Translation: HELP!!!!

Katie Holmes recently gave her first post-sham marriage interview to Harper's Bazaar. Here are the answers Tom programmed:

On Tom and Suri: "I have a husband and children that I adore. I have a career that I really love. When I sit back and reflect, it's – wow!"

"I am very grateful. Tom makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and has since the day I met him. I love being with him. I love calling him husband."

On motherhood: "I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women – to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' "

"I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means – is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? – and figuring out how to really help her."

On her {cough} career: "I have a whole new set of responsibilities," she says. "My work is very important to me. My family is very important to me. When I go to work, it will be the right thing, worth my time and worth my time away from my family."


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