Are You Ready? No, fuck off!

Hey, all you thirty-something soccer moms, break out your I HEART JORDAN oversized pin (Yeah you Jennifer or Melissa - Go fish it out of the Goodwill pile you threw it in after you saw him act like a douche on Surreal Life) and tease those bangs because the NEW KIDS are back!!

Yup, it appears that the rumors of the New Kids on the Block (NKOTB if you're from the street--the Backstreet) reunion look like they're true.

The "Kids" have updated their website (www.nkotb.com) with a new song and a promotional video that asks "Are you ready?" (You know, on wrestling when the tag-team DX says "Are You Ready," they're asking if you're ready to "Suck it." I think this applies here beautifully.)

Do you remember the NKOTB-mania back in the late 80's/early 90's? N-Sync, Backstreet, even Britney--all of them together at their peak had nothing on the New Kids pandemonium. That shit was insane. They sold that crap EVERYWHERE! There was no escaping it. I remember seeing a commercial for a local car dealership and they were hawking New Kids crap to get people onto their fucking lot. My dentist gave me a fucking New Kids on the Block toothbrush! I HATED the fucking New Kids on the Block. My entire fucking female 9th grade class were like a damn cult with their stupid fucking New Kids on the Block t-shirts, new Kids on the Block notebooks, New Kids on the Block pencils, New Kids on the Block tampons, New Kids on the Block etc. It was a goddamn fucking Hangin' Tough nightmare. I blame my fucking 1990 anorexia episode on the New Kids on the Block because I was so goddamn sick of them that I couldn't eat. It wasn't an eating disorder- it was a hunger strike!

I survived that bullshit and I really don't want to be reminded of it again.

What is with all these 80's comebacks anyway? Crazy Paula just recorded a new song and now the New Kids are reuniting. I'm sure Stacey Q, the Cover Girls, Linear, and Expose aren't far behind. I actually wouldn't mind those other ones so much. The Cover Girls ruled!!