Good news for Coco fans!

We all knew it was only a matter of time before Law and Order ripped the Chris Benoit tragedy from the headlines and now Special Victims Unit will be doing an episode surrounding the death of a professional wrestler. Guess who's playing the wife? Yup, the elegant and talented wife of Ice T, COCO!!! I can see the Emmy nomination already!

Oh please, please, let the wrestler be played by Snitsky!! That would be best episode. EVER!


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GUESS WHO?

DUH!! It's Britney Bitch!




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Lindsay has found love!!

Or at least a new bathroom partner. This week's lucky boy is Chesare Bono, as in Sonny Bono, not U2 Bono.

Yup Chesare is the 19-year old son of the late Sonny and Republican Congresswoman Mary, who must be so thrilled.

Lindsay and Chesare met in rehab and are rumored to be getting serious. According to a source: "Chez is telling pals that he and Lindsay have fallen for each other big time. They plan on moving in with one another just as soon as they get out of rehab. He is telling people they spend every moment they can together and lean on each other for comfort."

Oh Chez, you silly pathetic 19-year old. Just because Lindsay mounts you on the toilet doesn't mean that you are serious. I'm going to feel so bad for the kid when she dumps him soon for Richie Sambora.

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More JLo pregnancy rumors

PAGE SIX reports that and insider says Jennifer Lopez, is planning to "announce that she and Marc Anthony are expecting their first child on Saturday night at her Madison Square Garden concert."

To add to the baby rumors, a fan that attended her concert in Connecticut Wednesday night said they could definitely see a baby bump:"...a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, and a definitive baby bump was there. She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly."


In other baby news, Christina Aguilera still has not confirmed that she is pregnant.




Um, yeah, keep em guessing Xtina!

Gimmie Less

So this may or may not be the video for Gimmie More that will premiere on TRL on Monday. If you didn't get enough at the VMA's, feel free to check it out. I will say this, she sure is classy.

Notice how all the close-up body shots are of the other strippers.

Stop RehDogg, you're scaring me!

YouTube phenomenon RehDogg has done it again. Just in time for Halloween, he brings us his latest masterpiece called "I am the Soul Taker." Watch with caution, cause it's scary. The Soul Taker has assured us that he has come for our pathetic souls (he means business, he has a laser pointer and everything).

Oh my god... He's going to poke out my eyes and STICK THEM DOWN MY ESOPHAGUS!!! Please somebody help!

A-baby for A-Rod

Yankees third baseman and soon to be named MVP Alex Rodriguez, 32, and his wife, Cynthia, 34, are expecting their second child. The two have been married for five years and have a two year old daughter named Natasha.

"Cynthia and I are overjoyed to announce this addition to our family,"Alex told PEOPLE, “We realize what a special gift children are, and feel very blessed to welcome our second child."

The baby is due in the spring and they don't yet know the sex.

Cynthia said, "We're just real excited," she adds. "It's almost more exciting [than the first child] in a way, because you can anticipate what you already know is so amazing. We're thrilled. We can't wait."


Sorry, but I am not going to say anything snarky about A-Rod being a faithful husband in fear of jinxing the Yankees.


UPDATE 10/5 - AW SHIT!

Scary

In an interview with British magazine, Heat, Ugly Betty star America Ferrera said she gets many letters from fans who think her character is an actual person. Some even ask her what is like to work at Mode.

She tells the mag, "The line gets blurred. You just have to deal with that every now and then and be safe and be careful. I try to keep as low-key as I can."

Wait, Ugly Betty's not real? But I just wrote Justin a letter asking him to be my seeing eye gay after my appointment with Dr. Wong for duck semen injections! What the hell am I gonna do now?

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Kid Rock: 'Pam's a crazy liar & Kanye sucks' --Yup, pretty much sums it up

So lots of Kid Rock news lately. He has publicly accused ex-wife Pamela Anderson (who is now set to marry Rick Solomon - she's has finally met her perfect mate!) of pulling the ultimate crazy drama queen stunt: lying about a miscarriage.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Kid said:

"She's in Vancouver shooting a movie and I have Lakers seats on the floor, and I'm gonna go to the Lakers (basketball) game with my friend Jesse James. I'm like, `Baby, I got these tickets. I'll see you on the weekend there,' and that leads into her saying, `You don't care about me, blah blah blah. She finally comes up with this: `I just had a miscarriage' ... and hangs the phone up."

So Kid, not even knowing about the "pregnancy" freaked out, chartered a plane, and flew to Vancouver to see her. Then he said, "When I get there, she's partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I'm thinking, `That's a quick recovery from a miscarriage.'"

Pam's such a moron. She totally wasted the miscarriage trick. Every girl knows that first you lie about being pregnant to get the guy to do what you want. That way you can save the miscarriage for another time down the road for sympathy. Dumbass!

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In other Kid Rock news, Kid has made a wager to 50 Cent and Kanye West (thanks a lot for resurrecting that one Kid) that his new album, titled Rock & Roll Jesus, will sell more copies in the long run than both Kanye and Fiddy's albums combined.

Kid says, "I bet, in the long run, I sell more records than both of those two put together. Because of the options that are available for getting records out nowadays, I might not be able to move 12 million records, but I do think I have a shot at having a diamond {10 million) record."

Earth to Kid Rock - it isn't 1999 anymore, you have already released Devil Without a Cause, and there's no way you are going to sell 10 million albums. That said, I hope he does outsell Kanye and Fiddy so they'll both fucking shut up.

Which brings us to the awesome part, pay attention now: Kid adds, "I'm a rapper by nature. I started out as a DJ. To me, hip-hop is the blues music of our day and age. But writing a rap song is 10 times easier than writing a melodic song that's hopefully going to be around 20 years from now. I think it's much harder to come up with melody and chord progression. There's been some great rap. I don't hear a lot of it lately."

BURN!!! OMG, how I wish I could see Kanye's face when he reads that shit. I love you Kid Rock! Too bad Joe C.'s not alive, he could totally kick Kanye's sissy ass.

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D List Celebrity Bitchfight of the Week

So at last night's Fox Reality Channel Reality Awards Danny Bonaduce attacked Johnny "Grandma" Fairplay resulting in Johnny losing several teeth and breaking a toe. This all went down on stage. and Danny has been named a felony suspect. Johnny was taken to a nearby hospital.



So here's what I pieced together from TMZ:

Danny was leaving because he thought the show was over. Johnny, while on stage, asked the audience why they were booing him. Walking by, Danny said "They're booing him because they hate him."



Adrienne Curry (aka Peter Brady's child bride) heard Danny say that and then suggested to Danny to go on stage and tell Johnny just that. Danny, thinking he'd have a shot at banging Adrienne since she seems to have a thing for geeky middle children on corny 70's sitcoms, decided that was a great way to impress her.
So Danny went up on stage and taunted Johnny by saying "None of these fucking people like you, man." Johnny then ran at Danny, jumped on him Danny says he was off the first step of the stage when Fairplay suddenly ran at him, jumped on him, wrapped his legs around him, and the two started kissing passionately. (ok, I made that part up, but it sure looks like it in the picture below, doesn't it?)


So Danny says he didn't know if Fairplay was joking and then grabbed Johnny by the butt and threw him over his head, not realizing how light he was. Boom went Johnny's face into the seats behind him.

Meanwhile, Adrienne, who's super duper happy to be in the spotlight again said to TMZ, "I feel TERRIBLE! I know it wasn't my fault that Johnny was STUPID enough to try to piss off Danny, but I know Danny might not have gone up there if I hadn't cheered him on." However, Adrienne did admit that she thought it was "a little awesome."


So let me get this straight. The cast of Flavor of Love was there and the best we get is Danny Bonaduce vs. Johnny Fairplay? Both of those asshats are loving every minute of this.


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This explains Timberfuck

In the new issue of Vanity Fair Magazine ex-boybanders and others have come forward with some startling (ok, well not really all that startling because we all knew it) claims about Lou Pearlman, you know that fat guy to blame for Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and all those other awful "bands?" They say Lou is a pedophile, a sexual predator, and an all around sick fuck. Who knew? (Yeah, me too)

Here are some of the quotes:

"I would absolutely say the guy was a sexual predator. All the talent knew what Lou's game was. Some guys joked about it. I remember [one singer] asking me, 'Have you let Lou [fellate] you yet?'" - Steve Mooney, Pearlman's assistant.


Mooney recalled what had happened when he once asked Pearlman what it would take for him to get into a band.

"I'll never forget this as long as I live. He leaned back in his chair, in his white terry cloth robe and white underwear, and spread his legs. And then he said, and these were his exact words, 'You're a smart boy. Figure it out.' "

Phoenix Stone, an early member of the Backstreet Boys, tells the mag that Pearlman was "definitely inappropriate" with Nick Carter.

Nick's mom, Jane, wouldn't get into specifics, but said: "Certain things happened and it almost destroyed our family. I tried to warn everyone. I tried to warn all the mothers . . . I tried to expose him for what he was years ago."

In addition to being a perv, Pearlman is also a con artist. He is currently being held in jail in Florida awaiting trial for allegedly scamming 1,000 investors out of $315 million dollars. That silly Lou!

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Punky Preggers!

Soleil Moon Frye, 31 and her husband, producer Jason Goldberg, 36 are expecting their second child. They have a two-year old daughter, Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg.

The new child is due in the spring and there is no word on how many names it will have.

Speaking of Punky Brewster, did anyone ever wonder about Henry? He seemed kinda pervy to me. Especially when Punky started getting boobs around Season 3.

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Britney's Legal Y'all!

Britney Spears: Responsible Driver

Yesterday Britney Spears was issued an interim license from the California DMV.

A representative ofthe DMV, Mike Marando told PEOPLE,"She has fulfilled her requirements for a California driver's license. Ms. Spears actually took and passed a written test in April. She was fingerprinted and photographed yesterday. She will be issued a formal license in the mail soon."

Wow, they take your fingerprints in California? I didn't know that.

Anyway, congrats Britney and drive safely! WAIT, WATCH OUT FOR THAT...................

"Oops, I did it again!"

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What the Asshats Are Up To

"Hang on Mr. Paparazzi, let me take my shirt off."

"I love big balls! Get it? Haahaha, Because I'm sexy now! Suck that Disney!"

"Point me in the direction of the hot ladies."

"It's not my fault officer, that kid pulled out in front of my car. Yeah, in his stroller. He'll be ok, my kids do it all the time. Try giving him some Pepsi."

Mary Kate (I think) - "Damn, it's cold. Good thing I brought an extra sweater."

Ashley - : "Um, it's 80?"

Mary Kate - "Brrrr."

"If they want me to play Bridget Jones again, I'm doing it the easy way."

"Shut up! You didn't really pee in Kim Cattral's coffee, did you?"

"Gosh no, I didn't pee. Ladies tinkle."

"I know I'm forgetting something...................Hair spray, lollipops, ciggies, eyeliner.....Shit, my feet stink. "

"He said 'I'm the king of the world.' I couldn't fucking take it ok? It's been over ten fucking years!"

Shiloh - "What the hell guys, you're getting another kid?"

St. Angelina - "Of course not sweetie, we're just picking up your brother Maddox from school. Although...... "

Brad - "Oh shit."



PHOTOS

I can't wait for the reunion show!

So last night was the big Rock of Love finale and to noone's surprise Bret chose Jes, the 23 year old Gwen Stefani look-a-like over Heather, the 31 year old classic beauty/stripper.

Bret knew Jes was the one after she cried when he had a near-death experience due to his diabetus while Heather seemed to say "Screw your diabetus, I wanna drive in the dirt."

Well Heather is so pissed up to her Aquanet and she's not keeping quiet.

On her MySpace, Heather cries foul editing:

HELLO ALL,
FIRST I WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THROUGH OUT THE SEASON OF ROCK OF LOVE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EDITING PLAYS A HUGE PART IN TELEVISION, THAT'S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE INTERESTED IN WATCHING. I HAVE CRIED MANY NIGHTS OVER HOW SOME EPISODE PROTRAY ME. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN AND APPALLED THAT I LOOK SO INSENSITIVE IN THE FINALE. I LOVED BRET VERY MUCH AND HE WILL HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOREVER. IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART THAT THE EDITING MAKES ME LOOK SO INSENSITVE.ON OUR DATE IN CABO WHEN HE SAID HE WASNT FEELING WELL WE STOPPED AND I WENT AND GOT HIM SOME WATER..IT WAS HIM WHO WANTED TO KEEP RIDING TO GET ALL DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES. I WAS
FULL OF SAND AND WOULD HAVE LOVED TO JUST CHILL ON THE BEACH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THE MOST REAL, DID EVERYTHING I COULD FOR HIM---U GUYS DID NOT SEE WHEN I WOULD MAKE HIM BREAKFAST IN BED OR WHEN I BOUGHT HIM BALLONS AND ROSES ON HIS BDAY.. I WENT SHOPPING FOR HIM AND HIS KIDS IN CABO AND ACTUALLY SPENT OVER 1000 THROUGHOUT THAT MONTH., BECAUSE I LOVE TO GIVE AND ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.
NO, I WASNT THE SKINNIEST ONE OR THE PRETTIEST ONE, BUT I WAS HONEST AND GAVE HIM MY HEART. BRET SEES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYDAY OF HIS LIFE---REMEMBER TAMARA--BUT, ITS CHEMISTRY AND AN AMAZING BOND THAT IS HARD TO FIND.... WE BOTH FOUND IT AND ITS A SHAME ALL OF AMERICA HAS TO THINK THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST---I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT--AS IF THE STIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)--OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN.
I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THE TRUTH.
I DO HAVE A COUPLE THINGS IN THE WORKS, SO U WILL BE SEEING ME AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE
SINCERELY,
HEATHER

Oh Heather. First off - after a pole, spellcheck is a stipper's best friend. Please look into it. And secondly, don't waste your time crying over Brit. He's just jealous of your hair. Not to mention, I think it's quite obvious why he chose Jes:




I knew he always had a thing for C.C!

Oh, btw - rumor has it that Bret and Jes are no longer together (if they ever were in the first place) and that casting has already begun for Rock of Love 2.

K-Fed got the kids!

What's in the cup?

We can all breathe a big sign of relief for Sean Preston and Jayden James. TMZ has breaking news that Britney has lost custody!

' L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today stating that Kevin Federline, the boys' father, "is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court." '

You can view the official document here.


Let's see how long it takes Britney to notice. Seriously though, will SOMEONE help this crazy bitch before it's too late?