband."

On motherhood: "I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women – to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' "

"I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means – is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? – and figuring out how to really help her."

On her {cough} career: "I have a whole new set of responsibilities," she says. "My work is very important to me. My family is very important to me. When I go to work, it will be the right thing, worth my time and worth my time away from my family."


I guess this means they won't be starring in 8 Miles of Glitter together :(

See Eminem said he had a six month relationship with Mariah but then the crazy came out and he ended it. Mariah denied ever dating him. So Eminem dissed Mariah on his new album.

Now Mariah won't shut up about it. She tells Playboy in a recent interview, "Something is clearly askew with him and I'm not quite sure what it is. I'm curious as to why he's so obsessed with me. I never got an apology letter, by the way... then again, I wasn't exactly searching my mailbox for it."

Sounds like she's the one obsessed with him. I feel bad for Em, he seems to get stuck with all the crazy bitches.


Thursday, February 1, 2007

Reh Dogg Tribute of the week

It's so awesome that I am not the only one that appreciates the lyrically gifted artiste that is Reh Dogg ( Here is one of many well-deserved tributes to him.

Big MAC, Mc DLT, A Quarter Pounder With Some Cheese, And Some Poontang

While on her quest to attain adequateness, Lindsay is using her time (all 22 minutes a day of it) in rehab to think about the things that really matter in life: meaningless sex and Big Macs.

' has learned that Lohan, 20, who entered L.A.'s Wonderland rehab center on Jan. 18 to treat her addiction issues, has been sending bachelor-about-town Brody Jenner, 23, sexy text messages for the last couple weeks.

We've eye-balled one particularly flirtatious text-message that Lohan sent Jenner - former flame of Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad - last Saturday night in which the 12-stepper, among other requests, texted that all she wanted was "McDonald's and sex."

When asked by to comment on Lohan's textual pursuit, Jenner, who just signed a deal to be a spokesman for Scope mouthwash, said, "Sorry, dude. I don't text and tell." A rep for Lohan couldn't be reached for comment. '

What's stopping her from going out and getting it? She leaves every day to go shopping anyway!

Anyway, congrats to Brody on his new ad campaign. That was very smart of Scope to choose him, considering he's dated Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie, Lauren Conrad and now Lindsay.
We managed to get a sneak peek at the his first advertisement:

I always thought he'd be more of a swallower

From STAR:

' While at the AOL gift suite in Park City, Utah, last week for the Sundance Film Festival, Justin shocked onlookers with an ever-so-icky joke to fellow suite-goer Christina Ricci. "Christina said to Justin, 'I'm thirsty,'" a source tells Star. "Justin responded to her, 'Come here, I'll spit in your mouth!" Ewww!!! (Fear not: Christina didn't take Justin up on his offer!)

The source also adds that Justin didn't want any employees from the suite bothering him, let alone fans! Wow, Justin is a closet diva! '

Ok, it could have been a hell of a lot worse than spit, but still... Forget Jessica Biel Justin, you should hook up with Pumkin!

Congrats Tim!!

' February 1, 2007 -- THIS explains why style maven Tim Gunn has not yet signed on for the new season of "Project Runway" - he's been lining up a new job. Expect an announcement today from Liz Claiborne Inc. that Gunn, 53, is joining the firm as chief creative officer, The Post's Adam Buckman has learned. That means Gunn is leaving Parsons The New School for Design, where he's been chairman of the fashion design department since 2000 (and with Parsons for 23 years). Sources said his new job, set to start in March, will not prevent him from participating in "Runway" season No. 4. '

YAY!!! Sounds like he's gonna make it work to be on the next season of Project Runway!

Zoltar is two-for-two!

Ok, I will admit it was Zoltar again who told me that Courtney Love's offer to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol was the result of a prankcall.

Nigel Lythgoe said in a statement yesterday:
"I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them."

After learning of Lythgoe's denial on Wednesday, Love told Us Weekly it was possible she was duped by a prank caller.

Here's what the ever eloquent Courtney had to say on her website:

" This kerfuffle is NONSENSE, i said to a friend who obviously passed igt on the wrong way that it was awierdly brilliant PRANK CALL, if it was NOT a prank call i woul dnever ever do that, ive never watche dthat show except once with my daughter i went to the final night, I couldnt even get ON that show nor would i wantt o and no offense to anyone who has been on that show and wantsto be on that show- i have no interest at this point in my life, im interested in putting this record out- doing films and doiung rock shows this summer and being on the road, and thats what i shall do. US misrepresented and misquoted me and nothing i said was ever meant for any publication. I didnt kn ow it wa sgoing to be a big deal but then again ive been very busy and id ont exactly pay attention to pop culture and id ont read tabloids and idont have a google alert i find lofe fAr easier without those things, good reviews are great biut baqd ones suck and its best to nopt read them at all, i like how Ben Kingsley hasnt readhis own press in 2w0 some years, and i aspire to that- last time i read my press was a Brit piece that had me in bed for three dayus and is wor eoff reading my own press after that, of ocuerse i needmy publicist to tell me who to speak to and who nit to but my days of speaking directly to editors etc are behind me- i was followed by paparazzi all day today and have had to get armed security for the evening so we can have some privacy die to that dumb piece wich is ourt of prder an dout of context its TOTALLY RANDOM "

"I see she is a Lindsay Lohan School of Writing graduate!" - Asshat Hollywood Correspondant Yardy.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

This guy pwns

Simon: "Why are you trying out for American Idol?"

Chris: "I want to make David Hasselhoff cry."

I hope he makes the top 12!

Pickler 2.0's gotta go though.
BTW - Why the frig was she wearing a shirt that says " Blue-Eyed Bombshell?" Her eyes looked brown to me! Is adding color-blindness to her list of sobstories? Wait, don't tell me, in addition to her daddy being paralyzed after a botched murder-suicide attempt, her dreams of becoming a pilot are also crushed now right?


Donald vs. Vince BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING!


So Donald Trump made an appearance via satellite on this past Monday Night Raw. He began a feud with Vince McMahon by one-upping him on "fan appreciation" night and dumping thousands of dollars of [real] cash on fans in attendance. I hope at least some of those fans were the same ones that had to pay to watch the awful Donald vs. Rosie fight a couple weeks ago. They deserve their money back! Expect this publicity stunt to drag on until Wrestlemania.


She's a huge Dogstar fan

Life & Style Weekly reports that Keanu and Jen had a secret date and spent some time together over the holidays at her home.

Is this true or the work of publicists? Too early to tell. I do like the idea of these two together though.


Simon, Randy, and Courtney?

Courtney Love recently revealed to her ' that Idol's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring into whether she would be interested in sitting in as a judge on the hit FOX show.

"He called," Love tells "He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant." '

Courtney was hush-hush about any further details.

Supposedly one of those pesky "sources" scooped to that Lythgoe was considering hiring Love to "replace Paula."

American Idol reps could not immediately be reached for comment.

So what, Paula isn't crazy enough? They want an actual murderer? Someone with even less vocal talent (she is a great songwriter though)? My guess is someone prankcalled Courtney. I can imagine it wouldn't be hard to do.

Donna Martin Refrigerates!

Eonline reports that expectant mother Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott are having a couples-shower for their upcoming baby hosted by Tupperware! Yes, this is news.

That's just awesome to me. Tupperware has been cool ever since Kimberly on Melrose had the split personality and when she became Betsy she was all prim and proper and hosted Tupperware parties. Hey maybe Marcia Cross will come to the party. Wow! 90210, Melrose, Donna's pregnant, Kimberly's pregnant and what seals them all neatly and airtightly together? TUPPERWARE! I'm so deep I make myself cry sometimes.

Anyway Tori is still on the outs with her mom Candy, but her tv mom from the sadly-taken-from-us-before-it's-time show So noTORIous, Loni Anderson will be there.

Brandy Sued for 50 Million

' The parents of a woman killed in a freeway crash involving Brandy sued the actress-singer for $50 millionUS yesterday. The wrongful-death suit claims Brandy was driving recklessly when her Land Rover struck the back of a Honda driven by Awatef Aboudihaj, 38. The suit was filed on behalf of Aboudihaj Ahmed and Labridi Zohra in Los Angeles Superior Court. It comes a day after the California Highway Patrol recommended Brandy be charged with misdemeanour vehicular manslaughter in the Dec. 30 accident. '


In related news: How unfair! Brandy is a celebrity!
From TMZ:

' Black civil rights leaders in Los Angeles claim the California Highway Patrol has made singer/actress Brandy "a political trophy."

The Los Angeles City Attorney is deciding whether to file misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter charges against Brandy, whose Land Rover slammed into a Toyota on the 405 Freeway killing the driver.

Today, Najee Ali, leader of Project Islamic HOPE, said the CHP's recommendation to file charges against the singer "is unfairly targeting her for prosecution because of her celebrity." Ali told TMZ he is organizing an e-mail campaign in the African American community to put pressure on City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo to reject the case.

Delgadillo says "We will treat this case like every other case and treat it very seriously because someone died." '

Um, excuse me? Reject the case because she's a celebrity? What is this, the Vince Neil loophole? Does she think she's getting PUNK'D again? She's not even much of a celebrity anymore. Wasn't there a very special episode of Moesha where the lesson was to take responsibility for your actions?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Damn Harry, you're, um, hairy!

Here's a promotional still from the upcoming play, Equus, starring Harry Potter (aka Daniel Radcliffe) . Don't worry if you feel weird about Harry Potter putting the hurt on your penis though, it's quickly gone after you find out what the play is about. (Unless you're into that kind of thing. Which is kinda gross because personally I find donkeys much sexier.)


Here's what the almighty Wiki says:

" Shaffer was inspired to write his play when he heard of a crime involving a teenage boy's apparently senseless injury to horses. He then set out to construct a fictional account of what might have caused the incident, without knowing any of the details of the crime. The play is posited as a kind of postmodern detective story.

The boy, who worked part-time in the stables where the attack occurred, would take a certain horse out for occasional night rides. Those jaunts functioned as the set piece for an elaborate ritual of exaltation constructed by his anguished psyche.

Delving into Alan's tormented mind causes Dysart to confront his own spiritual atrophy, the result of a modern consumer culture that tolerates only enervated conformity. Dysart reflects: "That boy has known a passion more ferocious than I have felt in any second of my life. And let me tell you something: I envy it. ... I watch [my wife]...night after night—a woman I haven't kissed in six years— and he stands in the dark for an hour, sucking the sweat off his god's hairy cheek!"

Yeah sorry, I didn't understand a lot of those words either. Basically the guy's pretty messed up and may or may not fuck horses but it's artsy and deep so it's ok.

If you can't wait until Sunday

Here's the K-Fed Nationwide Commercial! It's Popozaolicious!

Photo Fun

Congrats to Penelope Cruz who won a Goya Award (Spain's "Oscars" It's Goya, really) I'm sorry but it looks like the "meteor" in Joe Dirt.

"Hey bitch you talkin' about Justin? You best shut your damn mouth! I'll cut you!"

Look at that dog (that actual dog I mean, not Pete) He smells something.

Paris accompanied Nicole on her audition to star in the remake of the video for Addicted To Love.


What's Going On With Diddy and Sienna

So Sienna and [new father of twins] Diddy have been hanging everywhere lately--they were seen together at the Sundance Film Festival and most recently, Bungalow 8. Their reps insist they are just friends.

Innocent right? So then how come this morning Diddy sent a bodyguard over to try to delete this photo of him dropping her off at her hotel?

Methinks Kimmy's gonna be sporting some new bling pretty soon.


Monday, January 29, 2007

I Totally Called It!

Last week, I posted that Hilary Duff was on the verge of taking a dip in the drunken skanky waters now that she's "free."

Guess what? She recently got wasted at everyone's favorite hangout Hyde.

Here's the report from UsWeekly:

' Hilary Duff was far from her usual goody-two-shoes self on January 25 when she and older sister Haylie showed up at L.A. club Hyde with a huge entourage.

Our tattler tells us that Hilary -- who has been single since splitting in November from Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden (he's currently dating Nicole Richie) -- arrived arm-in-arm with her sis' a little after 11 p.m., looking tipsy. Hilary, 19, soon was teetering over to the women’s restroom with one of her girlfriends and a "flamboyant" male friend. “It was kind of inappropriate,” the onlooker sneers. “She was pretty drunk and staggering around the bathroom, bumping into people and shrieking that her gay male friend had a vagina so it was okay for him to be there.”

The sisters continued to party Paris Hilton-style throughout the night at a VIP table, where our source says they were “all over” their two man-dates. Haylie 21, whispered in the ear of her 30-ish-year-old date while kissing his neck. Hilary perched on her date’s lap, laughing and flirting with her own older man. Says the source: “When I’ve seen Hilary out in the past, she has been relatively composed, but tonight she was acting pretty wild.” '

I have to admit, I had a little help from my buddy Zoltar on this one. So Zoltar, what do you predict next for Hil?


What Are the Asshats Up To?

""Rehab is a blast! I'm having so much fun in there! I think I'll go back tomorrow for an hour or so after my ass-bleaching appointment!"

"Hold still Tom, you got some loose thetans!"

Here's my aunt Thelma on the way to bingo with her lucky hat and Marlboro Menthols. Wait, I'm sorry, that's Britney on her way to [laugh, choke, gag] dance rehearsals.

"Careful Ferg, I know a rubber chicken is funny but don't wet your pants again!"

"How dare we not get any privacy in the bushes! Do you know who I am?? "

Rachel McAdams continues to suffer from a Manic Panic mishap.


IN (?):

Well, she's already got the perfect outfit!

Rumor is that J-Lo and Ratboy are looking into joining Scientology. Now a report is out that Jennifer's father has been a Scientologist for 20 years.

"It's weird people want to paint [Scientology] in a negative way," Jen is quoted as saying. "It's just sad that people would look at it in that way."

I don't know which is be more annoying: the whole Bennifer thing or J-Lo as a S$ientologist. Tough one.


From The New York Daily News:

Victoria Beckham is telling pals she has no intention of joining the Church of Scientology, despite her close friendship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard.

Says another pal: "It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke." '

Ut oh, Tom's gonna be pissed about that one. I bet he'll make Katie stop being friends with Posh.



J-Hud and Eddie are two for two

Female Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries
Helen Mirren / ELIZABETH I

Male Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries
Jeremy Irons / ELIZABETH I

Female Actor in a Comedy Series
America Ferrera / UGLY BETTY

Male Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin / 30 ROCK

Ensemble in a Comedy Series

Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Eddie Murphy / DREAMGIRLS

Life Achievement Award
Julie Andrews

Female Actor in a Drama Series
Chandra Wilson / GREY’S ANATOMY

Male Actor in a Drama Series
Hugh Laurie / HOUSE

Ensemble in a Drama Series

Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Jennifer Hudson / DREAMGIRLS

Male Actor in a Leading Role

Female Actor in a Leading Role
Helen Mirren / THE QUEEN

Ensemble Cast of a Motion Picture