Thursday, June 19, 2008

Maddie "Whoops!" Spears is here!

Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth this morning at 9:30 am to a daughter that she and fiancé Casey Aldridge named Maddie Briann.

A source told PEOPLE, "Just the family was there. Everyone is healthy and happy."

That family includes Britney, who flew in yesterday to be with her sister.

Baby and baby are doing fine.

Chinese Democracy Starts NOW!! .................Again

Axl must be bored again since basketball season is over. So three new songs from (Axl's) Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy have been leaked.


"Rhiad and the Bedouins"

"This I Love":

"If the World":

Can I get one too?

Here's some people that will be receiving their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame next year: Hugh Jackman, Ben Kingsley, The Village People, Tinkerbell, Felicity Huffman, William H. Macy, Cameron Diaz, Robert Downey Jr., Tim Burton, Leslie Caron, Charles Durning, Ralph Fiennes, Samantha Fox, William Petersen, Kyra Sedgwick, John Stamos, Kimmy Gibbler, Mark Burnett, Chuck Lorre, Kenny "Baby Face" Edmonds, Ace of Base, Dave Koz, The Miracles, Tito Jackson, Doug Morris, Rush, Shakira, Pauly Shore, KFI radio personality Bill Handel and KCRW host Harry Shearer, who also provides voices for characters on "The Simpsons."

Seriously, is this part of the Economic Stimulus program? Do celebrities get stars on the Walk of Fame instead of checks from the government? And because they're married, do William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman get one star or two?

(Yeah some of those I made up, try to figure out which ones! It's harder than you think!)


Saint Angelina loves horsies

Like, she really, really loves them.

The horse looks bored.



So there's this guy Andrew from a band called Creaky Boards who claims Coldplay's song "Viva La Vida" (that annoying one in the ITunes commercial that you think is U2 at first) is a ripoff of a song that he wrote. He even says the Coldplay lead douche Chris Martin went to one of his band's shows. What makes it even funnier is that the name of Andrew's song is "The Songs I Didn't Write." Judge for yourself. Here's the full version of Coldplay's song. Both songs suck ass in my opinion.

But both Coldplay and Andrew ripped off this awesome guy:

In related news, Ricky Martin has not commented on whether or not he too would like to sue Coldplay.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Shoot me now!

The New Kids on the Block have a new video. I can't believe I just typed that. So now you can see them lip sync awful lyrics like
"With your flip flops, half shirt, short shorts, mini skirt" with synchronized dance moves while wearing all white. Didn't the Backstreet Boys do this ten years ago. Wait, didn't the New Kids on the Block do this twenty years ago? Yeah, it's really, really pathetic. I keep looking for Heidi Montag in the beach scenes and sadly, she's not there.

On the other hand, sometimes attempting to recapture your glory days works awesomely:

No Emmy until Lindsay says so

Earlier this week, Queen Bitch of the World, Katherine Heigl pulled herself out of consideration for an Emmy for her role on
Grey's Anatomy, because, well, she's a bitch.

Now Lindsay Lohan is following suit, and taking herself out of the Emmy race for her ground-breaking and award-worthy 45 second guest spot on
Ugly Betty. (in case you missed it, the clip is above. Brace yourself though, it's THAT good.) Lindsay reportedly doesn't want to jinx her chances for winning an Emmy next year for one of the five episodes she'll appear in.


America's Got Talent?

Last night was the premiere of America's Got Talent a.k.a. I'm Not Talented Enough To Get On American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance.

Here's the highlights?:

What's scary is this guy looks more like Britney Spears than Britney does.

Ok, so cute it's nauseating. I seriously barfed up some rainbow puppies after watching this and it tasted sugary and delicious coming up.

The one act that actually had talent.


Some thieves rob banks. Some rob convenience stores. Steve Tryon, 18, from Terre Haute, Indiana robbed a lemonade stand.

Well, he tried to anyway. After Steve got his $17.50 pay day, the young girl running the stand chased after him!

She chased Steve into a nearby home and called police. It soon turned into a lemonade standoff situation when police tried to get Steve to come out and surrender. He eventually did after 45 minutes and was arrested on a preliminary felony robbery charge (no breaking and entering?? He ran into somebody's house!). He was put in jail and must appear in court on Tuesday.

Oh Steve. Don't you know you have to have a getaway vehicle? Like a dirt bike or at least a skateboard. This is why you'll never graduate to robbing tag sales. Dumbass!



Jessica Simpson was recently photographed wearing a t-shirt with the message "REAL GIRLS EAT MEAT." It is rumored to be a dig at her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and vegetarian, Carrie Underwood. PETA's pissed of course.

Don't worry Carrie. As a fellow vegetarian, I've got your back. I designed some message t-shirts for you to wear.

Monday, June 16, 2008

"It was photoshopped!!" in 3...2...1

TMZ just loves to get those pictures of Mischa Barton's cellulite. Here's a new one!

She should just embrace the cottage cheese, it's the only thing keeping her in the semi-spotlight these days. Maybe she can even get an endorsement deal with Hood.

Shocking!! Amy Winehouse faints!!

Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after fainting in her London home earlier today. She reportedly fainted after she went outside to sign autographs for fans that were waiting outside her home and discovered they were gone.

Her spokesperson told PEOPLE that Amy "quickly recovered" and needed her manager's assistant "to stop her falling" in her home. He said,
"She's fine. It was a brief thing and they took her in as a precaution. Her Dad drove her to a private hospital, but they're unsure what caused it so aren't taking any chances."

Doctors do not know what caused Amy's fainting spell.

It's a medical mystery!!! What could have caused a healthy young woman like Amy to pass out? Somebody get Dr. House on a plane to London!!!!

Kanye West thinks he's Axl Rose

Fans booed and threw glow sticks at Kanye West during his performance at the Bonnaroo Festival in Manchester, Tennessee, after he went on two hours after he was scheduled to take the stage.

Kanye was supposed to go on at 2:45am. (2:45 AM???) but a message appeared on the jumbotrons letting the audience know that Kayne wouldn't be on until 3:15 a.m. Then at 3:15 a.m. another message appeared saying he'd go on at 3:30 a.m. He finally went on at 4:25 a.m.

What I'd like to know is who the hell is even still awake at 4:25 a.m.? Especially if there were acts all day earlier.

The delay was reportedly caused by problems setting up Kanye's ridiculous spaceship stage. Where's Scotty when you need him?

A spokesman for the annual festival said Kanye wasn't entirely to blame since Pearl Jam (who went on before Kanye) went an hour past their scheduled end time which delayed setting up Kanye's stage. Great, now Kanye has someone else to blame. Thanks spokesperson!

Kanye was originally supposed to play at 8:15 p.m. but wanted to change for a late night performance. Well he got that for sure.


RIP Tim Russert