MOST AWESOME PERFORMANCE:
GLLADD__IIII__AAAAA__TTTT---OOOO----RRRRRRR!!!
We've been waiting all season for this!! It's (the real!) Paula bitch! Best American Idol fuck up since Brooke White last week!! Now of course everybody's wondering if the A) the judges' comments are scripted. B) the judges' comments are predetermined at rehearsals. C) Paula is just drunk/drugged . D) Paula is psychic. E) Paula is psychotic.
Whatever it is, it was the best part of an otherwise pretty boring episode. I can't stop watching the clip. Every time I pick something new up, it's like the Matrix movies. Like check out Kendra from the Girls Next Door sitting behind Paula, she's dumb as rocks but even she turns to the person next to her to give a "the hell?" Then there's Ryan, nearly getting whiplash as he whips his head to stage right (probably to poor Debbie, who's like "not my fault bitch! I gave her her pills.") At that moment, you can hear people laughing too. It almost sounds like a laugh track. Then David Cook laughing adorably (sorry, I can't shake this thing.) And then Ryan laughing nervously. Awesome, awesome, awesome!
Sadly, the rest of Neil Diamond week was pretty uneventful and due to each contestant doing two songs, was sped up to Kristy Lee Cook "8 Days a Week" warpspeed. They didn't even have time to change in between performances.
BROOKE BRINGS BACK THE WOOOO! (CALL RIC FLAIR!):
Her second performance was actually one of her best of the season but this one was more fun because it was a total "fuck it!" performance. This is the fun end of her craziness!
ALL I REALLY NEED IS COOK:
Wait, I just realized David's left-handed, why didn't I notice that before? It was either because I'm always staring deeply into his eyes, hypnotized, or because I'm fixated on his hair. Which, now that I bring it up, I'm getting a little nervous about because it kind of looks like it's on it's way back to pre-makeover --can somebody please stop this from happening?? No really, it's very important to our relationship. Stylist? Debbie? Ryan? It better be all did right tonight, or I'll go all Mr. Archuleta on your asses kay? Other than that, he looked pretty hot tonight, loved that jacket. Oh, I also realized his and his brother's initials together are AC/DC -that's pretty cool. Now, that would be a good theme night, not this Neil Diamond crap.
Oh, right, the songs. I didn't know either song he had but I liked this performance best of the two. Bet the studio version is awesome.
THE FIRST SONG (AKA THE ONE THAT PAULA LIKED BETTER) :
Personally, I liked his third song the best. But this one was cool. The song fit him, since he actually does look like he is always wearing the same pair of jeans.
SO BAD! SO BAD! SO BAD!
Ugh, first the Red Sox made me hate this song, then I found out it was about a pre-pubescent Caroline Kennedy and that creeped me out, now this. I would take a guess that this version of the song is on loop in the waiting room right before you are checked in to HELLLLLL!!! (like that room in Beetlejuice)
Of course Randy loved it.
GOING HOME:
Poor Syesha, every week she tries so hard, like the younger sibling of a golden child yearning to receive the tiniest bit of acknowledgement from her parents. And every week, no matter how awesome she does, she is denied. So the next week she tries harder and goes for bigger tricks but is denied again, and so on and so on. Sadly, she's about to run out of time before she has a chance to incorporate magic illusions, a chorus line, dancing poodles, and legally change her name to David. Hey, does Archie have siblings? Maybe she can hang out with them and they can all drink together after she's eliminated tonight.
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