Thursday, January 8, 2009

Support the Blackout Drunk!


One of the best reality shows that nobody watched ended (hopefully only its first season) recently. That show was called
Redemption Song and it featured eleven bitches who overcame tough times to give their singing careers a final shot (hence the name of the show) and win a contract with Geffen records. Sort of a low (very low) budget American Idol meets Rock of Love (without the washed-up douche in a wig). The problem with this show was that it aired on the Fuse network so hardly anybody knew about it (I stumbled on it one day while channel surfing). Which is too bad because had it been on VH1, MTV, or Bravo, it would have been a huge hit.

How could it not? The show had awesome challenges like making the contestants perform drunk or run up twenty flights of stairs, get all winded, and then perform a dance routine to Cold-Hearted Snake by Paula Abdul. I'm not joking. One time, they had to write and perform a rap where they called the other girls "hoes". Even cooler was the elimination process, when host Chris Jericho (WWE) would break their record (literally--each girl had an old-school 33RPM vinyl record and he would break them in half and say
"You've been dropped from the label". To add injury to insult, sometimes the pieces of the record would fly out and hit the poor girl! ) Of course there also were a lot of awesome catfights, often involving food. But the best part was the captions they'd put under the girls' names during their confessionals, each one explaining their reason for redemption. Some examples included "Ran an escort service, "Former child star turned drug dealer," "Blackout drunk," and my favorite, "Once threw a girl through a window." Seriously, y'all missed a really awesome show.

In the end it came down to Angelica Rose and Mixi, aka
"Former child star turned drug dealer" and "Blackout Drunk." Angelica had the better voice, but was really unlikable and committed the number one entertainment business no-no: Using the "N" word (she didn't call anyone it, but used it nonetheless. She then spent the rest of the series denying that she was racist.) Mixi on the other hand (she's the one with the Muppet on her head), wasn't the strongest singer, but was "the best performer" (aka -the most marketable) and won the contract.

They never actually explained the terms of the contract or what the winner received other than, you know,
the contract, but Geffen apparently coughed up enough for Mixi to a real song and release a real video. And you know what? It's pretty damn catchy. A little Amy Winehouse, a little Gwen Stefani, a little Veruca Salt (whatever happened to them?) And they fixed her hair too! But I guess promotion wasn't included the mysterious contract, because other than Fuse (which, again: nobody watches) I haven't seen one thing advertising it. So here's my part, not that a whole lot of people read this blog, but hey, probably more than watched Redemption Song (yeah I'm counting on one hand)

Here's Mixi's song "I Miss Those Days":



Hi! We're only pretending to care!



The awards season was kicked off last night with the People's Choice Awards on CBS. You know, the one where the public votes on the awards and the winners lie and say "This award means the most to me out of all them because it's voted on by you, the fans!" when it really means absolutely nothing to them because they think the public is a bunch of morons. Though, judging by some of these choices (not to mention categories), I can't blame them for thinking that.

Here are the winners:


FAVORITE MOVIE
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE FAMILY MOVIE
* WALL-E

FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE MOVIE COMEDY
* 27 Dresses

FAVORITE MOVIE DRAMA
* The Secret Life of Bees

FAVORITE INDEPENDENT MOVIE
* The Secret Life of Bees

FAVORITE CAST
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE MALE MOVIE STAR
* Will Smith

FAVORITE LEADING MAN (How is this different from Favorite Male Movie Star?)
* Brad Pitt

FAVORITE MALE ACTION STAR
* Will Smith

FAVORITE FEMALE MOVIE STAR
* Reese Witherspoon

FAVORITE LEADING LADY (how is this different.......?)
* Kate Hudson

FAVORITE FEMALE ACTION STAR
* Angelina Jolie

FAVORITE ON-SCREEN MATCH-UP
* Christian Bale & Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

FAVORITE SUPERHERO
* Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman

TELEVISION:

FAVORITE TV DRAMA
* House

FAVORITE TV COMEDY
* Two and a Half Men

FAVORITE ANIMATED COMEDY
* The Simpsons

FAVORITE SCI-FI / FANTASY SHOW
* Heroes

FAVORITE COMPETITION / REALITY SHOW
* Dancing with the Stars

FAVORITE GAME SHOW
* Deal Or No Deal

FAVORITE MALE TV STAR
* Hugh Laurie

FAVORITE FEMALE TV STAR
* Christina Applegate

FAVORITE TALK SHOW HOST
* Ellen DeGeneres

FAVORITE SCENE-STEALING GUEST STAR
* Robin Williams on Law & Order: SVU

FAVORITE TV DRAMA DIVA
* Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson on The Closer

FAVORITE NEW TV DRAMA
* The Mentalist

FAVORITE NEW TV COMEDY
* Gary Unmarried

MUSIC:

FAVORITE MALE SINGER
* Chris Brown

FAVORITE FEMALE SINGER
* Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE GROUP
* Rascal Flatts

FAVORITE R&B SONG
* No One by Alicia Keys

FAVORITE POP SONG
* I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry

FAVORITE ROCK SONG
* All Summer Long by Kid Rock

FAVORITE COUNTRY SONG
* Last Name by Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE HIP-HOP SONG
* Low by Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

FAVORITE COMBINED FORCES
* No Air by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown

FAVORITE SONG FROM A SOUNDTRACK
* Mamma Mia - Meryl Streep from Mamma Mia!

FAVORITE FUNNY MALE STAR
* Adam Sandler

FAVORITE FUNNY FEMALE STAR
* Tina Fey

FAVORITE STAR 35 & UNDER
* Carrie Underwood

SOURCE

Time to play : How old is Lindsay Lohan?


A) 22

B) 32

C) 42

D) That's Lindsay Lohan? I thought that was a dude!

Sorry John, Barbara called



TMZ reports that Tom Cruise is not attending his "friend" John Travolta's son's funeral today in Florida because he is in New York City taping an appearance on "The View."

Wow, for two people that are supposed to be friends, that's pretty unforgivable.

Even more unforgivable? Stalking someone's child's funeral like it's a goddamn movie premiere. Yeah, you TMZ!

Donna Martin will save 90210!



Guess what? Donna Martin is finally going to come back to 90210!! Tori Spelling is reportedly very, very close to finalizing the deal to guest star on the new series!! How close? As close as Kelly's bare ass was to the dirt in the woods when that asshole senior didn't bring a blanket!!

I can't wait to see Donna Martin again!! I wonder if she's still married to David as well as a top fashion designer! Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll get into some wacky and zany hijincks like she used to.

Let's celebrate Donna's return with some of her greatest moments!










SOURCE

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Because they think we are dumbasses


J-Lo and Marc Anthony attempted some damage control by taking a "romantic getaway" to Puerto Rico over the holidays.

Their reps have told PEOPLE, that despite all the rumors (and both publicly seen not wearing their wedding rings) that they doing "great."

Divorce announcement in 3.......2.........

Catching up

Sorry, sorry!! I know I have a habit of taking a few days between posts.

So let's get caught up on what's gone down so far in 2009:

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell had twins and named them Dolly and Charlie, neither of which are sheep nor male.


I'm sure everyone has heard the sad news about the passing of 16 year-old Jett Travolta. The death was determined to be the result of a seizure.
SOURCE


In happier news, Alyssa Milano has announced that she is engaged to agent David Bugliari.
SOURCE

BUT,

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her fiance Ross McCall have split up.
SOURCE


Another rumored-to-be troubled couple, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a second daughter yesterday, but have not yet released the name.
SOURCE


We finally got to see the Rock of Love Sharon Osborne/"model" (HA!)Megan catfight:

Staged or is Rodeo psychic (for knowing to wear waterproof pants)? You be the judge.