Friday, December 15, 2006

Just a Little Bullshit...Yeah, yeah, Some More Bullshit, Yeahhhhh

An open letter from Axl Rose
An open letter to our fans:

Guns N’ Roses regrets to announce that the following concert tour dates have been canceled:

January 10: Sacramento
January 11: Bakersfield
January 13: Reno
January 16: San Diego

Because of the scheduling of these particular shows, valuable time needed by the band and record company for the proper setup and release of the album Chinese Democracy would have been lost. Rather than delay the album yet again, all involved have decided to remove these shows from GN’R’s schedule. We hope our fans understand and we apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused. Tickets may be refunded at point of purchase.

To say the making of this album has been an unbearably long and incomprehensible journey would be an understatement. Overcoming the endless and seemingly insane amount of obstacles faced by all involved, notwithstanding the emotional challenges endured by everyone -- the fans, the band, our road crew and business team -- has at many times seemed like a bad dream in which one wakes up only to find that they are still in the nightmare. Unfortunately, this time it has been played out for over a decade in real life.

The true, ongoing, behind-the-scenes triumphs and casualties are much more complicated than any negative speculation that the media or otherwise has managed to hit upon. For much of the time, various legal issues have arisen, demanding that the best way to deal with these things publicly, quite frankly, was to keep our mouths shut in an attempt to ensure the best outcome -- especially one that wouldn’t jeopardize the band or the album. It’s easy for people to point out how others have handled similar situations or how they would have dealt with these issues themselves if they encountered them in their own lives. But again, without full knowledge of the various dynamics and circumstances involved, these types of comments or commentary are just uninformed, disassociated, generally useless -- and often hindering -- speculation.

When I agreed to do our recent North American tour, I did it with the understanding that my manager, Merck Mercuriadis, and I were in full agreement regarding our strategy and touring plans and, most important, that any and all things needed to release the album by Dec. 26 at the latest were in place. Unfortunately, it turned out that this was not the case, and I regret to say that the album will not be released by the end of the year. Although many things went extremely well and were very exciting, there were, in our opinion, unnecessary and avoidable complications on our tour having to do with the tour routing, scheduling and album and video plans that wreaked havoc on all involved. This was compounded by an overall sense of a lack of respect by management for the band and crew and each individual's particular expertise that has resulted, unfortunately, in the end of both Guns’ and my managerial involvement with Merck Mercuriadis.

In regard to a release date for the album itself, certain minor –- and I do mean minor -- additions, as well as contract negotiations, need to be completed. Barring any unforeseen complications, these things have now been adequately scheduled. The band and I, along with our record company, feel that this record deserves the proper setup and promotion, not the “13 Tuesdays left” and “It may just appear in your record store” approach offered by management. We believe this strategy may have been used as a tool by management to sell this latest tour to the various promoters, and if this was the case, this was obviously unfair to them. The stress of dealing with this situation has been considerable for everyone, including the band, but more important, in our opinion, it was something utterly insane to do to our fans. You have our apologies, and please know we have been laboring over this with management for the entire North American tour.

It takes approximately eight weeks for an album to hit the shelves once it has been turned in to the record company. For whatever reasons, it appears that it may have been mistakenly inferred by management that this time period could be condensed to three weeks. With that being said, this is not a promise, a lie or a guarantee, but we do wish to announce a tentative release date of March 6. This is the first time we have done this publicly for this album. Others have made up all the other dates for their own reasons. We would like to assure the fans that everything in our power will be done to meet this date. Once it is finalized and official, you will be notified. If we are delayed for unseen reasons, you also will be notified as soon as possible in regard to a new date, and the album will be released as shortly thereafter as is possible. We thank you for your patience.

In the end, it’s just an album, but it’s one that I, the band, our record company and all involved believe and feel is a true Guns N’ Roses album. Ultimately the public will decide, and regardless of the outcome, our hearts, lives and our passion has been put into this project every step of the way. If for no other reason, we feel those elements alone merit your consideration. We do hope you can hold on just a bit longer, and if not, please take a break and we’ll be more than glad -- if you so choose -- to see you again later.

Once again, we offer our sincere apologies and our deepest thanks. Guns N’ Roses also would like to thank all the fans who attended the 70 concerts in 21 countries for their support in 2006. All the best to each and every one of you over this holiday season, thank you and God bless.


Axl Rose


Did anyone (besides me and other GN'R nutswingers) actually read that whole thing? If not, here's the abridged version:

An open letter to our fans:

I didn't feel like doing the rest of the shows on this tour and the dates conflicted with my basketball game watching schedule anyway, so we cancelled them. But it's not my fault. It's our management's fault. It's also the record stores' fault. It's the record company's, MTV's,
the President's, the private eyes's, the IRS's, the FBI's, Santa Claus's, God's, Stephanie Seymour's, Tidy Cat's, Tommy Hilfiger's and Gene Snitsky's fault too. But really, as our loyal fans does this shock you? Quit bitching, you know it comes with the territory. I'm sure you are quite familiar with the ticket refund process by now. But, just be clear, it wasn't my fault. I'm all about the fans.

Good news though, Chinese Democracy is gonna come out March 6th! However, notice I did not give a year. It could be 2007 (although, yeah. Probably not.) or it could be 2018. Half the fun is not knowing! But I may leak some more of the new songs on the internet, so keep your eye out.

Thanks to all the fans that came to the shows that we didn't cancel. God Bless.


Axl Rose

(Axl - I still love you and would gladly shit in a litterbox any day for you! XOXOXO)

Pam Speaks Out About Kid & Tommy + Asshat of the Week

Immediately after the split from her hubby Kid Rock, the rumor mill grinded into placing Pamela Anderson right back with ex husband Tommy Lee. There were photos of the couple together and Tommy reportedly even said he knew the split was coming. But on the Howard Stern radio show, Pam tries to silence the rumors saying it has been so long since she's slept with Tommy - that she can't even remember when it was.

She is also none too happy with reports that Kid Rock reportedly said she was out partying while he stayed home and player Mr. Mom with the kids. Us Weekly grabs a partial transcript of the buxom blonde's appearance on the show.

Howard Stern: “It was reported that you were deciding between Tommy and Kid. Is that true?”

Pam: “No, no, god no!”

HS: “Do you still bang Tommy, when was the last time you banged him?"

Pam: "No, no, it was a long time ago, I don't even remember. That wasn't it…I think I just got swept up and I wanted to have a family for my kids, but you remember really quickly when you get back together why you're not together."

HS: "You said you weren't going to get married again, what made you marry [Kid Rock]?"

Pam: "Well it was just a long time apart and the whole idea of having a family and knowing somebody and not having to introduce somebody new to my kids. It was a big mistake, but I was in St. Tropez, I would have married the fisherman on the corner! We just knew each other. We both wanted a family, we both have kids. But when we were together it just wasn't a good thing. We're just two very different people."

HS: "It was reported that he was really upset about your role in Borat, that he was screaming at you..."

Pam: "He was unhappy about that. I don't know why -- you'd have to ask him -- but he really was very unhappy about that."

HS: "I don't understand, if I was your boyfriend, I would have been so excited for you."

Pam: "Thank you, that's what I'm looking for. Someone who is excited about me. This just didn't work out that way."

HS: "Now he said, his camp said that part of the problem was that you were always out partying and drinking and he was at home babysit

Pam: "No, no, he's never been alone with my kids. That was horrible, I think that's what upsets me the most because I am home with my kids all the time, or my parents are here from Canada. I don't even have a nanny."


HS: "Are you happy you miscarried and didn't have Kid Rock's baby?"
Pam: "That's horrible, no. Everything happens for a reason and now we're all here and we're back to normal. It's like it never even happened."


I believe her about not being with Tommy lately. He's been pretty busy with Lukass the troll:

Nick Burns Jessica

The National Ledger reports that Nick Lachey poured his heart out to his ex-wife about his new love, Vanessa Minnillo, and a source tells the magazine he confessed he was headed for the altar. "I'm getting married again, Jess and I wanted you to hear it from me," the magazine reports Lachey as telling Jessica during a 40-minute phone call. According to the report he claimed that there is a good chance they will be married by the end of the year.

The news came a shock to Simpson. "She knew Nick and Vanessa were serious, but this threw her for a loop," a friend of Jessica's dished to the magazine. "She did her best to contain her emotions."

Jessica is now considering calling Paris Hilton and asking her if she wants to hang out.

Rosie's Asshat Apology

NEW YORK (AP) -- Rosie O'Donnell says she's sorry for mocking spoken Chinese on "The View," but an association that represents journalists from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds, including Chinese American, says it wasn't enough. In a December 5 segment, O'Donnell joked about how Danny DeVito's recent -- and seemingly drunken -- appearance on the ABC daytime talk show had become international news. "You know, you can imagine in China it's like 'ching chong, ching chong chong, Danny DeVito, ching chong chong chong, drunk, "The View," ching chong,' " the 44-year-old comedian said. (Watch O'Donnell utter the words Video) On Thursday's show, she told the audience: "To say ching chong to someone is very offensive, and some Asian people have told me it's as bad as the n-word. Which I was like, 'Really? I didn't know that.' " Karen Lincoln Michel, president-elect of Unity: Journalists of Color Inc., said O'Donnell's remarks "really didn't sound like an apology to me." Lincoln Michel said Unity was waiting for Barbara Walters, who created the show, to respond to a letter asking her to publicly acknowledge that O'Donnell's remarks were "patently offensive." "I think by allowing Rosie O'Donnell's cheap jabs at Chinese Americans to go unchecked, then the network is essentially condoning racial and ethnic slurs," Lincoln Michel told the AP in a phone interview. Unity said it represents more than 10,000 journalists nationwide. "You know it was never (my) intent to mock," O'Donnell said on Thursday's show, "and I'm sorry for those people who felt hurt or were teased on the playground." "But I'm also gonna give you a fair warning that there's a good chance I'll do something like that again, probably in the next week -- not on purpose. Only 'cause it's how my brain works." O'Donnell characterized her accent as "Chinese, Asian, pseudo-Japanese, sounded a little Yiddish ..."

Rosie then continued, "I love egg foo rong, Jackie Chan, dry cleaners, nail salons, Mr. Miyagi, and lot of other Oriental things." (ok, she really didn't)

Asinine Paris Quote Retraction


Paris Hilton is the latest Hollywood "star" to incur the wrath of MySpace impersonators.

News reports from several "reputable" sources have been reporting that Paris Hilton was using her MySpace blog to defend Britney Spears. In the fake blog, the "heiress" states that Brit is a great mom who is always there for her children, and that Britney's partying is just the normal behavior for a 25-year-old.

While these are thoughts that could possibly be in Hilton's head, only Miss Hilton knows for sure. TMZ contacted Paris' rep, Elliot Mintz, who revealed that "Paris did not write it. She does not have a MySpace account."

Now that I think about this it makes sense --she's way too stupid to be able to operate a computer.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

RIP SParis 2006-2006


December 14, 2006 -- THE friendship between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton was short, sweet and photogenic. But now, it seems, it's over. A source close to Spears explains why the pop tart, who lost her undies last week, has not been seen with her "new best friend" Hilton since she posted an apology to her fans on her Web site, noting, "Thank God for Victoria's Secret underwear!" The source said, "Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult."

Don't be sad for too long. Judging by Brit's taste in men/friends, I'm sure she'll be hanging out with Tara Reid in no time.

Golden Globe Nominees Announced

The Departed
Little Children
The Queen

Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Will Smith, Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, Last King of Scotland

Flags of our Fathers, Clint Eastwood
Letters of Iwo Jima, Clint Eastwood
The Queen, Stephen Frears
Babel, Alejandro G. Inarritu
The Departed, Martin Scorsese

Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
Johnny Depp, Pirates
Aaron Eckhart, Thank You for Smoking
Will Ferrel, Stranger
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kinky Boots

The Devil Wears Prada
Little Miss Sunshine
Thank You For Smoking

Penelope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Kate Winslet, Little Children

Annette Bening, Running with Scissors
Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine
Beyonce Knowles, Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Renee Zellweger, Miss Potter

Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson, The Departed
Brad Pitt, Babel
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

Letters from Iwo Jima
The Lives of Others
Pan's Labyrinth

Little Children
Notes on a Scandal
The Departed
The Queen

Happy Feet
Monster House

24 (FOX)

Patricia Arquette (MEDIUM)
Evangeline Lilly (LOST)
Ellen Pompeo (GREY’S ANATOMY)
Kyra Sedgwick (THE CLOSER)

Patrick Dempsey (GREY’S ANATOMY)
Michael C. Hall (DEXTER)
Hugh Laurie (HOUSE)
Bill Paxton (BIG LOVE)
Kiefer Sutherland (24)


America Ferrerra(UGLY BETTY)
Mary-Louise Parker (WEEDS)

Alec Baldwin (30 ROCK)
Zach Braff (SCRUBS)
Steve Carrell (THE OFFICE)
Tony Shalhoub (MONK)


Should be an interesting show this year. Go Borat (to see his acceptance speech) and J-Hud (to see Beyonce's face) !

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Asinine Paris Quote of the Day

Defending Britney on her MySpace page:

"For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling"

"Britney loves her kids to death, and I know for a fact that it truly hurts her when she sees these cruel things being written about her. She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting."

Well, she's right about Britney loving her kids to death. That's what we're afraid of!

Congrats Lindsay!!!

Lindsay says she's been sober for a whole week!

She told People Magazine on Monday:

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I'm not even legal to, so why would I?"

" I've been going to AA for a year, by the way," [but had only acknowledged her attendance recently because] "it's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous!"

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Random (not so) Deep Thought

So I'm a huge pro-wrestlin----I mean
sports entertainment fan (girls listen to me: Melrose Place on 'roids. Half-naked dudes! Whatever, your loss.) and everytime the WWE is in town, I'm there, such was the case last night at Monday Night Raw. I love the atmosphere--everyone's into it, unlike in regular life. I've decided that there are a lot of closet fans (you know, similiar to how Nickelback sells millions of albums but no one admits to buying them). It's like a cool club, ok it's like a club, and people are so into it. Young, old, men, women, kids, you really get a warm and fuzzy feeling (could be the beer though). They wear the tee-shirts, make signs, know the chants, etc. That's all fun and dandy. But I just can't for the life of me figure one thing out:

The grown men that walk around the arena carrying the replica belts.

If you've ever been to a WWE event you know what I'm talking about. If not, well there's an example above (sorry I couldn't find a better picture--I'll be sure to take one next time) Ok, kids in their John Cena spinner belts are one thing, but I'm referring to MEN, many over the age of 30! And there are a lot of them. And it's not like a goof thing. They are totally serious about it. They have to be. Those damn things are expensive! Look here I really don't get it and I wear the tee-shirts and make the signs too so I'm not some mature elitist wrestling fan (I realize that's an oxymoron). I guess it's kind of like collecting baseball cards or something---no, no actually it isn't, it's just bizarre. I mean boxing fans don't do that and boxing's real. ??????


Wait! Maybe that's it! Maybe it's a whole make-believe fantasy thing, like Dungeons and Dragons! Yes, I've thunk it out! It's all coming together! I'm going to write Yale about obtaining a grant to conduct a study to determine the number of males who play D&D and see if there is any correlation to the number of males of the same demographic that walk around arenas with their $400 replica WWE title belts! I'll let you know how that goes.

In related news, Edge's ass looked awesome.

Save Your Ass Tips of the Day (with Moxie Crimefighter)

Superhero Asshat Hollywood correspondant, Moxie CrimeFighter has sat through numerous hours of dangerous animal documentaries to keep your ass safe. So pay attention to her following tips:

-If you throw a firecracker into a herd of elephants they will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you punch a blue shark in the gills it will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you light a cigarette near a polar bear it will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you sit on the back of a crocodile and smack it across the snout it will get angry and try to kill you (T-Rex: New Science New Beast Discovery Channel)

-Reef sharks arch their back when they’re preparing to attack. If you see a reef shark with an arched back do not stop to take its photo. Especially with a flash. It will get angry and try to kill you. (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-A walrus can knock your head off your body and suck out your brains. Get too close to a walrus and it will get angry and try to kill you. (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-The Sea of Cortez is full of man-eating squid. They hunt in packs and each squid has 36,000 razor sharp teeth on its tentacles and a beak that can crush the head of a tuna. They’re smart too. A diver was latching himself in a safety cage when a squid rushed up, undid the latch and devoured the diver. OK I made that last part up. The squid tried to open the latch so he could devour the diver but was unsuccessful. (Killer Squid, Discovery Channel)

-The hippopotamus is responsible for more human deaths than any other animal in Africa. 99% of all hippo attacks are fatal. Hippo’s are badasses. When injured the hippo can heal itself lickety split as its skin secretes antibiotics. (Ultimate Hippo National Geo)

-Between the sharks and the orcas, swimming with seals in a really bad idea. (up Close and Dangerous)

-If you’re fleeing a swarm of Africanized bees it does no good to jump in water. They’ll just be waiting for you when you get out. Bees are patient. (Killer Bees National Geographic)

These are all accounts from wildlife photographers and their close encounters. The photographers all admit they were in the animals kingdom and didn't blame the animal.


I hope everyone learned something from this. Like, don't become a wildlife photographer, for one.

Ha ha Piggies!!

LOS ANGELES - A judge rejected a request by two fraternity brothers to halt the DVD release of the hit spoof movie “Borat.”

West Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Joseph S. Biderman also refused to order the removal of a scene that includes the two men, who claim they had been duped into misbehaving on camera.

Biderman issued his two-page decision on Friday after hearing arguments the previous day.

The South Carolina fraternity brothers filed a lawsuit Nov. 9 claiming they were tricked into making racist and sexist remarks to British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen in “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.”

In one scene of the mockumentary, Cohen as rowdy Kazakh journalist Borat hangs out with the men in a motor home and watches the Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee sex tape.

The fraternity brothers claim the filmmakers got them drunk before getting them to sign release forms agreeing to appear in the film. Their names do not appear in the lawsuit.

The film “made plaintiffs the objects of ridicule, humiliation, mental anguish, and emotional and physical distress,” the lawsuit claims.

A trial date for the lawsuit, which seeks unspecified monetary damages, has not been set.

Louis Petrich, an attorney for 20th Century Fox and One America Productions, said he was pleased about the judge’s decision.


Those guys need to become Amish. Then they'll be ok.

Prince is so boring now

Funk veteran Prince to play at Super Bowl show

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Funk rock veteran Prince will perform during the halftime show at the Super Bowl in February.

The slot during the most-watched television show in the United States has come under scrutiny since Janet Jackson's breast-baring "wardrobe malfunction" in 2004 led to sharply higher fines for broadcast indecency.

This year, the Rolling Stones were bleeped a few times during their three-song set, much to their annoyance.

Prince, the 48-year-old Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee who rose to fame on the strength of such tunes as "Little Red Corvette" and "Let's Go Crazy," will perform at Dolphin Stadium near Miami on Sunday, February 4. The game will be televised on CBS, a unit of CBS Corp. This year's event, held in Detroit, drew 91 million viewers in the United States, according to Nielsen Media Research.

It's unlikely Prince will have problems with censors from the network and the National Football League. He has become a Jehovah's Witness and disavowed the kinkier tunes that make up a hefty chunk of his catalog.

His Super Bowl performance was announced on the CBS sports show "NFL Today," three days after he received five nominations for the Grammy Awards, the music industry's most prestigious event.

I'm so tired of celebrities that ruled as sluts trying to be all good and proper. Angelina decides to pursue the sainthood, Madonna's writing children's books and Prince is a damn Jehovah's witness and he won't swear. What's next is Fergie going to become a nun? ENOUGH!!! Bring back the assless pants and "Sexy Motherfucker" already!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Nicole's Mugshot

As we learned this morning, Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI

Her mug shot was finally released:

(It wasn't as bad as I hoped, so I Nolte'd it up a bit.)

YouTube Picks of the Day

The Greatest Moment in Saturday Morning Television..........EVER

Apocalypto Recut

Remember Doug? The State ruled

More fun with Legos

This chick is hot

Which Song Would You Choose If You Had To Be Locked In a Room For 24 Hours Listening To It?

Fergalicious vs Lips of An Angel

This is a tough one. Both of these songs are on every 5 fricking minutes and are equally grating. Hinder are being hailed as the new saviours of rock-n-roll (Gag, Cough! Puh-lease! Real rock stars bang whoever they want and don't write a wussy song about the hardships of being faithful!) Then we have Fergie's latest jab-pencils-in-your-ears rip-off of J.J. Fad's awesome song that everyone under 30 will think Stacy-- ooh sorry-- Fergie, wrote (you know, like Diddy wrote Kashmir) I'm so disgusted with music these days I don't know which one is worse. Debate amongst yourselves.

Tori is hard up for cash

Tori Spelling Hawks Her Wares

If your wardrobe has a hole that only a be-daisied babydoll dress, circa 1993, can fill, then Tori Spelling has just the sale for you.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 alum is opening her house—or at least, yard—to '90s-lovin' bargain hunters, TV memorabilia collectors and, most of all, schadenfreude-seeking stargazers, holding a public yard sale Friday and Saturday at her Studio City home.

In an announcement first posted to both and neighborhood utility poles—and, subsequently, to nearly every celebcentric blog in existence—Spelling and Dean McDermott, her husband of seven months, invited the masses to peruse and, with any luck, purchase more than a decade's worth of wares from their front lawn.

Or, as their flyer puts it, to "Take Some Tori Home."

According to the online posting, the fiscally challenged couple plans to hawk remnants of Spelling's "last 15 years of buying and collecting" and will include such potential stocking stuffers as photos, crystal sconces, designer clothes, paintings, 19th-, 20th- and 21st-century antiques and, as is customary of any yard sale, celebrity-sponsored or not, "assorted bric-a-brac."

The sale kicked off this morning at 9 a.m., and E! Online senior editor Marc Malkin reports that early-morning shoppers, who began lining up outside the estate at 5:30, have already hauled off such star-worthy spoils as a garage-door opener, a Louis Vuitton hatbox and an embroidered pillow in custom-made white shopping bags stamped with "Tori Spelling."


I wish I lived in California so I could have gone. I wonder if she sold that hot-ass outfit she wore in the episode where David was making the rock video and she played the last woman in a post-apocalyptic Peach Pit After Dark. I'd rock that shit. Or what about the mermaid costume that she couldn't move in in the Halloween episode where Kelly almost got raped? Or the red dress she couldn't move in at the dance? That Donna and her wacky outfits! BTW, I googled Donna Martin and found this and I was so bummed out it wasn't an actual site with the real Donna Martin Original designs. I wonder how many emails this lady gets asking for her to design them a wedding dress.

Ok, I'll stop now.

Tom and Katie's Coming-Out Party

No, it's not what you think, although I wonder if the E! staffer who wrote the article worded it like that intentionally. They had another damn party. They dissed Oprah again. John and Kelly dissed them. Dawson was there though.


Tom and Katie's Coming-Out Party

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes traded an Italian castle for the Beverly Hills variety Saturday night, as the newlyweds were feted by some of the most powerful players in show biz at the home of Cruise's longtime producing partner, Paula Wagner, and her husband, Rick Nicita.

Police cordoned off the area around the home in the early evening, threatening the dozens of reporters and video and still photographers with citations if they clogged the streets.

Guests started arriving around 6 p.m., with Mr. and Mrs. Cruise, along with daughter Suri, arriving in a three-vehicle armada of tinted-out black SUVs around 6:40 p.m. Cruise's two children with Nicole Kidman, Connor and Isabella, arrived separately in a Bentley. (The entire family spent the earlier part of the day watching the older kids play soccer in L.A.)

Ostensibly, the party was a celebration for those who couldn't make it to Rome for the couple's Nov. 18 nuptials and a who's-who of Hollywood royalty descended upon the affair in style. Steven Spielberg and Cate Capshaw pulled up in a Bentley, Oliver Stone arrived in a silver Porsche and Orlando Bloom kept it on the down low, driving himself in a yellow VW Bug. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, who were at the Bracciano, Italy, wedding, turned up for Saturday's soiree in a Rolls Royce. (For exclusive video of the arrivals, check out The Vine.)

Others spotted arriving chez Wagner included Cruise's ex, Penéope Cruz, James Van Der Beek, Derek Luke, Catherine Bell, Diane Sawyer, Larry King, Brian Grazer, former Paramount studio boss Sherry Lansing, Variety's eminence grise Army Archerd, and Last Samurai director Ed Zwick and producer Marshall Herskovitz.

Tents were erected to shelter the 300 guests from the night's rainfall.

The entire affair cost an estimated $400,000, reports E! Online senior editor Marc Malkin.

No word on whether John Travolta and Kelly Preston, who were said to have received an invitation but were no-shows in Rome, turned up for the postwedding bash.

However, Oprah Winfrey, who was passed over for the Italy celebration, also failed to make the cut for the L.A. edition, according to her