Catching up

So I missed some stuff yesterday, sue me. Unfortunately, all you can sue me for is leftover Halloween candy. Speaking of, did you know they don't even make candy cigarettes anymore? Well they do, but now they're called "candy sticks." Because you know those candy cigarettes made kids want to smoke. Just like that lovable Joe Camel character. I started smoking because he was so damn cool and I wanted to be just like him.

So anyway by now I'm sure everyone knows that Robert Goulet died, Lane Garrison got 40 months in real prison for vehicular manslaughter, and Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen have became the creepiest couple since Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood.

Back to Halloween, can I just rant for a minute? I'm really sick of these SUV's pulling up in front of my house and 20 "kids" (and by kids, I mean 19 year olds) jumping out with no attempt at a costume and facing forward opened backpacks (because they can't be bothered to even hold a damn bag). No "trick or treat," no "thank you." Oh, but I was lucky enough to get a "Can I have you?" Ok, buddy, if you are old enough to think like that then you are too old to be trick or treating. Unless you're trick or treating at Mary Kay Leterno's house.

It irks the shit out of me because there's nothing you can do. You want to slam the door in their face so bad but you can't because they know where you live. I do have two bowls of candy: good candy and crap candy and the no-costumes get the crap candy, but it still sucks because they still get something so that means they win.

I've decided that next year I am going to go through my house and find a bunch of shit and put it on my front lawn and tell those 25 year olds that if they want candy they'd better go through that shit, put a damn costume together, and make it work. Earn that candy bitches!