Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Simple Crackhead Life

Nicole Richie wants to make it clear that while she was a drug addict, she has never been under a bridge (though Anthony Kiedis has claimed to have spotted her there once) and she never, ever went without footwear.

In a recent interview for Nylon magazine Nic said,
"When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes."

Uh, yeah, that's because your father is Lionel Richie moron! Maybe if he didn't adopt you, you would have ended up under a bridge and not having any Christian Louboutins to protect your feet! Speaking of being a moron, crack and heroin are two different drugs. Care to educate her Whitney?


Thanks Whit!

Dumb Lawsuit of the Day

Remember that flop of a show called Armed & Famous where C-list stars underwent police training and rode along with cops on actual calls?

Me neither. Anyway Jack Osbourne has been named in a recent lawsuit filed by a woman in Indiana whose home was raided by mistake during a pursuit of a fugitive by the police unit (Jack included) and camera crew during a taping of the show back in January. The woman, named Lyndsay Clements, claims she was embarrased when footage of her handcuffed in her nightgown was aired. She is demanding 1 million dollars in the lawsuit.

I'm perplexed by this. Don't you have to sign a release to be shown on TV? Did they actually show her face or did they blur it like on Cops? Because if her face was blurred, no one would know who she was. Actually, even if her face wasn't blurred, no one would know because I'm pretty sure nobody actually watched that show. Of course, now everyone will know who she is. So yeah,way to go,
Lyndsay Clements!


Lets play What the Fuck is on Mary Kate Olsen's legs?

Still a little shelf life left in those spices

Hey Ginger, Nicole Kidman called. She wants her Far and Away look back!

YESSS, dreams do come true!! The Spice Girls are reuniting!!! Zig-a-zig-ahh!

The group will release a greatest-hits album which will consist of "Wannabe" repeated ten times and starting in December, will lip-sync together on an 11-date world tour in December with shows in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York City, London, Cologne, Madrid, Beijing, Hong Kong, Sydney, Capetown and Buenos Aires.

"We are celebrating the past!" said Geri "Ginger" Halliwell.

"No shit!" said me.

Baby Spice Emma Bunton said"I want to be a Spice Girl again. We are like sisters and we have our arguments, but by the end of the day we get back together." Doesn't she mean decade?

Sporty Spice, Mel C called the tour " a proper good farewell to our fans." Who knew the fans have been waiting ten years for a farewell? On being the last Spice Girl to agree to the reunion, she said"A girl is allowed to change her mind. We only started serious discussions this year. We feel the time is right. I'm very, very excited." Doesn't she mean very, very broke?

Girl Power!!!


The only part of the Larry King Paris Hilton interview worth watching!

Busted!! Dumbass couldn't even think to say John 3:16.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Stock on on your Valtrex boys, Paris is Free!

It seems weird to follow the Chris Benoit story with something as trivial as Paris Hilton being released from prison, but it's everywhere so it must be done. She was released just after midnight this morning. So now she's off to make the world a better place, worship the lord, and build halfway homes for female inmates.


Oh and in case you haven't heard, she'll be on Larry King tomorrow night!

TMZ posted the following illustrated Thank You card Paris made for Harvey Levin (managing editor of TMZ) Yeah, it's for real:

Actress, singer, humanitarian, philanthropist, author, and now artist. Is there anything this remarkable young woman cannot do.? She certainly is special.

Still in shock: Chris Benoit and family dead

So last night I put on my sweats, poured a Mojito, and settled in for a 3 hour long Raw which was supposed to be a "Tribute to Mr. McMahon, " going along with the whole fake murder storyline from a couple weeks ago. There were to be touching speeches by the wrestlers, retrospective clips, and even an investigation.

How creepy that wrestling fans got exactly that, but instead of an over-the-top, scripted tribute, we got a real one, for Chris Benoit.

The bodies of Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their young song Daniel were discovered by Fayette County sheriffs at their Atlanta home yesterday around 4PM. The police were asked to do a "wellness" check on Benoit after he cancelled several appointments, including an appearance at Sunday night's Vengeance Pay-Per-View where we was to win the ECW Championship, due to "family issues." He reportedly sent out "curious text messages" early Sunday morning which prompted friends to alert Richard Hering, VP of Government Relations for WWE, Inc.

The cause of the deaths were not immediately released. Last night's live Monday Night RAW event was cancelled and instead the WWE aired some of Benoit's greatest matches (including one from WCW in 1994 where Nancy, a valet character known as "Woman, " cheered him on from beside the ring) and clips of other wrestlers crying and telling of what a great, respectful, and devoted man Benoit was. They cried, fans cried, it lasted the entire three hours. The last match they showed was Chris's win of the Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 20. He celebrated in the ring with his best friend, Eddie Guerrero (who died at age 38 in 2005 of heart failure).

Then it came out that the deaths were being investigated a double murder-suicide with Benoit being the killer. HUH? This guy, that not one person ever had anything bad to say about, that was devoted to wrestling for over 20 years, and taught his kids to always be respectful and polite (he even made his son wear a suit and tie whenever his family would visit him at a show) just snapped and strangled (cause of death was not officially released, but that is what they are saying) his wife and child?? I don't get it.

There is a conflicting rumor that his wife killed the son and he killed her in a rage after discovering what she'd done and then hung himself.

It is all speculation at this point, until the police release a full report to the public (apparently the WWE has further information but was asked by the Fayette County Sheriff’s Department not to release it), we can only wonder what could have caused this horrible tragedy.

' Officials have confirmed the horrifying details in the deaths of wrestling superstar Chris Benoit and his family/

In a statement by a member of the Fayetteville Sheriff's Department, "Mr, Benoit had sometime, possibly Friday, murdered his wife by asphyxiation. Sometime shortly after that, the same for his son Daniel and sometime later ... committed suicide by hanging himself in the basement area."

According to officials, Nancy was bound at the wrists and feet, with a towel wrapped around her body, and blood was found underneath her head. A Bible was also reportedly found near each one of the bodies.

Police have also confirmed that prescription drugs and steroids were found in the house.

Benoit was found hanging in a weight room in his house. Cops say that he used a cord from one of his workout machines as a makeshift noose. Authorities also believe that Benoit died on Saturday. '

I'm literally sick to my stomach. I'm also sick that I spent three hours yesterday being sad and crying over what a great guy he was. Crazy fuck! Unbelievable.

Monday, June 25, 2007

What the Asshats Are Up To

'Mr. Murphy, are you my daddy?"

"Hey Suri, pull my finger!"

"One, two, three---wait a minute. Zahara?"

Charlie's Angels 3: Full Throttle To Video

"Here's your dry cleaning, can I be of any further assistance?"

"No, I wasn't just working on the bike...why do you ask bloke?"