Saturday, December 30, 2006

BUT SHE'S NOT DRINKING!!!

Here's a photo taken yesterday of Lindsay hanging out in Miami. Look closely, I see two drinks there, how about you? And don't even try to say maybe hers is non-alcoholic---nothing in this picture is virgin.

DIVORCE

Michael Jordan and his wife Juanita mutually filed for divorce yesterday. They were married for 17 years and have three children. Juanita filed once before in 2002, but withdrew the petition after a month when they decided to try to work it out. No word on whether the Hanes commercials have anything to do with the separation. (yeah, sorry, I know that one was weak. Couldn't think of anything better)

MARRIAGE!


Congrats to Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox who married yesterday in LA. Nikki is not sure if she is going to take Mohr as her last name or do some combination of the two. May I suggest Nikki Mohr Cox?

Everytime I see Jay Mohr I can't help but think of the lipsynching show on MTV about ten years ago called LipService. That show was awesome.

Paris (tries to) Diss Britney


Paris should consult Brandon Davis for a lesson in name-calling. Apparently ever since Britney decided to clean up her image (insert laughter here) and stop hanging out with Paris, Paris has been badmouthing her to friends and frequently referring to her as "Animal."

Don't worry Brit, I always thought Animal was pretty damn cool.

Saddam Hussein HUNG! (or HANGED! Whatever!)


From CNN:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Defiant to the end, Saddam Hussein mocked Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr moments before he was hanged, a witness said Saturday.

The Iraqi government executed Hussein before dawn as punishment for his role in a massacre of his own people, more than two decades before he was toppled by a U.S.-led invasion.

A video of the execution broadcast on Al-Iraqiya state television showed Hussein, dressed in a black overcoat, being led into a room by three masked guards

A witness, Iraqi Judge Munir Haddad, said that one of the executioners told Hussein that the former dictator had destroyed Iraq, which sparked an argument that was joined by several government officials in the room.

As a noose was tightened around Hussein's neck, one of the executioners yelled "long live Muqtada al-Sadr," Haddad said, referring to the powerful anti-American Shiite religious leader.

Hussein, a Sunni, mockingly uttered one last phrase before he died: "Muqtada al-Sadr," according to Haddad's account.

The judge said Hussein appeared "totally oblivious to what was going on around him. I was very surprised. He was not afraid of death."

But Haddad's description of Hussein's demeanor before his execution contrasts markedly with another witness, Iraqi national security adviser Mowaffak al-Rubaie. "He was a broken man," al-Rubaie said. "He was afraid. You could see fear in his face."

(story continues at link above)

Friday, December 29, 2006

SHOCKER!! Mike Tyson Arrested--UPDATED

Here's the real mugshot. Must have been hot in there, he's panting.


The mugshot from this latest arrest has not yet surfaced. Luckily, we had one on backup:


SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) -- Mike Tyson was arrested for driving under the influence and possession of cocaine after police stopped him leaving a Scottsdale nightclub early Friday.

Sgt. Larry Hall said the heavyweight boxer was stopped after his car almost struck a sheriff's vehicle while leaving the club at about 1:45 a.m.

"He showed signs of impairment, and voluntarily submitted to field sobriety tests," said Hall, a member of the Buckeye Police Department who was working in the area as part of a holiday DUI task force.

Hall said Tyson was placed under arrest after "showing more signs of impairment" during the field sobriety tests.

Police subsequently searched Tyson and found cocaine on him and in his car.

Full Story

Larry Hall doesn't state how he was able to tell Tyson was impaired. I'd sure like to know, that's some good police work right there!

PETA's Worst Dressed of 2006

Here come the best/worst lists of the year. PETA has named it's top offenders for 2006:


1. Nicole Richie: This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones. She’s an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match.

2. Ashley Olsen: Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead.

3. Eva Longoria: You’d think she’d be more sympathetic to the plight of rabbits considering the way she screws around like one on Wisteria Lane.

4. Christina Ricci: Disregarding the holiday season’s “Peace on Earth” message, Ricci recently posed for a magazine cover wearing fur from slaughtered reindeer. At least she’s not into fur hats: Imagine how many more pelts it would take to cover that forehead.

PETA LATER RETRACTED THEIR COMMENT ON CHRISTINA AND REPLACED WITH:

*UPDATE: Great news! We’re thrilled to report that Christina Ricci has had a change of heart about fur after receiving an email from PETA asking her to watch a fur expose by Martha Stewart. In an email to PETA VP Dan Mathews, Ricci says, “I never meant to hurt nor anger anyone with my insensitivity. For what it is worth I have received the message loud and clear and will not be wearing fur in the future. I apologize for my offensive actions.” Ricci is being removed from peta2’s list.

You may notice that Paris Hilton didn’t make the list this year, and that’s because we’re giving her the benefit of the doubt. Paris has been telling reporters that she’s no longer wearing fur after seeing what really happens to animals, like dogs and cats on Chinese fur farms. Animals who are victims of the fashion industry live in miserable filthy conditions before they are killed for couture—many of them will be skinned alive.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't even know these people wore fur until this list came out! Where the hell are JLo and Beyonce? Oh and if I were Christina, I'd still be pissed about that forehead comment. And the fact that Nicole is holding a diet soda is bothering me more than the fur coat.

Julia is Pregnant Again


Page Six reports that Julia Roberts and her husband, Danny Moder are expecting their third child. Julia had a difficult pregnancy with her twins,Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia (and gave them those names to punish them for her pain) so this pregnancy comes as a surprise to many. Julia, didn't you learn anything from playing that dumbass in Steel Magnolias?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Goodbye James


James Brown's body was laid out at the Apollo Theater in Harlem today for fans to pay their respects. During Al Sharpton's memorial speech the audience booed and the tap dancing clown came out and hauled his ass off the stage.

In related news, no Johnny Reznick did not die.

photo credit

Brandon and Dylan reunited in Beverly Hills

"Get over it Dylan, she chose herself."

Photo credit

PAYPAL = FASCISTS




FROM PAGE SIX:
December 21, 2006 -- VINCENT Gallo is no pal of PayPal. The online payment service abruptly cut ties with the actor-director because it didn't want to be associated with him selling his sexual services and sperm through his Web site. "They are really fascists. They should breathe some death gas or something," the star of X-rated flick "Brown
Bunny" told Page Six. For years, Gallo had used PayPal as an intermediary to collect payments from people ordering merchandise over vincentgallo.com, including clothing, posters, artwork and jewelry. But he says PayPal got squeamish at him offering himself to single women and lesbian couples for prices of $50,000-$200,000, and sperm samples for women who want to have his baby for $1 million. "For them to say they have some sort of moral regard for their clients is incredible - they're a penny-pinching, conniving company," he fumed. Gallo says he's switching to American Express, Visa and MasterCard, "just like all the good escort services use." A PayPal rep defended cutting off Gallo, saying he violated its "policy against facilitating meetings for sexually oriented activities."

Poor Britney


Britney's most popular fansite, WorldofBritney.com, posted the following message:

"As Britney keeps losing her identity and credibility within fans and industry people, so is WoB. We're moving on to greater, bigger things. I would therefore like to announce the permanent shut down of World of Britney.com beginning January 31st, 2007. "I think that WoB has had its run.......its feet are not holding firm anymore, not because of my ability to run it, but because I believe Britney is unfortunately done (for me at least). No matter what anyone thinks or how they may disagree, it's very hard to maintain the respect needed to keep things going, so in turn, I'm trying to be a step ahead of it."

Among the greater and bigger things WoB is moving on to: Asking Brittany Murphy, Brittany Daniel, and Brittny Gastineau to consider changing the spelling of their names in return for being the new subject of the website, getting that tattoo of Britney's face removed from his ass, switching from Pepsi to Coca Cola, finally admitting Crossroads sucked, getting money back for K-Fed CD, directing, and adopting a Malawian orphan.

In related news - trainwrecks.com is very happy with Britney's recent behavior.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

All I want for Christmas is a new bellybutton so I can be perfect again



Apparently Tara Reid wasn't a very good girl this year because she woke up on Christmas morning and the only thing waiting for her was a pile of her own vomit. She then kicked the jolly white-bearded guy out of her bed. Fucking Imposter! Poor Tara. :(

Things without bellybuttons have bugged me since I was a kid. True story: I made my mom sew a bellybutton on my teddybear Puh-Puh (who I still have today)

So like my mom hooked up Puh-Puh, I'm going to hook up Tara. Except unlike my mom, I'm not very good at sewing. But I do have a leftover sliced Greek olive from lunch and in the spirit of the season, I'd like to give it to our girl.




Party on Tara! :)

More Donald Drama


FROM THE NATIONAL LEDGER:
Donald Trump had a banner week leading up to Christmas. The Real Estate mogul answered Rosie O'Donnell's attacks on Miss USA Tara Conner and also slammed the round mound of put down in a variety of ways, hitting her with a barrage insults and even saying he could steal away Rosie's lover Kelli Carpenter with one of his 'friends.'

Now Radar Online takes the opportunity to again drag up nude photos that they allege are of Melania Knauss and publish them with the query: "Which of The Donald's many "friends" possesses the lesbian know-how, killer bod, and romantic cunning needed to seduce Rosie's lady lover, Kelli?"

The photos were spotted in some magazine called Celebrity Sleuth (in issue 35 no less) and Radar reports that the mag had run two full spreads of nude and near-nude pics of Melania, the future Mrs. Trump, in various stages of lesbianic embrace, which it claimed were taken during her modeling days in the late '90s.

At the time Radar reports that they had received word from the Donald that these pictures were not of Melania.

No matter - the online pictures are again posted at Radar, and are definitely of a striking brunette solo and with a friend. Are they of Melania Knauss, the wife of Trump? The shots copied from the magazine are far from any high resolution shots, so it's a tough call.


PICS HERE- NOT WORK SAFE

Negotiations are currently underway to determine if Melania will lose her title as Mrs. Trump.

Save the ocean!



NEW YORK (Reuters) - A ruptured crude oil pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico spilled more than 20,000 gallons of crude oil over the weekend, leaving a half-mile-long oil slick in the water, the U.S. Coast Guard said on Tuesday.

"A medium crude oil pipeline ruptured 30 miles southeast of Galveston, Texas, and leaked approximately 21,000 gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico Sunday, December 24," the Coast Guard said in a release.

Plains All American Pipeline L.P., operator of the High Island Pipeline, said it shut the line down on Sunday after the leak was detected and that it was working with state and federal agencies to minimize the impact of the spill.

The cause of the incident is currently under investigation.



Duh! We all know it was no pipeline, Brandon Davis just decided to go swimming.


PIC FROM TMZ.COM

Posh is the next Jerry Lewis


EX-Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is reportedly set to star in Tom Cruise's new Scientology film as an alien bride.

Britain's Daily Star newspaper reports that the wife of football star David Beckham has apparently been lined up to play the alien bride in The Thetan - based on the religion, which believes in alien life forms.

The Daily Star reported that Victoria - who Cruise has described as a "comic genus" - is said to be "thrilled" about getting her big Hollywood break.

A source told the Daily Star: "Victoria is really hoping to make a go of it in Hollywood.

"This could be the perfect start for her, with good pal Tom Cruise in charge."

The 32-year-old - who made her first attempt at acting in the 1997 Spice Girls movie Spice World - will play the bride of an alien leader called a thetan, which Scientologists claim is an immortal spiritual being, present in all humans.

Cruise - who is bankrolling the project himself after it was rejected by all the major film studios - is said to have picked Victoria for the role after being impressed by her "comic genius".

Victoria - who is married to soccer superstar David Beckham - is currently looking to buy a property in Los Angeles after recently landing a presenting role on a new US fashion programme.


Source


I know the first thing I think of when I hear the name Victoria Beckham is
comedienne extraordinare. I mean, just look at this!
It's like Lucille Ball! Goosebumps!

RIP




Dec 22, 2006 -(AP) Actor Mike Evans, best known as Lionel Jefferson in the TV comedy series "All in the Family" and "The Jeffersons," has died. He was 57.

Evans died of throat cancer Dec. 14 at his mother's home in Twentynine Palms, said his niece, Chrystal Evans.





Dec. 25, 2006 - ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- James Brown, the legendary R&B belter, a singer and songwriter who created a foundation for funk and provided the roots of rap, a man of many nicknames but a talent that can only be described as one of a kind, is dead.

Brown died early Monday at Atlanta's Emory Crawford Long Hospital of congestive heart failure, his agent said. He was 73.




Dec. 27, 2006 - The former US president Gerald Ford has died, aged 93.



Here's where you say the obligatory: "Wow, they always really do die in threes."