Thursday, November 8, 2007

Random Hollywood Bitchfight of the Week


So did you hear the one about the bitchfight between George Clooney and Fabio? No really.

Both were recently dining at the LA restaurant, Madeo, when George flipped off Fabio when he thought a woman in Fabio's party was taking photos of him. Fabio defended the women, saying that she wasn't taking pictures of him, but of her dinner party. Fabio also reportedly instructed George to "stop being a diva." With that, all hell broke loose and it escalated into a shoving match (because pretty boys don't actually hit each other in the
faces.)

Let's settle this right here on Asshat Hollywood shall we?


Please welcome our special guests George Clooney and Fabio.


I'll start with you George. Tell me, why did you think that woman was taking pictures of you at the restaurant?

"Are you joking? Look at me! I'm the reigning Sexiest Man Alive for the second time."

"Who cares about the People Magazine, I am Fabio. I make my living being sexy. I don't even have to act or speak. That's how sexy I am. They just take my picture and give me money."

"So you are proud that you have no talent whatsoever?

"I did not say that. I am sexy. You think that is not talent? Look at this!"

"Oh, please, I don't need to wear a loincloth to prove that I'm sexy."

Excuse me, George! Yoo-hoo, um yeah, over here. I think you just may have to. I don't have a loincloth handy though so you'll have to use this Post-It note.

"Can I go now? I have go sign tubs of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter for women that are in love with me but will never have me because I am too sexy for them."

"Christ. Where's a bird and a roller-coaster when you need one?"


"That was a very traumatic experience for me and very low of you to bring up, you diva! You leave me no choice but to match it."

"You wouldn't."

"You take the good, you take the bad..."


"Stop it."


"You take them both and there you have the Facts of Life, the Facts of Life..."


"Oh, it's ON now! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!!!"

"TOOTIE, TOOTIE, TOOTIE!!"


"You want another shovin', don't ya BUTTERBOY!!!"



George and Fabio had to go. They are currently outside shoving and slapping each other in a mud pit filled with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter if any of you are interested.




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