Thursday, July 3, 2008


There may have been something to those Madonna rumors after all. The New York Daily News has reported that Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia have officially have split.

The anonymous source said A-Rod and Cynthia have been having``problems'' for about three months.

Yesterday there were rumors that Cynthia was on a romantic getaway with Lenny Kravitz (who also share the same manager as A-Rod and Madonna) but her mother denied that rumor:
``She is not! I know that.''

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

First pic of one of Angelina's babies!!!

Look, Shiloh's holding her:

HAHAHAHA!! Gotcha!!! That's not a real baby! And, Zahara rules!

Saint Angelina's obstetrician, Dr. Michel Sussmann, held that press conference to let the people of the world know that...................Angelina has NOT yet given birth. Are you freaking kidding??

The doctor did assure everyone that Angie is ok.

"Everything is normal. She is very well, and she's okay. ... Brad and Angelina want everyone to know that everything is going well."

He added that
"The babies will arrive in the weeks to come."

WEEKS???!!!! They are playing with our emotions!!! Dirty French teases!

Dr. Sussman said that the reason Angelina was in the hospital was because,
"It is simply a visit of surveillance, no birth," and that "she will stay in the hospital until the birth. I will stay with her."


What the hell kind of a famewhore is this doctor anyway? Who holds a freaking press conference for their patient?

THIS JUST IN: Madonna and Guy Ritchie have hired Dr. Michel Sussmann as their new spokesperson. Dr. Sussmann held another press conference and in it he assured everyone that
"Everything is normal. They are very well. ... Madonna and Guy want everyone to know that everything is going well."

The best news you'll hear all day!!!

No, not Angelina's twins!

Brenda Walsh is coming to the new 90210!!!!!!

Shannen Doherty is reportedly in talks with producers about guest starring on the new series!

A source has said that the only things standing in the way of a role for Shannon are her demand for more money and her request for advance notice of plotlines.
“She wants to know what the story is going to be first,” the source said.


So now we have Kelly, Donna, and (maybe) Brenda returning for the new show. Next, they need to work on getting Emily Valentine. And she needs to have the rattail again. Between her and the New Kids reunion, rattails are going to make a comeback! Just like leggings did! Oh! And then they should get Nat, of course, and Val, who was almost as awesome as Brenda, and Jackie--who was way too awesome to be Kelly's mother, and that one black guy that played basketball, and their chunky friend who wasn't good-looking enough for the main credits, and Dylan's friend Jonesy, and the transvestite that hooked up with Steve and stole his car, and
Reek, oh and the guy that tried to rape Donna, and the guy that tried to kill himself because Donna wouldn't go out with him, and Ray Pruitt to push Donna down the stairs again, and Rex Manning (remember when Brenda pretended she was older?), I can't stop!, ok and Colin the cokehead artist, and that creepy cokedealer dude that Kelly made out with, and the anti-semitic band that David managed, and JEREMY JORDAN, Alright!, and Professor Finlay!!! Oh, but no Claire Arnold, because she was annoying. And no Andrea Zuckerman, because she was boring. Ok, now that would be an awesome show! Fuck those new people--send them over to Gossip Girl! You too Rebecca Katsopolis.

To celebrate Brenda's return, here's a touching Brenda and Dylan tribute I found on YouTube set to Tiffany's beautiful hit, "Could've Been."


This proves the rumors are false!!!

"Would you please stop hi-fiving people in Yankees caps?"

Madonna and Guy Ritchie had a nice normal dinner together in New York's Cesca restaurant last night and even held hands! Wow!! Way to prove everybody wrong!! See people, they are FINE!

A diner at the restaurant said they looked
"like a normal couple that just wanted to have a nice dinner out. They looked very unassuming. Not like they were looking for attention. Everyone was whispering and saying, 'Wow, that was Madonna. She is supposed to be separating from her husband. I can't believe she is here.'"

Ok, this source is obviously a tourist because no way in hell would a real New Yorker be that naive.


BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

Angelina Jolie is in a hospital in Nice RIGHT NOW!!!

Her doctor is going to address the media at 11:30 E.T.

The hospital's spokeswoman issued the following statement:
"Madame Jolie's doctor will be updating her condition at the hospital and giving medical details. Madame Jolie is doing very well."

Wait a minute, it's after 11:30 and I can't find the doctor's report. I NEED TO KNOW MADAME JOLIE'S MEDICAL STATUS!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!! MY MERE MORTAL LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!!!


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Save him Jazzy Jeff!!!

Will Smith reunited with DJ Jazzy Jeff at the premiere party for his new movie Hancock last night. The two performed many of their hits and reminded the crowd of a time long ago before Will was brainwashed by Scientology.

The crowd started chanting "Save Him Jeff!" during "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" but Jeff knew there was no use once they broke into the theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Will started rapping:

In West Los Angeles one summer day
On a movie set, I was at the buffet
Chillin' out and having some chocolate fondue
When I was approached by my co-star Tom Cruise
Then a couple of guys
They were all dressed in blue
Started asking if I ever heard of Xenu
I tried to be polite and act like I cared
Then they said “You need an audit” and strapped me into a chair

A limo pulled up
And when it came near
The license plate said “Ron” and the bumper sticker said “Clear!”
If anything, I can say I was pretty scared
Cause Tom kept on laughing and yelling “Prepare!”

We pulled up to the Center about seven or eight
And I yelled to Tom, “Yo man, I thought you were straight!”
Looked at the Center and at Tom's crazy glare
But now I realize, I was just unaware



I say Dia
You say Netics

The crowd went silent and then Will responded: "Wait, wait, I am NOT A Scientologist!!!!!!!!"


Hey remember...........

Paris Bennett from American Idol Season 5?

Me neither, but her mother is freaking moron!

19 year old Paris recently revealed that she is pregnant and expecting a baby girl in October.

Ok, here comes the part where her mother is a freaking moron.

Paris's mom, Jameica Bennett was quoted as saying,
"I'm proud of how she did it. I was 16 when I got pregnant."

Uhhhhhhhhhh.... So is she proud that Paris held out for three more years than she did or is she proud that Paris got pregnant while she was a teenager? Either way, she's a freaking moron.

No word on who the father is (Chicken Little-please!!!) but Paris reportedly has "a ring."


In other Idol baby news, here's a recent photo of the Clayby, which is due next month:

Yeah, I said next month!

I'm sure those fuckers in Boston are loving this one!

Watch them start playing "Material Girl" when A-Rod comes up to bat.

Us Weekly reported today that Alex Rodriguez has been making late-night booty calls to Madonna's Central Park West apartment. Apparently, "all the doormen are talking."

The two have the same manager, Guy Oseary, who hung up the phone on the magazine when they called for a comment.

Madonna is still not commenting on the rumors that she and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. Alex was caught cheating last year when he was photographed with a stripper.

Neither of these two should be married in the first place. They need to take a lesson from Derek Jeter.


UPDATE- Madonna's spokesman, Liz Rosenberg attempted some damage control by releasing the following statement to PEOPLE:
"Madonna's husband Guy arrived in New York last night to be with his wife and family (not in a last ditch attempt to save his marriage which does not need saving). There are no plans for Madonna and Guy to divorce.

Madonna and Alex have the same manager, Guy Oseary. They have met. They know each other and Madonna took her kids to a Yankees game last week. There's really not anything to comment on beyond that.

It's nothing new that people are airing tons of dirty laundry Madonna's way lately – much of it untrue. By the way, rumors of Madonna and Lil Wayne are quite exaggerated as well."