Wednesday, September 5, 2007

What? Is there a tape yet?

TMZ posted this picture of Pam Anderson and the caption read 'Pam, 40, frolicked in the surf while alleged new boy toy Rick Salomon (of Paris Hilton sex tape fame) rode a boogie board.'

I'm out of the loop here but that's a near-perfect couple if I ever heard one. Of course completely-perfect would be if Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse hooked up.


Whassa Goin' On Here? (sorry, Rock of Love marathon over the weekend. Has anyone noticed Bret says that all the time? Who the hell is he, Jar Jar Binks?)

Anyway, Demi Moore looks like Mischa Barton's daughter in this picture. Weird.


I'm their bitch

I just have to take a minute out to pimp my boys Velvet Revolver. In today's shit-filled "music" indu$try they are one of the few true rock bands and one of the even fewer with actual talent.

This is their latest single "The Last Fight" and it is the greatest song to come out this year and that's a fact because I said so.

The video's kind of an artsy anti-war statement (I think) with a naked chick thrown in for good measure, but look at how awesome Slash is. I mean really. Just look. There is no awesomer. And Scott's so good, he doesn't even have to press down on the piano keys!

Seriously, for all those who think fucking Fall Out Boy is rock n roll, educate yourselves.

Watch out Shiloh, you've got competition as the hottest baby

Halle Berry confirmed today that she is pregnant!! The father is her boyfriend Gabriel Aubry, who Halle met while shooting a Versace ad in 2005.

Halle told Access Hollywood:
"Yes, I am three months pregnant. Gabriel and I are beyond excited and I've waited a long time for this moment in my life."

Congrats to the parents-to-be. Just please don't go all Gwyneth on us and name the kid Straw, Rasp, Blue, or Bosen.


Jude Not Above the Law (sorry, that was horrible)

Jude Law was arrested yesterday for trying to grab a photographer's camera outside his home in London. He was released on bail later that day.

A rep for Jude released the following statement today:

"I can confirm that Jude Law voluntarily attended Marylebone Police Station yesterday following an alleged incident outside his house earlier in the day. Mr. Law provided the police with a statement regarding his denials of allegations by a 'paparazzi' photographer against him and made his own allegations concerning the photographer. Jude has the utmost respect for the police and whilst this is an ongoing matter no further comment will be made."

attended the police station? "Whilst this is an ongoing matter..?" I don't think I've ever heard getting arrested sound so classy and civilized. I want to beat up a photographer and attend a police station too! Then I want to have some tea and perhaps a shag!


Egotistical Douche of the Week

I wish I saw this item before I crowned Whoopi Asshat of the Week because they could have shared the honor. Unfortunately, I already mailed out Whoopi's asshat award (it's a hat made out of toilet paper, sometimes used--it depends on the level of asshatness) So in Jaimie Foxx's honor (who btw, also defended Michael Vick) I created a new award: The Egotistical Douche of the Week Award.

So what did the always humble Jamie Foxx do to deserve this honor? Well, according to reports, he pissed off journalists and hotel guests at L.A.'s Four Season's Hotel last week, while promoting his new movie The Kingdom, by insisting on traveling alone in the hotel's elevators and even going as far as to have his bodyguard kick other people out! Shame on you Jamie!! Your dead grandmother taught you better than that!

A source told Page Six, "He told guests of the hotel and journalists to leave the elevator. Then, at every floor where the elevator stopped, the bodyguard would stand with his arm stretched out and say, 'You can't enter' to anyone who tried to get in. A lot of us were like, 'Who does Jamie think he is?'" He's an Best Actor Academy Award winner, haven't you heard?

Jamie's spokesperson issued a response:"There were four to five people in the elevator with Foxx at the time and rushing to get to interviews to promote his film." Yeah, his bodyguards!

Congrats Jaime, your award is in the mail and you should be receiving it in 3-5 business days. (it's similar to the Asshat Award, but with a....well you know. This action was pretty douchey, so it's pretty well used.)


Asshat of the Week

Yesterday was Whoopi Goldberg's first day as a co-host of the View. As difficult as it may sound, Whoopi managed to one-up Rosie O'Donnell's asshatidry by not only defending animal lover Michael Vick, but insulting the intelligence of Southerners by saying that dogfighting isn't unusual "from where he comes from" meaning: the South. Whoopi continued: "It's like cockfighting in Puerto Rico. There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country."

Is she as ignorant as she seems to think those them people from the South are or is this a ratings gimmick. You decide by seeing how it went down here (go 1:40 into it)

By the way, Whoopi is from New York City so in case you were doubting her expertise on all things Southern, oh, excuse me,
Deep Southern, she doesn't really have any.

So anyway, Congrats Whoopi. First day on The View, making news headlines since 1985, and Asshat of the Week all in 48 hours!


Tuesday, September 4, 2007

What's in the bag Lindsay?

Here's Lindsay on her way out of a Rite-Aid in Utah on another little field trip from rehab. Yup, she left drug rehab to buy some drugs. But she's a star so she can.

I bet $50 there's NyQuil, cigarettes, and condoms (for her bathroom breaks) in there.


Katie Lee Joel is not white enough for P.Diddy

P. Diddy told Katie Lee Joel (Ex host of Top Chef and Billy's child bride or ex-child bride. Are they split?) to pack her cream colored dress and go at his annual Labor Day White Party this past Saturday. Katie did not follow the rules and wore an off-white dress which is a big no-no. When told she had to change or leave, Katie decided had enough of the stupididdy and opted to go home.

A rep for Diddy said: “People who arrived in non-white or off-white clothes were given the option to change. Ms. Joel showed up in beige or cream and she opted to go home.”

I think what really happened was, they saw Katie and said "Who invited her?" and used it as excuse. But anyway, go Katie!


Heath and Michelle - SPLIT

Every now and then there is a Hollywood couple split that makes me sad: Jen and Brad, Rachel and Ryan, Bennifer (admit it, they are both boring now!)

So here we go again - US Weekly has confirmed that Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams are kaput.

A source revealed to the magazine that Heath and Michelle "quietly and amicably split a few weeks ago," and that "the relationship had been rocky recently. They tried very hard to make it work but finally decided to separate. They just grew apart."

I blame whichever one chose the name Mathilda for their daughter.

Britney is sniffing Spiderman because:

A) She is getting ideas for a new fragrance

B) She wants the photogs to see the diamond ring on her left ring finger

C) Duh, there's coke on it y'all!

D) What's with the Madonna circa 1984 mole?


Jon Gives Brits a Bad Name (I know that makes no sense ok?)

Jon Bon Jovi didn't seem to having such a nice day when during a recent interview for Glamour magazine he went off on, well pretty much every English celebrity.

On Robbie Williams: "Robbie Williams? That guy couldn't even fill a bar. He couldn't sell 500 tickets."

On Oasis (are they even still around?): "Oasis couldn't fill a bar either – and they're full of themselves."

On Pete Doherty: "We're not familiar with Pete Doherty in the US other than his antics and the fact that he's always in trouble – I've never heard a single one of his songs."

On David Beckham: [He is]"past his prime".

Although he maybe should have bit his tongue on the "past his prime" comment (glass houses...), I have to admit, he's right about most of them.

I suggest Jon and David settle this with a good old fashioned duel to determine who is more past their prime. In a mud pit. In my backyard.