Happy Friday!! Here's some awesomeness!

Haven't had a chance to post much today, but enjoy this amazing David Blaine video I found on YouTube!

This Just In.....

Amy Winehouse has decided she wants to become an anchorwoman!




Oh yeah.........And,




DON'T DO DRUGS!

Jeremy Piven's kind of a stalker

Last week in Hollywood, Jeremy Piven was spotted picking up two mini-dresses from a gift suite. When the staff asked who the dresses were for, Jeremy first played it coy and said they were for a "curvy brunette" that he had a crush on, but later revealed they were for Dita Von Teese after he realized he didn't know her size. (Hey Jeremy, I'm pretty sure her waist size is -5 inches. Damn!)

An employee said, "He said he likes her, but it's not official yet." So he doesn't officially like her?

Dita's lawyer, Keith Fink confirms that the two have met and gives Jeremy this advice: "She is single, and she's not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there's a lot of guys interested."

This whole story's kind of weird. So he's picking out clothes for her, but he's too chickenshit to ask her out on an actual date?

Maybe the Dita thing was a cover and the clothes were really for himself? That one actually makes more sense. And if that's the case, he probably has a pretty good chance with Dita, since she likes that kind of thing:





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Upgrade?

Ashlee Simpson is now a redhead. She looks good. Take note Lohan!

Be Mine, Kiss Me, Knock Me Up

Remember when you were in grade school and every Valentine's Day you had to have your mom buy those boxes of mini Valentine's Day Cards to give to your classmates and it was always weird and embarrassing? (Do schools even do this anymore?)

Well, teen sensation Jamie Lynn Spears and her Zoey 101 castmates shot some photos for American Greetings to be used for Zoey Valentine's Day cards. Upon learning of her pregnancy, bosses of the company considered pulling the cards, but they have reportedly now decided to release them anyway.

Now prepubescent girls can pass along their dreams of someday carrying their teenage crush's (or maybe even teacher's if they really want to be like Jamie Lynn!) lovechild! How sweet!

The cards will be available in select fine stores including 7-11, Starbucks, and in the maternity section of Forever 21.

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Yawn...........

Everyone can breathe a big sigh of relief. Britney's NOT pregnant.

She was just fucking with us and/or buying the pregnancy kit for a "friend."

In other Britney news, eight paparazzi were arrested last night for reckless driving after chasing Britney and she's still doing that annoying British accent that's even worse than Madonna's.

(I realize I'm just posting TMZ links, but frankly, I'm getting a little bored with Britney's antics. It's like a child begging for attention at their parents' adults-only party when they're supposed to stay in their room and play with their Barbies.)

SPLIT

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have spilt just two weeks after their ceremonial "wedding" (not legal) on a private island off Bora Bora.

The uncouple released the following statement: "After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

PEOPLE reports that the relationship was doomed before the honeymoon was over. A wedding guest said, "Eddie started yelling at Tracey in front of people. He did it on a few occasions and it was very embarrassing."

You know Mel B. is laughing.

I bet this guy already has a record contract

I thought after seven seasons, we'd seen it all on American Idol and there wouldn't be another audition as awesome as William Hung. Many have tried and failed (Mary Roach anyone?).

But last night there was Reynaldo.

Whenever we speak of American Idol to future generations, we shall speak of Reynaldo and his masterpiece, Brothers Forever.

In all seriousness, this song is better than the crappy coronation songs they make the winner sing at the end. For real, remember Do I Make You Proud?

And Paula is just awesome at the end. Who knew she was a member of the Happy Hands club?

Reynaldo is so gonna be in the finale with a big number. I bet they hook him up to wires and he flies around the stage sprinkling fairy dust while interpretive dancers (choreographed by Paula of course) in sparkly, flowy costumes sway. Soon after, the song will bring world peace.

I dare you not to sing along.

Tell me this isn't what it looks like

Yup, that's a pregnancy test.

Yup, that's Britney!

Yup, that's a sweatshirt from 1987.

The Hollywood Baby Epedemic Continues

TMZ is reporting today that David Spade knocked up a 22-year-old Playboy Playmate named Jillian Grace.

Jillian became Miss March 2005, after passing one of Howard Stern's Playboy Evaluations on his show.

David said, "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility."

Yes, David Spade may have knocked up a Playboy Playmate. Don't look so surprised. Rumor is he's packin'.

Here's Jillian:

American Idol Hates Nerd People! Duh!

I saved the most embarrassing audition for last. It's most embarrassing for me because this NERD, duh, is from my homestate of Connecticut.

I love how people keep taking the Princess Leia buns off her ears so she can hear them, it reminds me of Spaceballs.

Did she seriously think Ryan was trying to pick her up when he was trying to get her to say the force was with her? Maybe if she were Hans Solo.

I'd Peter Faulk this dude

Here's another awesome audition from last night's American Idol premiere.

Paul really, really loves Paula and wrote her a very sweet love song. The guy's obviously a radio jock or an aspiring comedian but the song's pretty catchy. I'm totally going to start using the Jimmy Walker line.

Paula blew it. She should have yelled "YES, I'LL MARRY YOU!!" and jumped into his arms. That would have ruled.

What's up with Paula anyway? Lucid Paula sucks! Give her the damn Coke cup already!!

Seriously, is this a man?

So in case you haven't heard, there's this little show called American Idol where these kids try out to be singers. The best part is the first few shows when all the rejects are exploited for us to point and laugh at.

One of last night's standouts was this thing called Alexis. Alexis wants to be a veterinarian someday and lives in a one room apartment with her mother. She's determined to be a singer or a motivational speaker or something but a star one way or the other. Her audition actually isn't terrible, but the judges are totally correct about her not being right for the show. Or this planet. Alexis doesn't take the news very well. But at least she leaves with her dignity. Good luck with the actressing!

The best part comes in at 4:56. I want to marry Simon so bad!

Another celebrity baby -- I blame the writer's strike!

Get out the bongos and celebrate! Matthew McConaughey announced yesterday on his website that he and his Brazilian model girlfriend, Camila Alves are expecting a baby.

Matt wrote: "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. It's 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. Wanna know how we made it? See, first I put the ol' love machine in her hooha and yaahhhooo! Git er'done! Now there's this teeny little person in there all growin' an' shit!"

Ok, not really, but you could imagine him saying that second part though right?

Matt continues: "We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being mother and a father, and shepherding him or her through this life. Wish us the best, keep us in your prayers, and God bless evolution. Thanks for being fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and Camila and our child do our best to just keep living.
-Wow,
McConaughey."


Matt's rep says, "He is euphoric. He couldn't be happier."

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Sad news

Actor Brad Renfro died yesterday. He was only 25 years old.

Brad spent Monday night with friends in a Los Angeles apartment. Friends say they heard him snoring overnight, but he was found not breathing on Tuesday morning. After his friends called 911, paramedics pronounced him dead on arrival at 9 a.m.

A cause of death was not immediately determined, but Craig Harvey, chief investigator for the Los Angeles county coroner, said that drug overdose is a "possibility." Harvey added, "but right now all we have is the history of his drinking the previous night. All that we have is that he was last known to be alive during the morning hours and he was snoring."

Brad starred in movies including The Client, Apt Pupil, and Ghost World.

R.I.P. Brad.

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Seriously, are these men?

So Rock of Love 2 premiered last night on VH1, aw shit, hang on........

BREAKING NEWS!! Britney made it to court!!


So Rock of Love 2 premiered last night on VH1 and I'm seriously wondering if jilted Heather had a hand in selecting some of this year's, uh, girls.

I know that last one is turning you all on most of all. Um, her name is Angelique, but the other contestants call him--I mean her, "Frenchie" because she is from France, or at least most parts of her are.

One awesome part from last night's show was when Daisy (second to last) was commenting on how awful Frenchie's plastic surgery was!! Eat your hearts out striking writers!! You can't make this shit up!

Another highlight was when one of the first to be booted girls said "I wonder if Nikki Sixx is single," as she walked off VH1 (but not out of our hearts).

If you aren't watching, you really need to be.

Britney - LIVE TEAM COVERAGE

So Britney didn't show up for court today. How is this any different from any other day? The hearing is going on without her and everyone's in a tizzy wondering if she'll grace the court with her presence.

What I'm shocked about is that CNN actually has a blog that they are updating minute-by-minute with all the details. You can check it out here. I didn't say TMZ, I said CNN!

I sure hope this custody battle is settled by the election!! Not that who wins is anywhere near as important as whether Brit is in court or at a gas station.

Land, water - these two just go together

Pam Anderson took some time out from her split with Rick Salomon and non-pregnancy (or is it? TMZ thinks she definitely IS) to hang out with her kids and Tommy.

These two are perfect for each other and nobody else. They really just need to get back together already.

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In related news, Pam has spoken out for the first time on her split from Rick, saying "I wish him the best. It's a can of worms. Big, fat juicy worms, but worms."

Hmm, big, fat, juicy worms on the brain huh? Maybe a Pam-Tommy reconciliation isn't so far-fetched.

Pam also shot down the pregnancy rumors, though not adding much more to the original response on her blog last week, saying simply "No more kids. No more kids."

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Weekend fun with Britney!

In non-baby (let's all bow our heads and pray it stays that way in this case) Britney news, it seems she's still with that Osama-looking paparazzi-dude that may or may not be selling pictures of her.

First the two went out to a Mercedes dealership in Van Nuys, California. It hasn't been confirmed that Britney was shopping for a car for Adnan, but it was confirmed that Britney wore the same wedding gown (above) that she did from her wedding to K-Fed. Who says you can't wear your wedding gown more than once? That Britney is so resourceful!

The following day, the two shopped until they dropped at Rite Aid, a Designer Shoe Warehouse, See's Candies, and Macy's, where an employee accidentally bumped into Britney. Britney's response? "Fuck you bitch!" You tell her Brit! The nerve!

Later when photographers started snapping pictures, Britney blew up again, “I'm fucking over it!" Get out of my godamn face!”

"Until I'm out driving later with my pink wig.. I'll meet you later at the gas station"


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Babies!! Babies!! Babies!!

Ok, so in the few days I haven't updated this site, the world has been repopulated with celebrity babies. Here's who popped:

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden welcomed a baby girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden. Harlow (remember that VH1 show Bands on the Run?) was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed in at 6 lbs. 7 oz. I'm not even going to make a joke about how that's half of Nicole's body weight, I'm truly happy for them!
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Perhaps someday Harlow Winter can date Max Liron Bratman, Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman's son that was born on Saturday at 10:05 p.m.

A rep told PEOPLE, "He is a beautiful, healthy baby boy! Mom is resting and doing well!"


Did anybody even know that Courtney Thorne-Smith was pregnant? Yup! She gave birth last Friday at Cedars-Sinai--the same day and hospital that Nicole did.

Courtney and her media-consultant husband Roger Fishman had their first child, a boy they named Jacob Emerson Fishman.

"The parents are thrilled, and the baby is healthy, well and beautiful," publicist Karen Samfilippo said.

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Who was that last one?? I forgot.

Comedian David Alan Grier and his wife, Christine Y. Kim, also had a baby Friday at Cedars Sinai.

David told Usmagazine.com, “Yes, it’s a girl! We’re very happy.”


Ok, are we done yet? Can Hollywood maybe just go on the Pill for awhile??