Save him Jazzy Jeff!!!

Will Smith reunited with DJ Jazzy Jeff at the premiere party for his new movie Hancock last night. The two performed many of their hits and reminded the crowd of a time long ago before Will was brainwashed by Scientology.

The crowd started chanting "Save Him Jeff!" during "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" but Jeff knew there was no use once they broke into the theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Will started rapping:

In West Los Angeles one summer day
On a movie set, I was at the buffet
Chillin' out and having some chocolate fondue
When I was approached by my co-star Tom Cruise
Then a couple of guys
They were all dressed in blue
Started asking if I ever heard of Xenu
I tried to be polite and act like I cared
Then they said “You need an audit” and strapped me into a chair

A limo pulled up
And when it came near
The license plate said “Ron” and the bumper sticker said “Clear!”
If anything, I can say I was pretty scared
Cause Tom kept on laughing and yelling “Prepare!”

We pulled up to the Center about seven or eight
And I yelled to Tom, “Yo man, I thought you were straight!”
Looked at the Center and at Tom's crazy glare
But now I realize, I was just unaware

Yeah

LET ME HEAR YOU THETANS!

I say Dia
You say Netics
Dia....

The crowd went silent and then Will responded: "Wait, wait, I am NOT A Scientologist!!!!!!!!"

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Yikes!! Don't Mess With the Thetans!!

Controversial biographer Andrew Morton has been forced into hiding following alleged threats made on his life by the Church of $cientology over a revealing biography he has written about Tom Cruise.

The biography reportedly exposes all kinds of dirt on Tom's sexuality and all the kooky alien stuff. I'm sure the contracts with Nicole and Katie are in there too.

So basically, the biography contains a lot of stuff everybody already knows.

But we all know how Little Tommy gets his panties all bunched up when someone dares bring any of that stuff up. Morton claims he has been forced to "disappear" and sell his London home as a result of the threats made to him while attempting to research Tom's life for the book.

Morton told the British newspaper The Sunday Express, "I have received threats from the Scientologists and things have become pretty heavy - to the extent that it's almost more than my lawyers can handle. I've sold my flat and I'm not telling anyone where I'm moving to. I intend to disappear for a while."

Morton added that researching the Royal Family was "a walk in the park" compared to this latest project.

Sorry but it's over for you Andrew. You can't hide from the $cientologists. They've got laser beams and stuff like that. They're gonna find you and sue you and erase your brain and you'll be writing a romance novel about the great love of Tom and Katie in no time.


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Shut up Tom!

For no apparent reason Tom Cruise has decided to announce that he is above worldly possessions and has shunned his multi-million dollar fortune in favor or a more simplistic lifestyle. Tom believes that his family and career are much more important than 250 million dollars.

Tom recently said, "I have no iPhone, no mobile, no e-mail address, no watch, no jewelery, no wallet. I simply want to be with my children and make movies. I am the boss of 1,000 people (but) I don't see myself as an icon."

Well duh, if you want to achieve the the highest level of Operating Thetan, it's gonna cost you!

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Suri is a spoiled little alien!

A friend of TomKat (probably not anymore) recently told US magazine that they spoil the shit out of little Suri.

"Suri pretty much does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. If she fusses before bed, they let her stay up later. If they want her to go swimming and she cries, they'll take her out. If she whines about food, they'll ask her what else she wants to eat. They always want to please her."

Well duh, how else to do treat the future leader of the Galactic Marcab Confederation?

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$CIENTOLOGY UPDATE

IN (?):

Well, she's already got the perfect outfit!

Rumor is that J-Lo and Ratboy are looking into joining Scientology. Now a report is out that Jennifer's father has been a Scientologist for 20 years.

"It's weird people want to paint [Scientology] in a negative way," Jen is quoted as saying. "It's just sad that people would look at it in that way."

I don't know which is be more annoying: the whole Bennifer thing or J-Lo as a S$ientologist. Tough one.
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OUT:


From The New York Daily News:

Victoria Beckham is telling pals she has no intention of joining the Church of Scientology, despite her close friendship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard.

Says another pal: "It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke." '

Ut oh, Tom's gonna be pissed about that one. I bet he'll make Katie stop being friends with Posh.

AAAACKK!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!

Tom and Katie's Coming-Out Party

No, it's not what you think, although I wonder if the E! staffer who wrote the article worded it like that intentionally. They had another damn party. They dissed Oprah again. John and Kelly dissed them. Dawson was there though.

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Tom and Katie's Coming-Out Party

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes traded an Italian castle for the Beverly Hills variety Saturday night, as the newlyweds were feted by some of the most powerful players in show biz at the home of Cruise's longtime producing partner, Paula Wagner, and her husband, Rick Nicita.

Police cordoned off the area around the home in the early evening, threatening the dozens of reporters and video and still photographers with citations if they clogged the streets.

Guests started arriving around 6 p.m., with Mr. and Mrs. Cruise, along with daughter Suri, arriving in a three-vehicle armada of tinted-out black SUVs around 6:40 p.m. Cruise's two children with Nicole Kidman, Connor and Isabella, arrived separately in a Bentley. (The entire family spent the earlier part of the day watching the older kids play soccer in L.A.)

Ostensibly, the party was a celebration for those who couldn't make it to Rome for the couple's Nov. 18 nuptials and a who's-who of Hollywood royalty descended upon the affair in style. Steven Spielberg and Cate Capshaw pulled up in a Bentley, Oliver Stone arrived in a silver Porsche and Orlando Bloom kept it on the down low, driving himself in a yellow VW Bug. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, who were at the Bracciano, Italy, wedding, turned up for Saturday's soiree in a Rolls Royce. (For exclusive video of the arrivals, check out The Vine.)

Others spotted arriving chez Wagner included Cruise's ex, Penéope Cruz, James Van Der Beek, Derek Luke, Catherine Bell, Diane Sawyer, Larry King, Brian Grazer, former Paramount studio boss Sherry Lansing, Variety's eminence grise Army Archerd, and Last Samurai director Ed Zwick and producer Marshall Herskovitz.

Tents were erected to shelter the 300 guests from the night's rainfall.

The entire affair cost an estimated $400,000, reports E! Online senior editor Marc Malkin.

No word on whether John Travolta and Kelly Preston, who were said to have received an invitation but were no-shows in Rome, turned up for the postwedding bash.

However, Oprah Winfrey, who was passed over for the Italy celebration, also failed to make the cut for the L.A. edition, according to her