Don't Cry For Me Archuleta

MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:


Syesha was incredible last night! A show-stopping performance and the show had just started! Phenomenal! Sensational! Stupendous! Simon even got a woody!

How much you wanna bet she'll be eliminated tonight? I don't want her to, it just seems that's the way it goes on this show. (Crossing my fingers DialIdol is right and she's in the clear)

OTHER MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:


Geez, one makeover and some really great performances and now everyone wants to jump this guy, even David Guest-I mean Andrew Lloyd Webber, who tells poor David to sing to him while pretending he's beautiful jailbait. David's all "Who the hell do I look like, R. Kelly?" Then suddenly R. Kelly emerges from a closet somewhere and is all "What's that supposed to mean boy....boy..boy.. you're hot David! I ain't gay, but I want you. We can keep it on the downlow, nobody has to know." And then I'm like "GET IN LINE EVERYONE!"

But the line really goes to the casting call for Rock of Love 3 and David and I run off together and he sings this song to me and I'm like "Damn David, I knew you were good, but I didn't know you could pull this shit off, you are even more awesome than I thought!! I hope people finally stop comparing you to that douche Daughtry now." Then we passionately make out. Reprise. And scene. (Curtain)

Intermission.
"Hey Constantine, I'll take a pack of Goobers and a vodka and orange Fanta. Thanks and keep the change."


MOST AWESOMELY BAD PERFORMANCE:


That's not fair actually, because the first 1:44 of this clip (before he actually starts singing) is the most awesome part of the night. Yeah, that Jason's pretty special. I love the way Andrew Lloyd Webber refers to him, you really would think he's talking about a kid that rides the short bus.

Of course the best part is when Jason Vinny Barbarino's "I dinnit know a cat was singin' it." when referring to his selection "Memory." FROM CATS!!

Can we replace Seacrest as the host with this guy?

ANOTHER REALLY GOOD PERFORMANCE FROM CARLY:


YAY!


ANOTHER BORING PERFORMANCE FROM DAVID ARCHULETA (but douchebag Randy loves it):


BOO!

Oh Dear.....

Where...

I’m sorry

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, remember “Let it Be?”
I think it was the “Woo!”

Confidence… disappears
Can't anyone see that I'm breaking down live?
Still I’m accused of being contrived
What do I have to do?

Deep in my purse I'm concealing
Two very live hand grenades
I’LL BLOW THIS BITCH UP TO THE CEILING!
Nevermind, it’s okay

You must love me (or else)