Friday, July 18, 2008


Hey Bitches (any bitches even still there?),

So I'm back from an unplanned (and unwanted) sabbatical. Life really sucks sometimes, but no one ever said it wasn't going to.

You just have to deal with some things and always try to remember that no matter how bad things seem to be, there's always someone else in a worse situation. Yeah, it's kind of a selfish way of thinking (
"this shit sucks, but at least it doesn't suck as much as what those other people are going through.."), but it makes you thankful for the positive things that you do have, and the most important thing you could have is hope, which I'm really thankful to have, because some people don't even get to have that.

So anyway, apparently I missed the most monumental event of the year.

Yeah, the birth of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt of course!

Speaking of, here's a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier about things sucking but other things sucking more for somebody else. Angelina and Brad's new twins being born sucks for Shiloh, who is now old news. However, it sucks more for Jennifer Aniston, who, for no matter how long she and Brad are divorced will continually be expected to comment on every development in Brad and Angelina's relationship for the rest of her life and will always have to say how happy she is for them so she comes off as the bigger person when she really wants to say "FUCK THEM BOTH, I HOPE THEIR MUTANT BABIES LOOK LIKE SLOTH FROM THE GOONIES!"

Nicole Kidman (above, post-birth) also recently gave birth to that tiny baby she's been carrying around. This sucks for her husband Keith Urban, because now he'll no longer have his wife to himself. However, this sucks even more for Nicole's other two (adopted) children, Connor and Isabella, because now they'll be down to only one photo opp with their mom per year instead of two.

See, how this works?

I missed yet another baby's birth..or is it baby giving birth? Jamie Lynn Spears popped out her little bundle of joy too! This sucks for Jamie, the father, their families, Jamie's career, Planned Parenthood, Zoey 101 fans, etc. But it sucks more for parents of teenagers who on top of trying to teach their children about sex and responsibility, will have to also explain what is wrong with a national magazine treating a 16 year old mother like a celebrity and paying her millions for a cover story.

In non-baby news, the long-awaited and much-hyped Batman sequel, "The Dark Knight" opened last night to rave reviews. This sucks for Jack Nicholson, who was reportedly pretty pissy in the past that he wasn't asked to reprise his role as the Joker for the film and is probably even more pissy now that everyone's going on and on about Heath Ledger's amazing performance. But it sucks even more for the costume designer from "Batman and Robin" who is now working at the Real Doll factory.

So when faced with something bad in your life, always remember: This shit sucks, but there's always somebody else going through suckier shit.