Thursday, April 26, 2007

In case you missed it - part 3

Ok, last one I promise!!! This was probably the best part of the 8 hour long Idol suck-a-thon from last night where, in case you haven't heard, NO ONE WAS SENT HOME!

Anyway here is the always awesome Jack Black doing his rendition of Seal's "Kiss From a Rose." LOVE HIM!


Rapper Eve was arrested at 2:45 this morning for suspicion of driving under the influence after she crashed her Maserati on Hollywood Boulevard.

While in jail, Eve was visited by ...............Sean Penn? (video here) How random is that? Hollywood is so weird. Maybe Sean missed hanging out with one-named stars in the music business. I wonder if Robin is aware of all this.


Did Prince call out Paris?

"Hey, you!! The skanky ass bitch, get your ass up here!"

' Prince challenged Paris to a sing-off at his Las Vegas show -- and Paris Hilton couldn't step up, if a report in Us is to be believed. The hotel heiress was in the audience at Prince's Club 3121 show at the Rio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and Prince invited her onstage. When, according to Us, she skipped up to take her place in the spotlight, Prince handed her a mic and called out to the crowd, "Let's see if she can really sing," a challenge that so dismayed Paris that she ended up ditching the stage and leaving just two songs later. Paris' rep denies the incident. '

If this is true, Prince is the awesomest person to ever be awesome. But it's probably not since he's all religious and shit now.

In case you missed it part 2

Sorry, but I had to sit through 6 freaking hours of that drivel last night so I'm going to make you suffer. Idol Give Me Back My Time!

Here's another highlight from last night's show. It's a bunch of celebrites singing Stayin' Alive (brilliant song choice by the way, because the disease and poverty stricken people in Africa are indeed trying to do just that--you know, not DIE! Fucking asshats!) I bet all these celebs think they are doing something really great for charity by doing this and then they can go back to their spoiled, pampered lives and not feel the least bit guilty.

Anyway, it's pretty damn ridiculous. At first I was like--whoa, they got Michael Jackson? But it was just Teri Hatcher. The two Hughs were awesome though. Ever notice the older Goldie Hawn gets, the longer her bangs get? It's like rings on a tree. And Helena Bonham Carter scares the shit out of me. That is all.

Somewhere, Star Jones is laughing

So as she confirmed yesterday, Rosie O' Donnell, and ratings, are leaving The View. Although it's rumored to be because of Rosie's loud assmouth (you know, when nasty shit comes out of your mouth?) and controversial comments, no one's really sure of the real reasons. One report has said that it was over money and that Rosie wanted as much as 40 MILLION DOLLARS!! Yeah, forty. She seriously thinks she's worth A-Rod money? Bitch please! Another rumor is that the contract length was the problem and that ABC wanted Rosie to sign a three-year deal but she only wanted one year.

Whatever the reason, no one is going to watch anymore. Unless they could find a replacement that is equally annoying and loud. Hey, I know!!

She'd completely lose her shit!


In case you missed it

So on last night's 4-hour long American Idol Telethon they raised Elvis from the dead to perform onstage with Celine Dion. Elvis reportedly wasn't too thrilled but as you can see, he's a true professional.

They actually did a pretty good job with the special effect (they used an Elvis impersonator stand-in during the taping ) but I had no idea Elvis was 9 feet tall!

Also, at the end watch closely and you'll see Sanjaya is also resurrected! (The duet was prerecorded before he got the boot)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


Check out Carrie Underwood and rumored boyfriend (no, not Ben Affleck) Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo partying it up recently. Nothing wrong with that at all . It's nice to see having a good time. I just hope she asked Jesus to take the wheel as her designated driver.

Don't worry Carrie, no one's gonna be talking about those pictures because people are too busy talking about these:

Sorry I didn't warn you first. Yup, that's Season 3 winner Fantasia bobo-ing her lady lumps for the cameraphone. Well allegedly.

Poor Fantasia. Jennifer Hudson gets Dreamgirls and the cover of Vogue, Fantasia gets a Lifetime movie and hacked photos of her ass on the internet.

Life is not a fairy tale indeed.


I vote Rosie for next years Oscar host!

Rosie O'Donnell's emceed the Matrix Awards, an annual luncheon honoring New York women's accomplishments in media. The event was attended by 2,000 people including honorees Cindy Adams, Meredith Vieira, Joan Didion, Susan Lyne, Arianna Huffington and Lisa Caputo, and guests such as Rupert Murdoch, Joy Behar, Nora Ephron, Martha Stewart, and Hillary Clinton. Also there, seventeen high school girls who won scholarships to study media.

Pretty esteemed group huh? Bor--ing. Luckily for us Rosie decided it would be fun to drop a bunch of f-bombs during a self-indulgent rant about who else? Donald Trump of course! And she didn't stop there. She also grabbed her crotch and shouted "EAT ME!"

Barbara Walters was so embarrassed she lowered her head and covered her face with her hand.

Another guest, Robert Zimmerman said, "I was offended by how vulgar and common O'Donnell was. It was especially inappropriate with young people present." (Please, I'm sure the teenagers were the least offended out of anyone.)

Another woman who declined to be identified said, "I cringed and dove under the table when she said, 'Eat me.'" (My guess: Joy Behar)

Rosie's publicist attempted a little mop-up work by telling the NY Post: "When you ask for Rosie, you know what you're getting. She's not a shrinking violet. She's a stand-up comedienne. She says things that are provocative."

Also embarrassed to admit they were embarrassed was the managing director of N.Y. Women in Communications, Beth Ellen Keyes, who sent an e-mail to her handlers saying, "Rosie was fabulous. Please let Rosie know how much we appreciated her being there. She was just great."

Way to go Rosie! I bet she woke up this morning hoping it would be a bad dream. There's gotta be a video of this out there.


Let's all laugh at Joe Francis in handcuffs!

We know it's you Joe! How's it feel to be the one embarrassed in public? He is shown here coming out of Federal Court in Panama City, Florida where he plead guilty today to one count of criminal contempt.

He faces three more weeks of jailtime so insecure college girls with stripper dreams--- drink up and head to beach!


Whoa, check out Britney!

Looks like all those dance rehersals have been paying off. Or maybe it was the lipo. Or maybe it's airbrush tanner. Whatever it is, you go girl! Just lose the damn wig-hats.


Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sit down Peggy!

In more Asshats on a Plane news, Heather Mills and her Dancing With the Stars partner Jonathan Roberts were recently on a 10-hour Virgin Atlantic flight from Los Angeles to London when the entertainment system broke down.

Heather and Jonathan had the bright idea of cheering up the passengers with the art of dance, so they strapped on their dancing shoes (and in Heather's case,
leg) and performed an impromptu foxtrot routine down the aisles of the plane (once the Fasten Seatbelts sign was turned off of course).

Problem was, the disgruntled passengers were not impressed and didn't applaud at the end of their number. Damn Beatles fans!

One passenger commented, "We weren't in a good frame of mind because of the broken entertainment system. When the dance routine, which moved from first-class to economy, finished, no one clapped because we were all in such a bad mood." (Wow, I guess they really, really wanted to see Employee of the Month.)

Another said, "She's no Sanjaya." (Ok, I know. It's run its course. Sorry)

That is hysterical. It reminds me of that scene in the Brady Bunch sequel. I guess this isn't going to make the opening filler montage before their dance on this week's show.


BREAKING NEWS!! Brad and Angelina are not breaking up!

Despite reports in Star Magazine and Life & Style Weekly that there are problems between the two, Saint Angelina's manager Geyer Kosinski told US WEEKLY that , "They are together and very happy.”

Brad's publicist, Cindy Guagenti, also chimed in, "I responded to those two tabloids with the correct information and they choose not to run it. There is absolutely no trial separation. As a matter of fact, Brad and the kids are travelling to Prague to be with Angelina while she films her movie. Then they are both going to Cannes to promote Oceans 13 and A Mighty Heart. After that, the whole family is going to Los Angeles for the premiere of Oceans 13 and then to New York for the premiere of a Mighty Heart."

Hmmm, I'm not sure what to make of this. Usually when the representatives come out and deny problems that means there are problems, but I think the tabs are just foaming at the mouth and other orifices for this break-up so they'll have material for the next two years.


Katie defies Tom again

According to Life and Style Magazine, Katie Holmes is secretly (well, maybe now not so much) talking to non-$cientologist pastors about Suri's upbringing and is looking to enroll Suri into "kiddie Catholicism" classes when she is older to learn about the faith.

Whoa, I'm really scared for her. When Tom gets word of this, it's back to the ol' deprogramming machine. Be strong Katie, Jesus will help you!


In this week's celebrity-airline hissy fit news....

The National Enquirer reports that "Will & Grace" star Eric McCormack threw a tantrum so bad that the incident was reported to the FAA.

Apparently the crew of the Alaska Airlines flight he was taking with his 4-year-old son, Finnigan, (Finnigan?) violated regulations because it was too large and had to be stowed with the luggage.

A source said, "Eric screeched like a banshee when he didn't get his way. He yelled at crew members - telling them his family had used the seat on many flights in the past. But the price tag was still on it. And when an attendant turned over the seat, a warning label said, 'Not to be used on aircraft!'" BUSTED!

Eric continued ranting and raving, so long that the plane started taxing toward the runway. By then, it was too late to remove the seat. It's because of that that the violation was reported.

During this commotion, one passenger was said to be overheard saying "You're no Sanjaya!"

What the fuck?

When did these pleated, high-waisted Mom-jeans become the latest fashion craze? They are so chic, and by chic I mean Chic. I'm just waiting for people to start imitating this look in public, because you know they will. I plan to point and laugh at them. Please join me.

Seriously, ewwww.