Friday, September 28, 2007

Shut the hell up, we all saw you laughing at her!

Rihanna is the latest person to jump on the Leave Britney Alone train. Here's what she has to say (now) in a recent interview when asked about Brit's tour de force VMA performance:

"You can't judge her performance without knowing what was going on with her personally. She had so much pressure for that one performance. I'm telling you, it's not easy being on that stage. I performed for a minute and a half, and I was extremely nervous. To have the amount of pressure that Britney had? I don't know what I would've done. She did her best, so leave her alone."



Get her Chrissy!


Does anyone even care about Katharine McPhee?

Nevermind then. I was gonna tell you that she's engaged to that creepy dude she's been dating that's like 60 years old.


Good News Ladies (and young boys)!!!

Woo hoo, get that Jesus Juice on ice! Michael Jackson is NOT married!

Earlier this week, many hearts were crushed when reports came out that Jacko had married his children's nanny, Grace Rwaramba. However now his spokeswoman has released a statement that the rumors are false:

"Wide-spreading reports regarding Michael Jackson being married are not true. Documents stating otherwise are a hoax."

I know you all are relieved that this hot piece is still on the market.


All this celebrity generosity is starting to make me sick!! Kidding! So Shakira is donating $40 million, yes that's FORTY million dollars, to help rebuild areas in Peru and Nicaragua hit by recent natural disasters. The money is coming from a foundation co-founded with Nobel Prize winning author Gabriel Garcia Marquez called Latin America for Solidarity Foundation (ALAS)

Shakira said, "I've seen first-hand many of the challenges facing Latin America.
These are challenging problems that no one person can address, but working together everyone can help make a difference."

Shakira is awesome. Top that one Angelina!


By the way, sorry I'm being so soft today. I'm still really bummed out by the end of last night's Ugly Betty.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Nominees

Remember when...

The nominees for the latest class of inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame were announced today. The nominees are Madonna, The Beastie Boys, John Mellencamp, Donna Summer, Afrika Bambaataa, Chic, singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen, the The Dave Clark Five and the The Ventures. Only five of these nine nominees will be inducted though and will be announced in January. So that means Madonna, Beastie Boys, John Mellencamp, Donna Summer, and one of the other ones will be honored at the induction ceremony in New York on New York on March 12, 2008.

To be eligible, a performer or group must have released a first single or album at least 25 years ago. Yup, we all feel pretty damn old right now, don't we?


Who's Knocked Up?

PEOPLE has confirmed that Melissa Joan Hart (or Sabrina. Or Clarissa if you're old-school.) is four-months pregnant with her second child with husband Mark Wilkerson. Congrats Melissa! Or Sabrina. Or Clarissa!

There is a rumor that the gorgeous Eva Mendes is also expecting after she was spotted at a yoga class for pregnant women. Here's a recent photo. Hmmm. Baby bump or big lunch?


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hotel Rwanda Hilton

Continuing (to appear) to make good on her promise of post-prison philanthropy, Paris Hilton is planning to visit Rwanda later this year. She has reportedly been invited by Scott Lazerson, whose year-old Playing for Good charity assists celebrities in getting involved with organizations that benefit those in need.

"I want to visit more countries where poverty and children's issues are a big concern," she said. "I know there's a lot of good I can do just by getting involved and bringing attention to these issues."

Dammit Paris, you are making it harder for me to make fun of your skanky ass when you pull shit like this!


Hey Sandra, can you take back all the mental images too?

In Do-We-Even-Still-Care? news, comedienne Sandra Bernhard is pulling a Marcia Brady regarding her relationship with Madonna in the late 80's. She is now saying that while they were very close friends, they were never lovers, even though they implied they were at the time.

Sandra said,
"I don't mind being asked about Madonna. It was awesome at the time. We had a really funny friendship and kind of played with the press and the media. It was before the internet and there was still a little bit of allure and excitement and fun to it."

I don't know why, but this pisses me off a little. I kinda feel used. That was the first time as a child I can remember learning what a lesbian was.


Are we still playing this game?

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were spotted canoodling by the fire (Stop laughing!) at a party at Carrie Fisher's house Sunday night after attending Rufus Wainwright's tribute to Judy Garland's 1961 Carnegie Hall concert (Hardy, har, har, Judy Garland, we get it.) at the Hollywood Bowl.

A source said: "Jake and Reese were sitting by the fire all night, talking. Everyone was talking, laughing and celebrating Rufus, but they were deep, deep in conversation. It was like there was no one else in the world."

Jake and Reese attended the concert with Jake's father, Stephen Gyllenhaal, and his actress godmother Jamie Lee Curtis (I had no clue she was his godmother. That would mean she could also be his godfather too right?) bringing on speculation that the two, who have yet to confirm that they are dating, (Ok,
seriously, stop it! ) are getting serious.


I don't know what's so funny. I'm sure after their intense, in-depth conversation about Judy Garland they had some hot and nasty sex.

New Trend: Being Generous

It's really refreshing to hear stuff like this.

' Bridget Jones' star [Renee Zellwegger] met Bobbi Brown make-up artist Wendy Faracino in the shoe department of the Southampton branch of Saks Fifth Avenue while they were both admiring a pair of Manolo Blahniks last week.

A source told the New York Post newspaper: 'Wendy was on her lunch break and was standing gazing longingly at the pair of Manolos when Renée strolled up to her and the pair began chatting about the shoes.

'A few minutes after she went back to work, the shoe department manager brought Wendy a gift-wrapped box and told her 'These are compliments of Renée Zellweger. She wanted you to have them.' 'It was the Manolos.' '

Generousity seemes to be contagious because Colin Farrell recently spread his wealth by taking a homeless man shopping for a $2,100 wardrobe and renting him a room for a full year. The total came to over $10,000!

I don't even care if there were PR stunts, those people made out. It's kind of like that movie Pay It Forward (by the way, if you haven't seen it, don't. It's really sad at the end) Go Renee and Colin! If I were rich and famous I'd do the same thing.

Actually, no, I probably wouldn't, I'm a selfish bitch.


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

At least nobody called her Aretha

New York Daily News recently ran a story about how Mariah Carey had nine assistants on hand at the recent VH1's Save the Music Foundation GALA last Thursday night in New York. Those nine assistants included, among others, a brush holder, a hot-roller carrier, a double-stick taper, a butcher, a baker, and a candle-stick maker.

In addition to the nine assistants, Mariah had eight bodyguards (entourage count: 17) who surrounded her and yelled "Get out of the way! Mariah's coming!" to not only nobodies like us, but also to the other celebrities.

As you can imagine this pissed off quite a few people. The NY Post reported that Vanessa Carlton was "overheard cackling, rolling her eyes and making nasty comments throughout Carey's acceptance speech."

And, according to, Mariah also got dissed upon her arrival for dinner at the Waverly Inn that night when someone yelled out "We love and support you Britney! When someone corrected that person that it wasn't Britney (bitch), the joker loudly responded, "Oh, sorry Lindsay, good luck with your demons."

That shit's almost as awesome as Mariah.


Wanna feel old?

Madonna is currently working on lining up concert dates for a world tour next year to celebrate her 50th birthday. It will be called "MADONNA AT 50." She turns the big 5-0 in August 2008.

Rumor is that Madonna will be re-working many of her classics in honor of her milestone birthday.

Here are some of the titles in progress:

"Burning Up (Menopause Remix)"

"Get Into Those Prunes"

"Bran Cereal Girl"

"Papa Don't Die"

"Frozen (Extended Botox mix)"

"Nothing Like a Virgin"

"Don't Tell's on the tip of my mind.."

"Keep It Together (
Metamucil forever and ever)"

"True Blue (Viagra edition)"

(Ok, I'm spent. Add some more guys!)

In all seriousness though, Madge looks better than a lot of women half her age. Case in point:


Indiana Jones and the Dumbass from Oklahoma playing a Dancing Russian Soldier

PAGE SIX reports that one of the dumbass extras working on the new "Indiana Jones" film is in big trouble after revealing some of the movie's top-secret plot points in an interview with his hometown paper.

The entire cast and crew of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" had to sign non-disclosure agreements by order of both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg (yeah,two people an aspiring actor really should NOT piss off) But "dancing Russian soldier" or maybe I should say "former-dancing Russian soldier" Tyler Nelson didn't quite understand that.

In an interview with Oklahoma's Edmond Sun newspaper Tyler revealed the followign spoilers:

* Indy, played once again by Harrison Ford, and the Soviet army are both searching for a priceless skull made of crystal in the jungles of South America. (well in Tyler's defense, you can get that much from the title)

* The Russians take Indy hostage and then blackmail him by threatening to kill his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son, Marion Ravenwood, portrayed by Karen Allen. Cast as the son is Shia LaBeouf.

* Cate Blanchett plays an evil Russian who grills Indy. "I saw Harrison Ford strapped to a chair and being interrogated," Nelson told the paper. Word is this one's false and that Nelson simply mistook Harrison's Acorn Stairlift for a set prop.

*There is no opening number by Kate Capshaw. (BOOOOO!)

Spielberg's spokesman, Marvin Levy, would not confirm or deny these spoilers but did say in response to Nelson: "Who knows whether that particular person will ever work in this town again?"

In too little too late news, Page Six contacted Nelson who said"No comment. I'm not supposed to talk about it."

Asshat Hollywood, however, was able to get a comment out of Tyler. We caught up with him on his way out of a meeting with the man below. When asked how he felt about everything, Tyler responded,
"My heart is broken."

We have also learned that the role of the dancing Russian soldier has been recast with Chris Crocker.

Van Halen Tour Sneak Peek

If anyone's wondering how the Van Halen tour will be (before it implodes that is) here's some rehearsal footage from September 16th.

Dave needs more sequins and Wolfie looks out of place, but you know, it ain't bad. Not bad at all. They sound pretty damn good.

1:35 A.M.

After a night of partying at the FOX Eco-Casino party at the Area nightclub, Kiefer Sutherland was stopped by police after making an illegal U-turn in on La Cienga and Beverly in West Hollywood. He was given a Breathalyzer and failed, allegedly blowing more than twice the legal limit of .08.

4:09 A.M.:

Kiefer was booked on DUI at the LA Sheriff's Department.

5:42 A.M.:

Kiefer was released on $25,000 bail.

As of 8:48A.M.:
A rep for Sutherland could not immediately be reached for comment.

October 16:
Kiefer will face a judge.


Monday, September 24, 2007

Sex Shots

The Sex and the City movie is currently filming in New York City and the following photos have surfaced. It looks AWESOME!!!!!

Ok, ok, to see the real photos click here

Speaking of the movie, word is that the claws have already come back out between Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker after Kim reportedly stormed out "scowling" from the reunion party for the cast held at the NYC restaurant Butter over the weekend to celebrate the start of filming. Awww, just like old times!

Timberfuck lives up to his name

Remember the most awesome episode of Punk'd?

Justin Timberfuck has come clean about the reason that two of his recent concerts in California were cancelled. Originally he claimed that he strained his voice after his performance at the VMA's, but there were rumors that the real reason he cancelled the shows was because he drank one too many wine spritzers at the afterparty (that would mean he drank two -- you know that's all he can handle.).

Justin revealed that he's a big fat liar at a recent show in San Jose when he said, "Certain bloggers said I cancelled because I was hungover and they were right… I was."

He must be taking lessons in pissing off your fans from his ex-girl Brit.


New Babymamas!

Congrats to Salma Hayek who gave birth to a baby girl, Valentina Paloma Pinault, on Friday, September 21st. Her publicist said in a statement, "Mother and child are doing well."
It is the first child for the 41-year-old actress, who is engaged to French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault. Salma is currently deflating.


Congrats also to "Dancing with the Stars" co-host Samantha Harris who gave birth on Sunday to Josselyn Sydney Hess. Guess what Samantha's publicist said? Yup, both mother and child are doing well. Meanwhile, Samantha's temporary replacement of tonight's premiere of "Dancing With the Stars" is a "surprise." Yawn, ten bucks it's Lisa Rinna.