Just another day in the life of a legend

A man is claiming that Amy Winehouse assaulted him early Wednesday morning and British police are investigating.

"Police are investigating an alleged assault on Chalk Farm Road at approximately 3:20 am on April 23," says a Metropolitan Police spokesman. "A 38-year-old man [contacted] Kentish Town police station and alleged a 24-year-old woman had assaulted him. No arrests have been made as yet but inquiries continue."

The man claims the Amy headbutted him when he tried to hail her a taxi outside a London club. The nerve of that guy!! He totally had it coming!

But this wasn't the first guy Amy beat up that night. According to the Sun , earlier that evening, a 27 year old man named Mustapha el Mournmi (say that 3 times fast) wouldn't get out of her way at a pool table so Amy did the only logical thing. She gave the jerk a bruised eye and a swollen lip. Mustapha told the Sun: “I feel so angry. She smashed my face hard. I could not hit back — she’s a woman.”

After that Amy went home, then back out to another bar at 2am where an onlooker said, “She was off her face, throwing drinks around and turning over tables." The source added the Amy was yelling "I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs!”

Then the legend reportedly made out with some mystery guy and then left at 2.45am. That when that son of a bitch tried to hail the cab.

If that wasn't enough, then a lamppost started shit with her and she kicked it's ass too:

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Connor who?

"Are they taking the picture?"

Nicole Kidman's rep told Usmagazine that despite her expressionless face, she is "really excited" for 13-year old adopted son Connor who is set to make his movie debut playing a young Will Smith in the upcoming drama called Seven Pounds. This was after they showed Nicole a photo of Connor and reminded her that he is her son.

Nicole added, "maybe one day my real baby will be in a movie too!"

(I kid, but you believed it for a second, didn't you?)

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Thanks to Britney, crazy is in!

In a shocking twist on American Idol last night, Carly and Syesha (told ya!) were in the bottom 2, despite giving two of the best performances Tuesday night. CrazyBrooke and Spazzboy Castro were SAFE!!!! WTF??

In the end, Carly was sent home to the delight of the camera director, who is relieved he no longer has to figure out ways to make her tattoo-faced husband as least noticeable as possible. Good luck Carly, you grew on me at the end. What's funny is that more people know who she is now than when she had a 2 million dollar record deal!

Carly's elimination wasn't the only injustice last night. This week's Ford "music video" was to "Tainted Love" and Danny Noriega was nowhere to be found in it! And neither was that guy from A-ha!! They were fortunate enough to get Dee Snider though.

Don't Cry For Me Archuleta

MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:


Syesha was incredible last night! A show-stopping performance and the show had just started! Phenomenal! Sensational! Stupendous! Simon even got a woody!

How much you wanna bet she'll be eliminated tonight? I don't want her to, it just seems that's the way it goes on this show. (Crossing my fingers DialIdol is right and she's in the clear)

OTHER MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:


Geez, one makeover and some really great performances and now everyone wants to jump this guy, even David Guest-I mean Andrew Lloyd Webber, who tells poor David to sing to him while pretending he's beautiful jailbait. David's all "Who the hell do I look like, R. Kelly?" Then suddenly R. Kelly emerges from a closet somewhere and is all "What's that supposed to mean boy....boy..boy.. you're hot David! I ain't gay, but I want you. We can keep it on the downlow, nobody has to know." And then I'm like "GET IN LINE EVERYONE!"

But the line really goes to the casting call for Rock of Love 3 and David and I run off together and he sings this song to me and I'm like "Damn David, I knew you were good, but I didn't know you could pull this shit off, you are even more awesome than I thought!! I hope people finally stop comparing you to that douche Daughtry now." Then we passionately make out. Reprise. And scene. (Curtain)

Intermission.
"Hey Constantine, I'll take a pack of Goobers and a vodka and orange Fanta. Thanks and keep the change."


MOST AWESOMELY BAD PERFORMANCE:


That's not fair actually, because the first 1:44 of this clip (before he actually starts singing) is the most awesome part of the night. Yeah, that Jason's pretty special. I love the way Andrew Lloyd Webber refers to him, you really would think he's talking about a kid that rides the short bus.

Of course the best part is when Jason Vinny Barbarino's "I dinnit know a cat was singin' it." when referring to his selection "Memory." FROM CATS!!

Can we replace Seacrest as the host with this guy?

ANOTHER REALLY GOOD PERFORMANCE FROM CARLY:


YAY!


ANOTHER BORING PERFORMANCE FROM DAVID ARCHULETA (but douchebag Randy loves it):


BOO!

Oh Dear.....

Where...

I’m sorry

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, remember “Let it Be?”
I think it was the “Woo!”

Confidence… disappears
Can't anyone see that I'm breaking down live?
Still I’m accused of being contrived
What do I have to do?

Deep in my purse I'm concealing
Two very live hand grenades
I’LL BLOW THIS BITCH UP TO THE CEILING!
Nevermind, it’s okay

You must love me (or else)

Britney and K-Fed sittin in a tree.....

Star is reporting that Britney and K-Fed shared a kiss on April 8th when Kevin was at Britney's to pick up the kids.

And insider revealed, "They were discussing the boys and how they're doing when she suddenly got in close and kissed Kevin. She did it because she felt so close to him at that moment."

On Kevin's reaction, the insider said, "He loved the kiss, of course." The source said Kevin then said to Britney, "Should we be doing this in front of the boys?" Britney's reponse, "We're their parents, so why not?"

Don't get too excited, Kevin could have just been drinking a Frappuccino and had a little on his lips.

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Told ya it was only a matter of time

More photos of the skank trying to get out of Miley have surfaced recently!

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Umaga for President!

That's all I have to say about WWE's Hillary vs. Obama wrestling match last night. Thank you Umaga! Bill was awesome though: "I did not have illegal contact with that candidate." I will also say that it's cool they got Will Smith to play Obama-his Rock impersonation wasn't bad.

In something I thought we'd never see though, the real Hillary, Obama, and John McCain actually did appear on Raw last night to read awkward wrestling cliche-riddled campaign speeches in an effort to pick up some votes. This is a strange, strange time. Remember when Bill Clinton was the only candidate to appear on MTV? Now it's normal to hit American Idol, SNL, and the WWE on the campaign trail.

Next week, be sure to watch Flavor of Love to see the Presidential candidates compete for your vote. "Just like Pumkin, I'll spit in the face of terrorists."