Friday, January 19, 2007

Is Paris gonna get her droopy eye fixed?

Supposedly Paris consulted a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon earlier this week to fix her lazy eye.

Paris is rumored to have had surgery a few years ago to lift her eyelids (because, like everything goes after you hit the mature old age 20!) and the muscles in her left eye were damaged. Then it got worse because it got dried out by her wearing blue-colored contact lenses (what?!! Next they're gonna say she's not a natural blonde!)

Of course Paris's rep, Elliot Mintz said,
"To the best of my knowledge, Paris has never had any kind of cosmetic surgery and has not mentioned any medical procedures having to do with her eyes." (Kinda cryptic-- didn't flat out deny it, just said to the best of his knowledge. Hmmmm.)




' The rapper tried to attend the CAA party after the Golden Globes, but when the hip-hop mogul arrived with his entourage at the Sunset Tower, he was told his name wasn't on the list. When Diddy became "verbally abusive and started yelling at security," said one witness, hotel owner Jeff Klein came out and "kindly asked Puffy to leave." Combs shouted, "What are you going to do - call the police?" Klein said, "Yes!" Combs shouted back, "Just try it - I'll spend the rest of my life hunting you down!" But he left soon after. A source claims Combs has been blacklisted from CAA parties since an incident years ago when he lost his temper with an assistant to CAA co-chief Bryan Lourd, who was hosting an Oscar party. "He showed up uninvited and threw a fit when he wasn't let in," a source said. "He wasn't invited then, either." Combs is now said to be banned from the Sunset Tower. '

Hahaha!!! I love it when celebs who think they're entitled to everything are de-nied!

The American Idol scandals are already starting!

' In 2004, Thomas Daniels was convicted of DUI in Clackamas, Oregon. The 21-year-old, who was the first wannabe to get the green light from the "AI" crew on last night's show, pled guilty and was sentenced to a one-year alcohol diversion program and a $680 fine. Daniels also attended eight AA meetings and saw a counselor once a week for two months. After the completing his DUI sentence, the incident was wiped from Daniels' record.

TMZ spoke exclusively with Daniels who said, in reference to his DUI, "I was young and dumb and drinking and driving."

In December 2005, Daniels was arrested again; this time for hit and run. He failed to appear in court for the arraignment for the hit and run, so Daniels was arrested again. TMZ could not find the disposition of the hit and run. Daniels called the incident "another young and dumb situation." '

Young and dumb? That hit and run was just a little over one year ago! He'd better think of a new excuse, because he isn't gonna be able to use that one too much longer. Asshat!

I've decided to help young and dumb Thomas out by composing a list of songs he could sing on the show:

"Closing Time" by Semisonic
"Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg
"I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood
"Drive My Car" by the Beatles
"Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman
"Straight Up" by Paula Abdul (come on, use your head:"or am I caught in a hit and run?")

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Caption Time

"Thank God you're still there Sean my baby!!
Mama's so sorry she left you on that swing last week!"

"Wait Kate, let me get on the other side so I look taller than you."

Dear lord, that poor child got his father's hair!

Somebody's on their way to a rainbow party!


Seacrest Out-raged

It's a battle of the bitches!! Ryan Seacrest is flippin mad at Angelina Jolie for acting like a complete asshat during a red carpet interview Monday at the Golden Globes.

On Ryan's radio show Wednesday morning he said “I asked her four questions and she didn’t even answer me. I literally stood there and tried to ask a couple of questions. At one point I just kind of let the E! microphone sit in front of her for a second to see if she was going to acknowledge it, and she clearly wanted nothing to do with me or my question or my answer or any of it.”

He did say about Pitt, “Brad was fantastic.”

His on-air cohost Ellen K then rebutted, "Well, she has said that she finds all these award shows a waste of time and money."

Seacrest angrily responded, "Well then don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go support your man. Don’t go."

He's a complete egomaniac and I hate him for getting Kathy Griffin fired from E! but I'm Team Seacrest all the way on this one. I think it's awesome that someone finally has the balls to call out Saint Angelina.


Another reason dogs rule

' Salma Hayek’s dog saved her life on the day of the Golden Globe Awards, The Insider’s Pat O’Brien reports.

The Ugly Betty creator explains that she “had a headache and went to lie down" and was awakened from her nap by her dog, Diva, grabbing at her sleeve and trying to pull her out of the house. The 40-year-old actress then realized that the gas was on in her house. '


My chihuahua is pretty smart too. He alerts me that my bedsheets need washing by pissing on them.

Sienna and Josh?


' New couple alert? Sienna Miller and Josh Hartnett certainly seemed cozy at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Tuesday night.

Miller, 25, and Hartnett, 28, sat side-by-side on a couch in the hotel restaurant's living room area, laughing and chatting for about an hour before they were joined by a female friend of Miller's.

But they kept things intimate – at one point, Miller stood in front of a seated Hartnett, who held on to her thigh with his hand. The pair eventually headed out, cocktails in hand, to the hotel's poolside bungalow area. '

I think eventually everyone in Hollywood will have slept with each other if they haven't already. I don't get the Josh Harnett thing though. He seems boring and nerdy to me. I wouldn't doubt that he's fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon.

Speaking of Sienna, PAGE SIX has a report today that Sienna is really, really into method acting. While playing the part of Edie Sedgwick in the upcoming "Factory Girl" journalist Sharon Churcher said "Her friends say . . . her life was in danger of spiraling out of control. They say she adopted Edie's mannerisms on and off the set, dieted ruthlessly to attain her painfully thin appearance while still drinking freely, and flirted with Sedgwick's dissolute lifestyle, socializing with [Andy] Warhol protégés who are known drug-takers."

I bet Lindsay Lohan is kicking herself that she didn't think of that excuse.

Lindsay's in Rehab!

Lindsay Lohan has finally checked into rehab. She released the following statement:

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

I wonder what the wake-call finally was. Maybe it's when she realized she was dating that disgusting skank Joe Francis.

Good luck to her! Here's hoping her sobriety lasts longer than a week this time!


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Note to American Idol Producers:

NO MORE JEWEL!!! Isn't she on Nashville Star too? I guess since she isn't successful in her own recording career that she's going to make a full time job out of judging others and being snotty. She would have been good as a judge on Superstar USA a few years ago, but not this! Paula barely said anything last night and that's? That's not cool.

NO MORE CELEBRITY GUEST JUDGES PERIOD! It ruins the dynamic. The only one I ever liked was Quentin Tarantino so I guess he's ok. And Axl Rose would be cool of course. Maybe Whitney too. But everyone else, no.

STOP STAGING REJECTS! That juggler guy couldn't even get a tear out! The "Amish" guy? Come on! You can't manufacture a William Hung! And even if the people are doing it on their own, there are ten's of thousands of them--couldn't they pick the "good" ones to go through. There has to be at least a few! Cowardly lion girl came close, but she's no Mary Roach or Leroy Wells or even Sil-a-lent Night, I- said- a- Hol--oly night.

GIVE THAT POOR BOY SOME PROACTIV! Y'all know who I'm talking about:

How could they let him go on tv like that? Now he will forever be known on message boards dedicated to AI as "Zitboy." (much like that other girl will be known as "Crackbaby")

STOP THE DUMB "WRONG DOOR" GAG - When you gotta use childish pranks to get laughs, something's wrong.

and finally,

Don't let Courtney Love audition!

I hope tonight's show is better. Judging by the preview it looks like we may get some legitimate freaks. If I lived in Seattle, I'd be pissed though. It looks like Carnivale.

Crack the door for the curious girl cause she's waiting, she's been waiting (and waiting and waiting.....)

Maybe Les Deux should start charging Lindsay Lohan rent for her bathroom use! Friday night at the hot Hollywood nightclub, La Lohan spent twenty minutes in the bathroom angering a large line of people waiting to use the loo, too.

While Paris Hilton was in rare form —behaving herself — Lindsay was full diva hogging the private bathroom all for herself and without any remorse.

"I saw Lindsay walk in and thought she'd come right out but she didn't, she was in there for like twenty minutes!" says a source. "People started getting mad. Twenty minutes is just unacceptable. You should just go in and out because you know people are waiting. But not Lindsay."

Ten minutes into Lindsay's bathroom lockdown, the line of revelers turned into an angry mob. They wanted Lindsay out!

"These girls got so mad they started kicking the door and yelling nasty names at her like 'Bitch' and 'Slut,' but Lindsay still did not come out. So selfish!" Finally, after the eternal twenty minute wait, Lindsay came out — without an apology.

"Instead, she pointed her finger at everyone and looked everyone in the eye and asked, 'Which one of you said 'F**k You?' That is just not OK!'"

The eyewitness described Lindsay as behaving "like an eighth grader fighting back, when she should have let it go and moved on."

When the restless crowd started laughing at her, Lindsay's turned red. A girl yelled, "Firecrotch!" and Lindsay got visibly upset.

But keeping her cool, Lindsay gave a disgusted look to the crowd and said, "F**k you bitches," and fled the stairs. C'mon Lindsay! Next time kill your enemies with kindness! '

Don't these people realize it takes awhile to chop the perfect line. Especially when you have to balance the mirror on your lap and you have a firecrotch for crying out loud!

Speaking of Jessicas..

The "It" Jessica of last year and another of Derek Jeter's belt notches named Jessica, Jessica Alba is rumored to be engaged to her boyfriend of two years, Cash Warren. Cash supposedly proposed at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve/Day and Jess has been spotted wearing a diamond ring. Jessica's rep, however, denies the report. What does it matter? Celebrity engagements are the new celebrity marriages, they can just break it off in five or six months. Or days.


Girl Fight Tonight! Your lips are gonna kiss the street!


' January 17, 2007 -- CAMERON Diaz is not over Justin Timberlake just yet, and things got heated when she saw her ex chatting up Jessica Biel in L.A. after the Golden Globes. Sources say the temperamental star "blew up" at Biel after she saw Timberlake flirting with her. Diaz followed Timberlake to the In Style party at the Hilton Oasis, where "they had an awkward conversation." The "Charlie's Angels" star then trailed Timberlake to the Beverly Hilton rooftop for the Universal party, where she found him chatting up Biel - and screamed at the "Illusionist" star. "If that's how she wants to get him back, it won't work," said our insider. "She's desperate." Reps for Diaz did not return our call. '

Diaz allegedly threatened to tie up Biel and stick her make-up artist on her.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I bet he keeps the bar well stocked at home

Brad managed to finally get rid of Angie's plastered-on bitchface last night at the Golden Globes with a tried and true remedy: alcohol!

Fun With Matthew McConaughey

Matt sure is working up a sweat getting into the groove (it must be that fuzzy blue hat) . Oddly, there are no pit stains. He must use some strong antiperspirant. Either that or the front of the shirt is dribbled beer.

Matt tries out his new dance move, the "Where'd My Finger Go? It's Magic!"

Scary Spice rebounds from Eddie Murphy! The two play a rousing game of Tune In Toyko.

High school girls: I get older, they stay the same age. Matt then asks who'd like to go back to his place to play naked bongos. Has he a couple takers. The blonde isn't so sure though.

Dylan and Renee?

From the NY POST:

' NEW couple alert: Renée Zellweger is cruising on a "90210" cast member. The "Miss Potter" star went out with Luke Perry Thursday night. Seated at an intimate table at the Sunset Tower hotel's Tower Bar restaurant, they were "definitely on a date," said our L.A. spy. "They both looked super-skinny. He was looking very grungy - baggy jeans, lumberjack flannel shirt and baseball cap. She had on a white button-down shirt, glasses and striped pants. They were talking very closely and rubbing knees." '

Hey Renee, a word of advice: Watch out for that bitch Kelly Taylor!

Golden Globe Caption Fun!

Ang - "I 'm better than her and her and him and her and....................."
Brad - "I kind of miss Jen, we'd toke up before these events. It's kind of boring like this."

"You were supposed to wear a GREEN tie to go with my gown! How can we be the new Jack and Karen if we can't color coordinate!"

Did Uncle Jesse get hairplugs? His hair kind of reminds me of Elton John's.

"I have a foot long cock and slept with Heather Locklear. Suck on that Mr. Paparazzi! "

" Donald, why exactly are we here?"

"Oh good, Donald Trump is here. Now I won't be number one on the Worst Hair list!"

"Yes, I have an accent. I thought we were over this. I'm English. Can I continue now moron?"

"Get Denise out of here!"

"Are you all sure I don't have frogs in my hair? It really feels like I do."

You remember when Lara Flynn Boyle showed up to an awards show in a tutu because Jack cheated on her with a dancer? Maybe Justin cheated on Cameron with a clown.

Golden Globes!

Congrats to Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphey, Sasha Cohen, America and Ugly Betty, Martin Scorsese and Hugh Laurie! You can see all the winners here.