Look everybody!! Britney's controversial again!

So there is a big hoopla of Britney's new song called "If You Seek Amy." The controversy is over the way Britney pulls some Miss Susie Had A Steamboat type shit with the line "if you seek amy." See, it sounds like something else when she sings it really fast.

Sound it out.

Get it?

Ok, it sounds like "F-U-C-K-me" (Insert sigh, eyeroll and "oh Britney" here)

So now that radio stations are threatening to ban the song, Britney has released a censored version where the word "seek" is changed to "see"--which makes the line “All the boys and the girls are begging to If You See Amy" sound even stupider.


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Jayden James is going to be ok

Britney Spears's 2-year old son Jayden James was rushed to a Kentwood hospital at 1:30 p.m. yesterday after suffering what has been described as a "terrible allergic reaction." A source told PEOPLE that the toddler "had hives, was itchy and irritable" and that "they're just not sure" what caused the reaction.

Britney spent the night in the hospital with her son. She was said to be very happy that they didn't put any restraints on her this time.

Britney's people posted the following statement on her website:

"Jayden James Federline was admitted to the Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center on Sunday, November 9th. Doctors concluded he had a reaction to something he ingested. He is expected to be discharged tomorrow."

As for that something he ingested, my guess is that Womanizer song. I broke out in hives after that shit too!



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Speaking of Starbucks:

NO!!! DON'T DO IT BRITNEY!!!

Shit! It's a relapse!! Oh, god, she was doing so good too.

Somebody call Dr. Drew.

If he's not available, call Gary Busey (it's ok, he's a participant, not a patient!)!!!

Because it's never too early to teach your children about smoking

As in "how to."

They should give Brit her own TRUTH commercial.

Britney shows up to court!

Britney and Kevin are in court RIGHT THIS MINUTE for the latest hearing in their custody battle. I just can't stand the excitement!!!

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I have to give her some credit though, she has been trying and she's been looking a lot better lately, here she is in a scene from her upcoming return to How I Met Your Mother:

Doogie looks so pissed.

(Neil recently said on Britney's possible return: “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start Will and Grace-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show.”)

Jamie Lynn's Shower!

It seems like just yesterday that we found out little Jamie Lynn Spears was knocked-up. Well, she had her baby shower this past Saturday. And soon-to-be Auntie Britney was there!

Star reports that the shower was held in Kentwood at an estate that Britney purchased for her mother. The menu included included cold cuts, juice, and champagne.

Britney didn't smoke around Jamie and even told guests to smoke outside! Wow, that is HUGE!!!

The next day Britney and Jamie Lynn took a drive together and lunched at Sonic. A source said,"Both of them were just glowing, totally happy to be together." I'm sure the glowing part had to do with the greasy food.

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Britney gives deposition

Wow, first Lindsay wears underwear and now Britney Spends actually showed up for her deposition today!

And she went inside!!!

Brit showed up at K-Fed's attorney's office at 10:40a.m. this morning and stayed for over two hours, leaving at 1:20p.m.

The deposition will be used in the custody trial which is set for April.

No word on the details or which of Britney's personalities gave the deposition.

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Britney's Legal Y'all!

Britney Spears: Responsible Driver

Yesterday Britney Spears was issued an interim license from the California DMV.

A representative ofthe DMV, Mike Marando told PEOPLE,"She has fulfilled her requirements for a California driver's license. Ms. Spears actually took and passed a written test in April. She was fingerprinted and photographed yesterday. She will be issued a formal license in the mail soon."

Wow, they take your fingerprints in California? I didn't know that.

Anyway, congrats Britney and drive safely! WAIT, WATCH OUT FOR THAT...................

"Oops, I did it again!"

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K-Fed got the kids!

What's in the cup?

We can all breathe a big sign of relief for Sean Preston and Jayden James. TMZ has breaking news that Britney has lost custody!

' L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today stating that Kevin Federline, the boys' father, "is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court." '

You can view the official document here.


Let's see how long it takes Britney to notice. Seriously though, will SOMEONE help this crazy bitch before it's too late?

Catching Up With the Asshats

I know, I'm slacking again. Ok so wow, lots to catch up on with the asshats so lets get started.

So first off in Do We Care? news, the wedding of Usher and futurebabymama Tameka Foster is off. It was supposed to happen this past Saturday, but only hours before they called it off. No one really knows who called it off. Some say Usher, some say Tameka, some say Usher's mother, some say who gives a shit. They supposedly disagreed on lots of the wedding details. For instance, Tameka wanted to serve barbeque at the reception and Usher wanted a celebrity chef (I'm not kidding, it's on PEOPLE so it must be true) Also, Usher wanted to go shirtless and Tameka didn't like that idea (That's not on PEOPLE, but I'm going with it.) All I know is, good for them! It's refreshing that they realized they were making a mistake before they went through with it and then brought a child into the world. Oh wait. Well anyway, somewhere Chili is laughing and that warms my heart because Chili is awesome. No scrubs!

In more ex-couples news, Britney and K-Fed's divorce has been finalized. That's right ladies, Kevin Federline is a free man!! Goddammit, there are crickets in here! They agreed to a 50-5o custody split of their two sons. So 50 percent of the time K-Fed gets the kids and the other 50 percent Child Protective Services will get the children. It's kind of sad, who would have predicted while watching Chaotic that it would come to this. They seemed so in love.

At a recent concert, a female fan grabbed Tim McGraw's balls. His wife, Faith Hill was having none of that. She got onstage, grabbed a mic and proceeded to rip the fan a new one in front of the entire arena: "Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend,. You don't go grabbin' somebody else's, somebody's husband's [private parts], you understand me? That's very disrespectful." Well, I guess she sort of ripped her a new one, more like politely tore in a nice neat line, like those people that unwrap presents and go "Oh, what nice paper." She should have beat her ass like Whitney would have back in the day if some ho tried that with BobbAY. But thumbs up Faith, way to tell that bitch you are the only one who manhandles Tim's cojones in the classiest way possible. Too bad you couldn't use the same restraint when Carrie Underwood won the CMA.

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The Church of $cientology would like to welcome its newest member, Story Elias, the newborn son of Jenn Elfman. The kid was actually born on July 23rd but it was a silent birth and Jenna wasn't sure how long she was supposed to stay silent.

Just in case you missed it, she named the kid Story. Yeah.

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Now for the McConaughey report:

Still shirtless, hot, and active.


And now, a reason for all the new moms to feel really shitty about their post-baby bodies:
Jamie Pressley just had a baby like what, yesterday? Yeah, go do some crunches you lazy bitches!



Paris Hilton has been cast in a movie musical called Repo! The Genetic Opera. The film is set in 2056 and centers around a mysterious plague that threatens the survival of the human race, and things hinge on the financing of an expensive organ transplant.

Paris will play the part of the mysterious plague.

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Now that's one classy bitch

Here's a photo taken yesterday of Britney reportedly on the set of her music video. I feel kind mean, it seems every other post lately is of Brit wearing some horribly craptastic outfit. I can't help it though, it's like a train wreck, but with a weave.

Rumor is, the song the video is for is titled Get Back!! (No problem there Brit....Hey, now I get the outfit!) I sure hope they hired the effects team from Paula Abdul's Promise of a New Day video.

CELEBRITY COUPLES CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden in Las Vegas. Don't cry Hilary, I'm not a guy, but I'm pretty sure doing Nicole would probably actually be the equivalent of doing a hole in the wall (or that skeleton from Science class), so you were probably better, even if you didn't put out at all.



Jessica and John Mayer- the most obviously together "non-couple" since Vaughniston, spent NYE at a party at the Hudson Hotel New York City and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[THUD!]



Oops! Sorry, it was a combination of being bored and tired. I'm very "tired".

Anyway, speaking of Jess, rumor is Nick Lachey may have proposed to Vanessa Minnillo.

People reports: Lachey whispered into Minnillo's ear and kissed her neck. The occasion appeared to overwhelm Minnillo, who responded by dabbing away joyful tears. Minnillo later told PEOPLE she was pent up with emotion because "everyone that is important in my life is here. I literally choked up. I'm just so happy."

I was going to make an oral joke about Vanessa being choked up, but this is just sweet so I won't ruin it.

Finally, the hottest couple of all, Britney and alcohol!