BUT SHE'S NOT DRINKING!!!

Here's a photo taken yesterday of Lindsay hanging out in Miami. Look closely, I see two drinks there, how about you? And don't even try to say maybe hers is non-alcoholic---nothing in this picture is virgin.

DIVORCE

Michael Jordan and his wife Juanita mutually filed for divorce yesterday. They were married for 17 years and have three children. Juanita filed once before in 2002, but withdrew the petition after a month when they decided to try to work it out. No word on whether the Hanes commercials have anything to do with the separation. (yeah, sorry, I know that one was weak. Couldn't think of anything better)

MARRIAGE!

Congrats to Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox who married yesterday in LA. Nikki is not sure if she is going to take Mohr as her last name or do some combination of the two. May I suggest Nikki Mohr Cox?

Everytime I see Jay Mohr I can't help but think of the lipsynching show on MTV about ten years ago called LipService. That show was awesome.

Paris (tries to) Diss Britney

Paris should consult Brandon Davis for a lesson in name-calling. Apparently ever since Britney decided to clean up her image (insert laughter here) and stop hanging out with Paris, Paris has been badmouthing her to friends and frequently referring to her as "Animal."

Don't worry Brit, I always thought Animal was pretty damn cool.

Saddam Hussein HUNG! (or HANGED! Whatever!)

From CNN:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Defiant to the end, Saddam Hussein mocked Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr moments before he was hanged, a witness said Saturday.

The Iraqi government executed Hussein before dawn as punishment for his role in a massacre of his own people, more than two decades before he was toppled by a U.S.-led invasion.

A video of the execution broadcast on Al-Iraqiya state television showed Hussein, dressed in a black overcoat, being led into a room by three masked guards

A witness, Iraqi Judge Munir Haddad, said that one of the executioners told Hussein that the former dictator had destroyed Iraq, which sparked an argument that was joined by several government officials in the room.

As a noose was tightened around Hussein's neck, one of the executioners yelled "long live Muqtada al-Sadr," Haddad said, referring to the powerful anti-American Shiite religious leader.

Hussein, a Sunni, mockingly uttered one last phrase before he died: "Muqtada al-Sadr," according to Haddad's account.

The judge said Hussein appeared "totally oblivious to what was going on around him. I was very surprised. He was not afraid of death."

But Haddad's description of Hussein's demeanor before his execution contrasts markedly with another witness, Iraqi national security adviser Mowaffak al-Rubaie. "He was a broken man," al-Rubaie said. "He was afraid. You could see fear in his face."

(story continues at link above)

SHOCKER!! Mike Tyson Arrested--UPDATED

Here's the real mugshot. Must have been hot in there, he's panting.


The mugshot from this latest arrest has not yet surfaced. Luckily, we had one on backup:

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) -- Mike Tyson was arrested for driving under the influence and possession of cocaine after police stopped him leaving a Scottsdale nightclub early Friday.

Sgt. Larry Hall said the heavyweight boxer was stopped after his car almost struck a sheriff's vehicle while leaving the club at about 1:45 a.m.

"He showed signs of impairment, and voluntarily submitted to field sobriety tests," said Hall, a member of the Buckeye Police Department who was working in the area as part of a holiday DUI task force.

Hall said Tyson was placed under arrest after "showing more signs of impairment" during the field sobriety tests.

Police subsequently searched Tyson and found cocaine on him and in his car.

Full Story

Larry Hall doesn't state how he was able to tell Tyson was impaired. I'd sure like to know, that's some good police work right there!

PETA's Worst Dressed of 2006

Here come the best/worst lists of the year. PETA has named it's top offenders for 2006:


1. Nicole Richie: This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones. She’s an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match.

2. Ashley Olsen: Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead.

3. Eva Longoria: You’d think she’d be more sympathetic to the plight of rabbits considering the way she screws around like one on Wisteria Lane.

4. Christina Ricci: Disregarding the holiday season’s “Peace on Earth” message, Ricci recently posed for a magazine cover wearing fur from slaughtered reindeer. At least she’s not into fur hats: Imagine how many more pelts it would take to cover that forehead.

PETA LATER RETRACTED THEIR COMMENT ON CHRISTINA AND REPLACED WITH:

*UPDATE: Great news! We’re thrilled to report that Christina Ricci has had a change of heart about fur after receiving an email from PETA asking her to watch a fur expose by Martha Stewart. In an email to PETA VP Dan Mathews, Ricci says, “I never meant to hurt nor anger anyone with my insensitivity. For what it is worth I have received the message loud and clear and will not be wearing fur in the future. I apologize for my offensive actions.” Ricci is being removed from peta2’s list.

You may notice that Paris Hilton didn’t make the list this year, and that’s because we’re giving her the benefit of the doubt. Paris has been telling reporters that she’s no longer wearing fur after seeing what really happens to animals, like dogs and cats on Chinese fur farms. Animals who are victims of the fashion industry live in miserable filthy conditions before they are killed for couture—many of them will be skinned alive.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't even know these people wore fur until this list came out! Where the hell are JLo and Beyonce? Oh and if I were Christina, I'd still be pissed about that forehead comment. And the fact that Nicole is holding a diet soda is bothering me more than the fur coat.

Julia is Pregnant Again

Page Six reports that Julia Roberts and her husband, Danny Moder are expecting their third child. Julia had a difficult pregnancy with her twins,Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia (and gave them those names to punish them for her pain) so this pregnancy comes as a surprise to many. Julia, didn't you learn anything from playing that dumbass in Steel Magnolias?

Goodbye James

James Brown's body was laid out at the Apollo Theater in Harlem today for fans to pay their respects. During Al Sharpton's memorial speech the audience booed and the tap dancing clown came out and hauled his ass off the stage.

In related news, no Johnny Reznick did not die.

photo credit

Brandon and Dylan reunited in Beverly Hills

"Get over it Dylan, she chose herself."

Photo credit

PAYPAL = FASCISTS

FROM PAGE SIX:
December 21, 2006 -- VINCENT Gallo is no pal of PayPal. The online payment service abruptly cut ties with the actor-director because it didn't want to be associated with him selling his sexual services and sperm through his Web site. "They are really fascists. They should breathe some death gas or something," the star of X-rated flick "Brown Bunny" told Page Six. For years, Gallo had used PayPal as an intermediary to collect payments from people ordering merchandise over vincentgallo.com, including clothing, posters, artwork and jewelry. But he says PayPal got squeamish at him offering himself to single women and lesbian couples for prices of $50,000-$200,000, and sperm samples for women who want to have his baby for $1 million. "For them to say they have some sort of moral regard for their clients is incredible - they're a penny-pinching, conniving company," he fumed. Gallo says he's switching to American Express, Visa and MasterCard, "just like all the good escort services use." A PayPal rep defended cutting off Gallo, saying he violated its "policy against facilitating meetings for sexually oriented activities."

Poor Britney

Britney's most popular fansite, WorldofBritney.com, posted the following message:

"As Britney keeps losing her identity and credibility within fans and industry people, so is WoB. We're moving on to greater, bigger things. I would therefore like to announce the permanent shut down of World of Britney.com beginning January 31st, 2007. "I think that WoB has had its run.......its feet are not holding firm anymore, not because of my ability to run it, but because I believe Britney is unfortunately done (for me at least). No matter what anyone thinks or how they may disagree, it's very hard to maintain the respect needed to keep things going, so in turn, I'm trying to be a step ahead of it."

Among the greater and bigger things WoB is moving on to: Asking Brittany Murphy, Brittany Daniel, and Brittny Gastineau to consider changing the spelling of their names in return for being the new subject of the website, getting that tattoo of Britney's face removed from his ass, switching from Pepsi to Coca Cola, finally admitting Crossroads sucked, getting money back for K-Fed CD, directing, and adopting a Malawian orphan.

In related news - trainwrecks.com is very happy with Britney's recent behavior.

All I want for Christmas is a new bellybutton so I can be perfect again

Apparently Tara Reid wasn't a very good girl this year because she woke up on Christmas morning and the only thing waiting for her was a pile of her own vomit. She then kicked the jolly white-bearded guy out of her bed. Fucking Imposter! Poor Tara. :(

Things without bellybuttons have bugged me since I was a kid. True story: I made my mom sew a bellybutton on my teddybear Puh-Puh (who I still have today)

So like my mom hooked up Puh-Puh, I'm going to hook up Tara. Except unlike my mom, I'm not very good at sewing. But I do have a leftover sliced Greek olive from lunch and in the spirit of the season, I'd like to give it to our girl.



Party on Tara! :)

More Donald Drama

FROM THE NATIONAL LEDGER:
Donald Trump had a banner week leading up to Christmas. The Real Estate mogul answered Rosie O'Donnell's attacks on Miss USA Tara Conner and also slammed the round mound of put down in a variety of ways, hitting her with a barrage insults and even saying he could steal away Rosie's lover Kelli Carpenter with one of his 'friends.'

Now Radar Online takes the opportunity to again drag up nude photos that they allege are of Melania Knauss and publish them with the query: "Which of The Donald's many "friends" possesses the lesbian know-how, killer bod, and romantic cunning needed to seduce Rosie's lady lover, Kelli?"

The photos were spotted in some magazine called Celebrity Sleuth (in issue 35 no less) and Radar reports that the mag had run two full spreads of nude and near-nude pics of Melania, the future Mrs. Trump, in various stages of lesbianic embrace, which it claimed were taken during her modeling days in the late '90s.

At the time Radar reports that they had received word from the Donald that these pictures were not of Melania.

No matter - the online pictures are again posted at Radar, and are definitely of a striking brunette solo and with a friend. Are they of Melania Knauss, the wife of Trump? The shots copied from the magazine are far from any high resolution shots, so it's a tough call.

PICS HERE- NOT WORK SAFE

Negotiations are currently underway to determine if Melania will lose her title as Mrs. Trump.

Save the ocean!

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A ruptured crude oil pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico spilled more than 20,000 gallons of crude oil over the weekend, leaving a half-mile-long oil slick in the water, the U.S. Coast Guard said on Tuesday.

"A medium crude oil pipeline ruptured 30 miles southeast of Galveston, Texas, and leaked approximately 21,000 gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico Sunday, December 24," the Coast Guard said in a release.

Plains All American Pipeline L.P., operator of the High Island Pipeline, said it shut the line down on Sunday after the leak was detected and that it was working with state and federal agencies to minimize the impact of the spill.

The cause of the incident is currently under investigation.


Duh! We all know it was no pipeline, Brandon Davis just decided to go swimming.

PIC FROM TMZ.COM

Posh is the next Jerry Lewis

EX-Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is reportedly set to star in Tom Cruise's new Scientology film as an alien bride.

Britain's Daily Star newspaper reports that the wife of football star David Beckham has apparently been lined up to play the alien bride in The Thetan - based on the religion, which believes in alien life forms.

The Daily Star reported that Victoria - who Cruise has described as a "comic genus" - is said to be "thrilled" about getting her big Hollywood break.

A source told the Daily Star: "Victoria is really hoping to make a go of it in Hollywood.

"This could be the perfect start for her, with good pal Tom Cruise in charge."

The 32-year-old - who made her first attempt at acting in the 1997 Spice Girls movie Spice World - will play the bride of an alien leader called a thetan, which Scientologists claim is an immortal spiritual being, present in all humans.

Cruise - who is bankrolling the project himself after it was rejected by all the major film studios - is said to have picked Victoria for the role after being impressed by her "comic genius".

Victoria - who is married to soccer superstar David Beckham - is currently looking to buy a property in Los Angeles after recently landing a presenting role on a new US fashion programme.

Source


I know the first thing I think of when I hear the name Victoria Beckham is comedienne extraordinare. I mean, just look at this!
It's like Lucille Ball! Goosebumps!

RIP

Dec 22, 2006 -(AP) Actor Mike Evans, best known as Lionel Jefferson in the TV comedy series "All in the Family" and "The Jeffersons," has died. He was 57.

Evans died of throat cancer Dec. 14 at his mother's home in Twentynine Palms, said his niece, Chrystal Evans.




Dec. 25, 2006 - ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- James Brown, the legendary R&B belter, a singer and songwriter who created a foundation for funk and provided the roots of rap, a man of many nicknames but a talent that can only be described as one of a kind, is dead.

Brown died early Monday at Atlanta's Emory Crawford Long Hospital of congestive heart failure, his agent said. He was 73.



Dec. 27, 2006 - The former US president Gerald Ford has died, aged 93.


Here's where you say the obligatory: "Wow, they always really do die in threes."

Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Congrats Puff Daddy!!

Full Story

Yeah, I know it's Diddy but I don't give a turd. If I was ever invited to one of his asshat swanky "White" parties, I'd scuff up my shoes when I got inside, just to bug him.

Anyway, Kim Porter, aka "the woman who waited by the phone for Diddy to take her back after J-Lo dumped him" gave birth this morning to twin girls. They originally named the girls Fluff Baby and Buff Baby, but then Diddy changed their names to F. Kiddy and B. Kiddy, then changed them once again to just Kiddy and Kiddy, however then they couldn't tell them apart so Diddy decided to do what he does best: sample other people's stuff. The children are currently named "Apple" and "Suri." I'll post updates as I receive them.

The Hair vs The Mouth

So the latest asshats feuding are Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.
Here's the rundown:


On Wednesday, "The View" co-host Rosie O'Donnell expressed her dismay over Donald Trump's news conference with Miss USA Tara Conner, saying it had annoyed her "on a multitude of levels."

The real-estate mogul countered on "Access Hollywood," saying he would sue O'Donnell and have someone seduce her girlfriend.

The following are excerpts from their tit-for-tat comments:

O'Donnell on Trump:

"This young girl, Tara Conner, how old is she? 20? 21. She went out and she was partying. She's from Kentucky. She went to New York and she was hanging out at all the parties, doing what Paris and Lindsay do — you know, dancing, whatever.

"And so he held a press conference on whether or not she was going to retain her crown.

"And then she started to cry, going 'I just want to thank Donald for giving me a second chance.'

"And there he is, hair looping, going 'Everyone deserves a second chance. I'm going to give her a second chance.'

"He annoys me on a multitude of levels. He's the moral authority? Left the first wife, had an affair, left the second wife, had an affair. Had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America.

Donald, sit and spin, my friend. I don't enjoy him. No, no, no, no.

He inherited a lot of money, wait a minute, and he's been bankrupt so many times where he didn't have to pay. ... I just think that this man is sort of like one of those, you know, snake oil salesmen in 'Little House on the Prairie.'"


Trump on O'Donnell:

"Well Rosie is a loser. Rosie’s been a loser for a long time. Her magazine failed. She got sued. She folded up like a tent. It was too bad.

"Everything about Rosie, and I watch her — and actually somebody sent me a clip of what she said — Rosie is somebody out of control who really just doesn’t have it. And she ought to be careful cause I’ll send one of my friends to pick up her girlfriend, and I think it would be very easy.

"Rosie’s first show had very poor ratings, and at the end she was doing very badly because the public got tired of her, and Rosie is somebody you get tired of.

"But her show did very poorly. Her magazine, I think it was called Rosie, was a total failure. Rosie is a failure.

"Ultimately she will be a loser and you watch. Watch what happens to 'The View.' I will bet the ratings very shortly will start going down. People can’t stand watching her. She’s both unattractive inside and out. She’s got some big problems.

"Well you know what, I’m worth $5 billion plus — by a lot. And Rosie said Trump went bankrupt. I never went bankrupt. She’ll say anything that comes to her unattractive mouth. She said I went bankrupt. I’m worth much more than $5 million.

"She said lots of things. She said the Miss USA pageant was the small sister to Miss America. Miss America was thrown off the air. It’s on cable. It’s on a small cable network. And the Miss USA is getting great ratings and most importantly, it’s on network television. It’s on NBC.

"So she says things that come to her mouth. She’s not smart. She’s crude. She’s ignorant, and to be honest, I look forward to suing Rosie.


"I’m going to sue her and I look forward to it. She’s really very dangerous for the show. Now the people on the show don’t like her, the people that watch don’t like her and let’s see what happens.

"She’ll find out. She’ll find out. Rosie will find out what we’re suing her for. She knows what we’re suing her for. It’s something I look very forward to. ...

"In the case of Tara I wanted to give her a second chance and I thought it was important and somebody like Rosie doesn’t take it seriously because Rosie doesn’t have sensibility.

"Well look, Rosie is a very unattractive woman. I’m saying something. I’m not a politician so I’m not running for office so I can say it. I’m mean, Rosie is a very unattractive woman but as unattractive as she is on the outside, she’s even worse on the inside, and she’s very lucky to have a nice girlfriend.

"I think you better hold onto your girlfriend Rosie because if you lose her, you’ll never be able to get another one."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.
SOURCE

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But wait!! There's more!!

FROM TMZ.COM

Rosie O'Donnell shot back at Donald Trump this morning on "The View" -- with nothing more than a piggy-ish face.

Fitting, perhaps, since "pig-faced" was just one of the adjectives Trump used to describe Rosie yesterday after their public slapfight exploded. Against expectations, Rosie chose not to get in the ring with the Infamously-Coifed One, making only passing reference to The Donald.

Pointing out the presence of her partner Kelli in the studio audience, Rosie said, "I was afraid to leave her home in case someone with a combover [ahem] came and stole her from me."

And that was that. Meanwhile, Donald vented on "Good Morning L.A." Is Rosie now taking the high road, or has she been silenced? Her rep says she's has no additional comment.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Got all that? I know, they're not as skilled and it's not as fun as Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay. "Pig-faced" is no "firecrotch," but oh well, it's a slow gossip day so it's something to talk about (exactly as the Donald wants you to)

Hey Fox Network, I smell a "Celebrity Ultimate Fighting" special in this, how about you? You can even get O.J. to ref!

She's So Emo!

VIDEO AT TMZ.com

The latest stop on Britney's Nationwide Holiday Trainwreck Tour was an LA tattoo parlor with sister Jaime-Lynn (You know Jaime is taking notes on what not to do--or at least she should be) . So what did she get?

Wait for it.

A star on her hand! Photos

I know!! How original!!

Brit's looking worse and worse these days. She needs to hook up with Brandon Davis. They'd have the greasiest kids ever!

Guess Who's A Free Man?

Eminem's divorce was finalized yesterday [again].

That's all she did?

Underage Drinking? ZZZZ Cocaine? Boring. Faux-lesbianism? Yawn. Paris, Lindsay, and Britney have jaded me. I was hoping for a real scandal. Like being born a man or a donkey show or something. Even an affair with Donald would have been better.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tara Conner was tearful and full of remorse when she attended a press conference to announce that she was set to keep her crown and fulfill her duties as Miss USA for pageant owner Donald Trump. The blonde beauty queen had had accusations of cocaine use, passionate public lesbian kisses with fellow beauty queen Miss Teen USA and several other sordid allegations hurled at her from all angles and made no denials at the morning press conference.

The soap opera has all the elements, gorgeous blondes experimenting and kissing in public, men being snuck into rooms for alleged sexual encounters, underage drinking and positive drug test results have all been reported. Talking heads filled the cable TV shows and many said they were outraged that Donald Trump could forgive the Kentucky gal just because she was blinded by the lights of Broadway.

Full story
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Here's a picture that recently surfaced of Tara getting shitfaced with actor Jay Hernandez, some other dudes, and fucking Constantine from American Idol (don't even). I wonder how that night ended.

Why did Michael Jackson go to Kmart?

He heard boys' pants were half off! [tap,tap, cymbal crash!]


Wacko Jacko pledges his support to Asshat Hollywood by donning a pair of tighty whities on his head. Now that's a real asshat, especially if they are used.

Ok, you have one minute to make all the Michael Jackson/little boys/underwear jokes you can. Go!

YouTube Picks of the Day

ALVIN??

Ralphie & family - played by cartoon bunnies

This never gets old!

Everyone loves some Schweaty Balls for the holidays

It's really scary to think there are people that fall for this shit

More Lego fun

Everyone be sure to only refer to him as K-Fed

So K-Fed was on WWE Raw frickin' again last night (Please Vince, it couldn't cost that much to buy out whatever dates he's contracted for!) to promote his gimmick match with John Cena on New Year's Day. He kept saying over and over how he does not want to be called K-Fed anymore and that he wants to only be known as Kevin Federline (watch video) Personally these days, I think he should be thankful if people refer to him as Assmunch Poopypants, so long as they are referring to him at all.

So stupid. This is like when J-Lo wanted to be Jennifer Lopez, and when Puff Daddy wanted to be P. Diddy and then just Diddy, and when Tom Cruise wanted Katie to be Kate. Enough with the stupid "I will now be referred to...." crap, especially when you don't even have the talent to backup your asshatness. Oh, and K-fed, get your damn weasel-face off wrestling bitch! I'd rather look at Snitsky's backne.

In related news - Edge and Orton beating the shit out of DX - HOT!

Yeah, and Lindsay's Sober and Chinese Democracy is Coming Out

I think the unseasonably warm weather has these morons thinking it's April Fool's Day and not Christmas.


Paris Hilton Says She's Been Celibate for 'Six or Seven Months'

By Jennifer Cox
Dec 18, 2006

Many folks mocked celebrity socialite Paris Hilton when she declared that she was swearing off sex this summer. But the party girl is sticking with her story. According to a report from MSNBC Paris says she has been off sex for about six or seven months.

Uh-huh. Jeannette Walls reports in the Monday morning 'Scoop' offering that the hotel heiress is who reportedly has been dumped by her panty-less best friend, Britney Spears insists she’s made good on the no-sex claim.

When asked by a reporter how long it’s been since she’s had sex, Hilton said, “About six or seven months, I think. I don’t care,” reports the London Mirror. “I would rather just make out and kiss someone instead of sex.”

Hilton insists that she’s actually quite modest in that area.

“I’ve only been in, like, two relationships and I just thought I’d like to be single,” Hilton declared. “Sex is sacred. People shouldn’t have sex unless they’re in an exclusive relationship anyway. I’d rather not do anything. Guys want you more when you don’t do it! Young girls should know that.”

Paris Hilton the role model. Of course it is always difficult to tell with Ms. Hilton as she is also reportedly set to marry her on/off sweetie Stavros Niarchos.

ASININE PARIS QUOTE OF THE DAY :

According to Star Pulse She told the Daily Star in the UK, "It's true. I am going to get married. "I want a fairytale wedding and Britney's going to be my matron of honor. She can advise me."

SOURCE

The only thing I can think Britney can advise Paris of is to make sure you have an iron-clad pre-nup.

Maybe it was the pizza deliveryman

Penn Wants Bush Impeached ... But Hang On Just A Sec, Wouldja?

Sean Penn railed against President Bush and Vice President Cheney last night in New York and even called for their impeachment – but he first had to take a phone call while at the podium.

As FOX News reports, the Oscar-winning actor was honored with the Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award from the Creative Coalition, and even though his message was a fervent, stern one, he couldn't quite get on track because his cell phone kept ringing. Penn decided he had to answer the call. Still, once he got going, he went there: "If we attempt to impeach for lying about a [certain oral sex act], yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a [human] stain on the flag we wave," said Penn.

SOURCE

He is so humorless he totally missed out on a perfect set-up for a Lewinsky joke. Where did you go Jeff Spicoli?

She's so classy, I can't stand it!

goatse??

FROM TMZ.com -


Britney Strips for Free, Still Gets the Hook

Britney Spears just can't – or won't – keep her clothes on. After exposing herself with a little see-through number for her mom's birthday (photos and video here) and then a cleavage-spilling blouse for the Lakers game Sunday night, Brit went over to Hollywood burlesque club 40 Deuce and, as the New York Daily News reports, decided to give the patrons a little show of her own between striptease acts. Brit, cig in hand, "gyrated for the crowd," and bared her bra for all to see (not that we haven't seen it all before).

Amusingly, the club owner actually had to ask the Unsinkable Ms. Spears to cede the stage to the pros, but she wouldn't budge.

Finally, to refresh herself after all the exertion, Brit slaked her thirst, says the Daily News, with that classic cocktail of Champagne and Coke.



That is so awesome that the club owner booted her ass from the stage!

Just a Little Bullshit...Yeah, yeah, Some More Bullshit, Yeahhhhh

An open letter from Axl Rose
From gunsnroses.com
An open letter to our fans:

Guns N’ Roses regrets to announce that the following concert tour dates have been canceled:

January 10: Sacramento
January 11: Bakersfield
January 13: Reno
January 16: San Diego

Because of the scheduling of these particular shows, valuable time needed by the band and record company for the proper setup and release of the album Chinese Democracy would have been lost. Rather than delay the album yet again, all involved have decided to remove these shows from GN’R’s schedule. We hope our fans understand and we apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused. Tickets may be refunded at point of purchase.

To say the making of this album has been an unbearably long and incomprehensible journey would be an understatement. Overcoming the endless and seemingly insane amount of obstacles faced by all involved, notwithstanding the emotional challenges endured by everyone -- the fans, the band, our road crew and business team -- has at many times seemed like a bad dream in which one wakes up only to find that they are still in the nightmare. Unfortunately, this time it has been played out for over a decade in real life.

The true, ongoing, behind-the-scenes triumphs and casualties are much more complicated than any negative speculation that the media or otherwise has managed to hit upon. For much of the time, various legal issues have arisen, demanding that the best way to deal with these things publicly, quite frankly, was to keep our mouths shut in an attempt to ensure the best outcome -- especially one that wouldn’t jeopardize the band or the album. It’s easy for people to point out how others have handled similar situations or how they would have dealt with these issues themselves if they encountered them in their own lives. But again, without full knowledge of the various dynamics and circumstances involved, these types of comments or commentary are just uninformed, disassociated, generally useless -- and often hindering -- speculation.

When I agreed to do our recent North American tour, I did it with the understanding that my manager, Merck Mercuriadis, and I were in full agreement regarding our strategy and touring plans and, most important, that any and all things needed to release the album by Dec. 26 at the latest were in place. Unfortunately, it turned out that this was not the case, and I regret to say that the album will not be released by the end of the year. Although many things went extremely well and were very exciting, there were, in our opinion, unnecessary and avoidable complications on our tour having to do with the tour routing, scheduling and album and video plans that wreaked havoc on all involved. This was compounded by an overall sense of a lack of respect by management for the band and crew and each individual's particular expertise that has resulted, unfortunately, in the end of both Guns’ and my managerial involvement with Merck Mercuriadis.

In regard to a release date for the album itself, certain minor –- and I do mean minor -- additions, as well as contract negotiations, need to be completed. Barring any unforeseen complications, these things have now been adequately scheduled. The band and I, along with our record company, feel that this record deserves the proper setup and promotion, not the “13 Tuesdays left” and “It may just appear in your record store” approach offered by management. We believe this strategy may have been used as a tool by management to sell this latest tour to the various promoters, and if this was the case, this was obviously unfair to them. The stress of dealing with this situation has been considerable for everyone, including the band, but more important, in our opinion, it was something utterly insane to do to our fans. You have our apologies, and please know we have been laboring over this with management for the entire North American tour.

It takes approximately eight weeks for an album to hit the shelves once it has been turned in to the record company. For whatever reasons, it appears that it may have been mistakenly inferred by management that this time period could be condensed to three weeks. With that being said, this is not a promise, a lie or a guarantee, but we do wish to announce a tentative release date of March 6. This is the first time we have done this publicly for this album. Others have made up all the other dates for their own reasons. We would like to assure the fans that everything in our power will be done to meet this date. Once it is finalized and official, you will be notified. If we are delayed for unseen reasons, you also will be notified as soon as possible in regard to a new date, and the album will be released as shortly thereafter as is possible. We thank you for your patience.

In the end, it’s just an album, but it’s one that I, the band, our record company and all involved believe and feel is a true Guns N’ Roses album. Ultimately the public will decide, and regardless of the outcome, our hearts, lives and our passion has been put into this project every step of the way. If for no other reason, we feel those elements alone merit your consideration. We do hope you can hold on just a bit longer, and if not, please take a break and we’ll be more than glad -- if you so choose -- to see you again later.

Once again, we offer our sincere apologies and our deepest thanks. Guns N’ Roses also would like to thank all the fans who attended the 70 concerts in 21 countries for their support in 2006. All the best to each and every one of you over this holiday season, thank you and God bless.

Sincerely,

Axl Rose
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Did anyone (besides me and other GN'R nutswingers) actually read that whole thing? If not, here's the abridged version:

An open letter to our fans:

I didn't feel like doing the rest of the shows on this tour and the dates conflicted with my basketball game watching schedule anyway, so we cancelled them. But it's not my fault. It's our management's fault. It's also the record stores' fault. It's the record company's, MTV's, the President's, the private eyes's, the IRS's, the FBI's, Santa Claus's, God's, Stephanie Seymour's, Tidy Cat's, Tommy Hilfiger's and Gene Snitsky's fault too. But really, as our loyal fans does this shock you? Quit bitching, you know it comes with the territory. I'm sure you are quite familiar with the ticket refund process by now. But, just be clear, it wasn't my fault. I'm all about the fans.

Good news though, Chinese Democracy is gonna come out March 6th! However, notice I did not give a year. It could be 2007 (although, yeah. Probably not.) or it could be 2018. Half the fun is not knowing! But I may leak some more of the new songs on the internet, so keep your eye out.

Thanks to all the fans that came to the shows that we didn't cancel. God Bless.

Sincerly,

Axl Rose



(Axl - I still love you and would gladly shit in a litterbox any day for you! XOXOXO)

Pam Speaks Out About Kid & Tommy + Asshat of the Week

Immediately after the split from her hubby Kid Rock, the rumor mill grinded into placing Pamela Anderson right back with ex husband Tommy Lee. There were photos of the couple together and Tommy reportedly even said he knew the split was coming. But on the Howard Stern radio show, Pam tries to silence the rumors saying it has been so long since she's slept with Tommy - that she can't even remember when it was.

She is also none too happy with reports that Kid Rock reportedly said she was out partying while he stayed home and player Mr. Mom with the kids. Us Weekly grabs a partial transcript of the buxom blonde's appearance on the show.

Howard Stern: “It was reported that you were deciding between Tommy and Kid. Is that true?”

Pam: “No, no, god no!”

HS: “Do you still bang Tommy, when was the last time you banged him?"

Pam: "No, no, it was a long time ago, I don't even remember. That wasn't it…I think I just got swept up and I wanted to have a family for my kids, but you remember really quickly when you get back together why you're not together."

HS: "You said you weren't going to get married again, what made you marry [Kid Rock]?"

Pam: "Well it was just a long time apart and the whole idea of having a family and knowing somebody and not having to introduce somebody new to my kids. It was a big mistake, but I was in St. Tropez, I would have married the fisherman on the corner! We just knew each other. We both wanted a family, we both have kids. But when we were together it just wasn't a good thing. We're just two very different people."

HS: "It was reported that he was really upset about your role in Borat, that he was screaming at you..."

Pam: "He was unhappy about that. I don't know why -- you'd have to ask him -- but he really was very unhappy about that."

HS: "I don't understand, if I was your boyfriend, I would have been so excited for you."

Pam: "Thank you, that's what I'm looking for. Someone who is excited about me. This just didn't work out that way."

HS: "Now he said, his camp said that part of the problem was that you were always out partying and drinking and he was at home babysitting."

Pam: "No, no, he's never been alone with my kids. That was horrible, I think that's what upsets me the most because I am home with my kids all the time, or my parents are here from Canada. I don't even have a nanny."

(ASSHAT OF THE WEEK part):

HS: "Are you happy you miscarried and didn't have Kid Rock's baby?"
Pam: "That's horrible, no. Everything happens for a reason and now we're all here and we're back to normal. It's like it never even happened."

SOURCE
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I believe her about not being with Tommy lately. He's been pretty busy with Lukass the troll:

Nick Burns Jessica

The National Ledger reports that Nick Lachey poured his heart out to his ex-wife about his new love, Vanessa Minnillo, and a source tells the magazine he confessed he was headed for the altar. "I'm getting married again, Jess and I wanted you to hear it from me," the magazine reports Lachey as telling Jessica during a 40-minute phone call. According to the report he claimed that there is a good chance they will be married by the end of the year.

The news came a shock to Simpson. "She knew Nick and Vanessa were serious, but this threw her for a loop," a friend of Jessica's dished to the magazine. "She did her best to contain her emotions."


Jessica is now considering calling Paris Hilton and asking her if she wants to hang out.

Rosie's Asshat Apology

NEW YORK (AP) -- Rosie O'Donnell says she's sorry for mocking spoken Chinese on "The View," but an association that represents journalists from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds, including Chinese American, says it wasn't enough. In a December 5 segment, O'Donnell joked about how Danny DeVito's recent -- and seemingly drunken -- appearance on the ABC daytime talk show had become international news. "You know, you can imagine in China it's like 'ching chong, ching chong chong, Danny DeVito, ching chong chong chong, drunk, "The View," ching chong,' " the 44-year-old comedian said. (Watch O'Donnell utter the words Video) On Thursday's show, she told the audience: "To say ching chong to someone is very offensive, and some Asian people have told me it's as bad as the n-word. Which I was like, 'Really? I didn't know that.' " Karen Lincoln Michel, president-elect of Unity: Journalists of Color Inc., said O'Donnell's remarks "really didn't sound like an apology to me." Lincoln Michel said Unity was waiting for Barbara Walters, who created the show, to respond to a letter asking her to publicly acknowledge that O'Donnell's remarks were "patently offensive." "I think by allowing Rosie O'Donnell's cheap jabs at Chinese Americans to go unchecked, then the network is essentially condoning racial and ethnic slurs," Lincoln Michel told the AP in a phone interview. Unity said it represents more than 10,000 journalists nationwide. "You know it was never (my) intent to mock," O'Donnell said on Thursday's show, "and I'm sorry for those people who felt hurt or were teased on the playground." "But I'm also gonna give you a fair warning that there's a good chance I'll do something like that again, probably in the next week -- not on purpose. Only 'cause it's how my brain works." O'Donnell characterized her accent as "Chinese, Asian, pseudo-Japanese, sounded a little Yiddish ..."

Rosie then continued, "I love egg foo rong, Jackie Chan, dry cleaners, nail salons, Mr. Miyagi, and lot of other Oriental things." (ok, she really didn't)

Asinine Paris Quote Retraction

FROM TMZ.com:

Paris Hilton is the latest Hollywood "star" to incur the wrath of MySpace impersonators.

News reports from several "reputable" sources have been reporting that Paris Hilton was using her MySpace blog to defend Britney Spears. In the fake blog, the "heiress" states that Brit is a great mom who is always there for her children, and that Britney's partying is just the normal behavior for a 25-year-old.

While these are thoughts that could possibly be in Hilton's head, only Miss Hilton knows for sure. TMZ contacted Paris' rep, Elliot Mintz, who revealed that "Paris did not write it. She does not have a MySpace account."
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Now that I think about this it makes sense --she's way too stupid to be able to operate a computer.

RIP SParis 2006-2006

FROM PAGE SIX -

December 14, 2006 -- THE friendship between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton was short, sweet and photogenic. But now, it seems, it's over. A source close to Spears explains why the pop tart, who lost her undies last week, has not been seen with her "new best friend" Hilton since she posted an apology to her fans on her Web site, noting, "Thank God for Victoria's Secret underwear!" The source said, "Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult."


Don't be sad for too long. Judging by Brit's taste in men/friends, I'm sure she'll be hanging out with Tara Reid in no time.

Golden Globe Nominees Announced

PICTURE - DRAMA
Babel
Bobby
The Departed
Little Children
The Queen

ACTOR - DRAMA
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Will Smith, Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, Last King of Scotland

DIRECTOR
Flags of our Fathers, Clint Eastwood
Letters of Iwo Jima, Clint Eastwood
The Queen, Stephen Frears
Babel, Alejandro G. Inarritu
The Departed, Martin Scorsese

ACTOR - MUSICAL/COMEDY
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
Johnny Depp, Pirates
Aaron Eckhart, Thank You for Smoking
Will Ferrel, Stranger
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kinky Boots

COMEDY/MUSICAL
Borat
The Devil Wears Prada
Dreamgirls
Little Miss Sunshine
Thank You For Smoking

ACTRESS - DRAMA
Penelope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Kate Winslet, Little Children

ACTRESS - COMEDY/MUSICAL
Annette Bening, Running with Scissors
Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine
Beyonce Knowles, Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Renee Zellweger, Miss Potter

ACTOR - SUPPORTING
Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson, The Departed
Brad Pitt, Babel
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

ACTRESS - SUPPORTING
Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Apocalypto
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Lives of Others
Pan's Labyrinth
Volver

SCREENPLAY
Babel
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal
The Departed
The Queen

ANIMATED
Cars
Happy Feet
Monster House

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
24 (FOX)
BIG LOVE (HBO)
GREY’S ANATOMY (ABC)
HEROES (NBC)
LOST (ABC)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Patricia Arquette (MEDIUM)
Edie Falco(THE SOPRANOS)
Evangeline Lilly (LOST)
Ellen Pompeo (GREY’S ANATOMY)
Kyra Sedgwick (THE CLOSER)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Patrick Dempsey (GREY’S ANATOMY)
Michael C. Hall (DEXTER)
Hugh Laurie (HOUSE)
Bill Paxton (BIG LOVE)
Kiefer Sutherland (24)


BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)
ENTOURAGE (HBO)
THE OFFICE (NBC)
UGLY BETTY (ABC)
WEEDS (SHOWTIME)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Marcia Cross (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES)
America Ferrerra(UGLY BETTY)
Felicity Huffman (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES)
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE)
Mary-Louise Parker (WEEDS)


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Alec Baldwin (30 ROCK)
Zach Braff (SCRUBS)
Steve Carrell (THE OFFICE)
Jason Lee (MY NAME IS EARL)
Tony Shalhoub (MONK)

FULL LIST

Should be an interesting show this year. Go Borat (to see his acceptance speech) and J-Hud (to see Beyonce's face) !

Asinine Paris Quote of the Day

Defending Britney on her MySpace page:

"For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling"

"Britney loves her kids to death, and I know for a fact that it truly hurts her when she sees these cruel things being written about her. She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting."


Well, she's right about Britney loving her kids to death. That's what we're afraid of!

Congrats Lindsay!!!

Lindsay says she's been sober for a whole week!

She told People Magazine on Monday:

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I'm not even legal to, so why would I?"

" I've been going to AA for a year, by the way," [but had only acknowledged her attendance recently because] "it's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous!"