Friday, September 21, 2007
Now those horny Bradys are at it again.
It has been revealed that Maureen McCormick's upcoming autobiography contains a bombshell that she and Eve Plumb (Jan) once had a lesbian fling. According to the book, Maureen started to develop feelings that Eve was one groovy chick who was a happening in a far-out way.
A source said: “The most explosive comments will be how the then blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play. This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes.”
Oh those Bradys and thier sexual hijinks! Well, we know Mom always said "don't play ball in the house." She never did say anything about munchin' on the carpet. I bet they got it on in a potato sack.
In all seriousness though, hey Bradys please stop revealing all your kinky, incestious, exploits! I know you all weren't really related, but to America, you were. Face it! The Brady Bunch is an institution and this kind of stuff ruins cheapens it for everybody! I don't care if you're all broke and have to do VH1 reality shows. I swear, if I hear that Sam the Butcher molested Cousin Oliver I'm gonna have to off myself!
UPDATE: The publisher is now denying this rumor.
Kid and Tommy are so yesterday. Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols has called out Sting, or rather "Stink," as he likes to call him.
Johnny recently said of the long-awaited Police reunion tour, "That really is a reformation isn't it? But honestly that's like soggy old dead carcasses. You know listening to Stink trying to squeak through 'Roxanne' one more time that's not fun."
In related news, the Sex Pistols have announced plans for a reunion concert.
Personally I think these two should make up and form a band called the Tantric Sex Pissedoldmen. Ba-dum- crash!! I'm here all week folks!
(Ok, stop the tomatoes! I think I'm gonna quit for the day. Or maybe I'll apply to TMZ.)
Sharon Osbourne says Ozzy is a sex maniac and keeps going and going and.........
"He's like a rabbit, he's terrible. Every song gets him in the mood for love. He's just like that battery-powered bunny. Instead of that little rabbit they should have Ozzy's willy banging a drum."
Well, he does shake alot.
Sharon doesn't stop there. She also wants everyone to know that Ozzy is hung. "My husband takes a size 14 shoe and has massive hands. He doesn't need any help in that department."
Sharon then continued on, this time praising her breast implants. "We've been married nearly 25 years. The best thing I ever did was getting my bust implants. He loves them. He is like a newborn baby."
I know what everybody's thinking. WHEN'S THE SEX TAPE?
Jenny McCarthy is shooting down marriage questions about wedding her boyfriend of two years, Jim Carrey, insisting that one marriage was enough for her and that she plans to remain singled out (that was horrible, sorry).
She's taking the Brangelina route by saying that they don't need no stinking piece of paper because their love is "too deep" for marriage: "There will be no certificate. It goes far deeper than that. Jim came into our life with an open heart and open arms." (Cue the Journey)
Just in case you're wondering, that crusty dude is Jim Carrey. Lookin fine, ain't he?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Have you seen this yet?
Check out this video of the OJ Press Conference. The guy on the right in the "OJ 07" shirt and baseball cap is named Jake Byrd and you may know him from the Jimmy Kimmel show. Here he's posing as OJ's biggest fan.
I love people with balls.
In the past, punk phenomenon, Avril Lavigne has called out Britney Spears for "dressing like a showgirl," "dancing like a hoe," and not being able to deal with the pressures of fame.
But that was before Tuesday night when the two met up at Hyde. (By the way, as I'm sure you heard, Britney was ordered to submit to random drug and alcohol tests are part of her ongoing custody battle with K-Fed so naturally, she's paying no attention.) Brit and Av then rode together to Winston's, another club. Later that night Britney went to the Beverly Hills Police Station and asked officers for an escort home.
Give it up Avril, Britney is way too punk rock for your ass.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
So this morning I'm in the car driving to work and guess who I hear on the local morning show?
There's no escaping Chris Crocker. He is now a part of pop-culture history. We'll be seeing his "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" clip on VH1's "I Really Didn't Love the 00's Much" in twenty years.
It's sort of touching. Before last week, Chris was just a misunderstood 19-year old living in his grandmother's basement. But now he's America's newest sweetheart (suck it Hayden Panettwhatever- you blew it with that ugly Emmy dress)! He accomplished the new American Dream: to get fifteen minutes of fame as an internet celebrity!
So you go girl! By the way, you have about five seconds left.
Don't cry though, there's always Dancing With the Stars! You've already got an edge there--you'll look the best in sequins!
So here's Chris's latest rant taking on Fox News.
UPDATE: Hey, that didn't take long. Chris got his very own reality show.
"Everybody knows this is stolen stuff. Not only wasn't there a break-in, but Thomas Riccio (the auction house owner) escorted us up to the room. In any event, it's stolen stuff that's mine. Nobody was roughed up. I'm O.J. Simpson. How am I going to rob somebody and get away with it?"
Let's hope this time, you don't.
In Touch Weekly is reporting that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant!!
An insider claims that J-Lo and Marc learned of the pregnancy after visiting fertility specialist Dr. Robert Katz and receiving the results of an ultrasound performed on September 12th. The test calculated that she was about 12 weeks pregnant.
The source also said that the couple has been trying to get pregnant for the past two years, and eventually turned to in vitro fertilization.
But wait, there's more! In Touch also reports that it could be twins! "The way the fetus is lying made it difficult for the doctor to tell if there was more than one baby in there" a "pal" added.
Now please don't take this as fact. I did some extensive research via Google, and found this . (check the date) Seems In Touch really, really, really wants a baby J-Lo.
I do hope it is true though. Jen has wanted a baby for a very long time. Plus, judging by this composite, look how adorable the little bundle of alegría will be!:
Saint Angelina recently told Britain's Cosmopolitian magazine that she has only slept with four men.
On being a slut: "It was never true. I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them!"
For those counting that would be Brad Pitt, Billy-Bob Thornton, Johnny Lee Miller and one other person.
Then again, maybe she's not lying, she never said she only had sex with four men.